The rebel doctors secret.., p.11
The Rebel Doctor's Secret Child, page 11
She turned off the water and dried her hands. “I don’t know how this is going to work out. If you aren’t Ally’s father, I will have to decide if I want to pursue finding out who is. I’ll be honest. I don’t think that’s something I’m going to do. At least, not until she’s older.”
“But is that fair to Ally or to her father?” Knox asked.
Bree headed to the small sitting area where she had left her computer. “I don’t know. I didn’t have a choice in telling you. Not with the information I had from Brittany. And not now after I got to know that you aren’t the person I thought you were. I told you about Ally as much for her sake as for yours. I promised that I would be truthful to her, and keeping this from her isn’t the right thing for me to do.”
She opened the laptop and began to sign in to her email account. “But I’ll be honest. If you had wanted to walk away after I told you about Ally, I would have been okay with that.”
He looked at her and she could already feel the crack forming on her heart. Because she knew the man Knox was now. He wouldn’t walk away no matter how much more simple it would make both their lives.
“Open the email, Bree. I’m not going anywhere.”
* * *
Knox sat down beside Bree as she opened the email from the lab. This was it. His life could change forever at this moment. Looking over at Bree, he had to admit to himself that his life had already changed. Bree had opened up the possibility of a new world to him. One that he hadn’t known he wanted. Already he was trying to figure out how he was going to fit a little girl into his life as a traveling doctor, always moving from town to town. And every time he pictured his new life with Ally, Bree was always there, too. Right beside him. And that was just one more thing that scared him. He knew she was scared. She’d raised Ally alone for eight years and now he was there threatening the life she’d made for them.
“Okay, here it is,” Bree said as she hovered over the results, her finger hesitating before tapping it.
As the email opened, Bree reached for his hand, the connection to her soothing in a way he couldn’t explain. She had made it sound like the two of them were adversaries, but still, she wanted him beside her. He tightened his grip, hoping to give back some of the comfort she so readily gave to him.
They read the email silently, but together. When they had both finished, Bree shut the laptop, then turned to him. “My sister might have had a lot of faults, but lying wasn’t one of them.”
Knox just nodded his head. He was so full of emotions that he couldn’t speak. He had a daughter.
The sound of little bare feet slapping against the wooden floors seemed to be the only sound in the house. Bree let go of his hand and moved away just moments before Ally ran into the room, her damp hair flying around her face. She dropped down on the couch between him and Bree, the smile on her face disappearing as she looked between the two of them. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong,” Bree said, before looking at Knox. “It’s just as it should be.”
The words struck Knox like a battering ram, opening his eyes to what was really there before him. Ally was his daughter. His daughter. Wow. His mother was going to need sedatives when she got the news.
And when was he going to tell her? It wasn’t right not to share the news, but didn’t Ally need to be told first? And how were they going to tell Ally? Because it had to be both of them telling her. That, he knew.
“Why don’t you tell Knox good-night and go get your book out for us to read?”
“Can Dr. Knox read the book with me?” Ally asked, looking from her aunt to him. His chest was suddenly tight as emotions he’d never felt before began to surface. His little girl wanted him to read to her? Was it possible that she felt the connection between the two of them without being told? Was that even possible? The two of them had gotten along well since the moment Bree had introduced the two of them. Knox didn’t know everything about Bree’s life before they started working at the clinic together, but wasn’t it more likely that Ally just hadn’t had many men in her life? Bree was very focused on Ally and her career. It could be that like him, she hadn’t had time for a serious romantic involvement, and having a man at their home was just something different.
“If he’d like to do that, it’s fine with me,” Bree told her niece before looking over at him.
Knox didn’t miss the pool of tears that were forming in her eyes. While he’d been there processing what being Ally’s father meant for him and his family, what had Bree been feeling?
“Please?” Ally asked, hopping up and down on the seat next to him.
This was the first thing his daughter had asked of him. Looking into Ally’s brilliant green eyes that reminded him so much of Bree’s, he knew he couldn’t disappoint her. “Sure, but you might have to help me with the big words.”
“I can read most of them, but Aunt Bree has to help me sometimes. She can help you, too,” Ally said, her face all serious with not a hint of a smile.
“I think the two of you will be fine without me,” Bree said, giving her niece a watery smile. “And I’ve got some work to do on my computer before I go to bed.”
Knox gave Bree a smile, unsure what else to do as Ally took his hand and began to pull him down the hall to her room. He and Bree had a lot to talk about, but it would all have to wait until Ally went to sleep.
A half an hour later, after reading a total of four pages before Ally had fallen asleep, he returned to the living room only to find her aunt with her own eyes closed, her hands resting on the keys of her laptop. Carefully, he removed the laptop before taking the seat next to her. Bree shifted and her head came to rest on his shoulder. But instead of waking, she seemed to settle into sleep even deeper, her lips curving into an innocent smile, so much like his daughter’s.
Like his daughter’s. Wasn’t it weird how that thought seemed to come so easily now? An hour ago the thought of having a child was something foreign and frightening. Now it just felt...right.
Bree’s eyes blinked open and she looked around the room, slowly sitting up. “Ally?”
“She was asleep before the wizard had his first dance at the ball,” Knox said, staring down into Bree’s sleep-drugged eyes.
“She’ll be disappointed in the morning. It’s one of her favorite scenes,” she said, stretching and moving away from him. “Thank you for doing that.”
“Thank you for letting me,” he said. “Thank you for everything. I don’t know how I can ever repay you for taking care of Ally all these years. I don’t want to think about what might have happened to her if you hadn’t been there for her.”
When Bree stiffened beside him, he realized he had said the wrong thing. “I don’t mean to insult you. I know she’s your niece and you’ve taken care of her because you love her.”
“She’s not just my niece, Knox. She’s my child in every way except that I didn’t give birth to her. We’re all the family the two of us have had. Until now,” Bree said as she moved away from him, then let out a deep sigh. “I know we have a lot to discuss, but I think it would be best to wait until another day. We’re both tired and there’s a lot for both of us to take in now that we both know the truth.”
“Bree, I don’t want to make this hard on you,” Knox started, then stopped. Of course this was hard on Bree. That test had changed her life, too. But not all change was bad. In his way of seeing things, this could be a good thing for both of them. He just had to give her time to see that.
Pulling her feet up onto the couch and curling into a protective ball, she looked so small and defenseless. He tried to think of something to say. It was as if all the tension that had existed between the two of them before they had begun to work together had suddenly resurfaced. They’d come so far and now it was more important than ever that they got along.
But she was right, it was late and they were both expected at the clinic the next day. Standing, he looked down at her. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow,” Bree said, nodding her head. “We can both talk tomorrow.”
CHAPTER NINE
WHILE KNOX TRIED to catch Bree between patients the next day, they were both busy from the start of the day until Lucretia put the closed sign out on the office door. Bree had mentioned earlier in the week that there were only a few days left before school was out for the summer break. He expected things would be hectic till then, but he wanted to discuss when, and how, they were going to let Ally know that he was her father. It was the how that worried him the most. He wasn’t equipped for a “how I met your mother” type of conversation with an eight-year-old.
He’d just finished seeing his last patient of the day when Bree stepped out from the exam room with her own patient. He waited while she handed the patient a prescription along with some samples before he joined her.
“And this is Dr. Collins,” Bree said, introducing him to a young woman who looked to be about Bree’s age. “This is Kelly. She’s just moved to town and needed a refill on her birth control until she can get set up with a primary doctor.”
“It’s so great that this clinic is open for walk-ins. There’s nothing like this where I’m from and my insurance doesn’t start for another two weeks. I’ve got three little ones at home. I didn’t want to take a chance on adding to that number.”
While Bree and Kelly discussed things from potty training to the best time to change from a bottle to a cup, Knox listened. He’d missed both of those steps with Ally. He’d missed all the firsts. First steps. First words. Even the first day of school. He couldn’t blame Bree for any of that; she had only been looking out for his daughter. But still, he wished he’d been there. He was sure Bree would be glad to share baby pictures, but it wasn’t the same as being there. He’d just have to make a point of being there for all the other things, though how was he going to do that? He’d spent the past few years traveling from clinic to clinic. He and Bree had a lot of things to discuss.
“Well, that’s the last one,” Lucretia said, locking the door behind Bree’s patient. “I think we might have set a record today. I know Dr. Reynolds will be impressed when he returns and sees the numbers. We’ve been able to see almost twice as many patients since you brought Bree here. Maybe he’ll be able to get some other midwives in to help.”
Knox had kept Dean Reynolds up-to-date with the running of the clinic through regular text messages and when he’d mentioned bringing a midwife resident in, the other doctor had thought it a great idea. Neither of them had expected it to be this successful. Knox had especially been concerned after the way Bree had initially reacted to Dr. Warner’s suggestion that she spend time at the clinic.
* * *
“I’ll mention it to my preceptor and my nurse counselor at the college,” Bree said. “I’ve enjoyed the work here and I’ve gotten a lot of experience I wouldn’t have gotten otherwise. I’m sure there are more midwives that would be interested.”
“I don’t guess I can talk you into staying,” Lucretia said.
“I don’t know what I’ll be doing once I finish my residency. But if I’m in Nashville, I’ll certainly try to volunteer a couple times a month,” Bree said. The alarm on her watch went off, and she slid the straps of her backpack on. She was about to make her escape before they had a chance to talk.
“Do you have a moment to discuss...a few things?” Knox asked, aware that Lucretia would overhear anything that he said to Bree.
“I’m sorry, but Ally’s class is having an art exhibit this afternoon at the school and I promised I would be there.”
Knox was surprised at the hurt her words caused. Shouldn’t he have been invited now that Bree knew for certain that he was Ally’s father? He decided then and there that he wasn’t going to miss another day of his daughter’s life. “I’d love to see Ally’s artwork. We can talk on the way there.”
While Bree hesitated, Knox headed for the door. The hurt he felt from not being invited was turning into anger, something that was very rare for him. He fought against it as they exited the building as neither of them said a word. Bree’s car door had barely shut when he let go of the words he had been holding back. “Why didn’t you tell me Ally had something going on at school? I thought I made it clear that I wanted to be a part of her life.”
“It’s just a bunch of pictures drawn by a class of eight-year-olds. I didn’t think you would be interested,” Bree said, her eyes fixed on the windshield in front of her as she started the car.
“But it’s my eight-year-old’s pictures,” Knox said, then realized he sounded like an eight-year-old himself.
Bree looked over at him then; her bright green eyes held none of the sparkle he was used to. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think about inviting you. Like I said, it’s just a bunch of pictures that they’ve drawn throughout the year.”
“Is it a big deal to Ally?” Knox asked, knowing the answer. “I remember all the school activities that my parents missed while they were out touring. I remember the disappointment of not having anyone there for me.”
“Ally isn’t you, Knox. I’ve been to almost every activity she’s had at school for the last three years.” She looked at her watch, then turned off the car. “I realize this has all been a shock to you. We both have a lot to process. I promise that I’ll be better at communicating with you while we work things out, but you using words like my daughter isn’t going to help. Ally is mine, too.”
“Of course, Ally is yours, too,” Knox said, his hands instinctively running through his hair. He was messing all of this up with Bree. He didn’t want things to be this way. Not for Ally. And not for him and Bree, either. They both wanted what was best for Ally. They needed to be united or this could turn into one of those ugly battles adults get into over their children.
And maybe that meant giving them both some time to come to terms with what this new reality would mean for the two of them was a good idea. “I’ll admit that finding out Ally is my daughter has brought up some old feelings I probably need to deal with. I know you’ve been there for Ally and I shouldn’t compare my childhood to hers.”
“How about, for now, I promise to include you in Ally’s life while we sort out things between the two of us?” Bree asked. “We can enjoy today and then I think we need to deal with things between the two of us before we move forward with telling Ally anything.”
“I can live with that. I think seeing us together more would be good for Ally, too. It would give her more security when we tell her about me being her father. Get her used to me being around on a regular basis. Does that work for you?” He wanted to move forward with telling Ally about him, but he understood that he and Bree had to do it together. He’d have to be patient.
And he’d enjoyed spending time with Bree and Ally before he’d even known about the possibility of being Ally’s father. Now spending time with them would mean even more. He also hoped that working out things between them would also include more kisses like the one they had shared at the ranch. He had to believe that her response to him that day meant she had felt the same magnetic pull that he had felt almost from the moment he’d met her. That wasn’t magically going to go away just because of the results of the paternity test.
“I can work with that,” Bree said, restarting the car. “The most important thing is for us to make this as easy on Ally as possible. That means both of us taking into consideration what is best for her in whatever decisions we make.”
Was she unknowingly answering Knox’s thoughts about her words and the situation that they were both in now? Was that her way of telling him that they needed to ignore what had been building between them? If so, he would have to make it a point to change her mind. Because just like things would never go back to the way they were before he learned he was Ally’s father, he didn’t want things to go back to the way they had been before he had found Bree.
* * *
Bree watched Knox as he went from picture to picture with Ally pulling him down the line of drawings that had been hung on her classroom walls. He smiled and commented on each picture as if it were hanging in a New York City museum. It should have surprised her, and it would have two months ago when she had thought of him as a spoiled rich kid who had gone through life ruining young girls’ lives, just like she had imagined that he had done to Brittany. But now that she knew him? No, it didn’t surprise her at all. What did surprise her was the way her heart hammered every time he turned to look at her and gave her that wicked smile of his that sent shivers running up her spine and heat settling in places where it shouldn’t be. How could she have such a response to a man whom she’d given the power to take away the child she’d raised? Shouldn’t her heart see the danger it was in? Well, maybe her heart did, but her body wasn’t listening to anything it had to say.
“Look, look! Those are my pictures there,” Ally said, dragging Knox down to where her pictures hung. Bree recognized one of them as being the picture her niece had drawn of her family. “That’s a picture of me and Aunt Bree in front of our house. And this is a picture of my mommy in heaven. My teacher helped me draw it because my friends asked me why I didn’t have a mommy or daddy and I didn’t know what to say.”
Bree pushed back against the pain of seeing an eight-year-old’s idea of what her mother would look like as an angel. Sometimes she felt very inadequate in filling her sister’s place as Ally’s mom. It was something she had dealt with from the first moment she’d held Ally in her arms. Mostly, she had learned to ignore the feeling that she wasn’t enough. It wasn’t that she wanted to replace her sister. There would always be a place in both Ally’s and Bree’s hearts for Brittany. But looking at the picture of a stick figure woman with hair the color of Bree’s and eyes that matched hers, too, Bree could feel the loss Ally felt and she had never known how to fill it.
