The sell, p.16
The Sell, page 16
7. Engage with others. I like people’s posts, like actually like them with my thumbs up. I like the comments people make on my posts, each and every one, even though sometimes there are thousands of comments on my post. It might take half an hour, but I acknowledge that I’ve read their comment with my like. When I have time, I try to reply to people’s comments. Social media is one big monologue sometimes, where we all stand in a corner of the room looking at one another but talking to ourselves. Go to the middle of the room and talk to everyone; connect with your followers. So few people realize that this can and should be a dialogue. Everyone wants to be heard, validated, and to have a connection. That’s making The Sell!
Don’t make the mistake that some salespeople do and expect buyers to walk in the door and hand over their money. Why are you on social media? If it’s to keep your parents updated on your whereabouts and what you’re doing in life, then perhaps call them instead? I’m quite sure your mom will like that more. Tell her I said hi. But if you want to sell your cupcakes, your advertising space, your book, yourself, you need to learn how to play this game and do it with style. You must start building your followers before your competition does. As social media evolves, the correlation between your follower engagement and your bottom-line results will become even clearer. There will be a direct correlation between how well you engage your followers and your bottom-line results. To me, social media is The Sell.
But, perhaps most important, those slalom gates (my posts on social media) that I place in front of me and have left on the trail behind me do two rewarding things for my life at the same time, one on the surface and one deeper down at the spiritual core. The pendulum swings between the two.
1. Social media helps me look forward. In some weird way, social media actually helps me make decisions that will lead to a happier life. I know that some people won’t like the idea of making their choices based on what a bunch of faceless strangers say, but the reality is that your followers like what you like. That’s why they like you. Therefore, if you can figure out what they like, you will probably like it, too.
I have friends who pick out clothes based on what they like to be photographed in. The question is, “Would I want to stare at a photo of myself in this outfit for the rest of my life?” If the answer is yes, they know they are buying something that will make them look good and feel good.
I sometimes choose my travel destinations based on where I think I’ll get the most likes. Hawaii or Ohio? Hmmmm? Why? Because my followers are my second family, and they know me and where I should go. When I am on the romantic medieval bridge in the sunset, I’m there in that moment, that particular moment, but it will become really special when I post it, write a caption that perfectly describes it, share it, and create the map of where I should go next. An extreme example would be Fredrik at a bar equals not so many likes. Fredrik kissing his grandma equals a thousand likes. Grandma always wins over cocktails. Given that social media is about connection and engagement, it makes us steer our lives toward the positive, the truly important things in life.
2. Social media helps me look back. In the unlucky, and hopefully unlikely, event I get into a car accident and I’m in a wheelchair, I’ll have a lot of material to go back and relive. I’ve captured some truly amazing moments and lived life fully. My social media is proof of that. Life is a series of heartbeats. Every beat, every second, is soon in the past and flashes by us so quickly that all these photos, these captions, these comments and likes compose a personal journal. It’s yours. No one can take it away from you. There’s no way to get the past back, but I have lots of heartbeats to look back on. The posts are of the most important events of my life. Yes, I post three to five things a day, and usually the three to five most important parts of my day. In a wild world, where everything moves so fast and we all consume so much information, if nothing else, I feel that I have this vault of my wonderful moments.
If nothing else, there’s one thing that makes your social media effort worthwhile: Look at it as your colorful diary, which also can make you money. Now, go post something and tag me in it.
CHAPTER 8
PITCH PERFECT
Learn to Accentuate the Positive (about Yourself and What You Have to Offer)
I was in the elevator on the way up to the biggest pitch of my life, the grande dame of all pitches. It bothered me that there was no mirror in the elevator. I had to check my hair in the unfocused reflection of the door’s metal frame. I had picked my outfit carefully for my audience, not wanting to look too fancy or too preppy. I had skipped a tie to appear casual, calm, and confident. But I felt everything but calm and confident. I was nervous, as I knew this pitch would alter the course of my life.
As the elevator door opened, I saw the door to the room in front of me. I could hear my heartbeat. I went over the questions in my head. Why do you deserve this? Why are you better than anyone else? Why do you think this will work? Are you sure you won’t disappoint us? Do you understand that what you are asking from us cannot be taken back? I was so nervous that for a split second I couldn’t remember any of the answers, even though I had thought about it for days. I moved my hand toward the door handle and momentarily hesitated. Either this pitch was going to work out and I was going to leave the room as the happiest man in the world, or I was going to walk out the same door I was about to enter as a failure, and for the rest of my life I would look back and wish I had pitched myself better.
I lifted my chin, smiled my biggest smile, and opened the door to say “Hi!” to Derek’s mother and father.
SELLING THE DREAM
There are many definitions of what a pitch is. My definition of a pitch when it comes to selling is what happens in the first ten minutes of the initial meeting. Although a pitch meeting can sometimes take hours, more often than not the outcome is decided in the first ten minutes, no matter how long it is. In the eleventh minute or so, the pitch is turning into something slightly different, more of a negotiation, because the buyer, seller, or whoever your counterpart is has already made a decision (in his or her head) and has started looking for the best terms in the transaction.
On the first page of this book, I wrote that a lot in life can be sold, negotiated, and transacted but that some things are sacred and priceless. Like love. That’s true, but we do pitch ourselves to our loved ones every day. And sometimes to our loved ones’ parents. I knew that the first ten minutes with Derek’s parents would be the most important ten minutes of my life. Not only was I going to ask them if I could marry their son, but I also wanted to have him move from them in the United Kingdom to be with me in New York.
Asking someone for what you want or telling someone what you have to offer can be scary. But if we want to be successful in this world, we all have to do it. And do it well, many times a day. Because pitching is offering something in hopes of an investment in money, time, and/or emotions by the other party, and it’s often an anxiety fest that requires a lot of finesse, forethought, nerve, and skill. Our ability to obtain the things we want and achieve great success is directly correlated with our ability to influence others to like us, our ideas, and our products or services.
I’ve pitched my selling skills to Donald Trump, my on-screen services to Andy Cohen, and a future with Derek to his parents, and I’ve found that there is one common thread. Whether you’re asking your boss for a raise, proposing your skills to a new client, showing a buyer a $10 million apartment, or convincing your wife to hire a housekeeper, the number one goal of a pitch is to get someone else excited enough to say yes.
If you’re looking to pitch anything to anyone, first get your counterpart to acknowledge the need you’re going to fulfill. Everyone would rather know what you can do for them than what you’ve done for someone else. There is a big difference between those two things. So, let me repeat it: Everyone you meet wants to know how you can benefit them, which needs you are fulfilling.
Some might say that I’m being cynical. But my view is exactly the opposite of pessimism. It’s actually very positive. Every person on the planet you have an encounter with—whether you’re pitching to him, talking to him, or just looking at him—wants to leave the meeting feeling better, not worse. Never forget that. And you have an opportunity to do exactly that, encounter by encounter, making this world a better place. If you’re making people feel better, they’re not only buying what you’re selling; they will be happier doing so.
The same is true for any pitch scenario. A pitch is your opportunity to introduce yourself, your idea, or your product to someone with scarce time and/or money. When you’re pitching, your job is to communicate to the other person: I’m going to make your life better. You need what I’ve got. You will hire me, buy from me, say you want to date me again, just be with me, build a future with me. And all that before I walk out that door. Why? Because I’ve shown you that I have our ladder up. It’s yours and mine—it’s our ladder together—and we are now going to use it to climb up above the clouds, where there is always sunshine. I want to solve your problems, be a part of helping your life grow, help you be better. You see the possibilities. So do I. Let’s do that. Now.
Now I want to take this one step further (up our ladder). Anyone can describe why a tasty cupcake, a new home, car, watch, or massage is great (or why they themselves are great). Anybody can describe how a product or service is high quality and well priced in the marketplace. That’s the easy part. The real secret to the perfect pitch is to sell the counterpart on the 2.0 versions of themselves—a new life, a new opportunity, a new luxury—which allows them to leave the older 1.0 versions behind. Change is good, especially the change that you are bringing. When a woman turns her nose up at a property because her old furniture won’t fit the style of the new apartment, I consider it a grand opportunity. My task, and my pitch, is to remind her that this is a new start. She’s trading up. She is moving forward, not sideways or backward. I paint the picture of how a new kitchen table, with new guests and better food, will look in that new spectacular apartment. “I’ll even come for dinner!” She smiles and doesn’t know whether I’m kidding. Then I put my arms up in the air, very animated and slightly theatrical: “Look at your guests sitting there! I can see you there with lots of guests. I can smell the food. Wow, I didn’t know you were such a good cook! I can hear you pouring the wine into the glasses, good choice of merlot! Mmmmmm, now I’m thirsty. I think we should go and have a glass of wine and celebrate!”
If I were pitching you to buy a used car because you couldn’t afford a new one, I might say, “It looks brand new at a third less cost! It won’t depreciate a dime when you drive it off the lot! That’s very smart of you.”
I recently had a client who was downsizing, and I knew it was because he needed cash, but if I’d said that to him, he would have never wanted me to help him. For anyone, downsizing because you’re out of money would be hugely disappointing. Instead, my objective was to take the situation and make it positive, to point out the good without mentioning the bad.
My pitch to him was to let me sell his big house and help him buy a smaller one, not because he had to but because it was going to be good for him on several levels. I told him, “You never needed all that space anyway. You haven’t even completely furnished it yet because you travel so much. Yes, you love traveling more than anything, right? Now you will be able to travel even more and not feel guilty about leaving that big apartment sitting empty. You’ll have a smaller apartment, but we’ll find one with a terrace. You always wanted outdoor space. This new neighborhood is a lot closer to all the restaurants and to the waterfront. You are done with that stuffy old area anyway. This is a fresh start in your life. I’m so excited for you. This is amazing! I’m getting goosie goosies just thinking about your new life. My grandmother always said you have to get rid of the old thing to receive the new. Yes, there you are, the new you; you are finally smiling! I knew you would be happy.”
I promised Derek’s parents in that room that day that I would make him the happiest man in the world, which is the most important thing to them. And I think I am still keeping that promise.
In real estate, I always try to remember to make the buyer or seller love not only the apartment or townhouse, but also the journey with me to get there. Of course the property itself will improve the customer’s life, but what I also need to pitch—in the pitch itself—is the decision itself. The process to actually hire me needs to be amazing. It all needs to be enjoyable, so I try to pitch in glamorous environments, nice restaurants, beautiful hotel lobbies, or at a picnic in Central Park on a sunny day. Remember, you’ve got competition nipping at your heels, trying for the same thing, whether it’s the coworker in the cubicle next to you, a rival seller at a competing firm, or another paramour in a dating scenario. So even dealing with you needs to be a step up in the counterparty’s world. Just watching and listening to you do your thing should be something they want to pay for. And when you are done, they need to want you to come back, just to be around you and have you pitch to them all day long (like a first date who wants a second!). Regardless of the situation, you need to feel sincere excitement in your heart about the possibilities, improvements, and new opportunities, and project that onto the person you’re trying to convince to buy what you’re selling. Trust me, even in the toughest situation, there is always a bright side. It’s all about optimism. You want to sing like a little bird, even when it’s raining.
What did I recently say to the frowning clients who couldn’t afford an $11 million townhouse on the Upper West Side of Manhattan and had to consider Brooklyn? I said, “You’re getting a better house for $4 million. This is a mansion! It’s only twenty-five minutes from Manhattan. With the money you save, you could take a car service every night the rest of your life and still have enough money to buy that condo in Miami. Besides, Brooklyn is where everyone wants to be right now anyway.”
You can always find the positive, even when a situation isn’t 100 percent peaches and cream. Just like life itself, there is something good even in the worst of situations. It’s my job to focus on the warm, not the cold. And you know what? It’s the best way to live life anyway. To always look at the glass half-full, not half-empty. And then share that glass with whomever is with you.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
Set your egg timer. If you’re sitting down with a first date, your boss to ask for a raise, or with a client to sell an apartment or your thingamajig, you’ve got ten minutes in a pitch to wow ’em and woo ’em. If you don’t, you’re cooked. Within that short time—from hello to the tenth minute—they’ve decided whether they are interested enough to move further. If, after those ten minutes, they’re wanting more, you’re already on to the next step: the negotiation (which is our next chapter).
Have you ever been on a first date? I’m betting you have at least once and that you remember it as a tricky operation that ended up in either great success or heartbreaking failure. On a first date, you second-guess your every move. You catch yourself fidgeting. You notice the deafening silence in your conversation. Your head fills with questions of Should I? or Shouldn’t I? The event, like a pitch, is a beginning or an end.
Let’s go on a date, you and me.
What has to happen first? I have to reach out and ask you on the date. How I go about that will hopefully elicit an enthusiastic yes because the other result is kind of a fiasco. . . . And there can be a noticeable bruising on the heart when someone tells you he or she isn’t interested.
Rather than calling you and asking, “Would you like to go out?” I’m calling you with a definitive idea, a plan. “Hi! How about some Pinot Noir at ABC Kitchen (my favorite restaurant in New York) at eight P.M. tomorrow?” I’ve offered you something specific that says something about me, shows I’m confident, but still with a question mark at the end.
“Yes!” you say.
That’s so much more effective, proactive, and certain than the deadly back-and-forth dancing of “When are you available?” Heads up: If someone does ask you this, be definitive. Make the decision. Don’t be wishy-washy. People appreciate and respect someone who can quickly make up his or her mind.
“Great, and I have something to tell you,” I say.
Bang! That’s the starter pistol. We’re set. You and I have a date. And I’ve dangled a carrot. You’re dying to know what I have to tell you, aren’t you?
Here’s the big secret about any kind of deal making: Every baby step you take is one move closer to making The Sell. It starts the moment you first make contact. So, when you want something from someone, your opening salvo better be alluring and tight because any pitch starts at hello. I didn’t just invite you for dinner. I strategically invited you to my favorite restaurant, arguably the best in New York, and I also created anticipation with my secret something to tell you. Similarly, if I were asking my boss for a raise, I’d suggest to her, “Could you meet with me Tuesday at two P.M. for ten minutes? I have an idea to improve our profitability.” That gets her attention and gets you the ten minutes.
Here’s how I use that same, simple technique to sell someone on a great apartment and investment. A buyer e-mails me to see one of my listings: “Can I see your apartment on Sullivan Street tomorrow morning?” I immediately e-mail back, “Calling you shortly.” Just like that. I don’t say yes or no. I leave the buyer waiting for my call.
