Coffee sonata, p.10
Coffee Sonata, page 10
A muted whimper escaped Mike. Vivian felt it against her cheek and turned her head to whisper a word of comfort.
“Don’t…talk,” Mike said. Her lips were close enough for Vivian to feel them move against her skin.
“You’re trembling,” Vivian murmured after a moment of silence. “Why is that?”
Mike tensed in her arms. “You know why. Surely you must know?”
“I think so.” Vivian tightened her embrace at the naked darkness in Mike’s voice. “Are you attracted to me, Mike?”
“Oh, yes.” Mike buried her face in Vivian’s neck.
“There’s no hurry. I don’t have to go anywhere. Oddly calm, Vivian leaned back, her arms still around Mike. “We can just stay like this.”
Mike rested her head on Vivian’s shoulder. “Thank you.”
Vivian laughed. “My pleasure.” She placed two fingers underneath Mike’s chin and tipped her head back. Mike’s eyes shimmered with restrained emotions. “What is it, Mike?”
Vivian was unprepared for the intensity when Mike’s mouth closed gently over hers. The tenderness of the kiss spoke more to Vivian than if Mike had actually deepened it, demanded more. Vivian kept her arms around Mike, somehow knowing that the fragile bond between them would shatter if she let go.
Chapter Nine
Mike’s heart thrashed like a trapped animal. Vivian still held her close, their lips pressed together in a caress that stole her breath. She trembled as Vivian stroked her back in languid movements.
She simply wasn’t used to this. It had been ages, years, since anyone touched her this way. She’d fallen for Brenda’s caresses too, and gotten so scorched by life she ought to be smoking around the edges. Until now, she’d kept her distance. But this was different. This was Vivian. And all she could think was this amazing woman was returning her kiss and, more than that, holding her so tenderly.
This amazing, supposedly straight woman… Mike stiffened. It hurt to break contact, but she was already steeling her resistance, rationalizing as she retreated. She’s just being kind and understanding. She’s grateful and perhaps lonely. Or even worse, she pities me.
“Mike?” Vivian murmured, reaching for Mike, who quickly pulled back even more.
“I…I should apologize.”
Vivian regarded her silently for a long moment. “Why?”
Taken aback by the simple question, Mike tried to think of what to say. Vivian had been nothing but kind to her. “Friends should never cross some boundaries.”
Another pause. “Do you regret kissing me?”
“No! I mean, no, not from my perspective. But it wasn’t right.” Mike tugged a small pillow close and dug her fingertips into the dark brown velvet. “It won’t happen again.” She hated how desolate her words sounded.
Vivian angled her body sideways and stretched out her arm, but never averted her eyes. “Why did you kiss me?”
Mike flinched. Nothing like going in for the kill right away. “I think I lost my head.”
Vivian smiled. Not the condescending, taunting smile that Brenda had flashed at her when Mike had tried to voice her thoughts. Instead, Vivian’s smile was encouraging, lacking any malice. How could it disturb her more than anything Brenda had ever said or done?
“I think I did too.” Vivian didn’t reach for Mike again. Instead she leaned her head against her palm, briefly closing her eyes. “I’ve never kissed another woman.”
“I said I was sor—”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” Vivian shook her head. “Quite a few men and women have propositioned me during my career. I’m not inexperienced. My affairs with men were short bursts of…some type of theatrical passion. The women never interested me, at least not the ones I met at the time, and I’ve always been more committed to my work than to any special person. Singing, to me, is more than a profession. Singing is what I am.”
The clear blue eyes clouded over, and Mike forgot her own bewilderment and grasped Vivian’s free hand.
“Or what I was,” Vivian continued in a matter-of-fact voice. Mike guessed her comment was meant to cover a deep hurt, but for her, Vivian’s pain was obvious.
“Are you really retiring?”
“God, Mike. I…I don’t know.” Vivian shuddered. “I haven’t been able to say it. I’ve hardly dared think about it. I’ve always been booked years in advance, always known exactly what I was doing and when. But this upcoming concert is the last I have planned for a long time.” She closed her eyes. “I feel lost.”
Mike suddenly knew. Tenderly, she asked, “It’s your eye condition, isn’t it, Vivian?”
Vivian dragged an unsteady hand through her hair, disheveling it thoroughly. Mike held her breath when the golden locks tumbled around Vivian’s shoulders, glowing in the muted light of her living room.
“Yes.” Vivian’s voice was strangled.
Mike couldn’t stand the pain in Vivian’s face. She pulled Vivian close and, thankfully, Vivian let her hold her, her curves melded with Mike’s leaner frame.
“How bad?”
“Bad.” Vivian sighed against Mike’s skin. “Cara, I’m going blind.”
*
Manon tugged at the belt of her terry cloth robe as she left her elaborate bathroom. When the building was restored, Manon had fought the National Historical Registry about only this concession, convinced that a Jacuzzi wouldn’t destroy the protected structure.
She tiptoed over to the couch to check on Eryn. The bruise on her face was darker now, and Manon was ready to string Rex up for what he’d done, even if it was an accident. If it wasn’t, then she imagined a direr fate.
“No.”
Manon jerked when Eryn muttered in her sleep and shifted restlessly. She leaned over and barely touched her uninjured arm. “Eryn?”
“Not fair.”
Eryn was obviously dreaming, and from the sound of her voice, even if she didn’t thrash around, Manon guessed the dream was unpleasant. Her lips quivered, and tears formed at the outer corners of her closed eyes, darkening her eyelashes.
“Eryn. You’re dreaming.” Manon knelt next to the couch. “Wake up! Come on—”
“No, no.” Eryn’s eyes opened slowly, unfocused and wary. “What—”
“Just a dream. You’re fine.”
“Dream. Yes.” Eryn was obviously not quite awake.
“Here. Roll over on your right side so I can rub your back.” Immediately regretting her spontaneous suggestion, Manon waited a few seconds. “If you want.”
“Mmm, yeah. Thanks.” Eryn struggled to turn, but only when Manon helped her did she manage to move. “God, I feel helpless,” she whispered. “How long have I been asleep?”
“Two hours. I was just on my way to bed.” Manon slid up to sit next to Eryn and placed her arm around her back. She stroked her back gently, up and down, outside the large nightshirt. “How’s that?”
“Wonderful. My shoulder’s throbbing, but it’s probably too early to take any more of those dynamite pills.”
“Yes. You should wait at least another four hours.”
Eryn frowned and Manon stopped, keeping her hand at the small of Eryn’s back. “Did I hurt you?”
“No, I…the dream just flashed by. How strange. I rarely remember dreams.”
“Want to talk about it?” Manon resumed her massage. “You don’t have to.”
“It was weird. I kept seeing faces. Mom, Dad, my sisters. They were shouting at me and then ignoring me, and then shouting again. Nothing I said mattered.”
Eryn’s voice was raw, and deep with emotions.
“No wonder you were upset.” Manon instinctively moved closer. She slowed her caresses, trying to make her movements more soothing.
“Just plain silly, huh?”
“Nothing silly about it at all.” Manon shook her head. I know what nightmares can do to a person. I also know how crying through sleepless nights can eat away at your soul. Nights of tearstained pillowcases were over for her, but the thought of Eryn suffering alone through forgotten nightmares bothered her.
“Manon. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” Or maybe not?
“How do you do it? Be so poised and together all the time?”
“What?” Manon stared at Eryn and forgot to move her hand. Obviously Eryn wasn’t kidding. “Well, it takes a bit of training, which I’ve had plenty of. My grandfather and father sent me to a boarding school in Vermont when I was fourteen. You learn how to take care of yourself when you’re on your own.”
“They sent you away?” Eryn rolled over on her back, trapping Manon’s hand. “Why?”
Manon felt heat flood her cheeks. Her close proximity to Eryn was making her dizzy, and all she could see were Eryn’s sensuous lips curving as she spoke. Manon’s breath caught in her chest, and she had to clear her throat twice before she could slowly free her arm and answer.
“They didn’t send me away, exactly. My family thought I’d be better off, but I just stayed for three semesters, until I persuaded Granddad that my place was at Belmont Manor with him and Father.”
“Did they agree?” Eryn asked with concern.
“Yes. I studied with tutors over the next two years until I graduated from high school.”
“Homeschooled, huh? Wasn’t that lonely?”
Manon considered her reply and tried to control her reactions. “Not really,” she said, and was rather surprised at how true her response was. “I went with my granddad to the foundation office almost every day and did my schoolwork in one of the conference rooms. My tutors joined me there. I not only studied but learned about the company from the inside out. I became friends with some of the younger office staff, at least in the beginning.”
“And you never missed going to regular school?”
“I took physics and chemistry at a private school and participated in a few sports. I also played in the school orchestra.” However, Manon cringed at some of the memories her words produced. “I was happiest when I was at the foundation, though.”
“Sounds like you were more comfortable around adults.”
“That’s true. I had to grow up quickly when my parents divorced and Jack…” Manon regretted her choice of words immediately, aghast that she could even mention Jack this casually. What was it about Eryn, a reporter, for heaven’s sake, that made her lower her guard like this? “Anyway,” she stumbled, “a lot changed in my teens that made life very different.”
“I read about your brother,” Eryn said, placing a hand over Manon’s. “You must miss him.”
The simple words cut through pain and anger—anger mostly directed at herself for being too softhearted and weak at this moment—and left Manon astonished. I never let anyone talk to me about Jack. No one.
“Yes, I do.” The confession was even more staggering. Normally she immediately let people know, beyond any doubt, that Jack was off topic. “I loved him.”
“You still do. And he knows it, wherever he is.”
Simple words, and yet they warmed her heart, breaking through the ice that usually formed instantly when the topic of her brother’s death came up. “Thank you, Eryn.” And bless you for not prying.
“I have two sisters,” Eryn said. “One older, one younger. My parents adore them.”
Pain, different from Manon’s, but nearly tangible, permeated Eryn’s voice. Manon held on more firmly to the warm hand in hers. “And you?”
“No.”
Manon waited, unwilling to inquire further, since Eryn hadn’t.
“I’m a disappointment and have been since I was sixteen.”
Eryn’s face paled, but her eyes were bright in the dim light. A shimmer of tears? Manon said gently, “I can’t imagine that.”
“I don’t fit their mold of a good daughter. Well, I guess my father could’ve come around if he wasn’t so intimidated by my mother.”
“And your sisters?”
“They’re not like my parents. They detest being favorites, and my younger sister drives my mother half insane by bringing up ‘the issue’ at least once a week, bless her heart.”
“The issue?” Slightly bewildered, Manon had to ask.
“The fact that I’m a lesbian.”
“Oh.” Silence hung between them. Manon wasn’t surprised, exactly, but to have Eryn’s sexual preference out in the open galvanized all her own fears. She knew she sounded rigid, unyielding, but her inner alarm system wouldn’t allow her to relax.
Eryn studied her intently for a few seconds, then pulled back her hand, her eyes tired. “I see,” she said quietly, with a tone of finality. “You too.”
*
Oh, God, no! Mike wanted to cry in frustration. Instead, she pressed her lips against the top of Vivian’s head and muffled her sobs. Vivian needed reassurance and support, not an emotional weakling who needed comfort herself.
“I’m sorry to hear that, Vivian,” Mike managed, hugging her closer. “How long have you known?”
“Two months.” Vivian spoke in a dull voice, as if trying to stay detached from the horror. “In that time, my sight has slowly deteriorated. Days like last Monday are quite bad, and every day like that makes me lose more of my vision.”
“And have the doctors told you how long…” Mike didn’t want to sound too clinical, but really wanted to know.
“Within a year, perhaps much faster. It all depends on my individual version of this disease.” She sighed against Mike’s neck. “I’m sorry to unburden on you. You have enough on your plate with the café.”
“No, no. I don’t mind. Feel free to tell me anything.” Mike hated to think Vivian would be all alone to deal with such a loss. Then she had a new thought. “Unless you already have someone to confide in.”
Vivian tipped her head back, smiling with sorrow. “You’re the third person I’ve told, after Malcolm and Manon.”
“You need to talk to someone. A friend.” Mike felt her cheeks grow warm, and she stumbled over her words. “I…I hope you think of me as a friend.” At least.
“I know a lot of people, but I have very few friends,” Vivian murmured and scrutinized her.
Mike wondered if her illness distorted the way Vivian saw her.
“You’re special to me, cara.”
Special? What does that mean? Mike wanted to ask but was afraid to push too hard. Her hands were tingling from holding Vivian in her arms, and it was difficult to breathe. She stroked Vivian’s back, trying to comfort her, and felt an undeniable guilty pleasure at the touch.
“I’m glad,” Mike murmured. “I know we’ve known each other for only a week, but…I want to be here. For you.” Annoyed with herself for almost stuttering, Mike spontaneously kissed Vivian’s forehead. Her skin was smooth and the fragrance from Vivian’s hair pleasing. “I don’t mean to overstep any boundaries—”
“Shh.” Vivian cupped the back of Mike’s head. “Kisses don’t hurt. I would never want to hurt you, Mike.”
“I believe you. I do.” Mike swallowed against impending tears and felt tender. She couldn’t just switch from hiding her heart in a foxhole to trusting implicitly, but she had to reward Vivian’s faith in her. She couldn’t hold back human contact, physical or emotional. But, damn, I haven’t been this close to having my heart broken again in years. Keeping her distance from people worked well most of the time, except when the person in front of her was hurting. What’s a broken heart compared to becoming blind?
Vivian squinted and laced her fingers through Mike’s hair. “I know you don’t quite trust me, and one of these days you’re going to have to share your reason.”
Startled, Mike stiffened. “There’s really nothing very interesting to say—”
“Didn’t you hear me, cara? Not tonight. We’re fine, for tonight.” Vivian leaned her head to the side and rested it against Mike’s upper arm. “Now I have something entirely different to ask you.”
“Yes?”
“You took me by surprise. The way you kissed me, the way it felt.” Vivian blushed faintly. “I’d like to try again. A little more prepared.”
Oxygen. None. Mike forced air into her lungs. “Vivian!” Vivian’s eyes filled Mike’s entire field of vision—beautiful, glittering, and unwavering.
“Yes.”
Mike lowered her gaze to Vivian’s full mouth, slightly parted as a smile played at its corners. Filled with equal parts desire and dread, Mike leaned forward and hovered above Vivian for a breathless moment, afraid she might unleash all her built-up passion.
Vivian closed the last bit of distance, pulled Mike’s head closer, and raised her own. And she initiated the trembling embrace. Brushing her lips along Mike’s, she nibbled at them. Mike whimpered helplessly when pleasure blossomed in the pit of her stomach and flew down between her thighs.
“Vivi…”
“Mmm,” Vivian murmured against her mouth. Mike felt the tip of Vivian’s tongue explore the outline of her lips. She’s not gay! She’s not. How can she kiss me like this?
Convinced she was going to self-combust, Mike gasped.
Vivian could barely hear Mike’s sharp intake of air over the thunder of her own heart. Mike’s mouth was over hers, Mike lying half on top of her. And still it was Vivian who instigated the kiss.
Vivian could never have prepared for those incredible, soft, soft lips that parted readily. Forgive me. I have to. She slid her tongue inside and tasted a woman’s, Mike’s, mouth for the first time. She’d kissed the air next to other women’s well-made-up faces a million times and allowed quite a few men to devour her lips with more or less skill, but…this? This was entirely different.
When Mike’s tongue met hers and pushed, caressed, tentatively, but with increasing passion, Vivian could no longer remain careful. Her emotions ran high, and she invested much more in this kiss than she’d ever thought possible.
She pulled Mike closer and leaned back against the armrest. Lying with Mike on top of her, she tilted her head to allow for more ardent kisses.
Mike followed her easily, exploring Vivian’s mouth with equal parts fervor and tenderness. “Vivi,” she murmured, “I didn’t count on this. I just wanted to be…your friend.”
