The neighbor is nixed, p.3
The Neighbor is Nixed, page 3
As much as I loved Tom Selleck and the show, I had promised myself I'd go for a run. “It's my exercise time,” I said. “I'm going to have to skip it, but I can turn on the television for you. Unless you wanted to come with me?” Ruby would never join me in anything that remotely resembled a workout.
She shook her head. “The only time you should run is if someone's chasing you.”
“Well, I'm doing it for my health.”
“Party pooper.”
“I'll turn on the television for you.”
Since Ruby couldn't move inanimate objects, I had to do everything for her. Most of the time, it didn't bother me. Other times, I felt like her unwilling personal assistant.
Once the theme song played, I hurried into my room and slipped into my leggings and sweatshirt before I changed my mind. If I didn't get moving, I'd end up on the couch right next to my ghost.
I hurried out the back door and did some light stretching before getting on my way. When I rounded my house onto the main street, I glanced up at Sylvia's. Pleased to find her car still absent, I took a deep breath and went on my way.
My feet pounded against the pavement, my heart rate increased, and soon, I found myself lost in thought.
Once I'd discovered Ruby's existence, my dedication to my health and fitness had taken a turn. Well, not even a turn. It had gone straight down the tubes and sat at the far end of my priority list. I adored Ruby, but her love of cop shows and sweets had rubbed off on me, bringing me to a level of laziness I'd never known. My New Year Resolution had been to start taking care of myself again, and so far, it was going well.
I rounded the corner just as the sun set behind the majestic red rocks. Total darkness was still a way away, so I'd make it home before then.
Since I used to run five miles with relative ease, I grew irritated when I started huffing and puffing at a mile and a half. By two miles, I was gasping for air with my hands on my knees. Patience. You'll get back into shape.
Hands on hips, I walked home. A two-mile run and a two-mile walk was nothing to sneeze at. As I turned the corner onto my street, relief once again swept through me when I noted Sylvia's car was still gone. I waved at Pete, who sat on his front porch drinking a beer. My other neighbors could be seen moving about inside their homes while I walked by. A hammer and saw lay in Tina's front yard, and I debated whether to knock on her door and remind her she'd left them out but decided to mind my own business. No one in the neighborhood would steal her tools.
When I arrived at my house, I turned as headlights shone behind me.
Sylvia.
She'd stopped in front of Pete's. He walked over to the passenger side and leaned over through the open window. I couldn't hear what was said, but by the volume and tone of Sylvia's voice, she was giving him an earful.
This was confirmed when Pete slammed the top of her car, and threw his beer can at her bumper. Pointing at her, he yelled, “I've had enough! Drop dead, Sylvia!”
He picked up his can and marched back to his house as she drove toward me. Oh, no. I sprinted behind my house and opened the back door, then slammed it shut. Hurrying to the front windows, I peeked through the blinds as Sylvia exited her vehicle and marched into her home. I sighed and stepped away when her lights went on.
Ruby stood right behind me. “What are you doing?” she asked as I gasped.
“Don't scare me like that!”
She smiled and pointed at the blinds. “Are you spying on Sylvia again?”
I placed my hand over my heart and tried to catch my breath. “Yes. She and Pete just got into a big fight.”
“Over what? His tree? If that's the case, she's got some deep-seated issues with that poor Palo Verde.”
“I don't know what the argument was over. All I heard was Pete telling her to drop dead.”
Ruby shrugged and nodded. “That may not be a bad idea. She should take his advice.”
“That's not very nice.”
“Just call 'em as I see 'em, Bernie.”
Chapter 4
I woke the next morning bright and early, ready to take on the day. Planting petunias in my planters leading up to the front door would be my first task immediately after a little yoga and some coffee.
And some Advil. My attempts to get back into shape had my legs feeling as if they’d met the business end of a baseball bat. Even though I’d been at it about a month, the pain didn’t seem to ease up.
“When do we get to see Ned?” Ruby asked.
“I’m not sure,” I replied, sipping my coffee. “I’ve got to talk to Adam. I thought he would’ve called last night, but I didn’t hear from him.”
Ned, the ghost who lived with Adam, had informed me that he would appreciate it if I didn’t bring Ruby around so much. As a cowboy from a century ago, he preferred the quiet life, and having Ruby around was anything but that. However, I didn’t have the heart to tell Ruby. Teasing Ned was one of her favorite pastimes.
“It’s been at least a week since I’ve been over there,” Ruby complained. “Maybe we can go today?”
“Nope.” I set my mug into the sink and headed for the front door. “I’ve got guests checking in. We don’t have time.”
Ruby trailed behind me, cursing and complaining, as we exited the house. Sylvia’s car was in the driveway, her garage open. Taking a deep breath, I was determined to get the flowers in the soil and not hide from her. The neighborhood was on my side. Our army of five was strong.
I grabbed my gloves and the petunias I’d purchased from the shed. I carried everything around to the front, glad I’d slipped on my sweatshirt. In a couple of hours, I wouldn’t need it, but a chill still hung in the fresh, morning air.
Ruby stretched out face up on the walkway, her hands laced behind her head. As I slowly squatted down to dig, my legs protested, and I groaned in pain. Maybe I needed to ease up on my plan of getting back into shape.
“All that running isn’t good for you,” Ruby said, closing her eyes. “I told you, the only time you should run is if someone’s chasing you. Your knees will go out early.”
Ignoring her, I pushed my shovel into the dirt and dug my hole. Being outside in the fresh air lifted my spirits and I found myself humming and appreciating the time alone before my guests arrived.
After the first pot had been filled with the red, pink, and purple flowers, Ruby said, “I wish I could feel the sun on my face. I always loved that.”
And she also wished she could drink tequila, be heard by anyone but me and Ned, laugh with her friends, and turn on the television herself. I sighed with pity. Would she ever find her final resting place, or would she be trapped here forever?
I glanced over at Sylvia’s—still no action. With her garage door up, I expected her to emerge from her home at any time.
Tina walked out into the street and waved at me as she headed towards Sylvia’s.
“It’s go-time,” Ruby said, sitting up. “Hope she’s armed for her confrontation with Satan’s sister.”
I turned back to my next barrel as Tina knocked on Sylvia’s door, the sound echoing across the street. Ruby kept me in the loop with a running commentary. “Sylvia’s not answering. Tina’s knocking again. Still no answer. I wonder what Sylvia’s doing? Maybe she’s on the toilet? In the shower? I would think she’d answer the dang door. Now Tina’s walking over to the garage. Maybe Sylvia’s out back? That’s weird, her garage door is open.”
An ear-shattering scream scared me so badly, I scrambled on my hands and knees toward my house.
“Hurry up!” Ruby yelled as she stood. “It’s Armageddon across the street!”
The pain in my legs now forgotten, I scrambled to my feet and rushed across the pavement and past Sylvia’s car. I found Tina hunched over Sylvia, who lay in the middle of her garage wearing her blue hospital scrubs, spread-eagle. In fact, her pose reminded me of a star. A hammer lay next to her while blood pooled around her head like a halo. Her pale blue eyes stared upward, devoid of any life.
“Bernie! Call someone!” Tina yelled hysterically. “I think she’s dead!”
“Uh oh,” Ruby muttered. “Someone nixed the neighbor.”
I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and dialed 9-1-1 with shaky hands.
“Better tell her to step away from the body,” Ruby said. “She’s going to get tears and snot all over the crime scene.”
Crime scene? Well, unless Sylvia had hit herself in the head with a hammer hard enough to make herself bleed, Ruby was right.
I stepped forward and grabbed Tina by the bicep. “Come sit outside,” I urged just as the operator answered.
Tina followed me to the front porch and plopped down on a chair. “We need an ambulance,” I said, giving Sylvia’s address. “I think… someone’s dead.” I turned back to Tina. “Right? She’s dead?”
Tina stared off into space, her body trembling as she nodded.
“She’s dead,” I said again. “Please… send someone.”
I glanced back at the garage and then at Tina. According to her, there was nothing to be done for Sylvia. However, the way Tina shook and cried, I was afraid she was going to have a nervous breakdown and there’d be another prone body on the property. Sitting next to her, I took her palm in mine. “It’s okay,” I said, trying to keep my voice even. She stared at our intertwined hands as if they were a foreign entity.
“I think she was killed,” Tina whispered. “The hammer… the blood…”
“Does she think she pounded her own skull?” Ruby asked, snorting. “Of course, she was murdered! Another mystery to be solved, Bernie! Isn’t it exciting?”
With a deep breath, I focused on Tina and not my callous grandmother. “You’re probably right. The police will be here soon.”
“I’m all of a sudden quite cold,” Tina whispered, running her hands over her arms. Noticeable goosebumps crawled over her flesh. Possible shock?
After pulling off my sweatshirt, I handed it to her. “Put this on. Or at least wrap it around your shoulders.”
She took it and held it to her chest as sirens wailed in the distance.
A police cruiser pulled up and Adam jumped from the car and ran up the walk. Relief flooded his features as I stood and he took me in his arms. “I’m so glad to see you,” he whispered. “When I heard a body had been found on your street, I panicked.”
I wrapped my arms around his waist and allowed myself to be comforted for a moment before he had to get down to business. “I’m fine,” I whispered. “Sylvia isn’t.”
He held me at arm’s length. “Where is she?”
“In the garage.” Hitching my thumb over my shoulder, I whispered, “Tina found her. I think she may be in shock.”
Adam nodded and squatted down in front of Tina. “Are you going to be okay?”
She stared at him wordlessly. As he glanced up at me, I only worried for my neighbor more. It appeared she was shutting down.
“The ambulance will be here soon, and I’d like them to take a look at you,” Adam said. “Is that going to be okay?”
Finally, she nodded, and I sighed in relief. At least she was somewhat responsive. Adam stood, returned to me, and kissed the top of my head. “Please stay here with her. I’m going to look in the garage.”
I sat next to Tina again and took her hand. Ruby plopped down on the porch in front of us and stretched her legs out in front of her. “What a morning,” she said. “Another dead body. Who do you think did it?”
Unable to answer because I didn’t talk to my ghost in public, I simply shrugged.
“Do you think it was Tina?” Ruby asked.
I glanced over at the distraught woman whose hand trembled in mine. If so, she was one heck of an actress. I shook my head.
The ambulance arrived, as did the sheriff himself. My end of the street was now blocked with emergency vehicles.
“Let’s go say hello to Brucey Boy,” Ruby said as he hurried into the garage, the EMTs on his heels.
I wasn’t going to leave Tina, and I doubted the sheriff wanted us back in the crime scene, so I stayed put.
Yolanda, Pete, and Wilder strode up the sidewalk as one of the EMTs hurried over to Tina and me. He squatted down in front of her and smiled, his gaze roaming her face.
“He’s going to make sure you’re okay,” I said, squeezing Tina’s hand, then letting it go. I walked down the path to the rest of my neighbors.
“What’s going on?” Wilder asked.
“Sylvia’s dead,” I said. “I think she was murdered.”
The three stared at me wide eyed. “Oh, my goodness,” Yolanda whispered. “How awful.”
“Dang it,” Pete muttered, scrubbing a hand over his face. “That’s horrible.”
Wilder simply turned to the house, then crossed his arms over his chest.
“Tina found her,” I continued. “She’s really upset.”
“That’s understandable,” Yolanda said. “Should someone go sit with her?”
I glanced behind me and saw the EMT taking her blood pressure. “Maybe in a bit. Let them finish and make sure she’s okay.”
The four of us gazed at Sylvia’s garage in silence. Ruby had been right. Unless she’d knocked herself over the head with a hammer, she’d been killed by someone. But by whom?
I glanced at my neighbors. All of us had tangled with the woman. Like me, she’d threatened to shut down Wilder’s herb business. She and Yolanda had argued and fought over Yolanda’s preference of nudity in her backyard. Pete had an affair with her and she’d been hassling him about trimming his tree.
Recalling what I’d witnessed the previous evening after my run, I studied him a little closer. Drop dead, Sylvia. Perhaps he’d helped her along?
A car pulled up behind the ambulance and sheriff’s vehicles. A family gaped at the scene and I realized they were probably my guests. With a curse, I hurried over while running a hand over my hair and pasting a smile on my face. The driver rolled down his window.
“Hi, there!” I said, my voice as chipper as I could make it. “Are you checking in?”
“What’s going on here?” the woman in the passenger seat asked.
The man glanced over at Sylvia’s again. “Yes. What’s happening?”
“Oh, nothing,” I said. “Let’s get you checked in. The bed and breakfast is right over here.”
They continued to stare at Sylvia’s house, and I pursed my lips. How in the world did I get their attention away from the calamity across the street? I needed them inside my house, handing me a credit card.
“Doesn’t seem like the looky-loos are going to budge anytime soon,” Ruby muttered.
“I’m not sure about this, Ralph,” the woman said. She leaned over her husband and glanced up at me. “Are you sure you don’t know what’s going on there?”
“She’s… my neighbor’s sick,” I said. “Come on into the house. We’ll get you checked in.”
It wasn’t exactly a lie. Tina was in shock or something, so yes, she was ill. I’d just left out the details of the dead woman in the garage.
Just when I thought I’d had them convinced, the sheriff strode out of the garage and waved me over. “Get over here, Bernadette,” he shouted. “This is a murder investigation, and we need to speak to you.”
“Murder!” the husband and wife yelled in unison. They quickly exchanged glances as my hopes of keeping them as customers vanished.
“I think we need to find somewhere else to stay,” he said, throwing the gearshift in reverse. “Honey, call the others and tell them what’s going on. This isn’t a safe neighborhood.”
The wife pulled out her cell phone while he backed up and executed a three-point turn. As they drove away, a sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. My bank account needed those reservations.
“Welp, you got what you wanted,” Ruby said.
“What does that mean?”
“Sylvia’s out of your hair.”
“I never wanted her dead,” I muttered.
“But she’s no longer a part of the neighborhood, so that’s good.” Ruby tapped on her lip and shook her head. “Even though she’s dead, she succeeded.”
“In what?”
“Burning down your business… not literally, but figuratively. Your rooms are empty, just the way she wanted it.”
Chapter 5
When the local press arrived, the sheriff shooed my neighbors and me all back to our homes with a promise that he'd be by to speak to everyone who lived on the street. Ruby and I sat in the living room staring into space, her hand moving over the back of my cranky tabby, Elvira. Sure, I felt awful Sylvia was dead. Perhaps I should be more upset, more in line with Tina's reaction. However, I'd discovered dead people before. Was I used to it? Of course not. I couldn't imagine a time when finding a body wouldn't upset me. But I also didn't require medical care. Once the initial shock wore off, I'd be over finding Sylvia. Cold, I know, but the woman had tried to take away my livelihood, so I most likely wouldn't shed a tear over her demise.
My other mounting problems? Now those had my panties in a knot, as Ruby would say, and my stress level slowly rose. It continued to creep up as I sat on the couch and realized how dire my financial situation had become. I wanted to toss my cookies.
Three rooms full for a week was a huge chunk of money to lose out on and my heart thundered with panic. What if I couldn't pay my power bill? Thankfully, I didn't have a mortgage, but I did have a tax bill coming due. I'd been counting on that money to pay it.
“So, what do we do now?” Ruby said. “I have an idea! We can go visit Ned!”
“We're waiting here,” I replied. “The sheriff is going to want to speak to me and right now I'm on the verge of a panic attack as I try to figure out how I'm going to pay that tax bill.”
“You should've had your business restructured like I suggested.”
“I tried. The lawyer ended up dead, remember?”
Ruby shrugged. “Find a new one.”
Of course, she was right. But the issue had been relegated to the back burner as the holidays had approached, not to mention my newly rekindled romance with Adam. Hanging out with him had been much more important than finding a breathing lawyer who knew something about taxes and business structure.
