Necromancist, p.34
Necromancist, page 34
“I know.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry.”
She wiped her tears away with her free hand. “Why? Why did he have to be cursed with that damn gift? It made him suffer so much, only to get him killed.”
He brushed a tear from her cheek. “Alice, listen to me. I owe him to tell you the full story, and I need for you to hear me out.”
A sense of foreboding stiffened her spine. “Why are you saying it like you’re guilty?”
“Ivan called me an hour ago to say he’d had a visit from Boris. He asked that we meet at the theater. When we got there, he told us Godfrey had taken you. Him and I both knew no matter what he did, Godfrey wasn’t going to release you. He’d promised Boris a prize, and the prize was your life. Ivan called up Nicolas, but all he could tell us was that you were in the building. Our infrared couldn’t penetrate all of the theatre structure. A search would’ve taken too long. Our only chance at saving you was not allowing Boris to let Godfrey know Ivan wasn’t going to do what he’d asked. Ivan was looking for a way to get rid of Boris, at least to win us enough time to find you. The only way of doing that was to close the portal, and the only way of closing the portal was to be dead.”
Alice listened to the words with a sense of growing dread. “Please, no.”
“You have to face this,” Cain said. “If not, it’ll eat you alive. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about.”
She was crying harder now, guessing where it was going and not sure she could live with the knowledge. “Please, don’t.”
“Ivan needed to die so he could find and close the portal.” He added softly, “He asked me to help him.”
“No!”
“I helped him push that knife into his heart. For that, I’ll never forgive myself, but I didn’t have a choice.”
It hurt so much she thought she might fall to pieces. “Please, stop.” She covered her face again, but Cain pulled her hands away.
“He loved you. He always loved you, and he always will. He wanted you to know that.”
Sobs racked her body.
“Seeing you like this breaks my heart. If I could take it all away, I swear I would. I only hope in time you’ll forgive me.”
“If only I’d gotten away sooner—”
“No.” Cain’s voice was hard. “You won’t blame yourself, do you hear me?”
“If it wasn’t for me—”
“Godfrey would’ve found Ivan’s weakness no matter what, and he always had one.” He brushed her hair from her face. “You.”
“I can’t live with the knowledge.”
“He died for you. You owe it to him to live, not just a mediocre life but a good life.”
“Oh, Daddy…”
“I know, darling.” He pulled her against his chest. “Let it out. There’s no one here to see your pain.”
Letting go, she cried until her eyes were dry and she had nothing left to give. Cain took her upstairs and made her lie down on the bed. He pulled off her shoes and covered her with a blanket before sitting down by her side with her hand clutched in his. She stared at the ceiling, seeing nothing and feeling empty inside. When she turned her head, she caught her father in a rare moment of not having his guard up. Worry contorted his face.
“Do you remember the night Mom died?” she asked.
“Of course. I’ll never forget.”
“You sat with me then, too, all night long.”
He smiled and brushed the hair from her forehead. “I needed you as much as you needed me.”
“You know what I appreciated most?”
He shook his head, giving her a sad smile.
“You didn’t lie to me. You didn’t tell me she was a star up in heaven. I asked you where she was, and you said you didn’t know.”
“I never lied to you. I wasn’t going to start on the night your mother died.”
“I think I saw her a couple of times in the last few days.”
Cain grew quiet. After a while, he asked, “What was she like?”
“The same as when she died. I don’t think she ever got over the reason for ending her life.”
“I’m not even sure why she did it.” Speaking more to himself than to her, he mused, “Was it her career or me?”
“It wasn’t you.”
“When she was younger and success came easily, she was very different.”
She turned on her side to have a better view of him. “What was the hardest part of her death for you?”
He stared at his hands for a moment before saying, “Missing her. Not being enough.”
“Not enough to make her happy?”
“Not enough to give her a reason for living.”
“Do you still miss her?”
“Every day of my life.”
She pursed her lips in an effort to still their trembling. Finally, having a measure of control again, she said, “I already miss him so much.”
Cain took her hand between both of his. “It’s all right to still love him, even when you meet someone else, one day. The heart is limitless and the capacity for love endless.”
It was more or less what Henry had said. Ivan loved her. He couldn’t admit it because he was protecting himself as much as she was, but he loved her, and his spirit always would.
“I needed his crazy like he needed my normal.” She smiled at the memory, wiping away more tears.
“You had a great love.”
She looked at Cain for some time. “Why did you chase him away? He told me what you said to him that night.”
“I knew what he was. My organization had found most of the gifted people by then. He’d always been a troubled boy. His soul was already dark. There was a good chance I’d be the one to eliminate him one day, and I didn’t want you to go through that pain.”
“I would’ve gladly taken one more day with him, no matter the heartache.”
He hung his head. “I love you. Everything I do, I do to make the world a better place for you. Ivan … I thought he was an infatuation, an obsession, and that you’d forget about him. If I had known…”
“I know.”
“I left after your mother’s funeral because you wanted me to but also to keep you safe. I’ve tried so hard to keep your identity a secret, and I knew as long as Ivan was in the picture, you’d never be safe. I didn’t want you to become a part of this life.”
“It seems fate had its own plans.”
“You know I don’t believe in fate.”
“Ivan came back to find me because Nicolas told him to, but the plan was all along for Ivan to find you. If he hadn’t, Godfrey would’ve either used him or killed him to steal his art. It looks like it has always been my fate to be with Ivan, and when you drove him away, fate found a way to bring us back together.”
“I’ll never forgive myself for taking the man you loved away from you.” He closed his eyes briefly. “Twice.”
Compassion filled her heart. “I do. I forgive you. You did what you believed was right. You always have. Life is too short to harbor grudges for actions committed with good intentions.”
His expression twisted. “I don’t deserve a daughter like you.”
“Don’t say that,” she said through her tears. “You’re a good father. Asia said something very true. Most of your team members had shitty fathers, but you’re not one of them. You’re not the monster I faced, tonight. It makes me want to weep for Lily.”
Cain kissed her hand before arranging it carefully on the bed and pulling the comforter up to her waist. “Do you want to talk about what happened with Godfrey?”
“There’s not much to say.” She didn’t want to linger on the event. “I don’t know why, but I could see Boris. He tricked me. I thought he was our new décor manager, and he let me believe it. After the show…” She swallowed. “After I’d made a fool of myself, I wanted to be alone. Boris led me to a backroom he’d decorated with props. It was a trap. Shortly after, Godfrey arrived and locked me in.”
Cain clenched his jaw. “Did he hurt you?”
“He didn’t have a chance.”
He smiled. “You’re a brave woman. I’m proud of you.”
“I didn’t feel so brave. All I knew was that I had to survive. I couldn’t take him on in strength, so I had to find a way of outwitting him.”
“How did you do it?”
“I loosened the bolts of the chandelier. I had to stand on a chair on the bed. The bolts were closed tightly, but I used one of the metal lids of a perfume bottle to unscrew them just enough for the weight of the chandelier to do the rest of the work. I also had help from a spirit.”
“A spirit?”
“I mentioned the name of a woman who appeared in the room before Godfrey got back. She gave me a strange message about watching over him. Somehow, I knew it would throw him off kilter enough for me to fight back.”
Cain appeared thoughtful. “What was her name?”
“Angelique.”
From his expression, it was clear he knew who she was.
“Who was she?”
“His first wife.”
“What?” she whisper-cried. “The one he tortured?”
“Yes.”
Alice shuddered. “I hope you find him and put an end to his life. Promise me.”
Cain took her hand again. “I promise, if it’s the last thing I do.”
She nodded. The knowledge that her father would avenge Ivan’s death gave her a sense of peace.
“Do you remember how you used to put me to sleep when I was little?” she said, needing the escape into nothingness, even if just for a short while. “You used to read to me from Shakespeare.”
He gave a faint smile. “I didn’t think you’d remember.”
She rolled her eyes. “Othello? Who wouldn’t remember?”
He chuckled. “You want me to read to you?”
“Will you?”
“You don’t have to ask.”
She motioned at the stack of books on her nightstand. “Take your pick.”
He brushed his fingers over the titles and paused on an unabridged bundle of fairytales by the Brothers Grimm. “You still read these vicious tales?”
“I love them.”
He smiled. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
Turning the cover, he started reading.
As his deep voice filled the room, she lost track of the words and their meaning. Her thoughts were with Ivan and their moments together. She gave over to the pain and sadness. Soon, exhaustion claimed her. It had to be an aftereffect of the adrenaline wearing off. Finally, she drifted into a fitful sleep.
When she woke up later, the room was empty but thankfully not dark. Cain had left on the lamp on the nightstand. She got up, draped a shawl from the chair around her shoulders, and went downstairs.
Cain sat at the kitchen table. When he saw her, he lifted the pot in front of him. “Tea?”
She couldn’t bear the thought of food or even a warm drink. “No, thanks. Any news?”
“They haven’t found the body.”
“Where could it have gone?” She sat down and bit her lip. “He deserves a proper burial.”
“I don’t have an explanation, but we’ll keep looking.”
“What about Godfrey?” Just saying the name had bile push up in her throat.
“No sign of him. Maya found a hole blasted in a back wall of the drama stage.”
“That explains how he got out and possibly how whoever helped him, got in.” If she didn’t stay busy, grief would consume her. “I better call Johnny. How much does he know?”
“Nothing, and there’s no need to call. He called while you were sleeping. As far as he’s concerned, Ivan left just after you. No one knows where he is.”
“We’re just going to leave it like that without telling anyone he’s dead?”
“It’s best to keep this—my organization—out of the media. There’s more at stake than you, me, and Ivan.”
“What now?”
“By breach of contract, the show is off.”
“Poor Johnny must be going out of his mind.”
“I’m more concerned about you.”
“It feels as if I’m dying inside,” she said honestly. “But I know from experience it will get better.”
His smile turned sad. “Yes, it will.”
Hope filled her heart when she suddenly thought of something. “I can see the dead.”
“Alice.” His voice held a note of warning. “You’re alive. You can’t live for loving the dead.”
“Yet, you do.”
“That’s not why Ivan gave his life for you. Besides, he was going to block all the portals, making it impossible for any spirit to cross over into our world.”
The only thing that kept her going was the hope that he’d come to her in spirit as he’d come to her in life. If that was all she could get, she’d take it, and nobody was going to change her mind.
“What happens, now?” she asked. “How long will you stay?”
“As long as you need me. I can buy a house here to be closer to you.”
“You’d do that for me?”
“Of course.” He poured a cup of tea and pushed it toward her. “You have to eat and drink something.”
“What about your job?”
“My team is scattered all over the world. Clelia and Josselin are in France. Lann and Kat live in Chile, and Sean and Asia settled in Colombia. Only Maya and Tim are left in New York. It won’t make a big difference if I work from here.”
She smiled. “I appreciate the sacrifice, but there’s not much left here for me.”
“What about your job? I know how much it means to you.”
“You do?”
“I never really left you, you know.”
Sadness at his words invaded her soul, making fresh tears find their way to her eyes. She blinked them back. “That’s what Ivan said.”
“Then both of us kept track. We can stay here in London, you and me.”
“It’s not important, anymore.” She looked away so Cain wouldn’t see the turmoil in her eyes.
The truth was she couldn’t face going back, not with the memories that would assault her at the theater, both good and bad. Anyway, Ivan had been right. The reason she’d taken the PR job was because she was frightened of not living up to her mother’s legend.
“You don’t have to decide about your future now,” Cain said gently. “Take your time.”
She nodded.
A meow at the window drew their attention.
Happy for the distraction, she got up and opened the window. “It’s Mr. Whiskers.”
The cat jumped inside and rubbed against her leg.
“Hey, you.” She picked him up and cuddled him against her chest. “It’s the neighbor’s cat, but he spends more time here than at his own home.”
Cain gave her a warm smile. “I know.”
“Of course, you do.” She put Mr. Whiskers down and filled his bowl with kibbles. “I’m going for a shower. I’ll fix dinner after. You better tell the others to come inside. I’m sure they can all do with a warm meal.”
The look on his face was one of pride. “Yes, they’d like that.”
Chapter 19
During the next week, Maya and Clelia mostly stayed with Alice while the men took off in frantic searches for Godfrey and Ivan’s body. Clelia took over the cooking while Maya managed the household chores, no matter how much Alice protested. Most evenings, they all had a quiet meal at Alice’s house. Cain had moved in with her for the time being while the others stayed at their hotel. Someone always kept watch. The times when things got too much for her, they let her sit with her album of keepsakes, paging through old photos and disintegrating flowers.
Articles about her failure on stage had made headline news, only to be outshined by features on Ivan’s disappearance. Speculations were he’d run off to some exotic location. The theater sued Ivan for a huge amount of money, which Kate had to deal with. Closing down was no longer a threat with the money coming from the lawsuit, and Johnny told her to take all the time she needed after her public humiliation before getting back to work.
Not a day went by that Ivan didn’t dominate her thoughts. She took the time she needed to grieve. Even if they couldn’t have a burial, Cain arranged a small, secret funeral service to give her the closure she craved. Eventually, the leads to Godfrey dried up, and Cain made arrangements to go back to New York to meet with his sponsors. Being Cain’s daughter, her life would always be in danger, but she refused to take a bodyguard. She tried hard to maintain a sense of normality. Instead, Cain equipped her with a smart watch that would always give her location and taught her how to use it while his team put extra security measures in place around her house. Maya gave her a pistol and took her to the shooting range on a daily basis until she knew how to shoot a bullseye.
On the day of Cain’s departure, he stood on her doorstep with mixed feelings etched on his face.
“Go,” Alice said. “I have a few loose ends to tie up before I decide what to do next.”
“I wish you’d let some of the team stay.”
“They’re not bodyguards. They have their families to get back to. I can take care of myself.”
“I have no doubt. I’m just…”
“Worried?”
“Like a father.”
She kissed his cheek. “I’ll come visit.”
He nodded. “Take care.”
She would. For Ivan. He’d given his life for hers. She wasn’t going to waste it.
“Go.” She shooed him off to the waiting van.
“Call me.” He motioned at the smart watch on her arm.
Then they were gone. For the first time since Ivan’s death, she was alone in her house. She took a shaky breath. It wouldn’t be easy, but she had to fight on. Ivan would always be a part of her, and she’d never give up the hope of seeing him again, one day. For now, life awaited.
The seafood restaurant was small and intimate. Couples were having dinner at tables set with candles and a single red rose. The flowers reopened the wound in Alice’s heart, but she put the thought of Ivan into the part of her soul where she locked away her most treasured memories and made her way to the table where Henry waited.
