Breakaway, p.17
Breakaway, page 17
Now that’s happened, and if his game wasn’t back before, it definitely is now. He’ll be able to have any girl he wants—because who wouldn’t want to sleep with the captain of the hockey team? Combine his status with his reputation, which I know firsthand is worth every word, and he won’t have to worry about relaxing before games for the rest of the season or the next one, and certainly not when he graduates and scoops up the splashy rookie deal he wants so badly. Why would he want to keep up a thing with a girl who hasn’t even let him fuck her pussy yet when he could have that and more, all in one night, from any number of girls who will mob him the moment he walks out of the locker room post-game?
“I’m sorry for what I said the night of the party,” Sebastian says.
I shake my head slightly as I look over at him. “What?”
“I was too harsh to you. I know you care about him.”
I swallow. “Yeah, he’s a good guy. A good friend.”
Sebastian just nods. Pathetically, I want to ask him what Cooper has said about me. I want—need—the answer to be what I just said. She’s a good friend.
Even though I desperately want to keep going through The List with him and him alone, this is the out we both need. And since I can’t bear to hear it from him, I need to be the one to say it first.
* * *
McKee crushes Merrimack 7–0. It’s such a high score for hockey that it’s hard to believe, but the whole team brought incredible pressure in the first period, and just never let up. To Victoria’s delight, Aaron Rembeau made several spectacular saves. I watch as she meets him outside the locker room, and if she had any worry about their status before, the way his eyes light up as he goes to kiss her hello puts that all to rest.
“Great, let’s hit up Lark’s first,” Sebastian is saying to Mia. The two of them have taken it upon themselves to arrange the afterparty. I’m petrified of trying to use my fake ID at a bar my dad could stroll into at any moment, so I’ll be drinking a soda there, but it’ll be worth it to celebrate the win with the team.
Cooper walks out of the locker room with Evan, freshly showered and still looking a little stunned.
When he spots us lingering, he smiles. “How’d you all get back here?”
“Penny sweet-talked her way in,” Sebastian says. He claps Cooper on the back. “How’s the captain?”
“Exhausted,” he says. He played a clean game, no penalties, and showed off his skill set beautifully. I hope an NHL scout was in the stands, or will at least get the tape of this game, because it showed him at his best. Some hockey players, defensemen especially, rely on their physicality to keep the puck away from their guy’s net, but Cooper is a true skill player. When he goes pro, I’d be willing to bet he leads the league in points as a rookie. It’s one reason my father was so insistent that he clean up his act—a player like him needs to stay on the ice, not rack up time in the box, even if he’s ready at a moment’s notice to go fisticuffs.
“You clocked over half an hour of ice time,” Evan says dryly. “Coach couldn’t keep you off.”
“Keeping track now, huh?” Cooper says, play-punching Evan in the stomach. They wrestle for a moment, both laughing; even if Cooper is exhausted, he has more than enough energy for the night ahead. I ignore the flicker of desire that pokes its head up hopefully. It’s time to squash it.
“Hey, when you play, I play,” Evan says. “I was dragging by the end.”
“Great game,” one of the other players, a guy I don’t recognize, says as he passes. Another guy claps Cooper on the shoulder, giving him a nod, but his buddy, who I vaguely recognize as Brandon Finau, scowls. Clearly not everyone is thrilled about the decision to name Cooper the captain.
I can see Dad at the other end of the hallway, talking to his coaching staff, so I tug on Cooper’s sleeve. I’m sure that he noticed me at the game, but I’ll just text him congratulations later; I don’t want to get drawn into a conversation with him right now. Not to mention that he’d flip if he smelled the alcohol on my breath. “Let’s head out.”
Since everyone is a little sloshed already, we just start walking toward downtown. The cold stings less with whiskey in my belly, but I still stick close to Cooper. He’s like a furnace, and it’s magical. He took my hand the moment we left the building, and I know I should pull away—more accurately, I should ask if we can talk—but it’s too nice to steal the warmth radiating from him to want to ruin it out here in the cold. The group, Victoria and Aaron, Dani and Will and Allison, Izzy and Mia, Sebastian, Rafael, and Hunter, and Evan and Jean too, breaks away from us as we turn onto Main Street. I realize this is by design the moment Cooper pulls me behind a bush and kisses me hard on the lips.
Sneaky bastard.
I wrap my arms around his neck, standing on my tiptoes for better leverage as I kiss back. It’s automatic, as natural as breathing. We make out for what must be five minutes at least, his hands underneath my sweater all the while. I shiver, but not from the cold; his fingertips feel like little candle flames. When he eventually steps back, it’s a reluctant unwinding, pulling out one hand and then the other, licking into my mouth one more time before taking a breath.
“Cooper,” I say. My voice feels thick. I’m nowhere near drunk, but for a moment I wish I was. Drunk me would forget what she needs to do. “You made captain.”
“All thanks to you, Red,” he says.
Fuck, his voice sounds tender. I shake my head. “No. This was all you. You’re so fucking talented, you would have gone first round in the draft if you’d entered.”
That makes his mouth twist. “Doesn’t matter,” he says. “What matters is now.”
“Yes,” I say, seizing upon that like a life raft in shark-infested waters. Only the sharks aren’t sharks, they’re feelings, and I really, really don’t want to be devoured by them. Not when I know the way out, in the end, is filled with pain. “You got what you wanted. We don’t . . . have to continue doing this. Don’t feel obligated when I’m sure there are, like, half a dozen girls at Lark’s right now, just waiting for you to come in.”
He’s quiet so long I almost repeat myself, but then he shoves his hands into his jacket pockets and looks at the frosted-over ground.
“Is that what you want?”
Chapter 33
Penny
I stare at him for a long, frozen moment.
Yes.
No.
No, it’s not what I want, but I can’t fall for him, and he can’t fall for me, and somewhere in between banter about books and stupid texting conversations and gummy bears and sex so good I cry, I think that’s what might be happening, and if I give in and the whole thing shatters, if my life shatters for a third fucking time—
“Yes,” I manage to say, even though my chest is aching like someone just struck it with an anvil. “It’s what I want.”
“But we didn’t finish your list.”
“It’s . . . it’s fine. It’s whatever.”
“Bullshit,” he says, his gaze searching mine. He swipes his hand through his damp hair. “Penny, why are you lying? What happened?”
I open my mouth—to say what, I don’t know—but before I can muddle through my thoughts, a plaintive little meow breaks the silence.
“Was that a cat?” he says, looking around.
I drop to my knees, wiping furtively at my cheeks to get rid of the stubborn tears, and peer underneath the bush. “Oh my God, there’s a kitten.”
Cooper gets to his knees too, putting his hand on my arm to stop me from reaching into the bush. “Wait, it might bite. Let me do it.”
He carefully pokes around the underside of the bush. There’s another meow, louder this time, and then he pulls out a skinny orange cat with big, amber-colored eyes. I’m not sure how old it is, but if I had to guess, only a couple of months. It hisses, showing Cooper its teeth. I reach out for it, and Cooper gingerly deposits it in my arms. It curls up in the crook of my elbow, giving him a look that clearly says it thinks I’m the superior option here.
“Does it know I’ve never interacted with a cat before?” Cooper says.
“Never?”
“Never. Be careful, it could have rabies.”
“I doubt it.” I stroke my finger between its ears, and it meows again, sounding a lot less annoyed. It must have been freezing underneath that bush. “I wonder what it’s doing here, it’s cold.”
“There’s no tag?”
“Nothing.”
“Weird,” he says, brushing his hands on his knees before straightening up. “Should we like . . . bring it to the firehouse or something?”
I raise an eyebrow as I stand. “Isn’t that for babies?”
“Probably.” He eyes the thing like he expects it to start howling like a banshee. “Be careful, Pen. It could hurt you.”
I laugh. “Cooper, it’s a three-pound kitten. Hardly threatening.”
“I don’t trust it.”
“Stop being such a baby. Look, it’s cute.” I hold it up. It meows again, batting at the air with a tiny paw. “I had a cat when I was little, they’re perfectly adorable animals.”
“Dogs are perfectly adorable animals,” he says. “Cats are magical beings with malicious intent.”
I hug the kitten closer to my chest. It needs a bath for sure, and some food. I can’t even keep a cat in my dorm room, but I’m already hoping that when we bring it to a vet, they don’t find a microchip. If anything, I can try to convince my dad to take it in. “Can it stay at your place tonight?”
He wrinkles his nose. “Fine. Let’s take it back to the house. It’s not like we can bring it to the bar.”
I bundle the kitten inside my coat, which it must appreciate because it rewards me with a purr. “I think it’s a her.”
We each send a text—to Mia and Sebastian, respectively—and head toward his house. It’s cowardly, but having something immediate to focus on makes it easy to ignore our unfinished conversation. It doesn’t even feel awkward as we walk together, and I can’t decide if that’s a positive or a negative.
When we get to the house, Cooper heads straight for the kitchen. He grabs a bowl and fills it with water, then takes a can of tuna out of the pantry. “This is probably fine to give her, right?”
I settle on the floor, sitting with my legs crossed, and pull out the cat, holding on so she won’t bolt. “Yeah. Just a little. She might just want the water for now.”
He spoons a bit of the tuna into another bowl, then sets both down on the floor. He sits with his back to the refrigerator, looking at the kitten with a dubious expression one might usually reserve for slightly expired cheese, but I catch a flash of relief when she goes for the water and takes a couple of sips.
I stroke a hand down her back. “Can I give her a bath in your sink?”
“Sure, sweetheart.”
I swallow. “Callahan.”
“I don’t want to change things, Penny.” He reaches out tentatively and rubs the kitten’s ear. She looks at him, but doesn’t back away or anything. Even though she’s not a newborn, fortunately, she’s still tiny, and his hand looks so big in comparison. “We started something, and I want to finish it. I don’t want to sleep with anyone else right now.”
I bite my lip. “What happened to one-time hookups?”
“I changed the rules for you.” He reaches over, cupping my chin with his hand and tilting my head up, so we’re looking each other in the eyes. I swallow; he looks as intense as he did when a hit slammed him into the boards right in front of our faces late in the second period. “Tell me you really want to stop, and I’ll respect that, but if you’re asking, I want to keep going.”
It would be smart to put distance between us. To try to just be friends. But he could tell I was lying, and I can’t bring myself to try it twice. Not when my heart is hammering and I’m dying to kiss him so badly, I’m having trouble thinking straight.
“Fine, but we’re not dating,” I manage to say.
“I know.” He rubs his thumb across my cheek. “There’s so much more I want to do with you.”
“Show me,” I whisper.
He leans in, kissing me firmly on the lips, but the kitten meows loudly. We both succumb to laughter, breaking away as the kitten leaps into Cooper’s lap; the initial distrust seems to be fading quickly. He picks her up, looking her in the eyes, and she reaches out to bat at his nose.
“Besides,” he says, “I need us to be good. We’re cat parents now.”
When he stands, I follow. He hands the kitten off to me, clearing away the sink and running the water.
“I thought you didn’t even like cats,” I say.
“I don’t,” he says. “I like this cat. We’re going to take it to the vet tomorrow, and if it doesn’t belong to anyone, we’re keeping her. So buckle up, because you’re Mommy and I’m Daddy.”
“If we’re her parents,” I say, trying to keep my voice even although I’d really like to let out a happy scream, “she needs a name. The cat I had when I was little was named Lady.”
For some reason, that makes him snort. “Sorry,” he says, checking the water temperature with his finger. “Just makes me think of Game of Thrones. Which we’re watching next, by the way.”
“Um, no. I was going to suggest Twilight.”
“We’ll watch both.” He looks back at me and the cat. “Tangerine.”
“What?”
“Her name. It should be Tangerine.”
I hold her up. She doesn’t seem to mind the name, necessarily, but that might just be because she’s eyeing the sink like she knows she’s about to suffer the indignity of a bath. “Tangy?”
He kisses me. “Yeah, like you. Your taste, anyway.”
“Cooper.”
He grins. “What?”
“You’re the worst.”
“Sure,” he says, his eyes practically sparkling with amusement. “Get over here, Mother of Cats.”
Chapter 34
Penny
I’ve never had baby fever, aside from the occasional reaction to a well-written breeding kink scene, but if I become a parent, I think it’s going to go something like this. In the past week, Cooper and I have texted about nothing but Tangerine. Tangerine’s feeding schedule. Tangerine’s shots at the vet. Tangerine’s progress with the litter box. He snuck her into my dorm room last night, and she made biscuits with her little paws on his chest while we watched Eclipse. He keeps saying that he’s still warming up to her, but I’ve seen the pictures he sends. He’s obsessed with her, and so am I, and that couple with the tiny baby we saw at Target a couple of days ago while we were buying Tangerine a proper cat bed has nothing on us.
Currently, though, Tangerine is staring at Cooper as he tries—again—and fails—again—to teach her how to play fetch. I finish scribbling an answer in my lab notebook and peer down at them. I’m on my stomach on his bed, homework spread out around me. He had been working on a paper, but boredom eventually won out, and now he’s on the floor, sitting cross-legged while Tangerine stares at him.
“She’s not going to do it,” I say.
“She will,” Cooper insists. “She was interested in it earlier. Tangy, show Penny what we’ve been working on.”
Tangerine just flicks her tail, blinking her bright eyes. Her collar, which is hot pink and covered in rhinestones since Izzy came with us to PetSmart to buy it, stands out against her now-shining fur. She looks nothing like she did a week ago, all muddied and half-frozen; I swear she’s gained a pound already.
He tosses the toy mouse again, and again she watches it sail over her head with only mild interest. He sighs, scratching her between the ears. “All right,” he says. “If it’s just between you and Daddy, that’s cool.”
I sort through the papers in my binder. The lab report I’ve been working on for the past hour is, to put it kindly, a mess. I had to redo the math in step one approximately seventeen times. And now I can’t find the data collection sheet I need to move on to the next section. “Shit.”
“Something wrong?”
“I left something I need at my dad’s house.” I sit up, biting my lip as I check the time on my phone. “This is due tomorrow; I need to go get it.”
“I can drive you.”
“It’s only like three blocks over.”
“I’ll walk with you, then. You said he went out, right?”
I sigh as I slide off the bed and grab my boots. “Yeah. He wouldn’t say, but I think he’s on a date.”
He grins, snatching up Tangerine for a kiss before depositing her on the bed. “Go Coach.”
I roll my eyes. “I wouldn’t even mind. It’s not like I want him to be alone. But he’s so secretive about it, like he thinks I’ll die if I hear he has a girlfriend.”
“Do you know who she is?”
“I have an idea, but I’m not sure.” I open the door, and Tangerine jumps off the bed rather athletically, running out into the hallway. She adores sleeping on Izzy’s bed.
“Iz, we’re heading out for a few minutes,” Cooper calls.
Instead of answering, we hear Izzy shriek, “Tangy! You can’t jump on my computer!”
He snorts as he leads the way down the stairs. “Do I know her?”
“Yes.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Tell me.”
We bundle into our coats and head out into the cold. I wouldn’t mind driving, actually, but in case Dad is around, I wouldn’t want him to see Cooper’s truck. “I think it’s Nikki.”
“Our boss Nikki?”
“Yep. They’ve known each other for a long time. She trained with my mother. She’s the one who told him about the coaching position at McKee.”
“Huh. Like I said, go Coach. She’s pretty hot.”
I roll my eyes again, but he’s right, she’s beautiful. That’s about as far down that road as I’m willing to get, so I’m relieved when we reach the house. As I unlock the door, Cooper peers around like he’s standing in front of a haunted house, not one of the many perfectly pleasant colonials on this block.
“This is kind of weird,” he says. “I’ve never been to Coach’s house before.”
