Little blue door box set, p.7
Little Blue Door Box Set, page 7
‘So, how do you know beautiful Melo?’ Nico said. He threw one arm around my shoulders and gave a squeeze. He wasn’t that much taller than me which made me feel like we were two naughty children looking up at our father. I quickly shrugged him off, but I was left with his woody scent lingering around my head.
‘I don’t really.’ Anton said. That hurt. He was looking right at me too.
During our one evening together we had opened up. We had told each other so much. It had meant something. I didn’t know how to respond.
‘Well, I – ’
‘It was nice to see you again.’ His tone was flat. He attempted a smile but most of his face looked numb and didn’t move. Assuming he wasn’t coming from a Botox appointment, it was safe to say that was that. ‘See you around, Nico.’ Anton said with a nod. He walked off towards Gaia, who had watched the whole thing with her mouth half-open.
‘Do you know each other?’ I looked from Anton’s back to Nico’s arrogant face.
‘Melo, it’s a small tourist resort – What do you think?’
I started to scurry away, wishing myself to be as invisible as one of the stray cats; just part of the scenery.
‘Going so soon?’ Nico called in my wake.
I started marching while desperately trying to stop my flip-flops from loudly slapping the scorching pavement. I had to march past the front entrance. I stayed close to the wall so they probably couldn’t see me. I was mortified by the whole experience. That was it – I hadn’t gained the peace I had been looking for. I’d had enough. I was going home.
Chapter 10
I had managed to book another flight, but it didn’t leave for a few days. There were still fewer people flying in the world, so fewer flights to hop on. I decided to spend the evening thrusting clothes into my suitcase while drinking limoncello on ice. I froze; I was sure I heard something. Then again, definitely a little knock. I twisted at my opal ring with my thumb as I crept down the stairs. The door wasn’t locked; I had no real protection.
‘Hello?’ I called as I edged towards the door.
There was no answer. I pressed my back to the cool white wall, looking around for a weapon better than my phone.
‘It’s me, Anton.’
I was suddenly moving, darting around the room, a couple of paces in each direction like a caged predator. There was nothing to do but invite him in and calm down. Remember to sip drinks not spit drinks.
‘Come in!’
The door opened and there he was. It felt like his only purpose in life was to make my heart feel like it was going to implode under its own weight. His stubble was a little more beard and his emerald eyes were just that: cold stones. He was looking through me.
‘Gaia said these are yours.’ He walked further into the room and carefully placed my sunglasses onto the coffee table. He turned to leave, but I couldn’t let him go this time. I needed to know him more and I didn’t care about logic.
‘Wait, please. I can’t stop thinking about you! Please!’
He turned to face me, but his stone eyes hadn’t changed.
‘I thought I was a complication.’
‘You are.’ Half of my mouth curled up. ‘Apparently I’m drawn to complexity.’ I shrugged a little, trying to seem cute and not tipsy from the limoncello.
‘I have a daughter and I don’t like you using us. I hadn’t told her about our…whatever it was. After this afternoon, after you ran away from her, I had to tell her something. You ran away from her! I haven’t told her about anyone I’ve seen since her mother died.’ There was heat in his voice and his hands were the only part of him that was animated, going from tense and flat to giant fists.
I could feel my throat closing up. I wanted to let excuses overflow. I wanted to pour them out of me. Anything to get him to look at me the way he had before. I also wanted to know exactly how many women he had seen.
‘She followed me to Silver Star. I didn’t ask her… She’s a credit to you by the way.’
‘Do you know what the worst part is?’ His heavy brows were drawn together.
I shook my head frightened to find out the answer.
‘She liked you.’
I swallowed my urge to cry. I knew I had no right to cry. I was wishing I hadn’t drunk so much.
‘I’m sorry. I like her too.’ I hadn’t thought I would. After the air had been cleared, she was quirky and charismatic. I could have easily spent the day in her company. ‘Would you like a drink? I have limoncello, I think.’
He hesitated, got his phone out of his pocket, presumably to check the time, then looked back to me.
‘Okay.’
As soon as he agreed, I darted towards the kitchen portion of the open-plan space. This had the advantage of being able to keep my eyes on him while I made his drink. I was afraid if I left the room, he would disappear and this would all be an alcohol-induced apparition.
‘Here,’ I said.
He had sat on one of the sofas. They were red, yellow and navy check dotted with round navy cushions. The one he sat on was large enough for me to sit next to him and still feel like I was giving him space. Like a kneading cat, I rubbed my fingers into the worn material.
He said, ‘So, who’s Nico to you?’
‘Oh God! My friend Maria decided it would be a fun idea to attempt to set me up with him. He couldn’t be more wrong for me.’ I held my hand to my face in memory of the whole night and looked at him through my fingers.
‘I think he likes you, you know.’ At last his face broke into a smile over his drink – the first real expression since he had arrived.
‘I think he likes any woman with a pulse!’
‘You don’t know how beautiful you are, do you?’
I was taken aback by this comment. Maybe I didn’t. Like most women, I was highly self-critical: too thin, too fat, never just right. He just came out with it too. He had honesty in a way most people don’t, because they’re too guarded to release their feelings readily.
‘I don’t know…’
‘You are the most alluring woman I’ve ever met. When I hit my head on you at the airport, you stunned me. Even with half your face covered. Gamoto,’ he said under his breath and rubbed his beard, ‘I haven’t stopped thinking about you from then to now. And you’re so clumsy! It makes me want to laugh at you and protect you, and even my daughter thinks you’re beautiful and kind, if a little strange. Unique.’ He wasn’t looking at me, as though ranting to himself, or perhaps his glass. He drank its contents and placed it onto the table. ‘I’ve got to go. I’d still like to know you more, even if it must be as friends.’
I was still a little stunned myself. I managed to nod and I think I managed to say yes.
‘What’s your number?’ he asked.
I took his phone, put my number in it and rang my phone to check it and, of course, so I had his.
‘There. Now you can find me when you like. I think you’re beautiful too, you know. Inside and out.’ My words were bashful, stupid, cliché and paled in the shadow of his, but they were true. I was clutching my knees; I was still in my denim shorts from the day. He stood up and stretched a hand towards me to help me up. I took it and he pulled me towards him. He kissed me. He kissed me harder than before and held me tighter. I clutched the sleeve of his shirt in one hand and the back of his neck with the other, running my fingers across the bottom of his hairline. A delightful shudder ran down my spine. He released me, and our faces hovered an inch or so from each other. I had been stretching on my tiptoes. I let my feet fall back to the ground. He looked me in the eyes as though he was searching for an answer, then gently leant forward and pressed his lips to mine once more. He started to walk towards the door.
‘Oh, by the way, Gaia asked me to tell you, she remembered who it was.’ And with that, he left.
Needless to say, I couldn’t sleep. I might never sleep again. I sat up on the edge of the bed with the bedside lamp on. Venus was watching over me as I debated whether I should message him. No – I didn’t want to seem desperate. The problem with that was I’d never felt this way before. I almost did feel desperate. Just desperate to run my fingers along the hairs on his forearm and up toward the back of his neck again. When I was around him my body was on fire and my soul froze still. Everything was in a muddle, calm but magnetic, determined but lost. I wanted to tell Mama the whole stupid story. I needed to tell someone. I wandered down the stairs and sat at the breakfast bar looking across to where we had sat. I ran my fingers through my hair then pulled it tight. I got up again and walked out of the front door. The sea was gently crashing on the sand. I sat down on the edge of the beach, toes touching crunchy seaweed. I inhaled the coarse, salty tang deep into my lungs. I sent him a simple message:
Thinking of you.
It was true, and I didn’t feel like playing games. After ten minutes with no response, I told myself he was likely asleep. It was almost midnight after all. With no one around but the night sky, I got up, slipped off my nightie and walked into the sea. The cool water made me shudder, but it was what I needed to take the edge off the heat he’d left me with. I lay back and looked up at the stars, floating on the waves. The sound of a car door slamming woke me out of my trance. I stood up in the water; it only came up to my waist so I sank into it. The car was outside my house. I could see the lights. Suddenly I could hear my phone ringing. I just stood there in the water, unable to bring myself to move. In the peace of the night, I could hear footsteps cut through, crunching down the dirt path from the house to the seaweed. I could see his silhouette, instantly recognisable.
The thin moon shone brightly, as it so often does in a cloudless sky. He stood for a moment watching me. I was a little way out – it still wasn’t very deep where I was stood. He pulled his shirt over his head in one easy movement to reveal his firm torso in the dim light. His chest was covered in a light smattering of hair. In a second swift move he was naked too and walking towards me with the confidence of a man who had every reason to hold his head up high. I saw his body tighten as the waves crept up his thighs. I hadn’t made any intentional movements – I just bobbed about with my mouth agape. Occasionally, the sea seemed to nudge me in his direction. I didn’t know what to think – one side of me wanted him to come over to me, hold me, take me. The other side was scandalised by the whole thing.
Neither of us said a word. He ran his wet fingers through my hair and across my jawline. He sank into the water to meet my eyes, carefully pulling me close, still eye to eye. Our wet bodies pressed together. I tentatively put my hands to his solid collarbone, tracing a line with my fingers to make sure he was real. Still no words had been spoken, but so much had been said. He moved in and kissed me, slowly, his warm mouth breathing life and heat into my body. His hands ran once more down my back, this time finding their way across my curves to lift me up into a delightful embrace, weightless in the hands of the sea. My fingers were running lines through his hair, my arms were about his neck.
Before our souls decided to dissolve further into the sea, he spoke.
‘You’re freezing.’ Wrapping his arms firmly around me, holding our slippery bodies tightly together. ‘We should go indoors.’
I nodded but still couldn’t find words to say. I slid from his torso like silk on silk before we walked hand in hand towards the house, collecting our clothes on the way.
I leapt upstairs to grab some towels from the cupboard, pausing to look in the mirror and mouth “What on earth” at myself before running back down the creaky wooden stairs.
‘Here you go, here you go, here you go!’ I chanted as I threw the towel at him. My jaw was clenched and my arms were covered in goosebumps as the air conditioning came back on. Anton was suddenly shy. He was holding himself, as though he were in a line-up in front of a football goal. He, of course, had to let go to catch the towel. I watched him as he wrapped it about his waist.
‘I have to say, I am pretty surprised to see you back here so soon,’ I said, as I sat down in the middle of the stairs.
‘It wasn’t exactly planned. I got your message and, I don’t know…’ He walked over to the sofa and sat down.
I got up again and eagerly followed.
‘I just got in my van and here I am. I should probably go.’
‘No, stay!’ I quickly lay my head on his lap and put my feet up on the arm of the sofa. I was looking up at him, smiling, and he returned my contented expression with his own. He started to stroke my matted hair.
‘What is it about you?’ His voice was soft and low.
More like what was it about him?
His fingers traced the outline of my face and down my neck. He could probably feel the speed of my pulse.
‘Would you like a coffee?’
We sat in our towels clutching our matching white coffee cups. He was still on the sofa and I parked myself on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, looking up at him.
‘Gaia is beautiful. She’s determined that I look like someone she knows.’
‘I can’t imagine there are two women as striking as you.’
I lifted an eyebrow at him over my cup.
‘Really?’
‘You own a mirror, yes?’ He sent his eyebrows wiggling right back at me.
‘Well, I’m glad you think so. I’m very intrigued as to who apparently looks like me though.’
‘You’ll have to ask her when you see her.’
My heart squeezed. What was this and where was it going? I would stay until my later flight, but that was still only around two weeks away. Perhaps it was not the time to over-think or worry about the future. If the pandemic had taught me one small thing, it was that life can change at a moment’s notice, or with no notice at all.
‘I shall, if I’m allowed to spend time with her.’
‘It’s funny, ten years since I lost my wife and I’ve only dated two women in that time. Gaia didn’t know about either of them. I worried that it would hurt her. But she was pleased I was moving on. We spoke a lot this afternoon, when you left.’
‘I bet she thought I was insane running away from her like that. I just panicked. I didn’t want you thinking I was some bunny boiler talking to your daughter.’
‘She was confused, but then just thought it was really funny. She told me about the soap too.’ He leant his elbows on his knees and gave a low laugh.
‘Well, I’m glad I’m a source of entertainment for you both.’
He was still chuckling to himself as he put his mug down.
‘I don’t know where this is going. I know you live in England. But is it okay if we don’t think about that? You’re the only woman I’ve opened up to in ten years. I can’t explain why that might be, but I’m not willing to just ignore it.’
He got up and placed himself on the floor next to me, with long legs outstretched and resting on one muscular arm. The coffee table sat in the corner of a large navy blue, bobbly rug that he was lying on. I turned and instinctively kissed him. We slid down and lay next to each other in a warm embrace. It was very late, and I fell asleep in the comfort of his warm arms. I had never felt more safe, and less alone, in my life.
Chapter 11
I woke up with a start as Anton sat bolt upright.
‘Gamoto!’ He jumped up from our pile of white towels. ‘What time is it?’ He continued his rampage in Greek, while nearly falling over to put his pants and shorts on.
I groped around to find my phone.
‘It’s 9:34.’
He didn’t answer me. He just grabbed at his things.
‘Ant… Ant… Ant… ANTON!’ He stopped and actually looked at me. ‘Your shirt is inside out.’
He looked down bewildered and burst into laughter, rubbing his face.
‘Efcharistó.’ He came back to me, knelt down and kissed me. ‘Tonight? Beachcombers? Eight? Do you want me to pick you up?’ He was moving towards the door.
‘Yes, please!’ I called after him, and with a smile of beautifully straight teeth, he was gone. Like a dream or a distant memory. I lay back on the floor, holding our towels. They were still warm from our sleeping coil and smelt of him. I couldn’t define the smell – it was unique, masculine, mixed with the fresh salt of the sea. I stared at the ceiling for over an hour, recalling each moment I had been with him in a place somewhere between asleep and waking. I Pondered how he was confident and strong and gentle and unsure. I conjured his face in my mind’s eye. Last night he had a scruffy beard and the hair on the very top of his head was all messy. It was endearing. I drew the lines of his warm eyes, tiny wrinkles at the corners, mostly when he smiled, and his strong, facial bones dulled down by his beard… to his wide, strong shoulders and beautifully toned torso, not overworked, and with a trail of hair drawing the eye down. I remembered the feel of his… My phone started to buzz. It was Anton:
Sorry I had to rush away, work. Gave Gaia your number. See you tonight.
I wondered why. It was nice that he trusted me though. The day went quicker than I’d expected, mostly absorbed in trying on every item of clothing as I unpacked my bag again. None of my underwear was overly attractive but luckily it was all just plain. I hadn’t expected to have the requirement to worry about such things while I was in Corfu. In the end I went simple all over. A dress that was the colour of his eyes, and covered in large white spots. It had spaghetti straps with a straight neckline to it. A little white belt pulled at my waist and the fabric melted around my hips; short, but not too short. More that it was short because I was tall, not because it was designed that way. It was just enough to show off my long, tanned legs without the worry of embarrassment. I wore my squeaky stilettos and hoped that with different acoustics and flooring it wouldn’t be such an issue. They were white and pointed. I hadn’t worn them all that much before but they were my “lucky” shoes. Mama and I had been shopping in Cambridge, looking for something to wear to a wedding reception. We found the white shoes, but we weren’t at all sure about them at first. In the end, they were all that looked good with the monochrome dress I’d picked out for the occasion. I found my last boyfriend at that wedding. I also wore them to meet an important Instagram client and to teach a seminar called “You and Your Social’s Life”, which gained me a lot of momentum in my career. Mama was the one who started to call them my lucky shoes. I couldn’t not wear them. Even if they didn’t feel very nice on my poor toe, the discomfort was worth it. I was hoping not to choke or fall into anything for a change.
