Always, p.3
Always, page 3
“Why not?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because of a giant dickhead named Rick?”
“Fuck Rick,” Stella said.
“I would have, but three other women from his law firm were already fucking him, and his schedule was full,” Jocelyn said.
Stella rubbed her back. “Rick was an asshole who didn’t deserve you, honey. It’s not your fault he cheated on you.”
Jocelyn didn’t reply, and Stella rubbed her back again. “It wasn’t.”
“Rick wasn’t entirely to blame for our marriage ending. I have my faults too.”
“We all do,” Stella said. “But we’re not talking about tiny-dicked Rick. We’re talking about the hottie of a man currently standing in our parents’ kitchen who wants to bang all thoughts of tiny-dicked Rick right out of your head.”
Jocelyn laughed. “One – don’t be so crude, and two – Rick didn’t have a tiny dick.”
“Really?” Stella gave her a skeptical look. “He always struck me as the kind of guy who has a tiny dick.”
“It was fine. Perfectly acceptable.” Jocelyn pulled at her t-shirt again.
“Fine? Perfectly acceptable? Oh, honey, you really need to get laid by Sawyer,” Stella said.
“You’re going to have sex with Sawyer?”
Zoe had quietly entered the room, and Jocelyn gave Stella a dirty look. “No. I’m not having sex with Sawyer.”
“Well, that’s a shame, dear. He’s very handsome and seems lovely. Ethan’s already quite taken with him. He was thrilled to see him again and even lost interest in his cartoon. Sawyer’s colouring with him right now.”
“Ethan loves every guy he meets,” Jocelyn said. “He’s desperate for a father figure, and it’s just another way I’m failing as a mother.”
“Oh, hush,” Zoe said as she smoothed Jocelyn’s hair. “You are not failing as a mother, and it’s not your fault that Rick chose to abandon his children. You’re doing a wonderful job raising your kids.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Jocelyn said.
“You’re welcome, dearest. Now, come back to the kitchen. Dinner is almost ready,” Zoe said.
As they moved toward the door, Zoe paused and patted Jocelyn’s arm. “Also, if you do want to have sex with Sawyer, I am available anytime to take the kids. Don’t hesitate to bring them over so you can enjoy yourself. All right?”
Stella laughed as Jocelyn blushed and groaned, “Mom, please stop talking about sex.”
“What?” Zoe said. “It’s a beautiful and natural thing. I mean it, dearest. I can take the kids for a sleepover whenever you want to have a sleepover with Sawyer.”
“He’s not interested in me,” Jocelyn said.
“She’s lying,” Stella said. “He asked her out earlier today.”
“Shut up, Stella.” Jocelyn was going to murder her sister.
“Did you say yes?” Zoe asked.
“Of course, I didn’t. Mom, Stella – I love that you want me to be happy, but getting laid by some random guy I just met isn’t what I need right now.”
“It’s exactly what you need,” Stella said. “Have you even had sex since you and Rick split up?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“That means no,” Stella said to Zoe. “C’mon, Jocelyn, give Sawyer a chance. I bet sex with him would be awesome.”
Jocelyn gave her an irritated look and stomped toward the doorway and out into the hallway. “Sex with Sawyer could be a life-changing experience, and I still – OH!”
She had run face-first into a solid wall of muscle. As she inhaled the delicious scent that she had already begun to associate with Sawyer, she was only dimly aware of the hard arm curving around her waist to keep her from falling. She inhaled again, her face buried in his t-shirt, and lust made an unexpected appearance in her body as Sawyer’s hand tightened on her hip.
“Hi, Mama!”
Ethan’s sweet voice snapped her out of her lust-induced daze, and she stared at her son. He clung to Sawyer’s broad back like a monkey, and he grinned happily at her. “Sawyer’s givin’ me a piggy-back ride.”
“I see that,” she said as she pushed away from Sawyer’s body. His gaze dipped to her chest. It was only for the briefest of moments, but warmth immediately flooded her lower body.
She forced herself to look at his face, hoping like hell he hadn’t heard what she said. His look of amusement suggested he had, and she groaned inwardly as Ethan pounded Sawyer on the back. “Keep going, Sawyer.”
“Sure, little man,” Sawyer said. He nodded at Zoe and Stella, gave Jocelyn a wicked grin, and continued down the hallway to the stairs.
“Shit,” Jocelyn muttered when Sawyer and Ethan disappeared down the stairs. Stella put her arm around her shoulders.
“Please tell me I didn’t look as stupid as I felt,” Jocelyn said.
“You didn’t,” Stella assured her. “It was kind of cute the way you were sniffing him.”
“Fuck me,” Jocelyn groaned.
“I believe that’s exactly what Sawyer’s trying to do, dearest,” Zoe said sweetly as she squeezed past them. “C’mon then before dinner gets cold.”
“So, Sawyer, you mentioned that you own a gym?” Zoe said.
“I do. Just bought it, actually,” Sawyer said as he took the platter of roasted chicken from Stella and put a few slices on his plate. Jocelyn sat on his left, well, sort of - Julie sat between them in her highchair - and he reached past the baby to hand Jocelyn the platter of chicken. She took it with a quiet thanks, and that electric awareness rushed through him when their fingers brushed.
“Congratulations! Stella, weren’t you and Jocelyn talking about joining a gym?” Zoe asked.
“We were,” Stella said. “Maybe we should join Sawyer’s gym.”
“It’s a boxing gym,” Jocelyn said as she cut up some tiny pieces of chicken and placed them on the tray on Julie’s highchair. “I’m not looking to learn to box.”
“Boxing is a good workout,” Sawyer said. “It can strengthen your muscles, help improve your balance, and it’s great for cardio.”
“Everything we’re looking for,” Stella said. “We can at least check it out.”
“We offer a seven-day free trial membership,” Sawyer added.
“Even better,” Stella said. “What do you think, Jocelyn?”
“I’ll think about it,” Jocelyn said. “I’m pretty busy with work, and we both have stuff to do for your upcoming wedding.”
“Oh, I’m not going near a gym until after the wedding and honeymoon,” Stella said with a laugh. “But once I’m back, we will definitely check out your free membership trial, Sawyer.”
“Cool,” he said, hoping the excitement wasn’t apparent in his voice.
“It’s so close to Jocelyn’s bookstore. It would be perfect for her to join,” Zoe said.
“You own the bookstore?” Sawyer asked.
“No,” Jocelyn said. “I just work there.”
“She’s the manager,” Walter said. “Started as a part-time employee, and now she’s basically running the whole place. The owner is nice but very hands-off. She’s more interested in marathon training.”
Jocelyn’s cheeks were a soft shade of pink, and she busied herself with helping Ethan cut up his chicken as Zoe said, “We’re very proud of her.”
Stella handed Sawyer a small tray with pickles, cheese, and olives on it, and he took a couple of pieces of cheese, setting them on his plate.
“It’s just managing a used bookstore, Mom. I’m not changing the world,” Jocelyn said, her cheeks going a deeper shade of pink.
“Mama!” Julie said with glee before shoving a fistful of mashed potatoes into her mouth.
“I love reading,” Sawyer said. “I’ll have to check out the bookstore.”
“You definitely should,” Stella said. “They have so many great books, and Jocelyn basically knows every single book they have in the place. She’ll be able to give you some recommendations on whatever you enjoy reading. What’s you’re favourite genre?”
“I read a lot of suspense and horror,” Sawyer said.
“Suspense is Jocelyn’s favourite genre,” Stella said. “You have so much in common.”
“Stella.” Jocelyn gave her a look.
“What?” Stella said. “You do. Don’t you think they have a lot in common, Ford?”
“Sure,” Ford said.
Sawyer’s smile faded at the look of discomfort on Jocelyn’s face. As much as he was enjoying having Stella as his wingman, it was apparent that her sister did not.
He was about to change the subject when Julie leaned over in her highchair and yoinked a piece of cheese off his plate.
“Julie, honey, no,” Jocelyn said as Stella started laughing.
“Cheese,” Julie said gleefully before stuffing the cheese into her mouth.
“Oh, Julie,” Jocelyn sighed before glancing at Sawyer. “I’m so sorry.”
She gave Stella a pointed look. “This is why you were supposed to sit next to Julie.”
“Are you kidding? I switched seats with Sawyer because of your cheese-stealing baby,” Stella said.
“Julie’s first word was cheese, even before mama. She is obsessed with cheese,” Ford said.
“Cheese!” Julie hollered before eyeing Sawyer’s second piece of cheese.
“Oh no, you don’t,” Sawyer said with a laugh and picked up the cheese.
“No cheese?” Julie said sadly. Her big blue eyes stared at him, and, feeling guilty, he immediately handed her the cheese.
“Cheeeeeese!” she crowed, holding it over her head like a trophy before waving it at her mother. “Mama, cheese!”
“Yes, baby, but we don’t take other people’s cheese,” Jocelyn said.
“Cheese, E-an!” Julie said, waving the cheese at Ethan.
Ethan held up his own piece of cheese, and Julie made an ear-piercing shriek of excitement.
“Too loud, Julie,” Ethan said, clamping his hands over his ears.
As Julie took a big bite from the cheese, Jocelyn said, “We don’t steal cheese from other people’s plates, Julie.”
Julie chewed on the cheese, staring thoughtfully at Sawyer before breaking off a tiny portion she still held and holding out the half-gnawed piece toward him. “Cheese.”
“Aw, sharing is caring,” Stella said with a laugh.
“Cheese,” Julie repeated, shaking her hand at Sawyer.
Sawyer took the cheese from Julie. She waited a few seconds before making a flat O shape with her hand and tapping her potato-coated fingers against her mouth as she stared intently at Sawyer.
“That’s the sign for ‘eat’ in American Sign Language,” Stella told him.
“You do not have to eat that,” Jocelyn said quickly.
“I think he kind of does,” Stella said with an impish grin.
Ford and Walter laughed as Julie made the eat sign again. Sawyer popped the cheese into his mouth, and Julie shrieked another happy, “Cheeeese!”
“Cheese, baby.” Sawyer grinned at her, and Jocelyn sighed when Julie patted his arm and smeared mashed potatoes on his skin.
“I’m sorry.” She handed him an extra napkin before reaching to pull Julie’s highchair closer to her.
“It’s fine,” Sawyer said before she could move the highchair. “I don’t mind.”
“Are you sure?” she asked as Julie traced the tattoo on his forearm, leaving another trail of mashed potatoes.
“Positive,” he said before smiling at the baby.
“So, Sawyer,” Walter said, “Ford tells me the two of you served together?”
CHAPTER 4
“Again, Sawyer!” Ethan shouted.
Jocelyn watched as Sawyer obligingly picked up Ethan and turned him upside down before shaking him like a child-sized salt shaker.
Ethan laughed hysterically and shouted, “Okay, now do the wrestling move!”
Sawyer flipped him upright before pretending to smash him down to the floor in front of Ford, who sat cross-legged and holding Julie.
“Ford, tag in!” Sawyer said, holding out his hand.
Ford slapped it, and Ethan squealed with laughter when Ford used one meaty forearm to pin him to the ground gently. He handed Julie to Sawyer before starting the count. “One, two -”
With a grunt of effort, Ethan pushed Ford’s arm off of him and bounced to his feet. Jocelyn winced when he immediately tackled Ford, flinging his body at him like he really was in the wrestling ring.
Ford collapsed to his back, pretending to struggle as Ethan pinned him to the ground with his small body over Ford’s chest.
“One, two, three!” Ethan shouted. “I win!”
He jumped up and did a victory dance before running to where Stella sat on the couch. “I beat Uncle Ford and Sawyer, Aunt Stella!”
“Nice job, buddy!” Stella held out her hand, and Ethan high-fived it and then Zoe’s hand, before running to his grandfather.
“Now you, Grandpa! Let’s wrestle!”
“Not a chance,” Walter laughed. He stood up from his recliner and scooped Ethan into his arms. “I’m too old for wrestling shenanigans, but how about you come into the kitchen with me and we’ll have a scoop of frozen yogurt before you head home.”
“Yeah!” Ethan cheered.
Jocelyn glanced at Sawyer. He was still holding Julie, and she tried to ignore the implosion of her ovaries when Julie smiled at Sawyer before resting her head against his chest. He gently patted her back, his big body swaying.
Okay, so watching Sawyer be so gentle with her daughter was turning Jocelyn’s insides into warm goo, but that didn’t mean she should date him. Just because a guy was good with her kids didn’t mean he would be a good dad, or even that he wanted to be one.
Telling her stupid heart to cool it, she said, “I think Julie is getting sleepy. I can take her if you’d rather not have to hold her.”
“I’m good,” Sawyer said, his body still swaying as Julie yawned and closed her eyes.
“You’re great with kids,” Stella said brightly, ignoring Jocelyn’s pointed look. “Do you want your own?”
“I’d like one or two,” Sawyer said. “With the right person.”
“That’s lovely,” Zoe said. “Jocelyn has always said she wanted four kids. She loves kids and is just the best mom.”
“Stella, did Jasmine get the specific flowers you wanted for your bouquet?” Jocelyn asked loudly.
“Oh my God, it was a nightmare for her, but yes, she did get them.” As Stella launched into the story, Jocelyn breathed a sigh of relief and kept her gaze firmly on her sister, rather than on the way too enticing view of Sawyer as he continued to rock Julie to sleep.
“Thank you so much for carrying Julie out to the car.” Jocelyn buckled Ethan into his car seat and kissed his forehead before shutting the car door.
“It’s not a problem,” Sawyer said as Jocelyn joined him on the other side. She opened the door and, cradling the sleeping Julie like she was made of glass, Sawyer carefully placed her into her car seat.
He stepped back, and Jocelyn bent and buckled Julie in, acutely aware of the fact that her ass was sticking up in the air and Sawyer was still behind her. Was he staring at it? Was he wondering what it might feel like in his hands? What she might do if he stepped forward and pressed his dick against her, so that she could feel how much he wanted her?
Get over yourself, girl. He’s not staring at your ass, nor is he thinking about fucking you. You turned him down, remember?
She double checked that Julie was buckled securely and kissed her soft cheek before shuffling back and straightening. Tugging self-consciously at her shirt, she smiled at Sawyer as she shut the car door.
“Okay, well, thank you again. I really appreciate how much you played with Ethan tonight and for letting Julie fall asleep on you.”
“No problem,” he said. “I had fun. Your kids are great.”
“They have their moments of being little turds,” she said, “but overall, they’re pretty awesome.”
He laughed. “I think all kids have their moments.”
“Definitely.” There were a few seconds of awkward silence before she said, “Okay, well, good night, Sawyer.”
“Before you go, I wanted to ask you a question,” Sawyer said.
Girl, yes! Your butt has convinced him to try again.
She ignored her inner voice and gave Sawyer a polite smile. “The answer is still no. You seem like a good guy, Sawyer, but I don’t have time to date right now.”
“Actually, I was going to ask if you had any ideas on wedding gifts for Ford and Stella. They didn’t do a wedding registry, and I’m stumped on a gift idea,” Sawyer said.
Her cheeks turned crimson as embarrassment rushed over her. Oh God, she was such an idiot.
“Oh God, I’m such an idiot,” she said. “I… I’m so sorry for assuming. I shouldn’t have done that, and now I look like I’m full of myself, but I’m not. I swear.”
He gave her an easy-going grin. “It’s all good, Jocelyn. Don’t worry about it. Any thoughts on a gift?”
“I think a gift certificate to Halsey’s would be a hit. It’s their favourite restaurant.”
“Perfect,” he said. “Thanks for your help.”
She nodded before clearing her throat. “Sorry again for being so presumptuous. I’m really embarrassed.”
“Don’t be,” he said. “I think you’re hot and would like to go on a date with you, but I know you don’t feel the same, and I respect that. I’m good with being friends.”
He pulled his keys from his pocket and headed toward his vehicle. “I’ll pop by this week and check out your bookstore.”
“See you then,” she said.
She climbed into her car, watching as Sawyer drove away before groaning and covering her face with her hands. She was feeling stupid, but what she absolutely wasn’t feeling was disappointment that Sawyer was fine with being just friends.
How are you enjoying swimming in that sea of denial, sweetheart?
“What’s wrong, Mama?” Ethan asked.
“Nothing, honey. Mama just said something silly to Sawyer, and I’m a little embarrassed.”
