Shred of doubt, p.13
Shred of Doubt, page 13
“Why?”
“The ending! Two young people with their whole lives ahead of them, and what do they do? Bloody kill themselves. Suicide is never the answer.”
Hector swallowed softly and wondered if he’d seen him slip the sharp object into his shoe.
“Well luckily it’s only fiction.”
“Suicide is never the answer,” Jalen repeated before turning back to his comic book.
CHAPTER 21
Detective Bryan Myers hated listening to his own voice. It sounded like someone was trying to imitate him with the core purpose of making someone laugh; an audio equivalent of a caricature drawing. There were elements he could recognize, but otherwise it just made him cringe.
Bryan: Today is Sunday September 24th. The time is 3:30 p.m. I’m here with Jimmy Quinn. The boyfriend of the missing girl, Chelsea Thomson. For the record I’d like you to confirm your name and that you’re here voluntarily.
Jimmy: My name is Jimmy Quinn. I’m here voluntarily to help the police find my girlfriend.
Jimmy’s voice sounded different to the man Bryan just met. There was a certain uncertainty in it. His Irish accent seemed stronger, too.
Bryan: Thank you. So perhaps we can start with what you know. What happened two nights ago?
Jimmy: Of course. Well... we were at a party at West Yarmouth. Chelsea was feeling unwell, so we decided to leave early and walk along the beach for some fresh air.
Bryan: What time was this?
Jimmy: Around midnight.
Bryan: And which beach did you walk along?
Jimmy: Oh what’s the name of it again? Something with “ville” in it. It reminded me of “Smallville” where Superman—
Bryan: Craigville Beach?
Jimmy: Yeah. That’s it.
Bryan: Carry on.
Jimmy: It was a lovely night. Not too breezy. The moonlight was reflecting on the sea. It was very romantic. We found a little place in the dunes. We sat down and chilled out for a bit. She said that the fresh air was doing the world of good and she was already starting to feel a little better. I had a small bottle of mezcal with me. We took it in turns to drink from it.
Bryan: And this bottle of liqueur. You bought it yourself?
[Moment of silence]
Jimmy: No...um. No, I’m not yet 21 years old.
Bryan: So who bought it for you?
Jimmy: I asked a colleague of mine to purchase it for us.
Bryan: His name?
Jimmy: Will he be in trouble?
Bryan: That should be the least of your worries right now. It’s certainly the least of mine.
Jimmy: Hector Sims.
Bryan: And he works at the Bluestone Diner?
Jimmy: Yes. As a dishwasher and prep-cook. But I mean, if it’s any consolidation the legal age for drinking in Ireland is 18, so I—
Bryan: I don’t care about that. Your disrespect for a local law in a foreign country is not my concern right now. I’d advise you to adjust your attitude for future trips. Keep going. What else did you do at the beach?
Jimmy: So we just relaxed, chilled out… we snogged for a bit.
Bryan: Snogged?
Jimmy: Made out. You know… kissing and stuff.
Bryan: Right. Continue.
Jimmy: We watched the stars. We talked about different things.
Bryan: Like what?
Jimmy: I don’t know just stuff. [Silence] Like what we were going to do after the summer.
Bryan: And?
Jimmy: And what?
Bryan: What did Chelsea say she wanted to do?
Jimmy: Probably continue to work for a bit longer. She was saving up to go to night school. I think she wanted to do some paralegal course.
Bryan: You think?
Jimmy: She talked about a lot of things during the summer. I believe the latest was that she wanted to become a legal secretary.
Bryan: And you? What did you tell her?
Jimmy: That I had to return to Ireland to finish university.
Bryan: And how did she take that?
Jimmy: She wasn’t happy. I mean neither of us were, but we both knew that this was a summer thing. We’d keep in touch of course and see how the future panned out.
Bryan: Did she ever ask you to stay here?
Jimmy: Yes.
Bryan: And?
Jimmy: I said I couldn’t. I had to go back to university.
Bryan: Did you invite her to come with you?
Jimmy: To Ireland?
Bryan: Yes.
Jimmy: I don’t know.
Bryan: You don’t know? You either did or you didn’t.
Jimmy: No. I mean it didn’t make sense. We’re both only eighteen.
Bryan: What has age got to do with it? Love is love, right?
Jimmy: I don’t want to be tied down at this stage of my life.
Bryan: Did you tell her that?’
Jimmy: More or less.
Bryan: How did she take it?
Jimmy: She understood.
Bryan: Did you love her?
[Silence]
Jimmy: Yes.
Bryan: You had to think about it.
Jimmy: We met a couple of months ago. What do you want me to say? Yes, I think I loved her. I’m pretty sure I loved her, but since I’ve never been in love before, I hesitated. If you want something for your records, [tapping sound on the microphone of the recorder] yes, I loved her.
Bryan heard agitation in the younger Jimmy’s voice. His younger self continued.
Bryan: So what happened?
Jimmy: We continued chatting, lying next to each other. Drinking. Suddenly everything became very fuzzy. I remember at one stage I tried to stand up, but I just fell down again. We both laughed. I didn’t realize I could get so drunk so quickly. I mean, I had some drinks at the party but not a huge amount. Something just hit us kind of quick. I thought it was the drink.
Bryan: The mezcal.
Jimmy: Yes. I mean, I never drank that before.
[Silence – followed by a slurping noise as Jimmy drank something]
Jimmy: I remember she put her head on my chest and we just kind of dozed off.
Bryan: And you never woke up even once during the night?
Jimmy: No.
Bryan: What happened when you did finally wake up?
Jimmy: It was morning. Very early. The very first thing I remember, even before I opened my eyes was wet slobbering at my face. I opened my eyes and saw the snout of a black cocker spaniel. Such a friendly little dog. I patted him and he wagged his tail ferociously, delighted that he found something.
His owners caught up with him. They were an elderly couple. At first they were shocked at finding me lying there so early in the morning. Not as shocked as I was. I was so disorientated. I must have stared at them for a whole minute before the man touched me on the shoulder and asked me if I was alright. I nodded blankly. I realized suddenly I was very cold. Even though I was wearing a hoodie, I was shivering. Sitting up I looked around frantically but couldn’t see much from my angle. The couple themselves were blocking my view of the beach, and the long grass didn’t help.
I asked them if they saw a girl. They said no. I continued to look around me but saw no obvious sign of Chelsea.
Bryan: What time do you think that was?
Jimmy: Just after sunrise. 6 a.m. perhaps. I stood up but my head was still very dizzy. It was like the worst hangover ever, yet I hadn’t drunk that much.
I turned away and tried to puke but nothing came out. I had a thumbing headache. Although I was cold, I felt a film of sweat on my forehead. Thinking back now, it could have been the dog’s saliva. I sat down again. The couple asked if I needed an ambulance.
Bryan: And what did you say?
Jimmy: I’m not sure if I answered straight away. My thoughts were still on Chelsea and then for some bizarre reason I couldn’t help thinking about the cost of medical care here. Even though I’m insured, it was all I could think of. I told them I didn’t need an ambulance. When I spoke, my speech was slurred. It felt very strange, like I’d just received an anesthetic from the dentist.
Bryan: What then?
Jimmy: They were a very considerate couple. Maybe they heard in my accent that I wasn’t local and something was clearly wrong. They offered to drive me to the hospital. I decided to go with them. If I felt better by the time I got to the hospital, I could always change my mind. They dropped me off at the Emergency Department of Cape Cod Hospital. The woman got out of the car with me. She asked if I wanted her to go with me. I said they already did enough. I told her the name of the restaurant where I worked. If they ever wanted dinner there, it would be on me. She just smiled.
Bryan: Did you have to wait long at the hospital?
Jimmy: No. It was very quiet. The receptionist took one look at me and grabbed a doctor. I was still shivering. It turned out that I had a moderate case of hypothermia. They kept me overnight and took some blood and urine tests. They released me this morning.
[Rustling of paper]
Bryan: I had a look through the doctor’s report. They found the antihistamine diphenhydramine in your blood. That’s the main ingredient of sleeping pills. They found a lot.
[Silence]
Jimmy: I don’t understand. I didn’t take any that night.
Bryan: What do you mean that night? Is it something you’ve taken before? Sleeping pills?
Jimmy: I share a house with eight other Irish students. Some parties go on all night. It’s either sleeping pills or alcohol. Despite what some might think, I don’t drink every single night. I sometimes use sleeping pills.
Bryan: Where did you buy them? Did you bring them with you from Ireland?
Jimmy: I got them from… a colleague.
The sound of Jimmy’s voice became lower.
Bryan: Again, a colleague. Who was it this time?
Jimmy: The same person who bought us drink.
Bryan: This Hector Sims, was it?’
[Silence]
Bryan: For the record, the interviewee has nodded. He’s a busy guy, supplying you with drink and drugs. Anything else?
Jimmy: He didn’t… they weren’t any serious drugs. Just sleeping pills.
Bryan: And you don’t consider sleeping pills serious? Let me tell you more about what it says in this doctor’s report. The levels of diphenhydramine found in your blood were similar to the amounts found in patients who try to commit suicide.
[Silence]
Or in some cases who are successful in committing suicide.
Jimmy: I don’t understand. Are you trying to say that I wanted to kill myself?
Bryan: I’m not saying anything. I want you to tell me why you think there was so much diphenhydramine in your body. That was clearly the reason you just fell asleep and in your case slept the entire night.
Jimmy: I have no idea.
Bryan: What do you think happened to Chelsea?
Jimmy: I guess she woke up and went home.
Bryan: And left you there?
Jimmy: Well, what option did she have? She couldn’t carry me. Maybe she tried to wake me up and I was out for the count?
Bryan: So you think she just got up and left. She didn’t think of grabbing a cab and asking for help. Or even calling the police?
Jimmy: We’re underage. We didn’t want any trouble with the cops.
Bryan: There’s something you’re not telling me.
Jimmy: No, there isn’t.
Bryan: Did you have an argument?
Jimmy: No!
[Shuffling sounds of paper, followed by a cup being placed on the desk.]
Bryan: Okay. Here’s what I think happened. You both go to the beach. Each a little tipsy. The conversation leads to what’s going to happen after the summer. You’re determined to go back to Ireland. She’s upset. Maybe even a little troubled. She spikes your drink. Maybe it was just to scare you, who knows? Either way she sees it working and panics. She flees the scene.
Jimmy: No way! Are you suggesting that she tried to kill me? This is absurd!
Bryan: Jimmy. Between the temperature of that night, the alcohol and the sleeping pills, you are very lucky to be still alive. I believe somebody tried to kill you. You have to tell me everything, even if it’s personal or embarrassing. Trust me when I say: “We all have arguments.”
CHELSEA THOMSON
AUGUST 21, 1995.
– Diary Entry –
Jimmy’s place is constantly a mess; empty cans and bottles lying everywhere. Cigarette butts floating around in the bottles of stale beer. Or even cold beer that was left unsupervised for a minute or two. You would then hear a cry along the lines of: “Who the fuck put their cigarette butt in my beer!”
Their garbage disposal was malfunctioning recently. Jimmy told me when a guy came to fix it, he found a fork, a clump of hair, cigarette butts, bottle tops, and a tampon. Thankfully the tampon was unused but still, how did it get there and why?
I’m surprised they don’t have more cockroaches than they do. Maybe they stay hidden away until the parties are over and then sneak out during the night?
Each room contains mattresses on the floors. Except for Jimmy’s “room,” if you can call it that. Honestly I think it’s just a walk-in closet.
He shares the space with another guy, Lorcan, and guess what they sleep in? A bunk bed. You’ve read it correctly Future Me: A fucking bunk bed.
He has the top bunk. Lucky me. Seriously, Bert and Ernie have more privacy than these guys.
Anyway as I’m always up for new experiences, we decided to give it a shot. We were making out in one of the corners of the living room downstairs when he took me by the hand and we walked up stairs for some “privacy.”
All I can say is that there’s nothing in the world that dampens a sexy mood more than climbing into the top bunk of a bunkbed. To make it worse the ceiling is low and at a slant. Yes, I hit my head on it as I pulled myself onto the bed.
“Are you okay?” Jimmy asked as he pulled himself up after me. An unhealthy creaking sound resonated from the bed that did nothing to help.
“I’m marvelous,” I lied. ”Is this thing safe? I mean it’s built for one person, right? Probably a child.”
“It’s fine, honey. Lorcan isn’t there anyway.” Lorcan slept in the bottom bunk.
“If it does collapse, at least we won’t kill anyone,” he added.
“Great. That really makes me feel better.”
We continued to make out. I have to hand it to him; it still felt really good. I felt his hand move downwards and under my skirt. We continued to kiss. It became more passionate.
We undressed ourselves. Quickly. The “Lorcan Timer” was on. We had no idea where he was and when he’d be back.
Once we were naked, we continued kissing and exploring each other’s body. We were both getting so horny. He whispered, “I think I’m out of condoms. Did you bring any with you?”
“They’re in my handbag.”
“Where’s your handbag?”
“On the floor.” I caught his arm as he was about to move. “But we can try without them. I mean, you can pull-out.”
Shaking his head he protested, “That’s too risky. You do realize that there’s sperm in pre-cum, too.”
Damn, why does he get so nerdy during times like this?
“Yes, but what are the chances? Seriously.”
“And what about STDs?”
“So you think I’m riddled with diseases?”
“No, of course not. But I might be.”
“A good Catholic boy like you? I doubt it.”
“Well, I don’t trust myself.”
He sat up, banged his head and awkwardly climbed down again. Somehow the bunk ladder was not clicked in properly and it fell to the side. Jimmy hopped off it in time before it hit the wall with a smash.
I glanced over the edge of the bed and saw his naked silhouette with a now semi hard-on, examine the damage.
“Jaysus! Is this house made from chalk?” he wondered, as he pulled the ladder upright and examined the hole in the wall. The deposit they’d paid at the start of the summer was long gone.
“Seriously,” he continued, “Did the three little pigs make these houses? I’ve never come across such flimsy walls!”
A fit of giggles washed over me. I grabbed a pillow and covered my face so he wouldn’t hear me. All I could hear was a muffled, “It wouldn’t take long for the big bad wolf to huff and puff this pile of shite…”
I removed the pillow and glanced down again and saw him rummaging in my bag on the floor.
“They’re in the side pocket.”
“Oh right.”
I lay back down and heard him say, “I have one!”
His head popped up again. “I’ll wait a while, I think. The near death experience didn’t do anything for my manhood.”
“Your manhood?”
“The little fella,” he clarified through clenched teeth as he climbed back in, clutching the unopened condom in his teeth.
He was referring to his cock.
Collapsing next to me he asked, “Now. Where were we?”
I took the condom and placed it beneath the pillow. “Okay, let’s just keep it here then for an emergency.”
“What if the tooth-fairy visits? She’ll be very very confused.”
The fit of giggles returned with a vengeance and I just slapped him softly on his arm. “Can you take anything seriously?”
“Not really.”
“Why can’t I feel you inside of me? I’m on the pill.”
“I don’t want to get into that. I just don’t want to take the risk.”
We continued from where we left off. It didn’t take long before the “little fella” transformed into the “big fella”. He pulled the condom from beneath the pillow and slipped it on. When I say “slipped it on,” it probably paints a picture of a smooth and effortless process. It wasn’t.
“Jesus Christ, these always get stuck halfway down. I don’t even know if it’s inside out or not,” he mumbled as he pulled it over his manhood. It didn’t worry me for obvious reasons but eventually he managed it.
It felt good to feel him inside despite the latex barrier. The bunk bed shook as we went at it and I heard the ladder crash to the ground again.
