Dashboard lights, p.3
Dashboard Lights, page 3
part #2 of Gunpowder Series
"I had some news today," Ruby said. "My birth certificate finally came in the mail!”
"Why, sweetie! That's wonderful! I am sure you are very excited to be finally able to move forward with everything!"
"Yes, it is a good feeling! And Jonah is going to take me to the Social Security office in Maysville tomorrow so I can apply for my card." Ruby tossed the salad with salad forks, making sure the ingredients distributed evenly. She watched Elise paint the garlic butter on the bread. Ruby felt blessed to have been accepted by Derek's parents. They were wonderful, caring people who didn't seem to be bothered in the slightest about her previous nomadic lifestyle.
Ruby managed to eat a decent portion of the cheesy lasagna, a small salad, and nibbled on some garlic bread. Elise seemed pleased that she was eating again as Ruby had shown little interest in food for the last couple of weeks. In between bites of lasagna and garlic bread, Norman congratulated Ruby on the receipt of her birth certificate. Over the last several months of staying with the Hunts, Ruby learned Norman was a healthy eater. She was surprised he wasn't big, but an amazing metabolism continued to let him enjoy his food and stay relatively trim. Derek was a good eater, but he exercised more moderation like his mother. After helping Elise clear the table and clean the dishes, Ruby poured herself a tall tumbler of ice water and excused herself to go shower and read before bed.
Ruby headed directly for the bathroom and shed her clothes. She considered a bubble bath but opted instead for a shower. She considered how soaking in a hot tub of water would affect the life inside her. She did not want to inadvertently "cook" him. Him. A boy. She shook her head. It didn't seem real. And to think Amy was pregnant also. How? Just how could they both be pregnant at the same time? She wondered if Amy had given Jonah the news? As she went towards the shower, she stopped to study her body in the long mirror. Pretty much the same skinny Ruby stared back at her, but turning slightly to the side, she noticed a slight rise to her belly in the abdomen area. Barely noticeable. An odd sensation flowed over her. A person was growing inside her. How alien was that? Shaking her head, she took her shower. Fortunately, the cheesy food had waylaid the nausea. At least for the time being.
Drying off, and depositing her clothes in the hamper, Ruby walked into her room wrapped in the towel. She selected a nightgown and undies and dressed. Looking in the mirror of the dressing table, she took her hands and ran them through her curls, her own version of combing her hair. Brushes and combs caused her hair to curl in parts and straighten in others, and a hair dryer was her worst enemy. Especially as her hair got longer. Frizz city. She looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand. Seven-thirty. There were still three and a half hours before Derek would be home. Of course, he would shower so he didn't smell like an over-sized French fry. It would be more like eleven-thirty before he would crawl into bed. But she wanted to be there.
She picked up the envelope on the dressing table and flipped through the ultrasound pictures. She debated which one she would lay on his pillow. She eventually picked the one where Baby Boy Hunt showed off his wares! She laughed seeing this. She had been in such a state of shock when she first saw this image, but now she was tickled.
Ruby gathered her book and the tumbler of ice water and shut off the lights in her room. In Derek's room, she clicked on the night table light and situated the pillows so she could comfortably immerse herself in the latest novel. Over the past several weeks, she found herself going to sleep earlier and earlier and experienced a degree of exhaustion she had never felt. Probably the pregnancy and all the changes her body was going through. She read several pages, but the yawns began and came one after another. Finally, she placed her bookmark in her book.
***
Derek walked into the bedroom, a towel around his waist. He immediately saw Ruby asleep in the bed, a book laying where it fell from her hands. He slipped into a pair of boxer shorts, curious as to why she slumbered in his bed. He went to shut off the nightstand light but stopped, seeing something on his pillow. He picked it up and studied it. At the top was Ruby's name and the date. Below that was a black and white image that made no sense to him. A whitish blob within a somewhat triangular area of black. He turned it over, finding nothing.
"Hey, Derek…" Ruby's sleepy voice caught his attention.
"Hey, angel." Derek pulled back the covers and joined her in the bed. He leaned over and kissed his bride-to-be on the lips. "What are you doing in here? You know you're breaking all sorts of rules!" he chuckled. He laid propped up on his elbow looking at Ruby's face, framed by a pile of black curls.
"I wanted to talk to you when you got home," she said.
"What about? Was it your birth certificate in the envelope?" he asked.
"Yes. I can hardly believe it finally came! I had Amy put it in the safe. Jonah is taking me tomorrow to the Social Security office to apply for my social security card."
"That is awesome!" He bent over and kissed her again.
"But that is not why I wanted to talk to you." She sat up in bed, her tiny arms laying in her lap. The ultrasound picture laid on Derek's nightstand.
"You sound all serious!" Derek jokingly gave her his ‘serious face.’
"I found out why I have been feeling so sick." Ruby pointed to the ultrasound picture. Derek rolled over and glanced at the weird photo, then picked it up.
"Why?" He looked at the photo again, still not understanding its significance.
"Because..." Ruby looked down at her hands, pausing. "Because I am pregnant."
Derek just looked at her. No words. Just a prolonged look. Then he looked at the photo, studying it again, and then back at her.
"It is a boy," she said pointing to the ‘third’ leg in the photo.
"How?" Derek finally managed.
"Apparently our one and only moment back on the day of my hearing..." Her voice drifted off. Derek still just looked at her. No reaction. This worried Ruby. "There are more ultrasound pictures. They are quite amazing!"
"How did you find out?"
"Amy took me to the doctor this afternoon. They did a urine test, which turned out positive. And then they did the ultrasound to find out how far along I was. Fourteen weeks."
"Fourteen weeks," he repeated. His tone lacked emotion. Flat. He rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling.
"Derek? I figured you would be excited. Happy." She realized he was in shock. She wondered if Amy's conversation with Jonah had gone this way?
"Um, I..." He rolled back on his side facing her. "I was not expecting this."
"Nor was I."
"This is not how I saw things going for us."
"You do not want children?" she asked. "I realize we have never discussed that. I do not know why? We have discussed everything else under the sun."
He sat up. He took her hands in his. She was grateful for the touch, feeling his warmth. Right now, she was getting a cool reception to her news. Their news.
"Ruby, I…I just figured we'd get married and be a couple for a while. We've got so much going on right now—remodeling the cabin, my school, work, a wedding, you studying for your GED." He looked at their hands, not her. "We should have used protection. But you did kind of take me by surprise."
His words stung. Stunned, she stared at his hair, where his face should be. He would not look up at her. She needed him to look at her.
"So, you are blaming me? It is my fault?" she eventually said. That got his attention. He locked his deep blue eyes with her pale eyes. She pulled her hands from his. "I did not hear you say no. I did not hold a gun on you, forcing you into that bed!" She had many memories of that scenario. She flung back the covers to get out of the bed, when his hand grabbed her arm.
"Wait!"
"What?" She snapped back at him, struggling to free herself. She looked directly at him, and blurted out, "you know what? You are all wrapped up in how you feel about this. I know it is a shock. But you have not even considered my feelings about this. I am the one who has been sick. I am the one with a life growing inside me. Let go! I am going to my room!"
He loosened his grasp, and she got up, stomping across the room toward the bathroom door. She shut it behind her. She stood for a moment, fuming, trying to decide whether she would go back in or continue to her own room. No! Not going back. She walked around the tub to her room, closing the door. She wished she could lock it, but the knobs were so old there was no lock feature.
She crawled up on her bed and sat in the dark. She was angry. Hurt. The tears began to well around her heart, and she felt them working their way up. She fought against them, but their force was too powerful. Tears spilled from her eyes, cascading down her cheeks like a waterfall.
Ruby expected Derek to be shocked by the news. She was in shock herself. If it weren't for the ultrasound and pictures, she would have thought it a dream. It did not seem real to her yet. But she had not expected him to blame her! Protection! How could he even say that? Like he was denying his part! She pulled her ruby ring off and put it on top of the envelop holding the ultrasound photos.
Her emotions gathered at the base of her throat, forming a knot. Making it difficult to swallow. She wanted to scream but knew she couldn't. She threw herself face-first into the many pillows on her bed and let out a muffled cry. For the first time in many, many months, she felt so…so alone. She laid among the pile of pillows and the flood of tears.
***
Derek sat on the edge of the bed turning Ruby's ring in his fingers. Next to him were the ultrasound pictures. Ruby sat up among the mass of pillows, her refuge. He did not look at her. She was not surprised. She watched him continue to roll the ring in his hand. How long he had been there? Still wearing only boxer shorts, he looked very tired. A hint of dark peeked under his eyes. Had he slept? Her own eyes felt swollen and sore. They actually hurt. She seemed to be looking through slits.
"You took it off," he said, looking up from the ring.
"Yes."
"What does that mean?"
"It means that I am very angry and very hurt," she replied.
He nodded.
She held out her hand to him. It took him a moment to realize she intended him to slip the ring back on her finger, and then he did. She sighed. A deep sigh.
"These are kinda freaky," Derek said, referring to the ultrasound images. "I mean it's freaky that they can take picture of a baby that's inside you." The picture from his room was among the rest. He flipped through them again.
Ruby was silent. She studied his face as he became acquainted with the idea he was to be a father. At one point, the corner of his mouth curved up. A partial smile? Acceptance was going to be a process. For both of them.
"I didn't mean to hurt you." His eyes settled on hers.
"I know," she responded. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.
"How are you feeling?"
"Tired. Scared."
Derek nodded. He reached over and laid the photos on the nightstand.
"Scared," he repeated, referring to himself. "You know this is going to take me a bit to get used to. A dad. A father. I'm not even a husband yet."
"I'm not a wife yet."
"It just isn't how I envisioned things for us. Not that I don't want kids. I do very much! But I thought, you know, we'd get married first. I'd finish college. You'd get your GED and maybe go to college. That we'd spend some time as a couple first. This is a major curve ball." Derek reached over, touching her arms, rubbing them.
"I completely understand. This was not planned. I am sorry that I have disappointed you."
Derek crawled next to Ruby, fighting the pillows for space, and put his arm around her. She rested her head against his bare chest. He was warm. She heard the beat of his heart and his slow breaths.
"You've nothing to be sorry about, and you haven't disappointed me. You do continually turn my world upside down, but I wouldn't have it any other way! It's what I love about you." Derek touched her chin, tilting her head upwards. He kissed her pink lips. Then, he studied her face. Her eyes were red, but her irises were unusually pale, and her lids were puffy. The bluish color had returned under her eyes, almost as if it leaked out of her irises.
"I cannot believe we're going to be parents!" he said. Derek reached down putting his palm on her belly. He moved it around, as if searching for any sign of a bump. "A boy..."
"Yes, a boy. Are you happy it is a boy?" she asked.
"I'm happy. I'd be happy with a girl also. I guess we'll need to speed up the wedding plans. Whew!"
"Or elope. But I am sure your parents would want a wedding."
"Mom and Dad! Oh, God! We're going to have to tell them…" Derek’s voice trailed off.
"We cannot exactly keep it a secret!" Ruby laughed.
Derek smiled at her. He reached under her night gown to feel her bare stomach.
"I think you've got a little pooch," he said.
Ruby pulled off her nightgown for Derek to have a bird's eye view. She laid back among the pillows, and he ran his hand over an ever-so-slight bump. She felt a flutter inside. Was it her normal excitement at his touch? Or was it the baby boy inside her? All she knew was that she suddenly wanted him. Needed him. She needed his closeness.
"Derek?"
"Yes, love?"
"Make love to me."
***
Wrapped in a towel and checking out her puffy eyes in the mirror, Ruby found herself watching Derek drying off from their shower. His tall lean body, a small tuft of hair on his chest, his hairy long legs, and the hair on his head sticking in all directions. Outright handsome. She loved his look when he was all tussled, a look he rarely let anyone see. She felt privileged to be one of the few. Realizing he was under observation, he walked up behind Ruby, put his arms around her and kissed her on the neck. Then they gazed at themselves in the mirror. Derek dropped her towel to the floor and placed his hands on her belly.
"We should get a picture like this," he said.
"What? Of both of us naked and you gripping my belly?" Ruby laughed.
"No, clothed, silly! It would be our first family photo."
"I think that is a great idea, but can we wait for the swelling in my eyes to go down?" she asked.
"Yes, and for the dark circles under my eyes to disappear."
"Oh, I forgot to tell you…" Ruby stepped into her jeans and pulled them up. She could still button them without trouble.
"What's that?" Derek was lathering up for a shave.
"You will never believe this, but when Amy took me to the doctor yesterday, guess what she found out?"
"No clue." He swiped the razor down the side of his face.
"She is pregnant also!" Ruby pulled on a loose-fitting long-sleeve t-shirt over her undershirt. She began to wonder if she would ever wear a bra. Maybe a baby would change her current state of flatness. "Can you believe that! We are both pregnant at the same time!"
"No way!"
"Yep. But she is only a few weeks along."
"Maybe I shouldn't feel so bad about our situation. At least we have a place to live. They are all crammed into Susie's." Derek’s face contorted as he continued to shave.
"Do you feel bad? Really?" Ruby asked, looking at him in the mirror. Derek stopped and turned to her.
"Ruby, it's just going to take some time for me to process this. It's like the last bit of my childhood left me last night, and I woke up all grown up and responsible. I'm...I’m my dad!"
"I am going through the same thing, Derek. You are not alone in this. I know this is stressing you out! But it is me as well. And the sickness. And my body is going to change. And I am going to get all fat and ugly..."
"Oh, listen to you!" Derek hugged her, getting shaving cream on her hair. "Oops!" he said, as he wiped it off with the towel.
***
Heading to get their morning coffee, Derek took Ruby's hand as they went down the stairs. He told her to make sure she used the railing going up and down to prevent any falls. Ruby chuckled to herself. For someone who claimed to be having a hard time with this new role in life, he certainly was grasping things quickly. In the kitchen, Derek fetched two cups and poured them full, while Ruby grabbed the cream from the refrigerator.
"Do you want some?" she asked.
"Sure, go ahead," he held his cup out for her.
"Derek?" They heard Norman call from the dining room. Derek and Ruby followed his voice.
Both Norman and Elise sat at the dining room table with coffee and bagels spread out before them. A folded newspaper and red pen laid between them exposing the daily crossword puzzle, which they were working together.
"Good morning," Derek said. Norman and Elise looked up simultaneously.
"Good Heavens, Derek! You look awful!" Elise said, noticing the dark circles. "Ruby! You've been crying! What's going on with you two?"
Derek pulled out a chair for Ruby, and he sat next to her. Norman and Elise focused their attention on them. Ruby sipped her coffee, allowing Derek the honor of telling his parents. He cupped his hands around his cup, leaning forward slightly.
"Ruby and I have some news...unexpected news." He looked up from his cup to Ruby and then to his parents, who eagerly awaited his next words. "We are going to be parents."
"Oh, my God! Norman! Did you hear that?" Elise shrieked, jumping up, almost knocking her cup over.
"Yes, I did, dear!" Norman extended his hand to Derek, saying "Congratulations!"
Elise already made her way around the table and embraced Ruby in a hug.
"Oh, I just had a feeling! That sickness of yours!" Elise kissed her on the forehead, and then turned to Derek, hugging and kissing him the same. "You've no idea how happy you've made us! We're going to be grandparents! Norman! We're going to be grandparents!"
"Yes, we are!" Norman said. "This is great news!"
Derek took Ruby's hand, playing with her ring on her finger. He nodded at her to give them details.
