Dashboard lights, p.6
Dashboard Lights, page 6
part #2 of Gunpowder Series
"I'll be honest with you, Ruby. I have not spoken with Derek about this since we sat down the other morning. He seems to be making himself scarce. But he seemed to be happy about the baby." Elise topped off her glass.
"Oh, he is happy about the baby. I think he is shaken up and nervous. Stressed. I have not seen him except in passing. He has been focused on his schoolwork in the mornings and then rushes off for work. I know he is busy, but he used to make time for me. I think he is trying to avoid me." Ruby was unsure if pouring her heart out to Derek's mom was a good idea. She expected Elise to naturally side with her son.
"Well, there is definite tension between you two. Norman has even recognized it, and you know how oblivious to things he can be! Love his heart!" Elise said. "Ruby, there is something you should know about my son." Elise sat back in the chair and reflected a moment staring at her glass.
"What is that?" Ruby asked. Her heart started pounding.
"Derek is just not one to open up about his feelings. He never has since he was a baby." Elise shook her head. "If something was on his mind or something was upsetting him, we literally couldn't pry it out of him. I think he’s opened up to you more than anyone. Do you know a few years ago Norman and I actually asked him if he was gay?" She laughed remembering this.
"What did he say?" Ruby asked, pretending to be amused.
"Oh, he denied it. In retrospect, I don't think he had even considered that, but then when we asked, I think he began to worry about it. But he wouldn't talk to us about it."
"Where did you and Norman even get the idea that Derek was gay?" Ruby asked. She was curious about this side of the story, having already heard Derek's side.
"Oh, rumors were floating all over town and through the family. As you well know, Derek's a handsome boy, and he absolutely showed no interest in girls. Of course, he had a couple male friends from school that he sometimes hung around with. But rarely. You know how people are these days! They jump to assumptions." Elise sighed, taking another sip. "I really wish we had never asked him that. It seemed to close him down even more. But! Then you came along, and he's been so happy! It is amazing the impact one person can have on another. Ruby, it was as if you were God-sent!"
"Elise, I have to agree with you. I can honestly say that God had a very big part in leading me to Gunpowder. I know it in my heart. This is where I belong." Ruby smiled at her future mother-in-law. She had so much to learn from her. It was good that they could talk.
"It is going to take Derek a little time to get used to the idea of being a father, but he will come around. He truly does love you, Ruby. I see it in his eyes." Elise's words further comforted Ruby.
"Elise, I truly love him. He is my rock! He has been by my side every step of the way with my trying to shed the homeless life and become a real person. Who does that other than someone with a huge, caring heart?" Ruby felt the water collecting in her eyes. She felt so emotional about everything these days. She finished the contents of her glass and rose from the sofa.
"I think I will go shower and turn in. I get so tired these days!" Ruby slipped her shoes on and headed towards the kitchen to put up her glass.
"Good night!" Elise called after her. She settled back in the chair, with her glass in hand, the remainder of the bottle in the ice bucket, and watched the fire.
***
Ruby felt a little tipsy as she went up the grand stairs, holding onto the railing as directed by Derek. He worried about her. Especially now that she transported their baby. Baby Boy Hunt went everywhere she did. She went to her room, and pulled out pajama pants, top and underwear. Slipping her jeans off, she folded them and left them on the dresser for another wear. The rest of her clothes went to the hamper. Seeing how full it was, she noted to do wash in the morning.
The hot water massaged her tired body. As she turned this way and that, allowing the warm spray to coat her, she wished Derek was with her. He had been distant with her since she had given him the news. She replayed her thoughts from early during the wedding planning. Was she just overreacting due to her raging hormones? She could not shake the feeling of aloneness as Derek was adapting to the idea of fatherhood. She turned and let the warm water run down her aching back. She sensed that she somehow disappointed him. Really, when had she and he spoken since the morning they broke the news to his parents?
Just a hello and a quick peck on the cheek in the days since then. Derek claimed to be swamped with schoolwork—studying for tests and researching more papers. Then he raced off to work. When he got home at night, either Ruby was asleep, or he claimed exhaustion. Ruby and Derek experienced zero alone time since she broke the news. That just would not do. If this kept up, they would be sure to drift apart. Ruby needed to confront him just as Elise confronted her earlier.
Drying off, Ruby climbed into her jammies and primped her hair, helping her curls to fall evenly. She went to her room and picked up her GED study book, and climbed into bed, arranging the pillows to prop her upright. She would study until Derek got home, and then she would ask to speak with him. She needed to find out where she stood. And where he stood. What if he told her he had made a mistake? No. She pushed…shoved that out of her mind.
A little past eleven, Ruby heard noise in the bathroom. Derek. He was "de-French frying" himself. Ruby was tempted to surprise him in the shower, but she really had no desire to get wet again, and she feared risking rejection. As the shower water ran, she looked at the pages in her study book, but nothing was registering. She might has well have been trying to read a foreign language. She then heard the water stop, and a few minutes later, the door to Derek's room made the squeak sound as it closed.
Ruby took a deep breath and climbed out of the warm bed. Tiptoeing across the cool wooden floor, she entered the dark bathroom and went to Derek's door. She stood for a second, a moment, maybe a minute facing the door, her hand suspended in air. Finally, her knuckles wrapped softly on the door. She waited. In the dark. Hoping her conversation would go well.
Derek opened the door. He was wearing only his boxer shorts. Ruby wondered what had happened to his pajamas. Had he gone for a more manly look since finding out he was to be a father?
"Ruby! I thought you were asleep," he said.
"Nope. I could not sleep. I was actually studying."
"Come in." He stood back allowing her to enter his room. Ruby sensed his hesitancy. She scanned his desk, noting it was exceptionally clean given all the paper-writing and studying he was doing. She walked part-way into the room and then turned to face him, as he closed the door.
"Derek, we need to talk," she said.
"Ruby, I'm really pretty tire..."
"I know you are tired. I am tired. But we need to talk. We have not been talking. That is not good. I feel like you are purposely trying to avoid me." She tried to stand as tall and confident as she could. She did not want to come across as the needy waif.
"What do you need to talk about?" he asked.
"No, Derek. It is what WE need to talk about. I think you know," she replied.
They stood and awkwardly looked at each other. Clad in just boxer shorts emphasized Derek's long legs and height. Ruby finally broke the ‘stand-off’ and sat on the edge of the bed, having to climb up on it. Derek broke his feet free from the floor and sat beside her.
"What is going on Derek? Why are you avoiding me?" Ruby asked.
"What do you mean?" He answered her question with a question. She gave him a flat look. "I'm not avoiding you," he said.
"I believe you are. When have we said more than two words since Monday?"
Derek leaned over on his knees and rubbed his face with both hands. He then rested his elbows on his knees lets his hands dangle between his legs. He was silent.
"Do you want to call everything off?" Ruby asked.
"No! No," he responded, straightening up. His eyes met hers. Was he tearing up?
"Derek, you are giving me crumbs here. We need to talk. We need to discuss our situation. You are making me feel very, very alone in this."
"I'm sorry." That was it. He did not expound.
"Do you know your mom pulled me aside tonight to ask what was going on between us?" Ruby figured this might get a reaction.
"Mom? She shouldn't be ..."
"Prying?" Ruby finished his comment. "It is noticeable enough that both she and your dad think something is astray here. I have to agree with them."
"Ruby..." He was looking at the floor again. Did a tear just drop from his eye? "I... I'm just having a hard time handling this. It is all so sudden."
"Yes and no. Our whole relationship has been a whirlwind. Yet, everything that has happened since September...that was both your and my doing. We created the whirlwind. It makes me wonder if you are having second thoughts?"
"No... No. I just need time. Time to get used to things," he replied.
"Well, while you are taking time and closing yourself off, 'getting used to things,' life is marching on around you. Do you know your mom, Amy, Abby and I met to discuss our wedding this evening? Apparently, you and I are getting married on May 25th." Ruby felt herself losing nerve. Be strong, girl.
"Really?"
"Yes. I must ask, Derek, do you really want to marry me? Or am I just an easy answer to you fulfilling your obligation to carry on the Hunt name?"
"What?" Derek looked at her, stunned. "Where's that coming from?"
"When I suggested that we might scale back the wedding to an immediate family-only event, I was informed by Amy and your mom that the future of the Hunt family name and the legacy of Gunpowder rested on you. On us. That it was important to the Hunt name that we have a proper wedding and that I birth you a son."
"You're kidding?"
"Nope. So, Derek, why do you want to marry me?"
"Because I love you," he responded. He took her hand in his.
"You are not the only one who is needing time to get used to things, Derek. Think about me. Six months ago, I was trying to plan for how I would get through the winter without freezing or starving to death. I did not even have a last name. If something happened to me, there was no one to notice. To care." She noticed Derek's fingers were playing with the ring on her hand. "And now? Look around. I am living in a lovely historical home engaged to the man of my dreams, and I am pregnant with his child. Oh, and I finally have a last name and am recognized by society as a real person. I am doing my darnedest to get use to things. Everything."
Derek remained quiet. Contemplating. Reflecting on her words.
"I've been selfish," he said finally. "I got scared. I am scared." He looked at Ruby. He wasn't crying, but his eyes were wet and glossy.
"Your mom told me tonight that you have never been one to express your feelings. And I am not asking you to tell me everything, but if there is something that is important to our life, our relationship, I have got to ask you to be open with me."
"I know," Derek nodded his head. "I need to be more upfront with you. I just didn't want to worry you."
"You worry me more by closing off. By not telling me your feelings, as you can see my mind went in all directions trying to understand what was going on."
"You really do love me, don't you?" Derek asked.
"Oh, God, yes!" Ruby smiled at him. "You are my world! I believe whole-heartedly it was divine intervention that we met." Then she asked, "Do you love me, Derek?"
Derek put his arms around her and pulled her towards him. Ruby freely let him do so, once again enjoying the soothing comfort of his touch. She rested her hand on his bare chest, feeling his heartbeat.
"Ruby, I more than love you! You're the magical fairy in my life. You're my best friend. Once you stepped into my life, I can't imagine it without you!" He bent down and kissed her on the lips. "May 25th, huh?" he asked.
"Yep. And you are wearing daisies! See what happens when you close yourself off?" she laughed.
"I will wear them proudly!"
"Are we okay, Derek?"
"We're more than okay, Ruby. I promise." Derek hugged her tightly. "We'll figure it all out. Together?"
"Can I ask? How do you really feel about the baby?" Ruby pulled away slightly so she could see his face. He smiled. That smile she loved so much. The dimple. The smile that told her things really would be okay.
"I absolutely love that we are having a baby! It scares me to death. But yeah, I think it is amazing!"
"Really? I was a little worried you were afraid...jealous maybe...that the baby would take my attention away from you. Where you said you just wanted us to be a couple for a while," Ruby said.
"No, no. I'm not worried about the baby stealing your attention! That little guy is going to have both of our attentions. We'll be right there with him, together. I promise," Derek said.
Ruby looked down at the beautiful ring Derek had slipped on her finger back in November. A symbol of commitment. Set in white gold, a princess-cut ruby was edged by two triangular cut diamonds, and the band was carved with an ornate scroll pattern with inlaid tiny diamonds. The ruby itself seemed to glow when light shined on it a certain way. Ruby continued to be plagued by the idea she had seen it previously, but she could not remember where. She could not shake a gut feeling that the ring was meant for her. And the fact if fit her finger perfectly—no sizing required—was amazing. She had been meaning to ask Derek where he had found such a treasure, but she either forgot or it was not the right moment. The moment finally seemed right.
"Derek, could I ask you a question?"
"Of course!"
"Where did you get my ring? I know that seems odd that I would ask." Ruby held her left hand out so they could both see the stunning ruby.
"Actually, I found it at a pawn shop in Morehead," he said. "I hope you don't think less of me."
"Gosh, no!" she replied.
"I was looking specifically for something with a ruby in it, and there are not a lot of jewelry options around. When I saw it, I just knew it needed to be yours!"
"No, I love it, Derek! It is perfect! It is just that..." she hesitated, wondering if he would think she was crazy.
"It's just what?"
"I have seen this ring before. I know that sounds nutty. But somehow when I was younger, someone I knew had this ring or one just like it."
"The lady at the pawn shop told me that it was an antique. It is hand made with 18 karat gold, which is rare. One of a kind. She said it had to be over a hundred year's old, if not more. I doubt you saw one like it."
"So, that would mean this is the same ring I remember?" she asked.
"Maybe."
"That is so strange. How would a ring from a totally different part of Kentucky find its way here? And on my finger?"
"My love, that's a mystery we're not going to solve tonight," Derek said standing and pulling her up. He wrapped his arms around her and she him, and they kissed.
"However, I do know another problem we can solve tonight," he continued.
He pulled back the covers, and together they nestled into bed, holding each other. Loving each other.
Chapter Five - Kentucky Winter
When Derek got ready to leave for his Saturday morning shift at the McDonald's, six inches of snow greeted him at the front door. And it was still snowing. Hard. Closing the door, he realized he would be taking his truck instead of walking to work. He and Ruby made plans for a retreat to the cabin that afternoon for some quality alone time and to pour over the preliminary ideas for the cabin expansion. At the rate the snow was pouring down, he doubted that would happen. He knew she would be disappointed. Not wanting to disturb her so early, he decided to wait and see what the snow actually did.
Ruby's cell phone rang around nine, pulling her from her sleep. It rang several times before she realized it was her phone.
"Hello?" Her voice sounded sluggish.
"Good morning, love!"
"Derek! Good morning. Why are you calling?" Ruby sat up, feeling the cool air rushing into her covers. "What's wrong? Has something happened? Are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm okay sleepy head! You need to go look out the window," Derek replied.
"Why?"
"Just go and look."
"Okay," Ruby replied, throwing back her covers, a little resentful that he was making her leave the warmth. Her feet crept across the cold wooden floor, and she pulled back the curtain sheers. The world outside her window was covered in white with more white swirling in the air. "Oh my! I did not know it was going to snow! Oh, it is beautiful! Are you at work?"
"Of course, where else would I be?" Derek laughed. “Business has been really slow. We didn't even get the usual group of old men in this morning. I checked a little while ago and there's fourteen inches so far."
"What are you going to do?" Ruby asked.
"I'm going to call dad and discuss it with him, but I'm thinking we'll close down. I already sent a couple of the workers home. It's just me and Cassandra right now. I'll probably have to drive her home."
"How much more are we supposed to get?" Ruby yawned, as she crawled back into her bed.
"The weather forecast on the T.V. says this is going to continue until tomorrow. They say the road crews are already having trouble keeping up, and they're tell people to stay off the roads. I'm pretty sure we'll close."
"Okay, well if you do, hurry up and come home! I need someone to keep me warm!"
"I will," he said. "Love you, babe."
"Love you!"
Ruby went back to her bed, bunching the covers around her. Snow. She was thankful she was on this side of the window. She could recall too many times on the other side of the window, struggling to stay warm and dry during days just like this. Ugh! But she somehow managed. It was amazing how a tent covered with snow held body warmth. Or, how an old outbuilding with cardboard tacked up to block the wind and multiple layers of clothes and blankets got a person through a cold snowy night. She remembered the times when she fell asleep, not knowing whether she would wake up. And the nights there was no sleep as she continued to stoke a fire.
