Crown of confessions, p.9
Crown of Confessions, page 9
I lifted my blouse over my head while he watched. I lay there in nothing more than my satin slip. He stared at me as rainwater dripped off my hair and onto the pillow.
He touched the lace between my breasts and let his fingertips trail the pattern down to the tops of my thighs.
He kicked off his shoes, then sat up to unbutton his shirt. I stared at him anxiously as he pried it off his drenched body. Drops fell from his forehead and dripped down his chest, making his muscles glisten in the room’s soft light. His body was familiar except for some hair that now sprouted from his chest. His arms were my safe place. I rubbed my hands along the grooves on his back, neck, and chest while he peered down at me through his soft lashes.
With apologies behind us and an understanding of our commitment to one another, our future was in our grasp. God had given us this gift to share. I’d thought about this moment for so long.
I’d wanted this.
I’d prayed for this.
I’d fantasized and even dreamed about this.
I loved this man with every bone in my body. I was his, and his alone, for the taking. I always had been his from the day I met him all those years ago.
He kissed me again, hard and deep, as thunder shook the window.
Startled by the noise, I pulled away with ragged breath, sat up, and stared out the window.
“It’s okay. It’s just a little thunder from the rain. It’ll pass,” he panted against my neck as his erection pressed into my leg.
Another flash of lightning illuminated the room. The bright gleam energized every sexual nerve in my body. I needed to see him. Every inch of him. “Here, let me help you out of those,” I whispered against his neck as I undid his belt, then unzipped his pants. I yanked them down his hips and let them fall to the floor. I reached into his boxer shorts, grabbed him, and glided my tongue behind his ear.
He lifted my slip over my head, tossed it to the side, and pressed another kiss to my mouth. My nipples hardened against his skin. He released my lips, and I fought for breath.
“I want to look at you.” His eyes raked over my naked body. “You’re so beautiful.” He let his fingertips graze over the ends of my hair, then down to my breasts.
Goose pimples bloomed across my skin from his touch.
He kissed my neck, then brushed the tip of his tongue from my chest down to my hardened nipples. He grabbed my breast and rolled my nipple between his fingers. He took the other breast into his mouth and sucked and nibbled around my areola.
I yelped out in pleasure, then wove my fingers through his wavy hair while he continued to suckle on my nipples. He detoured from my breasts and kissed my mouth softly.
“I want to taste you. All of you.” He moved down my stomach. My body trembled as the tip of his tongue flicked against my skin. Featherlike, he let his lips graze my hips. Once he reached my pelvis, he paused and drew in a breath.
I looked down.
He stared at the skin on my stomach.
“What’s wrong?” I panted.
“Nothing. You’re perfect,” he smiled, then pressed soft kisses around my belly button. His knuckles grazed against my skin, then he descended past my hips and between my legs.
He nudged my thighs and spread me apart. He stroked the hair between my legs.
It tickled. I moaned in response as pressure built under my navel.
He let his lips drag around my inner thighs. He stroked my spot with his fingertips, then inserted a finger.
I yelped out in pleasure.
He slid his fingers inside of me, then back out, and in again. His movements made a wet, popping noise. “You feel so good.”
Moisture dribbled out of me and onto the bed as I trembled under his touch. I closed my eyes and concentrated on breathing while he licked his fingers of my taste. “Please, don’t stop,” I begged. “I can’t wait any longer. I’m going to burst.”
“You taste sweet, like a fine wine. I’m going to fill my cup with you and swallow every last drop,” he said in a thick voice, then took the flesh into his mouth and sucked. With his plump lips, he let his tongue lap over my soft nub in circles, then up and down.
“Gaetano,” I yelled out as I writhed under him and dug my nails into his back. I reached for his head to pull his face in deeper.
His tongue flicked faster and faster against my flesh until I felt my whole body tighten.
“I love you,” I cried out as my body shook in ecstasy.
He continued to suck on my spot relentlessly. We rode the waves of my orgasm together, then our bodies stilled. He released my flesh, took a deep breath, and then moved up my body to my face. As thunderous booms bounced off the walls and flashes of light lit up the air around us, he stared deep into my eyes. A myriad of emotions crossed his face.
I touched his cheek and let my thumb graze over his right brow and down his jawline.
Gaetano bent down and kissed me tenderly on the lips, then on my cheekbones and neck.
“I love you too,” he said softly against my skin. “Do you know how beautiful you look right now?” he asked, then placed another kiss behind my ear. “To see you like this, in this light. Your face.” He kissed my mouth again. “Your body,” he murmured and sprinkled kisses over my breasts.
His lips on my nipples made me giggle in pleasured bliss.
He locked his fingers around mine. “And one day,” he said as he drew my left hand up to his mouth, “I want to place a ring on this finger.” He kissed my knuckle.
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“There was a time I thought I’d never see you like this again.” He tucked damp strands of hair behind my ear.
We shared a smile.
He held my face between his palms and kissed my cheeks. His face was soft. He stared at me with a look so intense and a love so deep it couldn’t be measured. His expression made me feel like I was his whole universe.
“Don’t look at me like that, or I’ll cry again,” I whimpered.
“Shhh. It’s all right.” He swept a few straggling tears away with his thumb. “You don’t need to cry. I’m here with you, and I’m not going anywhere. I want to worship you. I want to show you not only with my body but with my heart how much you mean to me.” He moved onto his side and pulled my body close.
“There aren’t strong enough words for how I feel about you. I love you so much.”
He wrapped me in his arms and pulled the blankets over our bodies.
“I know of another way to get warm.” I tossed the blankets aside and rolled him over onto his back. I tugged his boxers down his legs.
“My turn,” I said.
His eyes were wide from my advance, and his arousal sprang forward.
I stared at his body, kissed his chest, and licked down his torso and past his hips. I held him in my hand and stroked his foreskin. He closed his eyes as I massaged him.
“Climb on top of me. I love it when you’re on top. I like to watch you,” he encouraged me.
“I want to do something else first.” I licked my lips. Time and other experiences gave me the confidence to explore him in new ways. I moved down between his legs and took him into my mouth. I brushed my tongue up and down his shaft. He was warm and thick.
He put his hands through my hair as I worked. Muscles in his thighs grew tight, and light moans escaped his lips.
“I want to be inside you now,” he whispered with measured breaths, then patted the pillow beside him.
I lay next to him.
“I know what you said at the church, but is it safe? Did you count your days?” He rolled over me and kissed behind my ear as his erection pressed against my inner thigh.
“We’ll be fine,” I whispered against his lips, then looked up at his face. “I don’t think I can get pregnant anymore.” A pang of guilt flooded me. “But now that you mention it, maybe you should think about that before we . . .” I recoiled slightly.
“Think about what? I don’t want to think about anything but you.”
“Maybe this is wrong.” I withdrew from his grip. “I wasn’t thinking.” I covered my face with my hands. “I’ll never be able to give you a child,” I whimpered.
“I love you, no matter what. Even if we can’t have a child, I want only you.” He tried to free my hands. “Please look at me. If we can’t have our own baby, we can always adopt. Look what happened to my grandmother. You’re the one who said God listened to your prayers, and look, here I am. Here we are.” He kissed my knuckles. “So, whatever happens, we’ll leave it up to God.” He placed a kiss on my forehead.
I nodded, then he rubbed away my tears.
He took me into his arms and kissed me deeply.
I climbed on top, straddled his hips, and reached between his legs. He stiffened from my touch. Slowly, I inserted him inside me. I moaned as the folds of my skin wrapped around him. I rocked my hips, pulling him in and out of me. I loved to feel him inside me. I let my body’s rhythmic movements set the pace. I wanted to give him pleasure and watch his face as we rediscovered our lovers’ paradise together. He clutched my hips as I moved. Trickles of sweat dripped down my back and between my legs.
While still inside me, he sat up. I wrapped my arms and legs around his body. He took my breast into his mouth while the muscles around my thighs and pelvis contracted with every thrust.
With one breast in his mouth, he grabbed my ass with both hands. I moved my hips back and forth as I pushed against him, again and again. We were a perfect storm. Our bodies crashed into each other like roaring thunder against the bright lightning outside. Sparks of our own light filled our bodies as we moved toward the finish. Years of wanting to be together had been bottled up and boiled down into this one moment. With every pump of our hips, we pushed past feelings of anger, resentment, fear, and regret, followed by forgiveness and an unyielding love and respect for one another that couldn’t be harnessed or forgotten. The sound of the storm edged closer with every second, encouraging me to move faster. Then, without warning, he stilled and came inside me.
“I love you, Violetta. Be mine forever.” He held me tight as he finished.
“I love you too.” I kissed him softly as he regained his breath. Trembling, we held each other tightly and cradled our vulnerability. Our hearts beat hard against our chest bones as if speaking to one another again. I held him in my arms and wrapped him in all my love and admiration.
“You feel so wonderful. Just to be with you like this . . .” He nuzzled into my hair. “I feel whole again,” he whispered against my neck, then hugged me tightly.
“I missed you so much. Your touch, your love, your kisses,” I said and kissed him again. “Tonight was even better than I’d imagined.”
He smiled. “It was for me too,” he said, then dappled kisses along my neck.
Minutes passed, along with the storm, and silence filled the room. Our lovemaking was more than just an act of passion—it was a hurricane of emotions. We’d come through our storm, and with our bodies intertwined, we’d made it to the other side.
He slowly pulled away from my grasp and looked out the window. “Looks like the storm’s passed us now. Late spring storms tend to do that. They come in quick, then go away just as fast. Tomorrow should be clear and beautiful.” He turned back to me, cupped my cheeks, and stared into my eyes. “Speaking of beautiful, you’re like the sun coming out after a long storm. Without your light, I’ve been living in darkness.”
I studied his face as he spoke.
“Thank you for your forgiveness and for giving me the chance to make this right. And for choosing me to share your life with.”
“That’s all I ever wanted—to be close to you again, like when we were kids—when things made sense. Before . . .” I put my head down as remorse flooded me.
Gaetano tilted my chin up. “I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere. When I look over my life, I will think about this night and know it’s the night I reconnected with my soulmate. These precious moments are not lost on me. You are my soulmate, Violetta. You always have been and always will be.” He played with the ends of my hair, then looked back up at me. “I tried so hard to fight my feelings for you. I’ve gotten good at stuffing the pain. I’m just glad I followed my heart tonight because it led me right back here to you. Now, we have a chance at a future. I will love you until my last breath.”
Tears welled in my eyes. “Your words overwhelm me.” I reached up to touch his face. “To know that you love me that much, after all this time, fills my heart with so much hope and happiness. I’m so grateful for you.”
He held my face in his hands. “Il tuo corpo è la mia casa, sei il mio santuario. Sei il sole che mi dà la vita. Il tuo sorriso da solo potrebbe illuminare l’universo. Ti amo, Violetta, per sempre.”
I pulled away slightly and stared into his soulful, honey-brown eyes. “Still the poet, are we?”
“Only for you,” he smiled, then kissed my chin and neck.
“My turn.”
“Let’s hear it,” he said, then lay back down.
“With every bone in my body, I’m yours. I love you, Gaetano Sanna. You are my wind. You have the strength to make trees dance and kites fly. You have the power to make dark clouds disappear. Without you, every day has felt like a thunderstorm; frightful and gloomy. Thank you for blowing away my past and my fears.”
“Not bad.” He smiled. “I promise to protect you from any storm. I love you.” He kissed my forehead.
“You aren’t the only one who can be a poet. Remember, I’m the one who introduced you to Signor Shakespeare.”
We both giggled.
“There’s my beautiful girl,” he beamed. “I love to see you happy and laughing.”
“You still know how to make me laugh. Please, never stop.”
“Deal. I want to spend the rest of my life watching you smile.” He kissed my mouth.
“When I’m with you, how can I not?” I cupped his face.
He rolled me onto my back, then placed his face between my breasts and fondled my nipples.
“And I thought you said you were tired?” I reached up and threaded my fingers into the waves of his hair.
“Who, me? No, I’m just getting started.”
Voices in the Night
Gaetano stood amongst the vineyards. He smiled at me and then back, toward the tiny voice.
“I’m gonna get you,” Gaetano said.
A little voice giggled and ran. A small head of brown curls bobbed up and down through the miniature trees of the Sanna vineyard. Gaetano ran and scooped up the tiny blessing in his hands. “Gotcha.”
His voice echoed through the field. I ran to my future ahead of me. With every step forward, they got further and further away. I yelled for them, but they didn’t turn around. I tried to move my body through the countless vines.
“Stop, wait for me,” I bellowed.
Their bodies disappeared from view. My heart fell into my stomach. Where had they gone?
Lost in a maze of green, not knowing which way to turn, I called out again, hoping I’d hear their sweet voices. “Gaetano, where are you guys?” My heart clenched under my rib cage. I tried to run again, but this time I sank into a deep pit of mud. I slogged around the wet dirt and crawled from its grip.
With all my strength, I dragged my body closer to their voices until I came upon reddened, muddy earth. I followed the trail of red, slithering my body from side to side, searching. The pool of red got bigger and bigger as I came upon something solid.
Gaetano’s body, face down in the dirt.
I screamed his name and rolled him over to see his face.
Nearby, laughter filled the field.
It was Frank, and he held our child in his hands, with a knife to my angel’s throat.
“No, Frank, don’t do it. Please. Take me instead,” I cried while my child squirmed in his clutch. Frank pulled the knife back, stabbed my angel in his chest, and then lunged at me.
“No,” I shrieked.
Gaetano shook me awake. “Violetta, wake up. Please, sole mio.”
I reached for his face. “You’re alive? Where’s Frank? Please, we must do something,” I bellowed through the tiny, dark room. The rain had stopped.
“You had a nightmare. He’s not here. You’re here with me. You’re safe.” Gaetano held me tight while I shook.
“It was so real. He was right there,” I panted.
“It’s over now. He can’t hurt you anymore. I won’t let him.” He pushed my hair from my watery eyes.
I took deep breaths to regain my sense of location and well-being.
“I’m okay.” Oh God, when is that man gonna stop haunting me?
“How long have you had these nightmares?”
I put my head down. “Now and again. It was worse during the war. The long hours made them creep up more.”
Gaetano’s lips pressed into a tight line. “I don’t think you realize how much it angers me that he did those things to you. It makes me feel like I could . . .”
“Please don’t let Frank ruin our night. Too many great things have happened. It was only a dream.” I climbed into Gaetano’s loving arms.
He brushed his thumb along my arm and the hairs stood from his touch. “You’re very courageous.” He placed his finger under my chin and tilted my head up to look at him. “Do you know that?”
“I did what any woman would do, trying to protect the people she loves.” I ran my fingers through his chest hair.
“I want to protect you from him. It kills me to watch you in this much pain. He has certainly left his mark. Sadly, he resides in your mind.” His eyes blazed red in the dim light of the room. “He’s the devil.”
“The devil?”
“Yes, he’s pure evil, and I hope he burns in hell for what he did to you. All of them—devils and thieves who rob and kill. They’re only here to do harm. Every last one of them.”
“Frank’s not as powerful as the devil.” I laughed. “He’s a coward of a man who didn’t even say goodbye to his daughter at her funeral. He’s an embarrassment and a loose end for the Molanano family, and I bet Don Molanano knows that. The only reason he isn’t dead yet is because of his father.”
