The sell, p.11
The Sell, page 11
For years I’d read about how bad Diet Coke and aspartame are, but the information went in one ear and out the other. I recently kicked the habit. It was tough, but I thought, I’m drinking this black liquid. What is all that chemical stuff? Then I stopped. The second day I had a headache, which by the third day grew to be incredibly painful. I got more motivated by the headache, almost enjoyed it, because I knew that was a sign the chemicals were leaving my body. After the third day, my headache disappeared, I became more energetic, and I’ve been sleeping really well at night. The surprise benefit is that I have a lot fewer urges for sugar.
It was a doable task. I made a commitment to myself, and I have been true to that commitment. I’m no hero for gosh sakes, but I do feel proud of myself. Too often we try to take on too many things at once. We think, I’m going to lose twenty pounds, stop smoking, start going to the gym, get a new job, spice up my relationship, and look for a new house. And then we wonder why we fail. If you try too much at once, it’s a fiasco. Don’t make the “New Year’s resolution” mistake and try to change your life all at once. Take one at a time. Two or three weeks in, when you feel accomplished in one goal, move on to the next.
I’m not a doctor or a nutritionist, and I’m not giving you medical advice. But I will tell you I take a multivitamin every morning. I also take an odorless garlic tablet, flaxseed oil, and fish-liver oil at bedtime. During my teenage years, I used to get sick often, but I never get sick anymore. I also always stock up on Emergen-C. Any time I’m traveling on a plane, I take one at takeoff and one at landing. It’s loaded with vitamin C and energizing B, D, and E vitamins.
What I don’t do is eat things that I know are going to make me feel bad or make me fat. And you shouldn’t either. I listen to my body. I like the taste of orange juice, but it’s all sugar and sends me into a frenetic tailspin. So, I steer clear. I also don’t do french fries, white bread, and white rice because they’re fattening and full of empty calories. Pizza must be the worst food invention in the world: melted cheese, oil, and white bread, all of which don’t really contain anything good for you. I also don’t ruin a fabulously nutritious salad by dousing it in cholesterol-laden, fattening dressing. I use a little olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and a squeeze of lemon instead. I used to eat protein bars thinking that they were healthy. I guess some of them are okay, but replacing every other meal with a glorified chocolate cake with added protein turns into a bad habit quickly. I simply try to stay away from any factory food. I also used to go to the movies and get those nachos with the fake cheese. Mmmmm . . . I loved that. But I always felt sick and disgusted afterward. So, I said, “Adios, nachos.”
I also want to share my theory on ordering at a restaurant. Just how the first thirty seconds of your morning sets the tone for your day, your thirty-second answer to “Can I take your order?” is going to have a ripple effect on not just the next twenty-four hours, but your entire life, too. The only time to change your life is today. Try this trick: While holding that big, folded menu in your hands, think about how you would answer after the meal. At the end of dinner, if you had to order again, you’d order differently. Because you are full, too full, you feel guilty. You would select something healthier—something you know is good for you. So, when that waiter asks, “What will you have?,” choose your words as though it’s two hours later.
We’ve all asked ourselves, Why did I eat that? Is your blood sugar normal? Do you have heartburn? Feel like a six-day-old cream puff? Do you have gas? Do you need to run to the bathroom? Do you secretly pinch to see if you can feel belly fat under the table? Do you suck in your stomach while leaving the restaurant? Do you wake up in the middle of night hurting?
Are there times I’ve overeaten? Gone off the rails? Absolutely. I sat in bed the other night and ate a bag of potato chips while watching Godzilla, and I’m not referring to Fritzy. But I make those moments the exception, not the rule. I’m six foot four, and I’m almost two hundred pounds, but I don’t have a lot of body fat. I can’t wait until I’m eighty-three years old, wearing a grass hat and sitting under an olive tree with a big bowl of pasta and a bottle of white wine behind my giant mansion outside Venice. I live an active, crazy life, and I do eat a lot. My calorie intake is high. When I go to restaurants, I apologize to everyone at the table and usually order two starters and a main course. I always pick one starter containing 100 percent protein, like tuna tartare or beef carpaccio, and then one salad. The main is almost always fish, the biggest, whitest fish they have, and preferably grilled. Sometimes I add chicken or a second fish if the plates are small.
Desserts are a complete fiasco. No, I mean like a total disaster every time. You have to live, I know. Most of us have a sweet tooth. My business partner, John, is obsessed with sweets as much as he is obsessed with money. For a long time, he actually developed a problem habit. He used to go from his apartment every night in a cab and travel forty blocks to get his favorite chocolate cake, in a paper box, and bring it home and eat it in his kitchen. He just couldn’t stop, until he realized it had become a sickness.
I’m not going to tell you to take the joy out of life by never eating dessert again. But just know the aftereffects. The first spoonful is incredible, we all agree, but by the fourteenth spoonful it’s not really doing much for you. I never, ever, order desserts. I let the others do so, and then I have one little taste of theirs. That’s it. I get 90 percent of the enjoyment but 0 percent of the guilt or stomach fat.
In the end, you are what you eat. And if that doesn’t make you want to eat well, try this on for size: A study based on data from the US Bureau of Labor Statistics found that the paychecks of obese workers are about 2.5 percent less than the paychecks of their thinner counterparts in the same professions. So, eat as if your life (and your bank account) depends on it. Look down at that plate, and think, That’s me lying there. Open your mouth, and give it one last look. Do you want to become a lean, fast-swimming fish, or a clump of melted cheese?
Now dig in.
SLEEP
It is estimated that nearly 75 percent of American adults experience some sort of sleeping disorder. Most people I know in New York complain of having insomnia at least a couple of nights a week. Does that make you yawn? Researchers have found that sleeping too little—less than six hours a night—is one of the biggest predictors of on-the-job burnout. A study by Harvard estimated that American companies are losing more than $63 billion a year in productivity due to sleep deprivation.
According to a poll conducted by the National Sleep Foundation, more than one-third of Americans say their sleepiness interferes with their daily life. I think the other two-thirds are lying (or fell asleep from exhaustion while filling in the form).
I take sleep very seriously. I’m obsessive about it, and you should be, too. A successful person can’t afford to be sleepy. Sleepy is unsexy, unexciting, and unproductive. All of which costs money! It makes me anxious to know I’m not going to get more than six hours of sleep in a night, because I know it’s bad for me, for my health, for my looks, and for my presentation. Everything is a fiasco with no sleep.
Some people are proud to say they don’t need much sleep. “I only have to sleep three hours a night!” they brag. I always look at them like they are insane, since they probably are. Who in their right mind wouldn’t let their mind and body rest?
I love early mornings but know I need eight hours of quality sleep, which means if I’m getting up at 5:30 A.M. I like to be in bed at 9:45 P.M. That’s fine with me. Call me old and boring, but call me a multimillionaire. I am not interested in staying up to watch the late-night shows. If it’s a really interesting show, DVR it and watch it the next day. The only late show I’m interested in is Sleeping with Fredrik Eklund. Trust me, it’s a really interesting show.
You should also know what makes you the most comfortable when you sleep. It’s a very individual thing. I like to sleep on the right side of the bed, on my stomach, with my head on a medium-soft pillow in a very cold bedroom and have my naked body covered in soft sheets and a down comforter. For years I couldn’t afford a decent mattress, so when I finally could, I got one with a memory-foam top. After a week, Mousey developed a skin rash with big, nasty bumps all over her soft little body, which I soon discovered was an allergic reaction to the chemicals in the mattress. I was furious, and Mousey was itchy. The company said to give it a few weeks and the chemicals would dissipate. Yes, right into my lungs, I thought. I threw the mattress out. And then I let Mousey pee on it. I’m very happy with my all-natural (and Swedish) Hästens horsehair mattress and so is Mousey. It wicks away the moisture, and you’re never hot and never cold. And no horses or dogs were harmed making it. Invest in a mattress that is right for you. You’re going to spend one-third of your life on top of it, and the other two-thirds of your life depends on it.
It took me thirty-six years to realize the life-changing wonder of earplugs. Now that I know their silent magic and how to properly insert them—roll each plug into a skinny little tube and pull up on your ear to slide it into your ear canal—I’ll put them in every night for the rest of my life, even when I sleep by myself. I figured out that if someone can see the plug in your outer ear, it’s not really in tight enough. Now that I know how to properly insert them, no sound disturbs me—not panting dogs, snoring husband, screeching sirens, whining air conditioner, or rowdy street noise.
I’ve forgotten them a few times while traveling, and it was a disaster. One time I tried to make my own with napkins on a United flight, and I could clearly hear the flight attendants giggling at the six-foot-four TV star with napkins sprouting from his ears like paper flowers. Please don’t make the same mistake. Buy a pair and see if you sleep more soundly.
Find your tricks to help you fall asleep. Drink a glass of warm milk. Have sex. Go on a long walk. Take a steamy, hot bath. Read Nietzsche. When I have trouble getting there, I lie on my back and visualize relaxing my body parts from my toes to my head, trying to feel that there’s space between the mattress and my body. I imagine there’s a thin layer of air below me and I’m ever so slightly floating above the mattress. By that time, I’m falling asleep. I breathe in, filling my lungs with crisp, blue air. I breathe out red-hot air, breathe in blue, breathe out red, breathe in blue . . .
Let’s get to the next chapter. This just put me to zzzzzzzzzzzz.
CHAPTER 6
MAKE ’EM SMILE
Cultivate Your Charm and Sense of Humor
The second time I met Justin Timberlake was with Jessica Biel, and we were all squeezing into a tiny little elevator in a building on Nineteenth Street. I immediately looked down at Jessica’s shoes, pointed, and said, “I’m obsessed with your shoes! No, I mean really, really obsessed.” Here’s what that accomplished in about five seconds. It said to her, You’ve got great taste. It said to him, And you’ve got nothing to worry about. It said to both of them, I’m a funny character. We instantly connected, and they were thinking, We like this guy, Fredrik Eklund, who is walking us into this multimillion-dollar home. By the way, I met Justin a few years earlier when he was with Cameron Diaz. That time I high-kicked in front of Cameron up on the rooftop terrace in the sunset and told her to watch my profile. The kick always looks amazing in profile.
YOU’VE GOT THIRTY SECONDS
I believe that the first thirty seconds of meeting someone sets the tone for the rest of your time together, whether that ends up being five minutes or fifty years. Read that sentence again because it is a strong one. Yes, you have thirty seconds to capture someone’s attention. Perhaps that means I might come off as a character—so be it. But I believe successful people are (and should be) a little larger than life.
Perhaps the biggest deal of my life—meeting Derek—happened within my thirty-second rule, so of course I’m going to tell you the story.
I had basically given up on love. I’d spent my years in New York working and secretly feared that I might be forever single. So I traveled to Greece alone. And on one of my last vacation days in Mykonos, a place I’d always felt destined to go, I saw this six-foot-five guy from behind. He was the only guy taller than me, but I didn’t know what he looked like. I went up to him and tapped on his shoulder. When he turned around, I said, “Why are you so tall? I don’t understand.” He looked very confused. He smiled. I then continued, “I grew up on Swedish meatballs, which made me tall. What did you eat?” In those first thirty seconds, I had made a good impression and more than a friend.
Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Be smart about how you use that time. Not many people break the ice and take charge in the first thirty seconds of meeting. The person who does controls the moment and sets the tone for not just that encounter, but also for the relationship for a long time to come. A positive tone.
My theory is that everyone in the room—even the most boring person—secretly wants to laugh and have fun. I’m here to tell you there is no rule against having fun and being professional at the same time. Many years ago I told John that our number one goal in business was to have a good time and that we had to crack ourselves up at least once every day. Laughing until we cry. And we have. Yesterday in a very serious meeting on the forty-first-floor conference room with a view over the entire city, we started laughing so hard we actually cried. I don’t even remember why we started laughing, and that really is the beauty of laughter. It’s highly contagious. Suddenly, everyone in the room was crying with laughter, without anyone really knowing why, and then that becomes even funnier, because no one knows why everyone else is laughing.
You only have one life, and laughing will not only make you live longer, but will also help you attract money like a magnet.
Let me get serious and tell you the health benefits of laughter. A recent study by cardiologists at the University of Maryland Medical Center found that people with heart disease were 40 percent less likely to laugh than people the same age without heart disease. Need more reasons? Laughter has been proven to boost the immune system, trigger the release of “feel good” endorphins, and relieve physical tension and stress. Laughing is sexy. Everybody wants to laugh more than anything. Everybody wants to be with somebody who makes them laugh. When looking for love, most people will say they want to find someone who makes them laugh.
Further, humor is infectious. Infectious in a good way. When laughter is shared, it brings people together and helps them connect. In business and in life, rapport is everything. If you’re the one at work who makes others feel good with your sense of humor and charisma, that’s cash in your pocket. My funniness is part of . . . no, it’s the core of my winning formula.
When I’m about to enter a conference room filled with people, I stop for a second outside the door. I grab the door handle and close my eyes, and I let my body be filled with joy. I tickle myself. Maybe a little kick. I visualize laughter, and then I open the door with a big smile. Regardless of what is going on in there, I physically jump into the room like a happy child and scream out, “Hi there!” All heads turn, and I open my arms. “I’m here! Good to see you all.” And, once again, a big smile.
You, my high-kicker, want to be remembered for being the person who brightens the mood in the room. Truly successful people are happy (I’m not talking about money!), and only people who love what they do are truly happy. Happy people are winners. Happy makes happy. A sense of humor and charisma is great for business. Everyone wants to be around and work with happy people—and buy what they’re selling. Are you following me? Humor and charm immediately put you on a pedestal; the person or people you’re with might be more experienced, more successful, or more famous than you, but you have something they all want: energy and happiness. And that’s contagious.
CHARM 101
Everyone is born with varying amounts of natural charisma, but charm can be acquired through practice. Since a lot of people on social media have asked me how to attract people and get people to like you, let’s go to Freddy’s Charm School.
Charm, my friends, is the art of having an appealing personality. Though I do know successful rude people, I always think their success will be temporary or at least empty because they are unhappy. We’re more likely to build great personal and professional relationships with people we like, people who are agreeable, nice, funny. . . . In short, charming people get their way. You already know this, but then why are there so few funny and happy people out there? Our entire lives we have been told to tone it down. I’m here to tell you to tone it up.
Let me show you how I charm people on the phone. When I call United Airlines or the Ritz-Carlton or my cable company, I’ll say to the person on the other end (who is probably stuck behind a desk in a windowless call center somewhere far away), “Hi! Where are you today?” They’ll say, “Seattle.” I’ll say, “Oh, a call center or working from home?” They’ll say, “Call center.” I’ll say, “Well, you’re almost home.” If we’re talking about my travel plans or I’m booking a hotel, I’ll ask, “You want to come with me? You can fit in my bag!” They’ll laugh and say, “I wish!” Customers are often rude to customer service phone representatives. If you’re nice, you’re getting more than the guy who isn’t. You’re probably getting your way. Besides which, it just feels better. It’s better karma. Why have an unpleasant encounter when you can have a pleasant one?
That’s why I’m also always nice to the people in Starbucks. Instead of just barking out my order, I’ll ask, “What’s your name?” Or “How’s your day going?” People don’t ask. People don’t care. And being fellow humans, we should. It only takes a moment to make an investment in others, and then they’re definitely more willing to make an investment in us. If that means they put a little extra love in making my coffee or just a smile, it perpetuates a charmed day. It gives each of us a pause between all the noise. I want to be the nice guy who is remembered amid all that rush, and you, high-kicker, want to be the nicely remembered one, too.
