“Tony no. Don't do this again. I’ve never asked for any commitment from you. But I’d prefer it if you don't go.”

  She put her arms out and he held her trying not to squeeze too tight. And before long they fell asleep.

  She was the one who woke up first the next morning wanting to have sex. He tried hard not to say he loved her again and afterwards told her he’d been drunk the night before and hadn't meant what he’d said. If she wanted him to come round again, then she should call. And he `phoned for a taxi and left very quickly.

  And he hadn't asked and she hadn't said anything about the blackouts and he hadn't used a condom again nor asked about contraception and he felt very irresponsible. The next time he definitely would.

  CHAPTER 8

  August

  “I KNOW YOU THINK I should talk about my relationship with my parents.”

  “You must talk about whatever you want to. It’s not for me to say what you should or shouldn't raise in these sessions.”

  “Well I can just tell you think I’m repressed in some way because of my upbringing. And all psychologists think that about people.”

  “We’re all affected by everything that happens to us. Some of it’s good. Some of it’s bad but I’m not here to judge or decide what you should or shouldn't bring up.”

  Sarah as usual felt frustrated by his lack of willingness to commit himself. She had expected at some point that there would be a revelation. That he would give her an opinion about herself, what were her weaknesses and strengths, what she might do to improve herself in various respects. Or that she would suddenly herself realise what her problems were, why she was like she was. She had imagined that it would be like scales falling from her eyes. That what hadn't been obvious to her before would at once be blindingly so. Or that she would abruptly remember something from her distant childhood which she’d buried, suppressed for two or more decades. That she would change in a fraction of a second to a happy, carefree, outgoing person. All hang ups would have evaporated.

  But none of these things had happened. It was disappointing. At the very least she wanted Duncan to give her an honest, open opinion about herself. But he was just constantly evasive. It was very frustrating.

  “So what are you here for at all then?” she said truculently.

  “It would be entirely inappropriate for me to start propounding opinions about you, what makes you tick. If you think about it, I’ve spent a couple of hours a week with you for about the last four or five weeks. Sarah I’m not a mind-reader. People are immensely complicated. I couldn't possibly work out who you really are from just a few limited sessions, especially when you’re….

  “Sarah, a lot of people resist saying what most matters to them. If they are consciously aware of it, it’s often too hurtful to admit it. Or sometimes people really aren't consciously aware at all of things that have happened to them and in therapy they may suddenly become aware. I shouldn't influence you. If I suggest something and it’s wrong, then I could distort all your thinking, possibly your behaviour, for many years. It really isn't for me to say what might be troubling you. It’s for you to pull it out of your conscious or subconscious mind.

  “I mean I could possibly help with a few hypnotism sessions. Sometimes people may remember things under hypnotism that they’ve buried completely though that’s a very difficult area and therapists can be accused of influencing the outcome. A less dangerous thing to do would be simply to make suggestions under hypnotism that might help you in everyday life or help you with relationships. But so far you haven't expressed any difficulty with relationships. Again I shouldn't and don't want to influence what you tell me.”

  This was the longest speech he’d ever made to her and she was frankly surprised.

  “Do you want to carry on anyway,” he continued in his level, unruffled voice. “Talk about relationships if you want to.”

  “With men or women?”

  “Anyone.”

  DUNCAN KNEW there was a man who visited Sarah. He’d seen him arriving, usually late at night, and leaving in the morning. But he’d never seen them outside together, walking down the road, going anywhere together in a car nor in the garden. He’d seen some passionate kissing at the door on the man’s arrival and slumped shoulders and wistful looks up at the windows when the man left. Duncan always made a huge effort not to judge, but if he had, he’d have said that the man was besotted with Sarah and took whatever possibility existed to spend time with her and that Sarah pathologically resisted any real emotional intimacy. Of course he might have got it wrong. The man might be married and using Sarah, only able to visit at unsocial hours. OK, either way it wasn't that great for Sarah. But he thought that the first set of conjectured circumstances was likely to be the more accurate.

  He tried hard to shut his ears to anything his mother said about Sarah, her various theories, very little actual fact it seemed. But it wasn't that much anyway and mostly his mother’s main topic of conversation was herself, a subject of endless fascination to her.

  On the spur of the moment, something he tried hard not to do mostly, he said to Sarah:

  “If there’s anyone in particular you have difficulty bonding with, we could try to get to the bottom of that, including with the use of hypnotism if you’re unhappy with the situation.”

  “No there isn't anyone. I don't deny I’d like to go out more, but it’s the nature of my job. It’s just a fairly solitary occupation which is why I go and see your mum quite a lot. Plus of course I like her,” she added quickly. “I suppose I could join some groups. Take up some hobbies. I’ll think about it.”

  She hadn't sounded stressed or evasive as she’d said these things. Duncan accordingly decided to forget the man and avoid any gentle probing about relationships. It was up to her if she didn't want to address relationship issues he was fairly certain she actually did have.

  “Oh well,” he said, “I’d better go. I’m working during the day at the moment. I’m trying to avoid evenings. Sometimes I was having to work until three in the mornings and Mum’s a bit twitchy about the strange goings on around here. She wants me to be at home at nights if possible. So I’m off to work in a minute. I’ll have to call it a day.”

  Watching Sarah, he felt sure that there was some reaction to what he’d just said. She kind of stiffened. Her face shut down and her expression became opaque. There was obviously something there. He’d have to think about that.

  “OK. `Bye Duncan,” she said, her voice toneless.

  TONY HAD BEEN TO Sarahs' house for late night sex about five times now. Only when she felt like it. It was better than nothing but largely unsatisfactory for him and he was starting to think seriously about calling it a day. If he could. Being totally smitten with someone who apparently couldn't really give a damn about you must be some sort of perverse masochism, something he didn't recognise in himself.

  He kept deluding himself that she needed him. And indeed she did. For sex. Or she wanted him for sex. And she appeared to need him to help her cope with her obvious delusions about having night-time forays to do demonstrably weird acts to her neighbours’ property. He was totally convinced that she wasn't responsible. But the fact of the matter was that it was these imaginings of hers that had caused him to be brought back into her life. And he couldn't, just couldn't, let that go. He wanted to help her get over it, but at the same time if she did get over it, then where would he be? Out on his arse again. Dumped. Trash-canned.

  It might be another six years before she took any interest in him again.

  What the fuck was he thinking? This was impossible. Six more years of trying to forget her as his still young life ebbed away but always hoping, always. This wasn't going to happen to him again. The next time he saw her he would finish it. He absolutely had to.

  He thought about Yasmin at work. A beautiful girl, a clever girl, half Iranian. Much younger than him of course but full of the proverbial Eastern Promise. And the way she looked at him made his innards melt, not exactly with desire. No, unfortunately desire was reserved for the formidable, impossible Sarah. But with longing for a softer, more comforting future. Maybe it was true you could come to love someone in time. That proximity, tenderness, consideration would bring about actual love, with desire thrown in as a wholly acceptable adjunct.

  Just then his mobile rang breaking into his mid-week, mid-afternoon reverie. The blather on the other end of the line was indecipherable, but he easily recognised it as Sarah.

  “Slow down Sarah. Calm down. What’s happened?”

  Sarah ranted on but made little sense.

  “Where are you Sarah?”

  At least he took in that she was at the police station. Colchester police station.

  “What do they think you’ve done Sarah?”

  She related in a disjointed way her arrest that morning for a possible intrusion into an old woman’s home and damage to her clothes and other goods. He asked why they thought she had done these things but got nowhere with her.

  “I think I’d better get you a solicitor Sarah.”

  She neither concurred nor objected. She just rambled on for several more minutes conveying how desperate she was to get out of the station. She couldn't bear being locked up. They weren't being obnoxious to her but she just couldn't stand being incarcerated.

  “OK. I’ll get you a solicitor. I’ll sort it out as soon as possible. Don't say anything to the police. OK? And I’ll come there myself. OK?”

  Tony cut the call, looking down at the handset. Whatever had happened to her, it was ridiculous. He then started to rack his brains about solicitors. But he’d never had so much as a motoring offence summons. He had bought his recently acquired home, modern monstrosity that he now more or less detested, through a local firm called PWT, recommended by Summer Homes the estate agents.

  It was four p.m. and he couldn't think of anything to do but call the partner, a rather nice older man called Victor Watts whom he had dealt with, to see if he could offer any advice. But wouldn't you know it. Mr. Watts had left for the day, so he was told by the rather forward young receptionist whom he remembered for her short skirts and low cut tops.

  The girl, Tammy he thought she was called, pressed him for details of what the problem was. In a fluster he told her. She asked him to hold on sounding rather breathless and put her hand over the mouthpiece for a few moments and then, sounding more relaxed, she gave him the number of the firm’s former criminal partner. Why was he a former partner Tony wanted to know and was told that Dr. Sutherland was starting his own practice which was due to open shortly and for the time being was taking on a few cases that were referred to him and that Tony was very lucky to have such a referral.

  The girl, Tammy, then became vague and Tony had the impression that there was someone else in the room with her in front of whom she needed to be careful. However he had the number, therefore he said goodbye and hung up. Dr. Sutherland at least sounded competent if names were any indication.

  Tony rang the number. Dr. Sutherland took a few details and gave him his hourly rate at which Tony had to take a sharp intake of breath. But he wanted to get Sarah out of the place as soon as possible. He agreed the terms and that he’d meet Dr. Sutherland at the station in twenty minutes.

  JUST BEFORE FIVE, DI Andrew Hunter heard that a brief had arrived to represent the Jenkinson woman who had been refusing to be interviewed without a Solicitor present. He had hoped so much that this wouldn't happen for another few hours at least and that he’d be able to go and meet Alison for a drink as previously arranged. When he heard that it was Hugh Sutherland, he knew it wouldn't be a quick bit of advice by Hugh and then out. He knew that Hugh would hang on in there until he got the woman released by whatever means possible. In the circumstances, he had to ring Alison and rearrange things for the following evening.

  As it turned out, Hugh spent two hours talking to the woman before announcing that she wouldn't be interviewed at all and that if they thought they had enough evidence they should charge her or else let her go. They had no DNA analysis, no fingerprint evidence, no forensic evidence, no evidence of a break-in, and no positive ID of Ms. Jenkinson by the woman whose house had allegedly been invaded and whose clothing and other goods had been damaged.

  All they had was the fact that Ms. Jenkinson had happened to be in the old woman’s garden that morning when the police arrived, the front open plan garden where she might have strayed off the pavement by accident. And that she happened to be in possession of a penknife. But then she lived only a few doors away. If it was trespass Hugh Sutherland was saying, then that wasn't a crime as the police well knew. In fact, for all anyone knew, the old lady Mrs. Watkins might be making the whole thing up.

  Andrew hear Hugh out. Ms. Jenkinson wasn't giving any statement therefore it wasn't possible to try to trip her up as to why she was in the garden. No doubt later she’d say she was looking for something, visiting the old woman, taking a short cut, that she’d picked up the knife in the garden. Whatever.

  They had to let Ms. Jenkinson go without bail or anything. Andrew came out after she’d had her possessions returned to her and had been discharged in order to watch her in the reception area where the man who had arrived with Hugh was still waiting. The man tried to put his arms round Ms. Jenkinson but she had fought him off and the two had left together walking several feet apart. Hugh had shrugged at Andrew and walked out after them.

  Andrew noted that it was gone half eight and therefore much too late to expect to find Alison still at work and still maybe wanting to meet with him. He hoped it would be OK the following day.

  CHAPTER 9

  August

  SINCE HUGH HAD left the firm, PWT’s criminal department had survived with a succession of young solicitors, all locums, who had all left for various reasons, some after just a few days. One had stormed out because Baz had been very rude to him. Another had been asked to leave for bad time-keeping, a dishevelled appearance and a generally slovenly attitude. And a third, a woman, because some of the firm’s existing clients had complained about her acerbic attitude and the odd caustic remark. And Baz didn't like her.

  At the moment the firm was without a criminal assistant solicitor at all, it having proved impossible to fill the permanent post. The partners simply couldn't agree on the right person. Nonetheless Tammy had been instructed by Baz that on no account was she to tell callers where Hugh was or give out any contact details, even when they asked for him specifically. Everyone thought this was extremely unfair and Tammy was good at finding ways to put people in touch with Hugh. She often handed out his private mobile number or she obtained callers’ numbers and then phoned Ali or Hugh on the quiet.

  In this manner, Hugh built up quite a practice before he even opened his new office or had his big publicity splash.

  HUGH PUZZLED OVER the woman Sarah Jenkinson. She seemed intelligent, not obviously deranged but very distressed.

  He’d urged her to tell him everything. He said he couldn't help her unless she was completely honest with him. So it had all come spilling out. Her odd dreams, the students next door and her suspicions that food she’d eaten there may have been laced with some substance or other. Having woken up sometimes out of bed with evidence about her of the odd things she subsequently discovered had happened in the vicinity of where she lived. But she had no actual recollection of having done anything. That this sort of thing had never happened before. She hadn't ever sleep-walked to her knowledge. At this point she had mentioned Tony Rayner, the man who had contacted Hugh, and said she’d spent a lot of time with him some years ago and had contacted him lately just to find out if she had acted strangely when they were together and he had said that she hadn't.

  She had no idea how she’d come to be in the neighbour’s garden that morning or in possession of a knife when the police arrived. Hugh understood that they had been summoned after the old woman had made an hysterical 999 call from her bed as soon as the intruder had left.

  Hugh had left Sarah temporarily to speak to Tony and had spent about twenty minutes pacing up and down outside with him to try to get his take on the case. The incidents seemed to be escalating and in due course someone might get hurt. Therefore Hugh tried to impress upon Tony that if Sarah was responsible for them, then for her own good, it would be best to endeavour to establish that and get Sarah some help. Tony however was convinced that Sarah wasn't responsible.

  Hugh tried to find out what was the actual nature of Tony’s relationship with Sarah and, on learning that what it amounted to was sex when Sarah felt like it, he couldn't stop himself from raising an eyebrow and smiling. Tony had appeared forlorn however and clearly didn't find the situation at all humorous. So that was the position. He wondered if perhaps Tony might not move in with Sarah at least temporarily until the incidents ceased to make sure of things. Tony said he doubted Sarah would agree.

  So Hugh had returned to Sarah and asked her to make a detailed account of what had happened so far, in particular whom she had had contact with and anything she had done in as minute a detail as she could remember with dates and times where possible, just in case anyone was somehow administering some sort of drug to her, and that she should continue to make a record. She should record her daily routine whether any untoward events in the neighbourhood happened or not. Perhaps some sort of pattern would emerge. Sarah told him that shouldn't be too difficult. As a writer, she didn't see many people at all.

  Hugh had decided he could get her out now without any charge. He’d have to follow a few formalities later such as obtaining evidence of her ID and then that would probably be that for the time being. Therefore she should carry on keeping her diary in as much detail as possible in case anything further occurred. He also mentioned Tony moving in with her.

 

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