Lost time, p.12
Lost Time, page 12
“You’re leaving us?” Her voice is full of accusations.
“But I’ll be back in a month or two,” I say. “Pinkie promise.”
She flops heavily against the couch, still turning the shell over in her hands. “You can’t leave us, Mr. C. Me and Mom… we need you.”
“Mom and I,” Lani calls from the other room. “Subjective case pronoun.”
Shannon and I exchange looks.
I lean back and put my arm around her. “You don’t need me, Shannon. You got along just fine before I fell out of that damn tree. And like I said, I’ll be back.”
She looks over at me, her eyes pleading, and whispers, “Mom’s in love with you, Mr. C, and if you don’t come b—”
“Shh.” I put my finger up to her lips. “Don’t say that. I’ll be back. I promise. Hey, I’ve already fallen hard for both of you!” I jostle her shoulder until she smiles. “Come on, Shaz. It’s your birthday, and anyway, I won’t be leaving until next week.”
Her eyes light up. “Wait a sec!” She scoots to the edge of the sofa. “I’ll come with you. Oh my god, it’s perfect. I’ll take the mask to C-Bay so Mr. Kirk can see it, and I’ll teach people how to fix their masks.” She looks over at me, a huge smile spreading across her face. “I’m old enough to leave the Bub, and C-Bay has a real university! Come on, Mr. C. You have to take me!”
Lani peeks around the doorframe. “No.” She disappears again.
“Maaaaam.” Shannon gives me a pleading look and mouths the word, Help?
“Your mother’s right, Shannon. It’s too dangerous. You’d have to wear a biosuit in the plane, and if something went wrong—”
“Madders does it all the time,” she says. “He’s flown to C-Bay like a hundred times.”
Lani reappears. “Absolutely not. End of conversation.” She walks into the room carrying my chocolate cake all lit up with candles. “Happy eighteenth birthday, Shannon!”
Shannon’s cherubic face is drawn down into a pout, and I nudge her with my foot. She glances sideways at me, her eyebrows furrowed, and I give her my best Don’t go there! look.
She recovers almost immediately. “Oh, Mom,” she says, clapping her hands together. “It’s beautiful. And real candles! Thank you so much!” She glances back at me. “But won’t they burn the cake?”
I laugh. “No silly. You make a wish, then you get one breath to blow out all the candles. And if you manage to get every last one, your wish will come true.”
Lani gives me a disapproving look.
“That is, most of the time,” I add as Lani sets the cake down on the coffee table.
“Hmm,” Shannon says, her top lip falling over the bottom one. “I wish that everyone…” She thinks for a second. “Every person and every animal… could go Outside again.” She takes a deep breath and blows out all the candles.
Lani and I clap and start singing “Happy Birthday”—each of us in a different language—as Shannon smiles and blushes.
“That,” Lani says, wiping a tear from her eye, “was a very noble wish, Shannon. I love you, baby.”
Shannon gets up and gives her mother a bear hug. “I love you too, Mom—more than anything else in the world.”
Lani takes a minute to get her emotions back under control, then she laughs and says, “Let them eat cake!” She turns to me. “Diego, will you do the honors? I’ll grab some plates and forks.”
The instant her mother disappears, Shannon rounds on me. “You have to help me, Mr. C. She’ll listen to you. You can tell her that you’ll keep an eye on me, make sure I don’t do anything dangerous. You know how she is!” She leans closer, her eyes pleading. “Pleeease?”
“I’ll talk to her, Shannon, but no promises.”
Lani reappears, a tea tray in hand, and I hastily cut the cake.
“Diego, tell Shannon where you got the chocolate,” Lani says, her voice light.
“Now there’s a story!” I say and hand out the slices of cake.
“Well?” Shannon asks. “Where did you find it? Chocolate is scarcer than chicken’s teeth.”
“In the Room of Requirement, of course!”
“No way!” Shannon says, her eyes twinkling.
“Yes way. After you told me about it, I went on a real scavenger hunt.” I take a sip of tea and continue my story. “I managed to dig up thirteen large cocoa powder tins—I’d say they were buried in the five- to ten-year-old strata—and when I dumped, scraped, and disassembled them, I found enough leftover cocoa for the cake.”
“Oh my god, that’s ace, Mr. C. Thank you!” She polishes off her piece in a matter of seconds, but when I offer her another slice, she hesitates. “We should save some cake for Madders—and for Miss Lucy and the Millers too. They’re all part of our family!”
“Of course we will,” Lani says, smiling. “There’s plenty, so go ahead and have another slice. I’ll cut a big piece for Madders, save an extra one for you, and you can take the rest to Mindy’s. I think Mrs. Miller is on call tonight, so you should be able catch Miss Lucy and her at the clinic.”
“Sweet.” She starts eating her second piece. “So, uh, about C-Bay…” She gives me a furtive glance. “Mr. C thinks it’s a good idea. Don’t you, Mr. C?”
Lani chokes on her tea.
“Whoa, there!” I hold up my hands. “I didn’t say that, Shannon. I said we’ll talk about it.”
“But you agree with me! I know you do. You saw what I did with the rebreather mask. You know I’m old enough to go!”
“I want what’s best for you, Shannon, and so does your mother.” I look at Lani. “Whatever your mom says goes.”
Lani gives me a scathing look and then turns to Shannon. “In the first place, it’s too dangerous. You’d have to be Outside for days. One little accident, and unlike Diego, you’d be dead in a matter of minutes.”
“I know that, Mom. I’m not a lolo D-2. I go Outside every week to take care of the fishpond, and I’ve never had an accident. Even when the rattlesnake bit through my suit, I didn’t panic, and nothing bad happened. Madders says I’m more mature than most of the adults he knows.”
“In the second place,” Lani says, “you have absolutely no actual flying experience, so you’d just be extra work for Madders.”
“Mom, I’ve spent hundreds of hours running the simulator. And the only reason I don’t have any real experience is because you refuse to let Madders take me up in his airplane.”
“And in the third place, you’re just a child. The world is a cold and uncaring place, young lady, and you’d be stuck half a continent away from home with no one to take care of you.”
“Mr. C will protect me,” she says, glancing at me. “And besides, I’m not a child anymore, Mom. If you’d just give me a chance, you’d see that I can take care of myself.”
“I absolutely forbid you to g-go, Shannon!”
I’ve never heard Lani raise her voice before, and I can tell that she is close to tears—and so is Shannon.
Christ, what a mess.
“And Mr. C agrees with my d-decision,” she adds, almost begging. “Don’t you?”
I take a long drink of tea and finish eating my cake.
“Well, don’t you?” Lani finally says, her eyes pinned on me.
I nod, unable to meet Shannon’s gaze. “If your mother says you can’t go, Shannon… Well, that’s all there is to it.”
Chapter 18
Lani: Pickup Lines
After Shannon stomps out, Diego and I stand there staring at each other. It’s the first time we’ve been alone together in a couple of weeks—since I pronounced him strong enough to take care of himself—and I can tell that he’s uncomfortable.
Because of this absurd idea about Shannon leaving? Or because he doesn’t want to be alone with me?
Ever since that night in his apartment, we’ve been spending more time together, but as soon as things get physical, he backs off. When I finally got up the nerve to ask about it, he said, Give me some time, and left it at that.
Still, not a day goes by that he doesn’t find a minute to put his arms around me, whether it’s a hug first thing in the morning or an all-too-fleeting embrace after he walks me home at night. And I live for those brief moments in his arms.
But there’s no way I’m letting him take Shannon away from me.
And Bella wouldn’t let you in C-Bay if her life depended on it.
“You could have backed me up a bit better than that,” I say.
Diego shifts his weight and then shuts the door. “It would be good for Shannon to get out and meet new people, Lani, get a formal education, and have an opportunity to widen the gene pool.”
I stare at his profile, all the warmth drained out of me.
“And from the sounds of it,” he says, “C-Bay would be the perfect place for her to do that.” He looks up at me, asking with his eyes why I’m being so unreasonable.
“I can’t, Diego. I can’t let her go. It’s too dangerous. What if something were to happen to her—happen to both of you?”
“Nothing’s going to happen to us, Lani.” He takes my hand and pulls me into a hug.
“You don’t know that!” I squeeze my hands into fists. “You haven’t been Outside since you fell out of that damn tree.” I look up at him, irritated that he won’t let it go. “This world is not like yours, Diego. Too many things can go wrong, and small mistakes can be lethal.” I turn away. “At least for those of us who don’t have nanobots floating around in our blood to protect us.”
“That’s why we have Madders. He’s the best pilot in North America—you said so yourself.” He glances down at my face and then pushes a lock of hair behind my ear. “And Shannon says he’s flown the route hundreds of times—”
“More like three or four trips in twenty years.”
“—so there’s no reason to believe he won’t get us there safe and sound.”
“He’s had some close calls: emergency landings and a cracked propeller.”
“But he still managed to get there and back just fine.”
I rest my forehead against his chest, my thoughts racing. The voices in my head have been mostly silent since I told Diego about Sam, but now that he’s planning to leave—and god forbid, take Shannon with him—they’ve returned to haunt me.
What will you do if he never comes back?
“Once we get there,” he says, “Shannon can start on her engineering degree—and also help with the rebreather masks. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, Lani, and when she graduates, every biodome in the world will be begging her to go live there.”
The thought makes my chest hurt.
He gives my braid a gentle tug. “Maybe it’s time you let her spread her wings?”
I bite my lip, fighting back tears—but failing.
He watches a tear roll down my cheek. “Shit, I’m an idiot,” he says and pulls me back against his chest, stroking my hair. “Look, I’m sorry, Lani. I shouldn’t have said anything. If you think it’s too dangerous, then it’s too dangerous. Whatever you think is best, I’ll support you one hundred percent.”
His admission makes me cry again.
Because you know he’s right.
“Hey?” he says, waiting for me to look at him. When I don’t respond, he tips my chin up. “Shannon can stay here and take courses on the computer. Once we get back from C-Bay, Madders can take her flying for real, and the three of us can help her with the her classes. We’ll figure out a way to make it work, okay?”
I snuggle against him, unable to speak.
He holds me for another minute. “You okay?” He releases me but keeps his hands on my shoulders.
I nod half-heartedly, my emotions a train wreck.
“Did you want me to talk to her about it?”
I press my lips together and then shake my head. “No, I’ll do it.”
“Okay.” He kisses me on the cheek and reaches for the door. “See you tomorrow morning?”
The prospect of being alone terrifies me, and the words tumble out before I can stop them. “S-stay with me?” My heart is pounding in my throat. “Please?”
He freezes with his hand on the doorknob. “The store kept trying to sell more furniture, but all she wanted was one nightstand?”
I stare at him, not understanding.
“Get it?” He smiles sheepishly. “Sell more furniture…one night stand.”
“I should have killed you when I had the chance.”
He laughs and closes the door. “So what did you have in mind? A sword fight? Or maybe a battle-to-the-death game of Scrabble?”
“I was thinking more along the lines of bedroom furniture.”
He raises one eyebrow. “The nightstand, is it?”
I nod, my face getting hot.
“And Shannon?”
“Sleepover at Mindy’s. They’re testing recipes for dog biscuits.”
“Ah. Good for her.”
I swallow. “I was hoping you’d stay the night, actually. I know you wanted some time to think things over, but maybe we could talk and…” I’m unable to finish the sentence.
“Right.” He rubs his hand across his mouth, and I fight down the urge to run away.
You need this man in your life—all of him—and you should do whatever it takes to make that happen.
“Are you sure this is a good idea, Lani? Given that I’m leaving in a few days and won’t be back for a while? Shouldn’t we wait until—”
“Does that mean you don’t want to?”
“No,” he says. “It means I’m worried about you.”
“I’m a big girl. I’ll be fine,” I say, knowing it’s true. “The question is: What about you?”
“To be honest, I’m not sure I can answer that.” He moves his gaze across my hair and face. “I know it’s time to move on—long past time to move on—but I can’t seem to let go of her.” He looks down. “When I’m tired, when I’m alone, when I’m in bed at night, I still see her, think about her, miss her.” Dark clouds move across his face. “And it hurts. Sometimes it hurts so much I don’t want to go on—”
“Shh. Don’t say that.”
He opens his mouth and then shuts it again. “I just want the pain to stop, Lani. And sometimes when I’m with you, it does. I know you deserve more than that, but it’s all I’ve got to offer right now.”
I stroke the side of his face, blinking back tears, and meet his gaze. “If it means you’ll stay tonight, I’ll take it.”
He smiles self-consciously. “Sorry, that wasn’t much of a pickup line, was it?” He turns his head, pressing his lips against my palm. “I guess I’m a little out of practice.”
I take his cane, lean it against the wall, and put my arms around him. “Your secret’s safe with me.”
Chapter 19
Diego: Drowning in Hope
I’m packing what few things I have when there’s a knock on the door.
“Come.”
I’m expecting Lani to stop by, so I’m caught off guard when a man walks through the door.
“Evening, Diego. Sorry it took me so long to stop by and introduce myself. Been spending more time in the air than on the ground lately.” A fit, sixty-something black guy strides across the room and offers me his hand. “Shannon’s been telling me all about you, but it’s great to finally meet you.”
“Matt?” I stare at him, mouth agape.
“At your service.” He waits for me to recover and then shakes my hand. “Actually, most people call me Madders. Shannon started calling me that when she was knee-high to a ladybug, as she likes to say, and it sort of stuck.”
“You’re Madders?” Words cannot convey how shocked I am to see him.
“Surprised you, did I?” He pulls up a chair. “Mind if we have a little chat? And I think you might want to sit down too.”
“Sure,” I say, feeling like I’ve seen a ghost. “Sorry. I was expecting Lani, and you look a lot like someone I used to know.”
He sets a shoebox down on the bed next to me. “So do you.” He studies my face. “Only your hair’s a lot longer. Which, by the way, looks good on you.”
“Uh, thanks. Who’s my look-alike with the crew cut?”
“James Nadales. He used to live down the street from me before everything went pear-shaped. I never heard of anyone else named Nadales, even before the shite hit the fan, and when Lani told me about you, I figured you must be related. His son maybe?”
I shake my head. “Who told you my last name was Nadales?”
“Lani, of course. She and I go way back, and she wouldn’t have broken your confidence unless she thought it was important.”
I shrug. “I guess she knows what she’s doing.”
“She’s convinced your arrival here wasn’t an accident, and she thought I should know the truth. But don’t worry, I won’t spill the beans on how you got here—and Lani hasn’t told anyone else, not even Shannon.”
“And you believed her?”
He chuckles. “Back before the pandemic, I was a research physicist. My team was looking into wormholes connected to singularities, and I knew people who thought black holes could be used as shortcuts across space-time. Seems they were right.”
We sit in silence for a minute, both of us staring at our hands.
“So tell me about James?”
“Be glad to, but I don’t remember much,” he says. “He disappeared before Doomsday hit. Bad times, those—chaos everywhere. Panicked people were trying to get Inside, and when they couldn’t, they tried to take down everyone else with them. It’s a wonder any of us survived.” He leans forward, his elbows on his thighs. “James is the English equivalent of Diego, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, but I’ve never used it myself. Do you know if James had a wife? Isabel maybe?”
