Breakaway, p.27
Breakaway, page 27
I smile as his lips move against mine. “Happy birthday, babe.”
“Did you do all this?” he asks as he glances around the room. We moved the furniture to the walls to make room for a dance floor, and thanks to all the decorations Izzy and I got earlier, the whole thing is decked out in blue-and-silver balloons and streamers. Instead of a cake, we opted for cupcakes in different flavors from the bakery in town, frosted purple and white with little edible swords stuck down the middle. Sebastian and James are planning to man the bar in the kitchen, Bex has a film camera to take pictures, and we even have a fire pit going in the back for anyone who wants a break from the inside but doesn’t want to freeze their ass off. Throw in the beer pong and darts tournaments his teammates are planning, and it ought to be Cooper’s favorite type of party.
“It was Izzy’s idea,” I admit. “For your Cooper Day. But Sebastian and I helped plan it. Bex too, and Evan and Remmy and Mia, and James helped keep you away for the day.”
He shakes his head in disbelief. “So basically everyone. This is incredible, Red. Thank you.”
I beam at him. “How does it feel to get to throw out the fake IDs?”
“Like I’m a new man.” He hugs me closer, putting his chin on top of my head and swaying us to the sound of Kurt Cobain’s voice. I listen as he greets someone, accepting birthday wishes. I press my face against his throat and ignore whoever they are.
He strokes his hand through my hair. I have it half up, half down, specifically because the other day while we were playing Super Smash Bros., he glanced over mid-race and said, “You look goddamn gorgeous when your hair is like that.”
My mid-thigh, long-sleeved, baby doll–blue velvet dress has a plunge neckline I can get away with braless, making even my practically nonexistent boob situation look enticing. I’m wearing the thigh-high boots that he loves and a scrap of lacy panties with tights that I am actively hoping he’ll rip, and in my purse, I have something ridiculous that will help to cross out the only other item on The List besides vaginal sex—roleplaying—and I know he’ll be into it. I’ve seen how he looks at Arwen enough times to get the hint that elf ears are a turn-on for him, and since he’s been good-natured about a version of him starring as a werewolf in the book I’m writing, I can do this. The sillier I can keep things, the looser and more relaxed I’ll feel, and I’ll need all the help I can get later.
Eventually, we break away from each other. He holds on to my hand as we weave through the party. Sebastian makes him a slap shot, and I snag a hard seltzer for myself before we meld into a group of his teammates, already engrossed in a game of darts. I chat with Evan, Victoria, and Mia while Cooper plays and wins the first game, because apparently his general athleticism applies to anything he tries. It’s also fucking sexy to watch, a fact that Victoria teases me about when it’s clear I’m not concealing my blush all that well. While he’s getting set up for another round, he tilts his head back for a kiss, and it takes every ounce of effort I have not to drag him upstairs right this second.
“Want to play?” he asks. “Next game?”
“I don’t think I’ll be good at it.” I wrinkle my nose. “I’m not good at things that involve . . . whatever this involves.”
“Hand-eye coordination,” Mia supplies. She quirks up her lips, matte black and as neat as her winged eyeliner, and raises her glass to me. She’s wearing black skinny jeans, heels that I’d break an ankle in, and a halter top that she somehow pulls off despite the highlighter shade of green; people have been staring at her since the moment the party got going. She’ll have her pick at the end of the night, and I’m sure that’ll leave a trail of broken hearts. “You can do a lot more with your feet.”
“That’s what she said,” Izzy says slyly as she glides by. She’s wearing a silver mini dress with white leather boots and plenty of glittery makeup. When Sebastian saw her, he joked that she looked like a go-go dancer, and honestly, the comparison is apt. She did her hair in the bathroom while Mia helped me with my makeup, and now it hangs around her face in big, soft curls. Too bad that if any guy even thinks about staring at her, he’ll get the attention—and not the good kind—of three older brothers. Compared to her and Mia, I feel like a kid playing dress-up.
I reach out and grab Izzy’s hand. “Iz, this looks amazing.”
She beams. “Maybe I should become a party planner.”
“You really could,” Mia says. She gestures at the space with her drink, already down to just the ice. It feels more crowded than before, somehow. I wonder when all these people arrived, and if Cooper knows them all, or if they just heard there was a party at the Callahans’, which never happens, and swung by. It makes my skin itch, the thought of random strangers just showing up. “The thought of being in charge of arranging something like this makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a dart, but you’d be good at it.”
“Mood,” Victoria agrees, accepting another drink from Remmy when he comes around with a cocktail for her and a beer for him. He kisses her lightly on the lips, which makes me smile. “But you’re fantastic.”
“And a little terrifying,” Sebastian adds, right on Remmy’s heels with a beer in one hand and a cocktail in the other. “I bought the wrong salsa, and I had to go back to the store.”
He hands the cocktail to Mia, who looks at it with a singular arched brow before trading him her empty glass for the full one. “You weren’t kidding when you said you’d be my personal bartender.”
Sebastian takes a long sip of beer before answering, “Darling, you ought to know by now that I stick to my word.”
Cooper and I glance at each other. Mia and Sebastian are both flirtatious by nature, but honestly, I don’t even think Mia likes him all that much. Then again, Mia doesn’t like many people, so that’s not generally a good way to measure her interest in someone.
“I didn’t even know there was a wrong kind of salsa,” Cooper says. “That sounds fake.”
Izzy huffs out a breath. “I give you the best Cooper Day since the Rangers meet and greet, and these are the thanks I get?”
He laughs, ruffling her hair. “Thanks, Iz. You’re the best little sister a guy could ask for.”
“Don’t touch the hair,” she grumbles, but I catch sight of her smile. Not for the first time, I wonder what it must be like to be her. She’s so glamorous, but she’s willing to get down and dirty for volleyball, and growing up with three overprotective jocks for older brothers? It sounds so foreign to me I can hardly imagine it. “We’re singing ‘Happy Birthday’ in an hour.”
Cooper groans. “And leave me to stand around awkwardly while you do?”
“It’ll be fun,” she says. “Right, Penny?”
I shrug, blinking at Cooper innocently. “It is a birthday party.”
“I should have known that you and Izzy would be an awful combination,” he grouses. “I regret pushing you to be friends.”
I just reach up and kiss his cheek. “Show me how to play darts.”
Chapter 55
Penny
I’m terrible at it, as I could have predicted. I send more darts into the wall than the board despite Cooper’s help, but at least it makes everyone laugh. When the game ends, I lean against the wall gratefully. Being the center of attention, even for something dumb like a terrible darts game, doesn’t make me feel good.
I wrap my arms around my stomach and watch as Cooper chats with his teammates. Even Brandon is here. Evan insisted that Cooper would want the entire team, even the guys he doesn’t get along with that well, to be here. I’m sure he’s just trying to keep things good with the team. It’s why I didn’t protest, because especially now, hockey comes first—but Brandon was an asshole for what he did, and even if Cooper has moved on, I haven’t.
I’m staring. Brandon makes eye contact with me, no doubt feeling my gaze, and raises his beer. I try to smile, but my face feels like plastic.
“Penny, drink?” Sebastian asks as he walks to the kitchen.
A drink can’t hurt. It’s a party, after all. I’ll just eat a bunch of cupcakes to soak up the booze. “Sure, thanks.”
He brings back a slap shot for me and another for Cooper. I gulp it down a little too fast. The whiskey burns my throat, making my eyes water, but I like it. I like the way it settles like fire in my belly. I ask for another, and down that one too.
Mia pulls me into the center of the room so we can hop along to some choice tracks from Reputation. Izzy and Bex join us, plus Victoria and Dani, and soon pretty much every girl in the room is dancing while the guys look on, some of them whistling and holding up their phones like they’re at a concert. As one song blends into the next, I realize that the edges of the room look hazy. The music sounds distant, as if I’m hearing it from underwater. James comes by with a tray of shots, and I grab two, downing one and shoving the other at Mia. She holds it up, grinning, before throwing it back.
Bex uses her camera to take a couple of Polaroids. “One of the birthday boy and his girl!” she shouts over the music.
Cooper shimmies over, wrapping his arms around my waist and hooking his chin over my shoulder. My heart thuds, but somehow, I smile as Bex takes the picture. She shakes it to help it develop, then passes it over to us. Cooper is grinning; he put up rabbit ears behind my head. I’m smiling, but I look about as comfortable as I feel. Set apart from him, even though I’m in his arms.
“Adorable,” Bex says. “I’m so glad you’re together.”
I swallow back the onslaught of emotion and say, “Thanks. I’m glad too.”
Cooper kisses me, but before we get too into it, Evan whistles and drags him away to do shots with Mickey and Jean and a bunch of other guys from the team. I weave through the crowd slowly, looking for Mia, but I don’t see her; when I get to the kitchen, it’s empty except for, of all people, Brandon. I try to back out quickly, but he spots me.
“Penny?” he asks.
I swallow, resisting the urge to flee to the living room.
“What?”
He gestures to me with his beer. “Can we talk?”
Part of me wants to say no, but he looks sincere enough. If Cooper had a real problem with him, he’d have told me, right? He was an asshole to both of us in Vermont, but that doesn’t mean he’s not capable of being nice. I take a step forward, feeling a little unsteady; the whiskey is hitting me hard.
“I just wanted to apologize,” he says, walking around the counter and leaning against it. I take another wobbly step, and he reaches out to keep me on my feet. He grimaces, holding on to my forearm. “I was an utter asswipe, and I’m sorry. I respect Coach Ryder, and you and him. I was just bitter. I shouldn’t have gotten involved with—”
I jerk away from him.
Tropic Blue.
“Penny?” he says, frowning. “You okay?”
Now that I’ve smelled his cologne, it’s the only thing I can notice. It’s pouring into me like smoke, an ugly plume of seawater and oak. I almost gag; I turn my head to the side to take in a clean breath, but it won’t fucking leave. I glance down at my hands. They’re trembling, yet I can’t feel them. I can’t feel anything, actually, and the music in the background has faded to a far-off tune, and two seconds ago I was warm, with whiskey in my belly, but now I feel so cold, it’s like I stripped naked and walked out into the February night.
Tropic Blue. I haven’t smelled that since Preston, and yet my nose remembers every note. He was wearing it that night, doused himself in it. I smelled it on him, and at the time it turned me on. Other girls’ boyfriends wore Axe, but mine had already upgraded to a real cologne. He was a man, and that night I snuck upstairs with him at Jordan’s party, I was determined for him to make me into a woman.
Kisses in the upstairs hallway. Finding an empty room. Taking a couple hits from his joint, even though it made my eyes water.
I shut my eyes, like that will dislodge the memory playing in my mind like a movie. I press my palms against my face. I think Brandon’s still talking to me, but I can’t hear past the dull ringing in my ears, and I can’t focus on a fucking thing but the scent on his skin. He grabs my arms, pulling my hands away from my eyes; I shove him backward and make a break for it. I need to get away. If I can just get away, he can’t film me—
I push through the room and dash for the stairs. I can’t breathe. My throat feels like someone shoved hot coals down it, and everyone’s face is a big blur, a smudge of a memory. I stumble upstairs, almost falling as I miss a step. My vision blurs as I yank open the door to Cooper’s room, slamming it shut behind me. I slide to the floor, taking in a big gulping sob as I bury my head in my arms. I still can’t feel a thing, not my feet or my hands, but my heart is thudding like it’s about to fly right out of my chest.
I’m in Cooper’s house.
I’m in New York.
Cooper.
I’m with Cooper, not Preston. I don’t even know where Preston is right now. I know where my boyfriend is, though. He’s downstairs having a good time on his birthday. I’m his girlfriend, and I should be by his side, but instead I’m up here, alone. Stupid. Drowning.
Seawater and oak. Spraying it on my wrists because I wanted to smell like him. He loved that, didn’t he? He had me wrapped around his finger.
The glass bottle was deep blue with a turquoise top. Prettier than your eyes, he’d said, the day I discovered it, in his room with him for the first time. Had he been planning it even then? What about me made him decide I was the perfect girl to betray?
I try to take a step, but fall to the floor, hitting my head on the corner of the bookcase next to the window. Pain shoots through my forehead, but I grit my teeth and crawl to the closet. I need to get the scent out of my nose. I need to shake the memory free, and I need to tear it to fucking pieces.
Somehow, I make it to the closet. I pull it open and crawl inside, curling up into a ball on top of a pile of shoes. I reach up and grab at a random sweater, pulling it from the hanger and burying my face in it. Cooper’s musky scent fills my nose, and my next sob is one of relief. I can do this; I can calm myself down. Five quick minutes and I’ll be back at the party.
“Red? Baby, where’d you go?” The voice sounds distant, but at least I know it’s Cooper’s. Preston never called me Red.
Not fast enough.
Chapter 56
Cooper
“This is a fucking good drink,” I tell Seb as I throw my arm over his shoulders, pulling him into a sideways hug. He’s not expecting my weight, so we fall against the wall together, but that just makes both of us laugh. “You really designed it yourself?”
“Sharp, just like you, bro,” he says, grinning at me. “Sweet, too.”
“The first part sounded pretty badass.”
“Yeah, well. You’re so sweet on Penny, it gives me a goddamn toothache.”
I don’t even have a retaliation, and the worst—or possibly best—part is that I don’t want to retaliate. So what, I’m sweet on my girl. She’s everything to me. I’ll take being whipped if it means I can get on my knees to worship her.
So instead, I just ruffle Seb’s hair, pressing a quick kiss to his temple. “Thanks, brother.”
I’ve had plenty of memorable Cooper Days, but this tops all the rest. Having everyone I care about here, all my siblings, my friends and teammates, my girlfriend, makes my heart swell bigger than I thought it ever could. The only bad part about having everyone around is that I can’t drag Penny away and take off that little blue dress she’s wearing. If it wouldn’t be rude, I’d insist on running upstairs for a quickie.
I glance around as I sip my drink, but I don’t see her. With almost everyone piled into the living room, we’re way past capacity, but everywhere I look, I see a familiar face. I’m sure Izzy didn’t intend it this way, but it’s a nice reminder of all the connections I’ve made so far at McKee. Uncle Blake got me thinking about the draft again, but if I entered it and then a team called me up? I might never have developed such tight bonds with Evan or Remmy. I wouldn’t have gotten to live with James one more time last year. Worst of all, there’s a good chance I wouldn’t have met Penny at all, and she’s everything to me. Even the thought of that hurts. I rub my chest as I settle against the wall.
Bex took a Polaroid of the two of us just a couple minutes ago, and that picture is going in my wallet first thing in the morning. I shake my head, smiling into my plastic cup. When I found out that James had a picture of Bex in his wallet, I teased him mercilessly. Now, I’m going to be the one dying to pull it out and show everyone. Hey, want to see my girlfriend? Isn’t she the most beautiful woman in the world?
“We should get some beer pong going,” Evan says, nudging my side. “Try and beat last time’s record.”
“Definitely,” says Remmy. “I call Vic for my team.”
Evan groans. “That means he’s going to want Penny to partner up with him.”
Remmy laughs. “All my love to Pen, but if she can’t throw a dart, what makes you think she can throw a ping-pong ball?”
I shrug. “Well, yeah. But I don’t care.”
“Because you’re whipped,” Jean says, thick through a mouthful of chips. “She’s got a rope of fucking fire around your throat.”
“You some kind of secret poet?” Remmy says. “Got a touch of country in you?”
“They have cowboys in Canada too,” Jean says, exaggerating his accent so Remmy bursts out laughing.
Evan sighs, looking around the party. “What do you think my chances with Mia are?”
Seb snorts. He claps Evan on the shoulder. “Buddy, respectfully, she’d eat you alive and spit out your jock strap.”
“I could fuck with that,” Mickey says, breaking away from his conversation with a chick I vaguely recognize as a friend of Izzy’s. She gives him an outraged look and stalks off. I wince, but he doesn’t seem to notice.
