No goodbyes as I’m sure we shall be seeing each other again soon, at the very least I’ll give you a call in a couple of days.

  Until then

  Mitch xoxo

  PS, Show starts at 7pm, you have dinner reservations at Le Cirque restaurant for 5.15! Try to behave and not start any food fights!

  I smiled to myself and unable to find any coffee making facilities in the room, jumped in the shower. I thought Jackson might have woken, but he was still sound asleep and spreadeagled on the bed, as I pulled on some underwear and a short summer dress. Grabbing some cash, I wrote a quick note of my own to Jackson notifying him I was going to grab a coffee and then go scope out the pool. I left it on the pillow beside him, for him to find when he woke, before slipping on a pair of flip flops and taking off.

  Thankfully, there were a few places to buy a coffee inside the main body of the hotel, I grabbed some liquid adrenaline and meandered around the mall window shopping. I didn’t have a swimming costume with me, there had been no need to buy one on my shopping spree with Jackson back in the UK. The Nevada temperatures were peaking at nearly forty degrees and out of the air conditioning I knew I would want to take a refreshing dip in the swimming pool. I found a small boutique and went in to see what they had to offer.

  ‘‘Can I help you madam?’’ A woman’s voice cooed as soon as I entered the store.

  ‘‘Thanks,’’ I called back, ‘‘I’m just looking.’’

  As I found the section that contained my size, I pulled a few items out.

  ‘‘Excuse me,’’ I addressed the lady who had welcomed me.

  She turned to me with a smile, ‘‘Yes.’’

  ‘‘Do you have anything with a little more material?’’

  The sales assistance burst out laughing. ‘‘You are the first person to ask me that… Ever! Most women complain there is too much. You have an amazing figure honey, dare to bare, this is Vegas after all.’’

  I held up what looked like a piece of string with a tiny slither of material attached. ‘‘I’m not sure I’m brave enough!’’ I told her.

  ‘‘Let’s have a look.” As she came over to help me rummage, she assured me, “I’m sure we can find you something.’’

  Twenty minutes later, I was the proud owner of a what I considered to be a miniscule two-piece bikini. Even though I thought it barely covered the essentials, it was still one of the most substantial items in the store. It was two tone, hot pink and baby pink blocks of colour, strings held the bottoms in place at my hips, the top had strings that tied around my neck and back. Helpfully, the store also sold sunscreen so I grabbed one of those and after thanking the woman that had helped me, made my way over to the pool.

  I didn’t have to get changed because the woman in the boutique had allowed me to use the stores fitting room after I had purchased my items. I had simply pulled my sundress over the top to make my way through the hotel.

  The swimming area was an oasis in the middle of the desert. Elaborate columns, fountains and palms adorned the multiple pools. There was even a pool where you could swim up and play a few hands of blackjack. Cabanas were dotted around and offered a more secluded atmosphere as well as much needed shade in the soaring heat. I wandered around before settling on one of the sun loungers. Watching the gentle lapping of the water became almost hypnotic, eventually the temptation became too much and I jumped in for a quick swim. The pool was busy but I didn’t mind, it was nice to be out of the direct heat of the sun if only for a short while. Fifteen minutes later I was ready to get out. Submerging myself one last time I swam over to the steps, then as I walked up them brushing the water out of my eyes, I was enveloped in a towel so quickly I almost thought I was about to be abducted.

  ‘‘Now I know I didn’t buy you that!’’ A furious Jackson exclaimed as he herded me over to my sunbed and grabbed my things.

  ‘‘What’s your problem?’’ I giggled, shrugging off the towel and laying down on the sunbed he had just cleared. ‘‘Give me that sunscreen.’’

  ‘‘We’re going in.’’ Jackson stormed.

  ‘‘You might be!’’ I laughed, pouring some suncream into my hand and massaging it into my legs. ‘‘I’m staying here for a bit, besides Mitch has booked us a table for dinner later, there will be plenty of time to talk then.’’

  ‘‘Will you stop doing that, people are looking.’’ Jackson sounded anxious.

  ‘‘Doing what?’’ I asked, lazily rubbing sunscreen across my belly, up between my breasts and across my chest.

  ‘‘Touching yourself like that.’’ Jackson held up a towel to shield me from prying eyes.

  ‘‘Good grief, I’m just putting on sunblock, you make it sound so sleazy. Do you want me burn? Don’t you think I’ve suffered enough after last night? If people want to look, let ‘em look, it’s not like they haven’t seen someone put on sun cream a thousand times before. Look around you! What do you think is going to happen? Do you think I’m suddenly going to leap up and run off with the cabana boy? How cliché!’’ I could tell by the way Jacksons face suddenly changed he was haunted by insecurities that had been ingrained by Sienna’s behaviour. I softened my tone. ‘‘Hey.’’

  I sat up and scooted forward on the bed patting the space behind me.

  ‘‘Come on,’’ I encouraged, ‘‘sit behind me and do my back, others might look, but there’s only one guy here allowed to touch.’’

  Jackson straddled the bed behind me and I handed him the lotion so he could show the world that guy was him.

  ‘‘Can you move the bottle,’’ I asked shortly after he had started, ‘‘It’s digging in my back.’’

  ‘‘That’s not the bottle.’’ Jackson leant forward and growled in my ear.

  ‘‘I take it now’s not a good time to ask you to get up and go get me a drink then.’’ I laughed.

  ‘‘Seriously, how long are you planning on staying out here, it’s scorching.’’ Jackson grumbled.

  ‘‘Twenty minutes each side, then I’ll take you to brunch,’’ I told him as he clambered out from behind me so I could lay down. ‘‘Go and get yourself a beer at the bar, its shady over there but close enough for you to leap into action if some poor unsuspecting member of the male species dares to talk to me, plus if you get out of the sun you might stop squinting.’’

  ‘‘I can’t help it, I’ve been searching for days, but I can’t find my sunglasses anywhere!’’ Jackson informed me as he walked away, only stopping to turn and ask, ‘‘why are you laughing?’’

  Thirty-Seven

  I got my time in the sun, just about. Precisely thirty-nine minutes and fifty-two seconds later, a large shadow cast over me blocking out the sun. I didn’t have to open my eyes to know what or more accurately, who, was causing the shade.

  ‘‘I take it my time is up?’’ I giggled.

  ‘‘You’re starting to resemble a sun-dried tomato and I am melting in this heat.’’ Jackson fussed.

  ‘‘You didn’t have to stay, I could have met up with you in a bit.’’ I told him, ‘‘plus, if you hadn’t come out here dressed like a member of SWAT you wouldn’t have been so hot. Black absorbs the heat you know. If you had put some swim shorts on you could have even jumped in the pool.’’

  ‘‘Pool’s too busy and I wasn’t expecting to have to stay, you promised we could talk today.’’

  ‘‘I didn’t think leaving would be so hard for you since taking off appears to be your speciality.’’ Even though I’d only been joking, that remark definitely hit a nerve causing Jackson to snap.

  ‘‘That’s it! I’ve been patient long enough.’’

  I could tell by the tone of his voice Jackson meant business. This was further confirmed when I was suddenly yanked to my feet from my resting position and unceremoniously thrown over his shoulder.

  ‘‘We are going to talk and we are going to do it now!’’

  ‘‘Jack!’’ I screamed, ‘‘Put me down I need to put on my dress and grab my stuff.’’

  ‘‘Don’t worry, I’ll replace it all.’’ Jackson told me as he strode off in a huff.

  ‘‘I don’t want it replaced,’’ I yelled, ‘‘put me down!’’

  ‘‘Stop wriggling, you’re all slippery.’’ Jackson chided, before grabbing the arm of a passing waiter and addressing him. ‘‘I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you collect those things together and follow us to our room.’’

  ‘‘Don’t be ridiculous,’’ I stormed, ‘‘it’s not even worth half that. PUT ME DOWN!’’

  ‘‘Um.’’ The waiter looked a little stricken.

  ‘‘Five Hundred.’’ Jack offered. The waiter shrugged and nodded putting down his tray and doing as he was bid.

  ‘‘For heaven’s sake Jack, I can’t go through the hotel like this, I’m too exposed.’’ I begged.

  ‘‘You didn’t seem to mind about an hour ago,’’ Jackson retorted as he marched off.

  ‘‘Hey aren’t you…’’ Someone called as we passed.

  ‘‘No!’’ Snapped Jackson, not even looking to see who had spoken.

  ‘‘You really must learn some people skills if the rumours are to be believed,’’ I told him.

  ‘‘What rumours?’’ Jackson asked.

  ‘‘Someone told me you were thinking of making a comeback.’’ I answered.

  ‘‘Who told you that?’’ Jackson stormed.

  ‘‘Some girl at that bar last night.’’ I admitted

  Jackson snorted but didn’t reply.

  At the speed Jackson was traveling it didn’t take us long to get back to our suite. Jackson told the waiter to just dump the things he was carrying inside the door before handing him a wadge of notes and sending him on his way.

  Once we were alone, he took me straight to the shower before depositing me in it.

  ‘‘Rinse yourself off,’’ he demanded, ‘‘then I’ll help you rub in your after sun.’’

  ‘‘I haven’t got any.’’ I told him.

  ‘‘Typical,’’ he flapped his arms in exasperation, causing me to roll my lips to hold in the laughter that was threatening to escape. ‘‘If you are not out in five minutes, I’m coming in to get you.’’

  Jackson left, firmly closing the door behind him. Rather than provoke him further, I did as I was asked and a few minutes later emerged wrapped in one of the hotels large and opulent white fluffy towels. I assumed Jackson had gone off to freshen himself up in Mitchel’s en-suite, as I found him slightly damp with a towel wrapped around his waist lying on the bed waiting for me. I noticed the clothes that had been stripped off were all folded neatly and in a pile on a chair at the side of the room.

  ‘‘I’m beginning to think you are a neat freak,’’ I told him as I admired the view of him lying half naked in front of me. ‘‘Why are you undressed? I can’t… you know, right now.’’

  ‘‘You could,” Jackson informed me, “but that isn’t what this is about right now! We are just going to talk.’’

  ‘‘Any reason we have to be naked?’’ I enquired. Not that I minded, I was enjoying the view too much.

  ‘‘Even after a cold shower I was still feeling hot, you’ve literally just arrived in a towel, throw something on if it will make you feel more comfortable, then get your sweet ass over here pronto.’’

  It seemed churlish to want to get dressed when Jackson had already experienced all I had to offer, I was more than adequately covered so I clambered onto the bed and positioned myself beside him. Immediately, Jackson rolled me onto my side and sidled up behind me so he was spooning me.

  ‘‘It’ll make this easier for me,’’ he whispered as he put his arm over my waist and pulled me tight to him, his forearm rested up the centre of the front of my body, ‘‘if I don’t have to look you in the eye’s while we do this.’’ Jackson rested his chin on the top of my head so I was nestled into his neck.

  I had no control as my stomach dropped. ‘‘You really don’t want to see me anymore, do you?’’ I croaked, disappointed in myself that I couldn’t keep my emotions in check.

  Jack pushed up on his free arm and allowed me to turn slightly, so I could look up at him briefly while he answered. ‘‘No baby, you’ve got it all wrong, I want to see more of you.’’

  ‘‘You do?’’ I was surprised at how quickly the dread in my stomach turned to euphoria.

  Reassured, I let Jackson settle us back down so we were both comfortable.

  ‘‘I do,’’ he confirmed in a boyish slightly scared voice, ‘‘but there are things you need to know, about me, about my past that might make you reconsider.’’

  ‘‘I don’t want you to get mad,’’ I said carefully, ‘‘but I know.’’

  ‘‘What do you know?’’ He queried confused.

  ‘‘About Sienna.’’

  ‘‘There’s more to it than what you read in the papers.’’

  I closed my eyes and prayed I wasn’t about to make a huge mistake, but I didn’t want to cause Jackson more grief by having to retell a painful story that I had already heard.

  ‘‘You mean Maria?’’

  I felt Jackson’s body stiffen. ‘‘Mitch?’’ He snarled.

  ‘‘No. Mitch never said a word. I promise.’’

  ‘‘Elena?’’ Jackson took my silence as the confirmation it was. ‘‘She had no right.’’

  I felt Jackson try to pull away, so I clung to his arm holding him firm. ‘‘No, please, talk to me.’’

  It was a tense few seconds as I waited to see what Jackson would decide to do. I was relieved when I felt him concede and cuddle back into me. When he didn’t speak, I felt I had to.

  ‘‘Please don’t be angry. You know she loves you and would do anything to see you happy again.’’

  Still I was met with a stony silence, so I just tried to relax into Jackson’s taut body and wait while he processed whatever was racing through his mind.

  ‘‘I’ll never want more children.’’ He stated with finality.

  His words startled me, ‘‘more? I thought…’’

  ‘‘She was mine!’’ Jackson stopped me. ‘‘I was the only person other than the medical team she ever knew. The only one who truly loved her. She might have had that other assholes DNA, but he threw her away, he didn’t deserve her. I sat by her side for days willing her to fight, I was with her when she took her last breath, I named her, mourned her and laid her to rest. She was mine! Losing my daughter was the worst pain I have ever had to deal with, I never want to have to go through that again and I’ll never forgive myself for being the one to cause it.’’

  Hearing the suffering in his voice I tried to turn to comfort him, but Jackson held me fast so I couldn’t move to look at him. Eventually I gave up the struggle and asked him softly, ‘‘you feel responsible? How could you think that?’’

  ‘‘If I hadn’t been drunk, shouting my mouth off at Sienna while she was driving, she would have seen the truck and been able to avoid the collision.’’

  ‘‘You don’t know that!’’ I tried to control the irritation in my voice. ‘’From what I read the driver fell asleep at the wheel, ran a red at breakneck speed. Even if Sienna hadn’t been talking to you at the time, she was in an emotional state, she still may never have seen him until it was too late. Even if she did, she would have had to swerve to avoid him and who knows what could have happened then. You thought she was tucked up in bed not sneaking around in the middle of the night, you had no control over where she was at that moment. It was a cruel and tragic accident. From what I understand you didn’t even know she was pregnant, how is that possible?’’

  It took Jackson a while to answer and when he did his voice was filled with emotion. ‘‘She always kept herself fit, watched what she ate and was barely showing. She covered what little bump there was with baggy tops and loose-fitting clothes. We shared a bed, but in the weeks before the wedding she became more and more withdrawn, didn’t want to get physical in any way. I thought she was just tired and stressed from all the preparations. It never crossed my mind there was ever any more to it than that. When that doctor walked into the waiting room at the hospital, my life suddenly came crashing down around me in more ways than one, but when I saw her… Maria, I have never felt a love like it. She was a fighter. Fought so hard, the hardest thing was not being able to do anything to help her, to watch her slip away and not being able to a damn thing to prevent it.’’

  ‘‘Baby, I’m so sorry.’’ I squeezed Jackson’s arm. ‘‘What happened after you left the hospital? Elena said you disappeared in the middle of the night. Where did you go?’’

  ‘‘Bumfuck nowhere!’’

  ‘‘Huh?’’

  ‘‘I woke up, went downstairs and overheard Mitch and Elena talking. I found out about the affair and Mitch’s suspicions about Maria. It was all too much, I didn’t want to hear it, any of it, so I left. Walked out the front door with little more than the clothes on my back and a few hundred bucks in my pocket. I just walked around in a daze for hours, then I found myself at a bus station. I said to the girl at the desk just give me a ticket, I don’t care where to. I climbed on a bus and rode it for a couple of hours. I only got off because I spotted a liquor store and I wanted to drown my sorrows in a bottle of bourbon. By the time I had what I needed the bus had already left, I wandered down the road to a cheap motel, got myself a room and drunk so much I’m surprised my liver didn’t give up.’’

 

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