Aiden spots the roses on the bed the same time I do, “Oh yeah,” he moves, snatching them up. “It doesn’t take a fucking genius to guess who she got these from.”

  “No,” I tell him, “There is no way, not after last night.” I hear how desperate I sound, how much I need this to not be the truth.

  Aiden snorts, “What you think your cocks are so fucking magical that she’d stay for them? It didn’t work the last time.” He adds dryly.

  “No, this was different.” I try again, but the words ache to catch in my throat as I barely believe them myself.

  “You’re right, this was different. You should have fucking known better.” The anger is rolling off him, as he plucks a white envelope off her dresser. He pulls a card from it, eyes scanning it and then his face turns completely feral. “See you soon little Rose.” He reads aloud, his smile anything but humorous. “Still think she didn’t fuck you.”

  Aiden’s words sink into my gut, the weight of them drowning me, just the way they did that day when he came back from trying to save her. The day he changed forever.

  “Where the fuck have you been?” I ask Aiden as he storms into the den. His eyes are wide and vacant as he looks around until he finds a bottle of Jack. Reaching for it, he tears the lid off and gulps down generous mouthfuls. It doesn’t look like his first drink.

  “She isn’t coming back.” He says, too calmly, taking a seat on the edge of his bed.

  My spine snaps straight, “Who? Rebecca?” Just saying her name tastes like poison on my tongue.

  Nine days, she has been gone for Nine fucking days. Taken. Disappeared without a word, not directly anyway. That cunt Elliot Donovan had a lot of words though, or should I say warnings, for Connor, for us. Gave us a list of fucking threats he would act upon if we tried to get her back.

  “She isn’t coming back.” His words are bitter and clipped as he repeats himself, and continues to chug on the whiskey.

  Killian stands from his spot on the sofa, glaring at Aiden, “What are you talking about?”

  Aiden sighs, “I went to go get her, went to his fucking mansion on the North Side of town,” another swig from the bottle. “I was done waiting, didn’t give a fuck what Connor or Elliot said, just took my gun and went to get her.” He breaks on the final word, drinking slowly now, eyes glossy. “I prepared myself all the way there, you know? Imagined what I’d see, but none of it prepared me for what I found.”

  Vomit curls in my stomach as I listen to him speak. She isn’t coming back he said, he went to get her but came back alone. Fuck. My knees threaten to buckle beneath me as I force myself to ask, “Is she alive?”

  He laughs, “Alive? Oh she’s alive alright,” another bitter drink of the bottle, almost draining it completely. “She’s with him.”

  “We know she’s with him.” Killian starts, but Aiden stands, smashing the whiskey bottle into the wall.

  “No, you’re not fucking listening to me. She. Is. With. Him. They’re together.” The wrath and fury of him burns into the air.

  “Impossible,” Killian disagrees, as I am stunned into silence. “She doesn’t know him, he’s old, the Mayor.” He looks to me like he wants me to jump in with more reasons, but I’ve got nothing. “You’re mistaken.” He ends with, looking at Aiden like he’s never seen him before.

  Aiden grunts a laugh, “The only mistake I’ve made recently is letting her into my bed. Turns out daddy’s little princess was just a whore all along.”

  Kill moves before either of us can register, smashing his fist into Aiden’s jaw. “Kill!” I rush for him, holding him back as he goes in for another hit.

  Aiden grins spitefully, spitting blood from his mouth to the floor, “Don’t believe me? Go and see for your fucking self!”

  We were so sure he was full of shit, just being his typical Aiden self and throwing a tantrum, but we were wrong. I still remember everything about that night. Carter’s eyes staring down lovingly at her, his palm firm against her cheek. How she lent up on her toes to kiss him. The sick feeling I got when I realized Aiden was right, how we’d been played. We were barely there a minute, just a sixty-second clip of the life she was having with him, but that was enough.

  Suddenly everything else was tainted, our future, our friendship, the night of passion we shared. All of it was obliterated with one little kiss. I felt guilty before that night, so full of fucking shame and remorse at what we did to her, but that was nothing in comparison to the resentment that flooded my veins when I saw them together.

  Why would she do this again? What would she have to gain? Rebecca doesn’t even know about Connor’s will, and honestly, I don’t think she’d care, but why stay? If she truly wanted to be with Carter then why stay with us, fuck us? It doesn’t make any sense.

  Go and see for your fucking self. Those words from that night echo through my mind. No, I won’t believe this, not again. Not until I hear the words directly from her mouth, traitor or not, she will fucking answer to me this time, no more walking away.

  “I’m out of here.” I toss a wave over my shoulder, already turning to stalk from the room. I don’t know what’s going on, but I do know one thing, after last night, we deserve a fucking explanation and I’m going to find her and get one.

  When Angel said he had the perfect place to escape to, a tattoo studio isn’t exactly what I imagined, but it turns out he was right. If I run, then Carter wins. If I leave my Crows, then Carter wins. If I give in to his threats, then Carter wins. I’d just be the same scared little girl he kept in a cage. A cage I was forced to remain in, because I was forced away from my Crows. I won’t do it, I won’t be his little Rose, not again.

  That’s why when the tattoo artist asks me what I’m looking for, I don't hesitate. If I’m going to escape Carter then I need to become the one thing I was always destined to be, a Crow. I show him the design, add in my own personal touch and he gets to work on drawing it up. Angel also decides on his own intricate design, a portrait of the Greek God ‘Osiris’ surrounded by clouds and the sun for his bicep.

  He grabs us a couple of sandwiches from the Cafe next door, and we stuff our faces while we wait for the artists to finish our designs and create the transfers. He knows there is something up, but he doesn’t push me, just watches me, like he knows the turmoil inside of me and is ready to take it all away. If only he could.

  Once our transfers are ready, we are seated on recliner chairs next to one another as they place them onto our skin.

  Angel reaches out and grabs my hand in his own, “Are you ready for this, Becca?”

  I laugh. “It’s just a needle, Angel. I’ll be fine.” I reassure him, but he is already shaking his head.

  “No,” he looks to the two artists and then lowers his voice. “I mean, are you ready to fight? To take back what he took from you?”

  His words surprise me, as does the tightening of his fingers around mine. His eyes bore into me, and it’s like he knows. Knows that everything I have said and done has been a lie. As if he knows exactly what Carter did to me, without me ever having to tell him. His hand in mine gives me the final spark of strength I needed. His hold tells me he’s got me, that no matter what, I’ve got someone in my corner.

  I fight back the tears clogging my throat at his utter acceptance of me. How he can just take one look at me, and truly see me, the same way the guys used to, but haven’t since before that night. His friendship is given without restraint and is laced in love and a true connection. I don’t know what I did to deserve him, but I love him more than he could ever know.

  I dash an escaped tear off my cheek and squeeze his hand in mine, locking our fingers together. “You know I love you right?” I ask with a choked laugh.

  He rolls his eyes, “Of course you do, what’s not to love.” He gestures to his lounging frame on the chair.

  I shake my head with my first genuine smile of the day. “You’re such a fucking idiot.” I tell him with a sniffle, drying my cheeks of the last of my tears.

  “Whatever,” he shrugs. “Now tell me about Eazy E’s dick getting you all riled up.”

  I almost choke, my eyes widening as I look at the tattoo artists who quite clearly heard him, and then I throw my jacket at his head. My cheeks are flaming red no doubt, but Angel just laughs it off. I don’t tell him anything about what happened last night, so he goes into intimate detail about the girl he hooked up with, and has the two guys doing our tattoos hanging off his every word. Typical men.

  Once my design is in place, I lie back and relax, letting the guys chatter wash over me, settling my anxiety from this morning. The two of them get to work on us and surprisingly, I am feeling super relaxed. The needle piercing my skin is euphoric. Like a high I never want to come down from and somehow it’s exactly what I need.

  I curse Angel in my head for knowing me better than I know myself, and start sorting through the facts in my head. I need to tell Aiden, Killian, and Ezra everything that happened with Carter. The truth, all of it, and then we can go from there. No more secrets, no more lies, just be as honest as I should have been the second I came home. That way we can finally be back on the same page and hopefully the same team.

  The time passes slowly, yet somehow before I know it we are done. My artist wipes down my now sensitive skin and helps me off the chair to show me to a mirror. I take a deep breath and step up slowly until my torso is visible in my reflection and gasp in awe.

  The same ink that sits on every member of the Hallowed Crows MC now sits on my own. The detailed skull and wings design is now permanently etched onto my body in the middle of my chest, just below the curve of my breasts. It’s the same design that sat across my fathers back, the same one that sits on the chest of my three Crows, and now my own.

  Theirs are all surrounded with the name of the club that is the center of their world, their very reason for being. I don’t need those same words. For me the club isn’t a lifestyle, it’s a choice. A choice I made when I was fourteen years old. I chose green eyes that took my breath away, blue eyes that sparkled with mischief, and brown eyes that cut through me like a knife. I chose them. So I only need one word alongside my new wings to remind me of exactly who I am. Murder.

  It's as if the ink on my skin sheds the Rebecca that burned under Carter’s hold. His wrath and power over me ceases to exist. I’m no longer his little plaything, I’m Rebecca O’Sullivan, heir to the fucking Crows, and I’m ready to claim my crown, and my men. The tattoo is just another in a long line of his rules, that are now completely and utterly broken. And instead of the usual fear that creeps up on me, it’s relief.

  I laugh, the overwhelming feel of joy taking over my emotions, until I am laughing so hard I cry. The tears pour out of me, wracking my entire body. I cry for every night I spent in a cage, for every time Carter forced me to do something at his will, and for every minute I lost with my father. Every single tear is like a cathartic drop against my soul, and the feeling of being home surrounds me completely as Angel crushes me into a tight bear hug.

  I ignore the sting of pain from my fresh ink and let his soothing words wash over. “It’s okay, Becca. I’m here. Everything will be okay now. I promise.”

  “There is so much I need to tell you.” I sob into his chest, his hands rubbing up and down my back.

  “I know,” he pulls back and uses both hands to swipe my cheeks free of tears, before tipping my head back to look at him. “Let’s go home and you can tell me everything, okay? Me and the guys,” he adds, with a tone that tells me not to argue with him.

  I nod, stepping back and taking a deep breath as he moves to the counter and pays for both our tattoos despite my protests. I settle from my outburst and admire the art covering the walls and fantasize about what the next piece I add to my skin will be.

  “Ready?”

  I look at him and smile. “I’m ready.”

  I step out into the night a completely different person from the one that entered the studio earlier today. Like I have ascended to my new life post Carter, and I am finally ready to live it. That high from the first pierce of the needle still in full force, as I walk around to the back parking lot where Angel left his bike this morning.

  But that’s the thing about high’s, they don’t exist without lows. So as I dance towards Angel’s bike, feeling like nothing could ever bring me down, the world is once again shifted beneath me.

  A lone black rose rests against the handlebars. The white envelope stark against the crow colored bloom. My hand snatches it up on reflex, tearing it open before Angel can even get close enough to see it. And the words branded there change everything.

  It’s my turn to call MURDER.

  Bang.

  The shot echoes into the silence as my body drops to the ground and my head smacks off the floor, the pain ricocheting through me. Fuck. Angel is on top of me immediately, covering me from the danger. I feel a wetness seep through us, and I try not to panic as the tang of blood assaults my senses.

  “Angel?” I croak, wildly searching our surroundings for where the shot could have come from, but I can’t see anything with him above me.

  “Angel?” I push against him, but he doesn’t move, doesn’t speak. Panic pulses through my veins.

  It takes every ounce of strength I have to push his body off mine and roll him onto his back, although I immediately wish I hadn’t. The blood soaking through us isn’t mine, it’s his. Oh god no.

  “Angel?” I sob, shuffling to my knees beside him, “Please no.” I desperately try to find his pulse, but the blood is pouring from his neck, pooling around us in a disgusting display of expiration.

  My hands tremble as I try to find his phone to call for help, but a noise sounds from behind me and I reach for his gun instead. I whip around, frantically searching the empty parking lot for him. I can’t see anything from behind Angel’s bike, so I stand on shaking legs, slowly checking my surroundings and trying to calm my panicked breaths.

  When I come up empty, I lower the gun and turn back to Angel, letting another sob break out. His lifeless form taunting me from the ground. I don’t need to bend down to know he’s dead. This isn’t the first murder I have been witness to, but it’s the first to truly tear me apart.

  “Why,” I cry, “Why did he have to do this?” I can feel the panic attack clawing at my body, and I hold the gun tight to my chest, hoping the pressure will stop it from caving in.

  “Bex?” The whisper of my name makes me jump, and I turn to find Ezra’s shocked stare fixed on Angel’s breathless body.

  A slither of reassurance flows through me at his familiar face and just as I open my mouth to tell him everything, he steps back and speaks again.

  “Rebecca, what did you do?” He looks at me like he has never seen me before, like he doesn’t even know who I am, and the burn of his eyes is something I will never forget.

  I go to speak again, but he raises his hand and points his gun directly at me, and I find my own hand rising on instinct.

  “Ezra?” I whisper, but it’s too late the shots are already fired.

  Bang.

  Bang.

  Afterword

  Thank you for reading

  - Distrust -

  Hallowed Crows MC Book One.

  If you enjoyed it then please leave a review, your support means the world to me!

  Also I totally understand if you want to yell at me right now, but I’m not sorry! These Crow boys crept into my head and set up camp there, so don’t worry the next book will be coming soon!

  Dishonor - Hallowed Crows Book Two

  Preorder now: https://books2read.com/u/4Dx9N7

  If you are looking for more stories about bad ass heroines and a brood of broken but beautiful bad boys then be sure to check out my Black Hallows series!

  It’s a complete trilogy with more installments coming soon!

  Acknowledgments

  TO MY READERS you guys truly amaze me! I still can’t believe that not only is this now my 4th book, but that you guys actually want to read my words. Without you my dream of bringing you these crazy, dark, and delicious books would not be possible. So THANK YOU! For every word of mine you’ve read, every review you’ve posted and every edit you’ve made. I adore every single one of you.

  SAMMIE MY LITTLE TATER TOT you read three chapters of this at the start and told me right then, that you thought it was my best work, and for that I love you even more than I already did. You always know how to drag the absolute best out of me, even when I don’t know it’s there and I will forever be grateful that I stalked your DM’s and forced you into being my first book friend. I couldn’t imagine my life without you now. I love you my little fuzzy buzzy bee.

  DREA MY MANIC DERSASTER clearly it was my turn to steal all the manic from you on this one because I definitely tipped the crazy scale while writing this book. Thank you for always being there to not only keep me grounded but also to Mom the fuck out of me. Where would I be if it wasn’t for you keeping me in check and making me smile everyday with my morning voice notes. I love you my sexy little texy.

  SAM MY CANADIAN BACON where do I even start. From taking my sad vision of a cover idea and turning it into exactly what I wanted, to telling me this book was like crack but affordable. There isn’t enough words to describe the love for the cover and teasers and all the hard work you put it for me., so thank you for everything. I love you bacon.

  MY BETA BABES Megan, Lola, Heather. You guys made me laugh so much with your comments and love for the Crows. Thank you for keeping me on track and loving my words!

  MY CHAOS COVEN… Audrey, Tricia, Sinead, Kay… you are the best hype squad there is out there. My day without you guys in it would be a lot less brighter so thank you for all the support.

 

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