The rebel doctors secret.., p.9
The Rebel Doctor's Secret Child, page 9
Opening the basket, Knox pulled out sandwiches and drinks, laying them between them, along with some fruit. Her stomach was queasy, but she forced herself to unwrap a sandwich and take a bite. She wasn’t sure if her stomach was reacting to her nerves about what she was about to do or if it was because of the kiss they’d just shared.
They ate in silence as they both looked out across the water. A fish hit the top of the water startling Bree and causing her to jump and let out a nervous laugh. The hollowness of it seemed to echo across the lake.
“I don’t know where to start. I know I should start at the beginning, but I can’t say I even know where this all began. Maybe you can help me with that.”
“I’d be glad to help you if I can,” Knox said, turning toward her, laying his sandwich down. “Maybe if you tell me what’s wrong, the two of us can fix it.”
Bree looked at him sitting there beside her. He was so calm. So reassuring. It was hard to believe he was the same man that her sister had been so adamant that he wouldn’t be good for her child.
Bree had made such a big mistake all those years ago, not giving him a chance to prove that he would be a good father.
“I’m going to tell you everything I know, and then maybe you can help fill in some of the blanks for me. You see, before my sister died, I hadn’t heard from her in over eighteen months even though we lived in the same city.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Families can be so complicated,” Knox said. “But I don’t know where I come in.”
“I know you don’t. And that’s my fault, not yours. I should have told you this months ago.” She looked away from him then, seeking the calm she’d felt from their surroundings earlier, but it didn’t come. Maybe she didn’t deserve it. Maybe she deserved all the sleepless nights, and guilty nerves she’d suffered for the past few weeks. “No. That’s not right. I should have told you this years ago. But I didn’t know you then. And I’d made a promise I didn’t think I could break.”
When Knox started to interrupt her, she rested a hand on his chest. “Do you even remember my sister?”
* * *
Knox stared at Bree. She was talking in circles, making it impossible to figure out what it was that she was trying to tell him. Her sister? Why would he remember her sister?
“She had dyed her hair, it was more red than blond the last time I saw her, but she would still have had my eyes. She still went by her first name, Brittany. But she had changed her last name to Moore. She didn’t want people to remember her from our childhood performance.”
The name was vaguely familiar, but why? Then it hit him. “She was working at one of the recording studios as a backup singer. I remember her. She hung out with some of the music crowd I knew. I didn’t know her that well...” A memory surfaced then. Red hair. Beautifully haunting green eyes. It was the night he and Thad had been out partying. She had been with the group of his parents’ band members whom Knox had stayed back with when Thad had left the bar. As it always did, thoughts of Thad brought back all his old grief and guilt. He talked a good talk with Bree about grieving, but he was still struggling himself with the loss of his friend.
And the girl? He remembered meeting her at the bar that night, and then the two of them sharing a car ride. Later, at his place, they had shared more. Was that what this was all about? Did Bree know that her sister had spent the night with him? “She went by Britt,” he said. “I guess like the way you go by Bree, instead of Brianna.”
“She did go by Britt, sometimes. It was usually only with people she was close to, though,” Bree said, her eyes looking at him expectantly, like he had the answer to a question he didn’t know.
Or was she just waiting for him to admit that he had slept with her sister? His life then had been so different. He’d lived it one day at a time, never thinking about the consequences. That is, until the night Thad was killed.
“I don’t know what your sister told you, but back then, when I met your sister, I wasn’t the same person I am now. I was young and reckless. There are a lot of things I wish I had done differently then. I’m sorry if the night I spent with your sister upsets you. It’s not something I’m proud of.” Revisiting that night was a nightmare. He and Thad had started partying early that day and hadn’t had the good sense to stop. If it hadn’t been for who his parents were, he was sure the bars would have thrown them out on the streets.
But then, if his parents hadn’t been who they were, he might not have acted out the way he had. It hadn’t been until he reached rock bottom that he and his parents had realized how unhealthy their relationship had become. Thank goodness they’d been able to work things out then, before there was any more damage to their relationship.
But that night had been before he’d come to his senses. He could barely remember the girl he now knew as Bree’s sister, offering to get him home. It wasn’t until that morning when he’d received the call that Thad was in the hospital with little hope of surviving, that Knox had finally sobered up. He’d left Bree’s sister in his bed without an explanation and hadn’t returned until the next night. He was ashamed to say that he hadn’t given Brittany another thought, until now.
It was like all his sins were coming back to revisit him when he looked over at Bree. How did he tell her that he’d known her sister, but all she’d meant to him was one night of drunken pleasure?
“I don’t know what your sister told you about me. I can tell you that I’m not the man I was then and I’m ashamed of the way I acted that night. I wish I could say that there weren’t any more women like her, one-night stands with women I barely knew, but I can’t. I can use my youth as an excuse, but I don’t want to make excuses. I learned the hard way that you have to take responsibility for your actions and face the consequences. I did that many years ago, but sometimes those consequences last for years.”
“I don’t understand. Are you saying that Brittany was just a one-night stand? Because that isn’t how she acted. She acted like the two of you had been together and it had ended badly. I took it to mean that the two of you were involved.”
Knox looked over at Bree. Her face was pale, her pupils almost pinpoint. She looked as if she was in shock as she stared at him. Gone was the warmth he was used to seeing in her eyes. She looked like she’d seen a ghost. The ghost of her sister? Because right then he felt like Brittany was standing there between the two of them.
How did he fix this without making it look like he was calling her sister a liar? Had he said something that would have made Brittany think that there was more between the two of them? How could that even be possible when he’d never seen her again?
After Thad’s death, he’d applied himself to finishing his exams. And when the guilt and depression from Thad’s death had threatened to send him back into his bad ways, he’d checked himself into a rehab. He’d cut all ties then, only taking calls from his parents until he’d found the help he needed to get his life onto a path he was proud of.
“I’m sorry, Bree. I don’t want to hurt you or suggest that Brittany wasn’t truthful, but the only thing that me and Brittany shared was one night together. That was all.”
Knox started to gather the leftover meal wrappers. This was not the way he had planned for the two of them to end the day. When Bree’s hand closed over his as he reached for the last of their mostly uneaten meal, he looked up at her, expecting to see anger, disgust, or the coolness she’d treated him to the first months they’d worked together.
But there was none of those things. Instead, there was sorrow and regret. “But that wasn’t all you shared, Knox. The two of you shared Ally.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
THERE WAS NO laughing on their ride back to the ranch house, as Knox shot off question after question at her. Bree couldn’t blame him for the anger she could see brewing in his eyes.
“How is that possible?” he asked, then shook his head when she didn’t answer. He was an OB/GYN; he knew how pregnancy happened as well as she did.
“Okay, let’s say I am Ally’s father. Why wouldn’t Brittany have told me?” he asked, then answered the question himself before she could answer. “She would have found out about the pregnancy when I was away in rehab. I didn’t have my phone with me. Only my parents knew how to contact me. But after? When Ally was born? I would have been out then. She should have called then.”
“I told you I had a lot of blanks I needed you to fill in. I only talked to her the once in eighteen months. She hadn’t told me anything about the pregnancy. I don’t have any proof of this, but I’ve always thought that she might have been considering giving up Ally. Maybe that’s why she didn’t tell either of us? Maybe it wasn’t until Ally was born that she decided to keep her. We’ve both seen that happen before.”
Knox swerved around a rock in the middle of the path, causing Bree to grip the over-the-head handle even tighter.
“Maybe we should stop.” He’d been driving full throttle since he’d insisted that they get back to the ranch as soon as possible. He was upset. Shocked. But so was she.
Learning that her assumption that Brittany and Knox had been involved in a relationship was wrong changed everything. What if Ally wasn’t even Knox’s child? She hadn’t been able to say those words out loud, but he had to be thinking them, too.
Was it possible? Could it be that Brittany had made that part of her story up, too? The answer to that question tore Bree in two. On one hand, if Knox wasn’t Ally’s father, Bree could let go of the guilt she’d felt at assuming that he wasn’t fit to be. And if Knox wasn’t Ally’s father, she wouldn’t have to worry about losing Ally. On the other hand, that would mean that there was another man out there who could someday challenge Bree for her niece. A man who wouldn’t be as kind and caring as Knox. A man who might not be good for her niece.
Being honest with herself, Bree knew that Ally having Knox for a father would be good for her. And she had to admit that it would be best if her niece’s paternity was settled sooner instead of later.
Knox stopped the cart, but he didn’t look at her. “We need a plan. We can’t tell my mother this. And I know we can both agree that we can’t tell Ally until we know for sure that I’m her father. There’s places in Nashville that can run a paternity test in a day. We need to get that done first.” He turned his head to her, his eyes somber now. “And then we need to have a long talk, no matter what the results.”
The rest of their time at the ranch seemed to fly by as Knox did everything but rush them out to his truck. She started to stop him and ask if he thought she was going to just blurt out the news that Ally was his child to his mother or if he just couldn’t stand to be around her anymore, but she was afraid to hear his answer.
He was angry and confused. She got that. She was, too. Just like him, she wanted to know the truth about her niece.
And she was also afraid. Only this time it wasn’t the fear that she’d spoken to Lucretia about, the fear of losing Ally. This was a new fear. Something she was ashamed to admit because it was so selfish of her. What right did she have to fear that what she and Knox had begun to feel for each other had been destroyed when he was now faced with the fact that he had trusted her and she had betrayed him by not sharing Brittany’s secret with him?
By the time Knox dropped her and Ally off at their home, Bree had come to accept that there was little hope that Knox would forgive her, even if Ally wasn’t his child. There had to be trust in any relationship, especially one as new as theirs. She could try to make excuses for her actions all day long, but the man who’d driven them home without even looking at her once was not going to listen to them. And she couldn’t blame him.
* * *
The new week started off with a stop by a local lab where Bree could pick up a DNA paternity test. She had asked Knox to let her explain to Ally, but Bree still didn’t know how to do that. While Bree believed in being truthful, she didn’t think her niece was old enough to understand DNA or what it was used for. She’d finally decided in the middle of the night that it was best, for now, to just tell Ally it was a test she needed.
The rest of the day had gone by quickly with Bree and Lori attending two deliveries, one of which Bree was primary. The good thing about being busy was that it didn’t give her a lot of time to think about her own problems. She’d only seen Knox once in the clinic hallway, but they’d both been too busy to stop and talk.
It wasn’t until the next day, after she’d carefully swabbed Ally’s cheek then dropped her off at school, that Bree had time to worry about the outcome of the paternity test. When she walked into the county clinic, she went straight to the back office and took the safely packaged test from her backpack. Knowing she could trust Lucretia not to snoop, she put the test in a paper bag and added a note to let Knox know it was for him.
A few minutes later, Knox stopped by Lucretia’s desk where she and Bree were discussing supply list changes. After nodding his head toward the exam rooms, Bree followed him. He handed her the paper bag that contained the test, and she slipped it into her pocket. She couldn’t help but smile at the way they were treating this.
“I feel like I should have a hat and fake mustache. Maybe a trench coat, too,” Bree said, hoping that she could lighten up the situation.
“I’d like to see you in a trench coat,” Knox said, surprising Bree with the teasing comeback before turning serious again. “How did it go with Ally? She ask anything about the test?”
“Not at all. I admit I was surprised. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say if she asked me what the test was for. I’ve always been honest with her about everything, but sometimes you can’t tell someone everything you want to. Sometimes things are more complicated than the simple truth.”
“If you are talking about your not telling me about Ally, I know there were reasons you didn’t tell me. You made a promise to your sister, and then she passed away. But I don’t understand how, after you met me, after you saw that I wasn’t a bad person, you didn’t tell me then. Why, Bree? Didn’t you think I deserved to know if Ally was my child?”
How could she make him understand the weight of her sister’s secret that she had carried for years? How could she expect him to forgive her for not telling him? “It was the last thing I told her, Knox. The last thing I said to my sister. I promised her that I wouldn’t tell anyone about who was Ally’s father.”
She walked the length of the small exam room, then turned and started back to him. “Until this weekend I had never broken that promise. I had held my sister’s secret deep inside and never dreamed of telling anyone the truth about Ally. Until I met you. And though I’m not proud of it, if you had been the type of man Brittany had accused you of being, I wouldn’t have told you then. The only person I had ever considered telling Brittany’s secret to was Ally when she got old enough to make her own decisions about the information her mother had given me.”
“So, what? When she was eighteen or nineteen, she’d have suddenly showed up on my doorstep? Would that have been fair to either of us?” Knox asked, coming to stand in the path where she had been pacing the floor.
“Nothing about this situation is fair to any of us,” Bree said, stopping in front of him. “It wasn’t fair that Brittany was killed in an accident before she had the chance to raise her child. Who knows? Maybe once she had Ally at home, she would have changed her mind. But we’ll never know that, will we?”
“You’re right,” Knox said, running his hands through his hair where it had fallen down in front of his face. “This hasn’t been fair for anyone.”
Bree heard a door shut and then Lucretia talking to someone who would be their first patient of the day. Holding the brown paper bag up in front of her, she nodded at Knox. “But at least with this we will have the truth.”
Because until they found out if Knox was really Ally’s father, there was no way for them to move forward.
Bree rushed back to put the test in her backpack before following Knox to the front of the office to greet their patient. By the time Bree got there, other patients had begun to file into the waiting room. The little office was soon full again, as it had been every day that Bree had been there. While Bree was glad to be busy, she hated that there were so many women who couldn’t afford to get care. They provided what they could, but it wasn’t the same.
For her last appointment of the day, Lucretia brought back a woman in her midthirties, along with an elderly woman whose eyes darted around the room, taking everything in. “This is Leah and her grandmother.”
“It’s nice to meet you both. What brings you to the clinic today?” Bree asked, still watching the older woman who was acting uneasy.
“My grandmother, Camila, she doesn’t speak English. She has a knot, a lump, in her breast. I don’t know where to take her to get this looked at. My sister says she needs a mammogram, but where do we get this?” The younger woman looked at Bree with worried eyes and Bree instantly understood her concerns.
Bree had lost her own mother to breast cancer. If her mother had gone to get her yearly exam, the cancer would have been caught earlier and her mother might still be alive today. “If it’s okay with you and your grandmother, I’d like to give her an exam. That way we can make sure there isn’t any other issue that we need to investigate. Then I’ll get a mammogram scheduled.”
After giving the woman a thorough exam, Bree left them in the exam room while she went to find Lucretia. She knew that there were programs run by the local hospitals to help women get their yearly mammogram, but she wasn’t sure where the information was.
