Lost time, p.5
Lost Time, page 5
“You could say that.”
“Mom and Miss Lucy think you should cut it.” I look up into his dreamy brown eyes. “But I like it long.”
He looks a bit embarrassed. “Thank you.”
“And Mom wants to know if you have any kids.”
He takes a drink of water. “You can tell her no, I don’t.”
I hop up and refill his water glass, happy to have something to do. “Well, I don’t want to sound pushy or anything, but I did find you, and I wanted to ask you before anyone else does.”
“Ask me what, Shannon?”
I sit on the very edge of the chair and lift my chest, just like Mindy says to do to show off my cleavage. “I was wondering if you’d consider signing my card.” I’m too nervous to meet his eyes, so I pretend to look out the window.
“Ah.” His tone is amused, and I jerk my head back in time to see his gaze leave my chest.
Obviously he thinks you’re too young and stupid to be good at inflating anything.
“Does that mean you’re carding me?” he asks.
I nod and flop back into the chair. “So what do you say?”
“I’m sorry, Shannon, but I’m not sure what that means. Lucy had mentioned something about it, but you arrived before she could explain everything.”
“Oh.” I try not to look disappointed. “Miss Lucy is way to old to have kids, and If she tried to card you, then it’s way worse than Mindy and I thought. Mom wouldn’t let me in until today, and I knew you’d be hot.”
“Well, no, actually, I’m not carded—or hot, for that matter. Lucy just mentioned it to me, but she didn’t get around to finishing.”
“It means you agree to mix your DNA with mine so I can have your babies. Once I’m twenty-one, of course, but Mom says I should wait until I’m twenty-five.”
He laughs, and my chest gets tight.
“What’s so funny?”
“I’m sorry, Shannon. It’s just that you surprised me.” He pats my leg. “But you should definitely wait until you’re twenty-five to have kids.”
I can barely breathe my heart is beating so fast. “But I’m allowed to practice once I turn eighteen, and my birthday’s only a couple months away.” I bite my lip and then remember that Mom told me not to do that. “You don’t have to sign my card right now—that’s only if you want to make a baby with me. But we could practice just for fun. Maybe I can help blow your boy parts back up.”
He gulps.
“Assuming you want me to,” I add, feeling a little light-headed.
“Wow,” he says. “Seventeen, going on eighteen. And you’re obviously smart and pretty.” He takes another bite of the hen and rice. “I’m very flattered, Shannon, and I’m sure, uh, practicing with you would be quite enjoyable.”
Yes!
“But, I’m way too old for you.”
I stand up. “You are not. Mom says you’re thirty-five, and that gives you ten more years to have sex.”
He looks up at me, the corner of his mouth twitching. “I’m closer to forty, actually, but that’s beside the point. You should practice with someone your own age.”
“That would be silly, Mr. C. The boys around here don’t know anything!” I cross my arms. “I know you think I’m just an inexperienced kid. But, I’m not. I’m top of my class in school, and I’m healthy and strong. And lots of guys have asked to sign my card—Jake Wilson did yesterday, and Tommy Mueller did last month and last week, and he’s twenty-six.”
“Wow.”
I pick up his lunch tray and set it on my chair. “And I’m going to be somebody someday. Mom doesn’t believe me, but I’m working on a project to fix the rebreathers so people can go Outside without biosuits.” I give him a defiant look. “And I also happen to know all about men. Just ask Mindy.”
He lifts his eyebrow again. “I’m sure you do, Shannon, and I bet there are lots of guys who would kill to practice with you, but I...” He exhales.
You’re losing him, Shaz. What would Mindy do?
I sit down on the edge of his bed and slide my hand up his thigh. “You don’t have to say yes right away.” I move my fingertips closer to his boy parts. “Maybe we could practice once, and if you don’t like it, then we could stop?” I gaze up into his face and bat my eyelashes again.
He swallows. “Uh, well, perhaps we should just start with being friends?”
I lift my shoulder and toss my hair just like Marilyn Monroe does. “Or I could, you know, do stuff for you until you get stronger.” I lick my top lip and move my hand closer to his boy parts.
Miss Lucy walks in the door carrying a stack of clean clothes, and I slip my hand back into my own lap. She glances at the clock. “Isn’t it time you skedaddled to class, Shannon?”
“Sure thing, Miss Lucy. And I love your hat.” She wears a different hat every day, and I know she’s a little vain about them.
“This ol’ thing? Lord, what I wouldn’t give to go hat shopping one last time before I die.” She tucks the clothes in a cabinet, her back to us. “I’ll return the tray for you, Shannon, but you best be getting off.”
I stare at Mr. C, trying to decide if I should do it.
Now or never.
I lean forward and kiss him hard on the mouth. He lets out a startled gasp, and I move my mouth next to his good ear. “Don’t worry,” I whisper. “We’ll get your penis re-inflated. Pinkie promise!” I hop off the bed.
“Pinkie promise?” His eyes are huge.
He definitely has the hots for me. I can tell.
He glances at Miss Lucy and then back at me, looking a bit disoriented. “Thanks for bringing me lunch, Shannon.”
“You’re welcome, Mr. C.” But as I’m bounding toward the door, I get this great idea. “Hey...”
He looks over at me, a goofy expression on his face—like he’s madly in love.
“Mindy’s mom Becky is having her birthday today, and a bunch of us are going to watch the movie Shrek to celebrate. We could bring it over here, if you like.” I bite my lip, hoping I’m not overstepping my bounds. “So you and Miss Lucy could watch, too.”
Miss Lucy brings her finger to her lips. “We’ll have to check with the doc about all those visitors, but I think it’s a wonderful idea. I bet we could even round up some popcorn. What do you say, Mr. C?”
He hesitates, and Miss Lucy gives him a Don’t be a party-pooper! look.
“Please?” I say, putting on my best pout.
He laughs. “Okay, okay. I can’t fight the both of you. I’d love to.”
“Woohoo!” I clap my hands together.
“Off you go now,” Miss Lucy says. “Your mother will skin us both if you’re late for class.”
“See you tonight, Mr. C!” I blow him a kiss and race off to tell Mindy everything.
Chapter 7
Lani: Playing With Dolls
I force myself to look at the mangled face in the mirror, my eyes tracing the grotesque flesh that runs from above my right ear, across my cheek and neck, down my torso to the point of my hip. The burn scars are raised and twisted, garish splotches of pink with gray tentacles radiating out from the scarred flesh, making me look like some rotting zombie.
He stared at me like I was some sort of freak.
Mirrors don’t lie. It’s a wonder he could stand to look at you at all.
If I close my eyes, I can still feel the heat burning my skin, hear the screams all around me, feel the sudden impact of the man who tackled me and smothered the flames with his own body.
“I never found out who he was,” I say out loud, watching the repulsive way my lips move when I speak, “But he must have d-d-died with the others.”
Thirty-eight years old and still talking like a kid caught stealing a candy bar.
I still have nightmares about that day, terrifying dreams where I stand frozen, watching my brother burn, the panicked crowd pressing in around me. Why did I hesitate? If I had acted quicker, I could have gotten to him in time.
I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, Sam.
I take out a small jar of burn cream made from my grandmother’s recipe. It’s nearly empty, and when it’s gone, there won’t be any more: The ingredients have become impossible to find, and just like everything else in this godforsaken biodome, when it’s empty or spent, we’ll learn to do without. I steel myself and then dab on the cold ointment, flinching as it comes in contact with my grotesque flesh. What a cruel joke of nature that skin so ugly can be so sensitive.
I take a slow breath and then continue with my routine, wishing my grandmother was here to comfort me now. When I was a child, she would comb and braid my hair every morning, telling me that I had the hands of a healer and the heart of a lion—and how certain she was that I would be a doctor someday.
You will never be a real doctor, Lani. You traded that for a ticket inside.
I slide my finger across the mutilated flesh on my cheek, haunted by the look of disgust in Miracle Man’s eyes when he saw my face. It was as if he could see right through me, see the lies and betrayal and shame.
Lani the fraud. Lani the freak. Lani the whore.
I shut off the light and get dressed in the waning dark, hating my own ugliness, but grateful for the distance my deformity affords me, the protection it provides. No man could ever fall in love with someone so hideous. No woman could ever hope otherwise.
Before I leave, I look in on Shannon, sound asleep in her jungle-themed bed. It’s still amazing to me that something so beautiful could come from such evil times, but I’m thankful she did. Shannon is the one true and good thing that has come of my life, and I would do anything to protect her.
Still, I dread the day when she hears something about her father and demands the truth.
What will you tell her? What will you tell him?
I tiptoe over to her bed and kiss her on the forehead. “That I love her more than life itself,” I whisper.
And nothing else matters.
She opens her eyes. “Bye, Mom. Have a good day. Love you.”
“Love you too, baby. See you this afternoon.”
I collect my things and start walking toward the radio building, yawning and wishing David hadn’t scheduled our meeting at the crack of dawn.
Probably knew I’d be half asleep and that it would make it easier to control things.
Ah yes, David Montelius Kirk, the master manipulator, the man who, twenty years ago, saved me and destroyed me with a single flick of his wrist.
You should be grateful he’s still willing to help you.
I glance at my watch and quicken my step.
Yeah, well, he won’t be if you’re not there when his call comes in.
I’ve been trying to reach him for weeks, because I need to ask him about the biodome repairs he was supposed to be working on. A section of the wall in sector four collapsed over a month ago, and people are worried, me included. If even a small leak develops, we’ll have to evacuate until it can be fixed, and we don’t have enough emergency masks for everyone.
I shudder, resisting the urge to go back and make sure Shannon takes hers to school.
She’s old enough to make good choices, Lani, and you need to start trusting her.
I force my attention back to the impending radio conference and let out a heavy sigh. At least I won’t have to worry about someone staring at my scars. Unfortunately, David’s sorry excuse for a wife will probably be there, demanding to know about the guy we found Outside and insisting to her husband that I’m incompetent.
Ka puka, I hope he keeps that bitch on a short leash.
Problem is, Miracle Man has told me absolutely nothing, and the irony of that is compelling: He’s a man who can’t remember his past, in a sea of people trying to forget theirs. I know he remembers more than he’s letting on, but the guy is an emotional wreck.
“What am I supposed to do, torture him?”
I don’t realize I’ve said it out loud until a D-1 tending the garden in the biodome park gives me a startled look. I smile at him, trying to recall his name but failing. “Figure of speech.” I look at him more carefully. “Do you have your mask with you?”
“Yes, Dr. Kai.” He pats the pouch on his belt and then goes back to his carrots.
I force myself to jog the last block and manage to get inside, sit down, and put the headset on just as the radio operator points his finger at me.
The instant the connection is made, David’s voice booms through. “So tell me about this guy you hauled in from Outside. Where did he come from?”
“He fell out of a tree, David. And good morning to you too.”
“A tree? How the hell did he climb up a tree with a biosuit on?”
“He was naked. Not a stitch on him. Didn’t you read the report I sent?”
“You expect me to believe that he was Outside without a suit, Lani? Seriously?”
Goddamn, I hate that condescending tone he always uses with me. “Do you think I’m a fucking idiot, David?”
Bella comes on straight away, her voice thin and screechy. “Don’t you speak to my husband in that tone of voice, young lady. And if you knew what was good for you, you’d show a bit more respect to the man who saved your juvenile delinquent ass.”
Ka Puka, I hate that bitch. Her so-called husband has spent his whole life sticking his dick into places it doesn’t belong, and she still kowtows to him like he’s Jesus H. Christ.
“Easy there, girls,” David says, his voice amused.
I bite back a retort and continue, “I watched them bring him in through the airlock, folks. He was unconscious and completely naked.” I release the button on the mic and resist the urge to kick something.
I can hear Bella’s annoyed huff. “I heard there was no serious damage to his head, but if he fell out of a tree, his face must have been pretty beat up. Are you sure no one would recognize him now?”
“Yes, Bella, I’m sure. I know every person in this okole puka of a biodome, and he’s not from here.”
“So where the fuck did he come from?” David asks. “He didn’t just appear out of thin air at the top of a goddamn pine tree.”
I shut my eyes and ask Pele for strength. “I don’t know. Salt Lake is the closest biodome—over a thousand kilometers and a mountain range away—and they’re not m-missing anyone. I checked. The guy doesn’t have a single c-callous on his feet, but if you want to contact the other bubs to see if some naked guy went Outside for a stroll and never came back, be my guest.”
“Is there anybody other than La-La-Lani we can get to look at this guy?” Bella asks. “If we could send a proper doctor out there, maybe we could find out what’s really going on.”
“Fuck you too, Bella.”
“Now, now, dolls,” David says, amusement in his voice. “That’s enough biting and scratching for today. Let me do some more checking on Tarzan and see what I can turn up.”
“Be my g-guest.” I force myself to continue. “So what about the repair parts you promised for the b-bio—”
“Hey, wait a second,” he says, as if he’s not even listening. “Remember that guy who claimed to have seen a campfire when he was out scavenging for meds a few years back? Told everyone he found some opened cans of beans and shit?”
“Yes, I remember,” Bella says. “I did some research on it. As many as one in five million people may have had some form of genetic immunity to Doomsday. Perhaps we finally found our lottery winner. Did it even occur to you to look into that, Miss Kai?”
“Of course it did,” You idiot. “I’m analyzing blood samples right now.”
“Genetic immunity?” David says. “Maybe we should bring him out to C-Bay.”
“Uh-huh,” Bella says. “As soon as possible. Let someone with the proper training and necessary experience get to the bottom of this.”
“Let me know when the taxi shows up,” I say. “And, David, darling, maybe you could toss in the blood analyzer repair parts you promised over a month ago?”
Bella ignores my innuendo. “But Miss Kai’s report said he was healthy, no signs of malnutrition or disease, not even dirt under his fingernails. Although she clearly didn’t put two and two together, it’s not the sort of thing you would expect from someone living Outside for the last twenty years—”
“Ka puka, Bella, it seemed obvious. He must have come from somewhere, and if he hasn’t been living Outside, there must be a hidden facility somewhere close to the Bub.”
“Deep Springs,” David says. “There were always rumors.”
“If he’s from some secret mutant colony,” Bella says, “why on earth would he be up a tree without any clothing on?”
“Christ, Bella.” David’s voice is laden with contempt. “Maybe he was just enjoying the view. I told you I’d look into it, so give it a rest.”
There’s an awkward moment of silence, and I feel a twinge of sympathy for his wife.
“Lani,” he says, “you work on jogging Tarzan’s memory. Slip him some truth serum or something.”
“Truth serum?” I exhale in disbelief. “Really, David?”
“Whatever,” he says. “I expect to have a full report next week. Over and—”
“W-wait!” I say, my hand gripping the microphone so tightly it’s cramping. “W-what about the structural problem w-we’re having? You told me w-weeks ago you’d l-look into it.”
Ka puka, Lani, stop giving her ammunition to ridicule you.
I close my eyes and force down the voices in my head. “If the w-west end of the bubble sags any more, it could p-pull the whole d-dome down with it. And we don’t have enough emergency masks for everyone.”
“Don’t get your panties in a wad, doc. I’ll figure something out.”
Bella huffs. “She’s not a real doctor, David. Stop calling her—”
