Burned, p.20
BURNED, page 20
I lifted my eyes, but not my head.
“You’re forgiven,” she said and I wept. I cried so hard, I couldn’t breathe, until Jack lifted me up and took me out to the barn. He carried me the whole way, and I buried my head in his chest and cried and snotted all over his T-shirt.
“Hey,” he said, setting my feet on the floor. “C’mon. Sammy needs a good brushin’. I think he’s got a little crush on you.”
“Jack, I don’t feel like—”
“C’mon now. Trust me.”
And I did.
Taking my hand, he led me to Sammy’s stall, grabbing a bucket of brushes on the way. Sammy nickered and blew raspberries at us when Jack opened his door. “Grab a curry comb and get to work. Just concentrate on your circles.”
When I didn’t do what he said, he took my hand, pushing the comb over my fingers, lifting it to Sammy’s back and moving it in big round strokes. Sammy leaned into my touch, and I felt the warmth from his body travel into my fingers, up my arm, and into my chest, and finally, I did what Jack told me.
Jack stood back while I concentrated on combing Sammy. I placed my other hand on his back so the peace Sammy always exuded would work its way through me. Combing in circles over and over, soon, I didn’t have to think about it. My body just did it. I dropped the comb and hugged Sammy, pulling my fingers through his mane, and he reached his head back to touch my side with his nose.
Jack pulled me backward and down into the soft stall bedding. He held me in his arms like a baby, and my fear and sadness dripped and seeped and bled into him. He soaked it all up, carried it for me so I could just be.
Chapter Twenty
Jack
I carried Evvie to my bed, and she fell asleep within seconds of her head hittin’ the pillow. I stood there, just lookin’ at her for a long time. I knew she’d gone through somethin’ bad but…
I felt rage. I’d never wanted to kill another human bein’. I did now. I needed to.
If he’d left the note at her house recently, then this monster had already found her. Us. If he didn’t know she was at the ranch, it wouldn’t take him long to figure it out. Already he had some clue since he’d been pokin’ around.
“Jay.” I called his name as he came down the stairs, and we walked into the kitchen. He’d taken Ma up to bed and came down to see what the guys were doin’. He knew we needed to do somethin’.
“Stay with Evvie. She’s asleep but I don’t want her to be alone.”
“Okay, brother.”
“I’ll let you know what’s goin’ on as soon as we have a plan.” Walkin’ to the back-hall coat closet, I pulled out a shotgun and a box of shells, set ’em on the kitchen table, and looked at Jay. He inhaled deep and loaded the gun as I left the house.
The guys and Carey had all congregated in the barn.
“She okay?” Finn asked.
Closin’ my eyes, I tried to find some semblance of calm inside myself. There wasn’t much. “She’s asleep. Have you found anything?” I asked Carey, openin’ my eyes and willin’ him to give me some kinda information. Anything.
“Jack. I know this woman might mean somethin’—”
“I saw the burns, Carey,” I said through gritted teeth. “I saw the sheer fuckin’ terror in her eyes when she saw the note at her house. I know you’re tryin’ to be the impartial sheriff right now, but just tell me what we can do.”
He sighed. “Okay. The woman I called, Billie, she’s a… hacker, of sorts. I’ve worked with her before. She’s freelance now but she works similar cases. Mostly missin’ persons cases, but she can find just about anybody. She’s a friend. She’s on it and I’ve asked her to come here. She’ll find him, Jack.”
He cupped his hand on my shoulder, but I shook it off. I knew he was tryin’ to be comfortin’, but the fury I felt inside my body simmered so close to the surface. He understood and he dropped his hand.
“Listen, I dunno how this guy finds Everlea—I’m sure there’s more to her story—but I think we need to assume he’s good with computers. I don’t want anybody usin’ their cells. No Wi-Fi. Don’t even turn on the fuckin’ TV. In fact, unplug it. Unplug anything that can connect to Wi-Fi. Gimme your phones.”
He held out his hands and we all dropped our phones into ’em. “Don’t go lookin’ online for anything. We’re gonna let Billie do that ’cause she can cover her tracks. I’m gonna run, get some pre-paid phones. Don’t use Everlea’s name in any calls or texts. I’m gonna assume he knows she’s here, but in case he don’t, let’s not make it easy for him.”
“Why don’t Jack and Evvie just take off? They could go somewhere—”
“No, Kevin,” Dean argued, “we don’t know enough about him yet. And besides, if she runs, he’ll just follow. He seems to be able to find her no matter where she goes. We need to stop him so she doesn't have to run anymore.” He looked at me. “We got the motion sensor cameras around the barn for predators, but I wanna get more for the house.”
“Yeah,” Carey said, “that’s a good idea, but don’t connect ’em to Wi-Fi, Dean. Billie will be here in the mornin’. I want her to set it all up. She can make sure your computer is secure.”
“Fine. Finn and I’ll set traps around the house for tonight.”
“And Jack, don’t leave the ranch. Stay here ’cause it’ll be easier to keep her close. If you go to town, there’s a million places he could be lurkin’. There are here, too, but at least here, you know every inch. And here, you can protect yourselves if you have to. Your land. I’ll have Lee and Sims patrol ’round town, and they can do hourly drive-bys.”
I nodded, hopin’ it would be enough. My mind raced, tryin’ to come up with ways to protect Evvie.
“While Billie’s lookin’ for this guy, I’m gonna have an old buddy of mine get as much info on the fire as he can, and the record store owners. He works for the government, based outta St. Louis, so I’m gonna see if he can drive up there, to Peoria, get his hands on the actual paper files. I think, if this guy really has killed four people, there’s bound to be more. I’ll be back tonight with those phones.” Carey looked at Finn, Dean, Kevin, and me, one at a time. “Everybody, get armed. And don’t let Everlea outta your sight.”
We made it through the night, though I didn’t think any of us got more than a few minutes sleep here and there. Even Ma. She got up three or four times to check on Evvie. She called me out to the kitchen before, finally, Kevin convinced her to take the sleepin’ medication Doc Whitley had prescribed for her. Chemo could cause insomnia, and she’d had a hell of a time gettin’ any rest durin’ her last bout of cancer.
We sat in the kitchen, and she wrapped her hands around one of mine on the tabletop. “Are you okay, honey?”
“I’m fine.”
“Jack,” she sighed, “it’s okay to say how you feel.”
“I’m just tired.”
She looked at me then, studyin’ my face. “You want her, Jack. I see it in your eyes and on your face every time you look at her.”
I felt the skin on my neck heat up at the embarrassment of hearin’ her talk about Evvie and me, and of wantin’. But more than that, I was angry at her words. She was tryin’ to force this on me, tryin’ to force me to admit to what I swore I never would. It was one thing to say it to myself in my head, but I knew what was comin’, and it pissed me off and terrified me at the same time.
“You deserve love. I know how hard you tried to avoid it since your mama left, but it’s time now.”
Time? Time for what? For me to fall in love with someone who would probably leave? Or be taken away from me?
No.
“She needs help. I wanna help her. That’s all that’s goin’ on here,” I lied. “G’on up to bed now. You need your rest.”
“Don’t you condescend to me, Jack. You don’t need to tell me what’s goin’ on here. I can see it plain as day. Now, if you’re gonna choose to deny it, well then, I reckon that’s your choice, but I never figured you for a coward.”
Evvie slept like the dead all night, and I lay next to her, wrapped around her, with a pistol under my pillow, a shotgun next to the bed, and a knife next to the pistol.
Watchin’ her chest rise and fall with breath, I thought about her out in the world, alone, about how she’d survived—the strength it must’ve taken. To be on the run, to pick up and leave her home every time she heard a strange noise. Although, from the sound of it, she hadn’t had a home. Just a place to sleep in each new city she’d been to, and sometimes she hadn’t even had that. She told me she’d spent plenty of nights in her car, cold ’cause she’d turned the engine off to save gas.
I thought about her mama. I coulda strangled the woman if she hadn’t already been dead. The pain she’d caused her daughter made me so fuckin’ angry. I had to get outta the bed ’cause I couldn’t lie still.
I paced the little hallway outside my bedroom till Finn interrupted me. “Brother, go on. Go back to bed. I ain’t sleepin’ anytime soon. We got the house covered. You can rest. We’ll take care of the horses in the mornin’.”
“I can’t sleep, Finn. I can’t stop thinkin’ about—” I stopped my pacin’ and rested my head against the wall. “I almost want him to come here so I can fuckin’ kill him.”
Finn stood next to me, fidgetin’ with the stupid ponytail holder he wore around his wrist. I felt the apprehensive energy comin’ off his body and knew he wanted to say somethin’.
“What, Finn? Just say whatever it is.”
“You love her, Jack?”
I looked at my brother. I wanted to deny it. I didn’t want him to know how vulnerable I felt. How raw and ripped open. I opened my mouth to tell him no, to lie to him the way I’d tried to lie to Ma, but I couldn’t say the word.
“Yes. I love her. I want her,” I said, slidin’ down the wall to the floor. I held my head in my hands and he sat next to me.
“Alright then. No deranged jumped-up psychopathic motherfucker is gonna hurt my sister ever again.”
I must’ve fallen asleep at some point ’cause in the mornin’, I jerked awake to the sound of the kitchen door clappin’ shut. I heard my brothers and Carey talkin’ though, so I knew it had only been one of them and not an intruder.
Evvie opened her eyes, blinkin’ the sleep away, her eyelashes flutterin’ on her cheeks like little wings.
“Hi,” I said, lookin’ in her eyes.
“Hi.” Her voice was thick with sleep and raspy.
I’d closed my bedroom door and drew the blinds and curtain so we were in relative darkness, but I could still see the green of her eyes, like emeralds. As she looked at me, she must’ve remembered everything that had happened the night before. She gasped, sittin’ straight up.
“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.”
“I-I don’t… know what to do.”
“’Bout what?”
“I’ve never told anyone before. It feels strange for someone else to know.” She lay back slowly and rolled to face me. “What time is it? Ma has an appointment today. Probably soon, if we haven’t missed it.”
“It’s”—I looked at my watch—“eight fifteen. Finn and Jay will take her today.”
“Oh, okay, good. Is she okay?”
“She’s fine. Evvie, what’s wrong?”
Tremblin’ next to me, she sucked in a breath, like she’d just remembered she needed air. “I can’t take it back. I crossed a line last night and I can’t go back.”
“Why would you wanna take it back? You mean tellin’ us?”
“Because now you’re in it. You’re all in the middle of this thing, and I can’t fix it. I can’t save you. I can’t—” She gasped in breaths, clutchin’ at her chest.
“Evvie, calm down. Look at me, please?” She looked in my eyes, and I smoothed her hair away from her face with the palms of my hands. “Take a deep breath.”
She did and blew it out.
“Now, kiss me.”
“Jack.”
“Kiss me. And then I wanna show you somethin’.”
A few minutes later, we stood on the lawn, squintin’ into the blue October sky, lookin’ up at the roof of the house. I whistled and Dean popped up over the back of the peak. He lifted his rifle in the air so Evvie could see. He wore his camo pants and vest. More pockets for ammo, binoculars, phone, and anything else he might need stuck up there all day.
“Oh.”
“And we already have motion sensor cameras ’round the barn and far paddocks to look out for wolves and bears, but we got more on the way. Finn will pick ’em up while Jay takes Ma for her chemo. Carey brought us disposable phones. Here’s yours.” I reached in my pocket, pullin’ out the cheap flip phone, and handed it to her.
“Mine? I’ve never had a phone.”
“You got one now. I already sent you a text.”
“I don’t know how to text,” she said, lookin’ at the phone, turnin’ it over in her hand.
“I’ll teach you.” I kissed her cheek. “Carey’s got someone comin’ out to set it all up. She’s some kinda hacker or somethin’. She’s good at all this stuff.”
“Billie?”
“Yeah.”
Carey walked out onto the porch then, sippin’ a cup of coffee. “Mornin’.”
“Good morning,” Evvie said.
“Come up here a minute. I wanna talk to you.”
When he, Evvie, and I were all seated in the old mish mosh of chairs on the porch, he brought her up to speed about his buddy in St. Louis. “And Billie’s on her way. She should be here in a couple hours.”
“Okay.” She twisted her hands in her lap.
“Jack told me about your map. I took a look. Can you tell me ’bout it? Why’d you X out so many places?”
“Oh. Well, New York and New Jersey because that’s where they met. I didn’t mean to put the X through Jersey, but it’s so close to New York. I thought I should stay away from that whole area. I thought he might be from there. Illinois because that’s where we lived. I wanted to stay away from anywhere I knew he’d been. Texas and Oklahoma because that’s where I saw him last. In Odessa.”
“Where in Odessa? You remember?”
“Yes. At the Texas Star motel. He started a fire there too.”
“You said that was about three months ago?” Carey looked from Evvie to me.
“Yes. Before that, I was in San Antonio, but only for two days. I thought I’d seen him there so I left. I was headed toward El Paso but decided to go east. He chased me on the freeway. It had been three days, almost, since I’d slept and I was so tired. I had to stop. I had to. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I thought it’d be safer to get a room than to sleep in my car because there’d be other people around.
“I got a room in the disgusting motel for thirty-five dollars. I barricaded the door, but he must’ve come through the tiny window in the bathroom. I woke up to him on top of me trying to tie my arms behind my back. The motel was on fire. I think he was trying to scare me, but the place was a dump and the fire got out of control. He seemed confused by it, and, in the chaos, I got away.”
“Jesus.” This guy was out of his fuckin’ mind.
“After that, I went to Dallas, but it just felt too close. I ended up in Oklahoma, and that’s when I decided to come west.”
“Had he ever caught you before? Before Odessa?”
“Yes. One other time. In Chicago. I got away that time too.”
Carey frowned, pursin’ his lips. “I guess, I don’t understand. I mean, obviously he’s fixated on you, but if he killed your mama, then he knows you’re not her. Why wouldn’t he— Sorry, but why wouldn’t he just kill you if that’s what he wants?”
“Does there have to be a reason? He’s out of his mind. Sometimes he seems lucid, sometimes he doesn’t. I’ve only been close to him a few times, but it’s clear he’s not well. But he’s capable and strong.”
She thought for a moment then shook her head. “And he doesn’t want to kill me. At least, that’s what he said. He wants to be with me. But he likes the game. He likes me to suffer so he can rescue me. He likes when I get desperate. When I run out of money or whatever. He leaves food for me, gifts, or even cash. If I take what he leaves, he sees it as an invitation. I only made that mistake once. I didn’t know the food was from him. It was drugged.”
He fuckin’ drugged her? I clenched my hands into fists. They ached to wrap around his neck.
“How’d you get away?” Carey asked.
“I just fought. He had a piano there, in the house he’d taken me to. In Peoria. A block away from my home. Well, where it used to be. He untied my hands so I could play for him. He played my mother’s music over and over on some old CD player. But someone heard it, I think—it was loud—and when they knocked on the door, he panicked. I screamed and bit and kicked and ran.”
“Okay.” Carey’s eyes darted up to mine, then back to Evvie’s. “Is there anything else you think we should know?”
“He had a gun. In Odessa. He had a gun.”
“Okay. That’s good to know.” Carey looked at me again, and I tried to distract Evvie from the worry on his face.
“C’mon. Let’s get some breakfast and then we got some more horses to brush. If you’re lucky, you can help me muck stalls,” I said, smilin’ and pullin’ her to stand.
“Sheriff?” She turned back to Carey but squeezed my hand.
“Yes?”
“He killed my friend, Toby. In Louisville. Toby Armstrong. He doesn’t like me to have a friend. And he really doesn’t like it if the friend is a man.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Everlea
The sheriff returned to the ranch soon after Jay and Finn had come back with Ma after her chemo treatment. She went upstairs to take a nap, and we heard his SUV pulling up to the house, so everybody went out to the porch. He climbed out of his truck and walked up the stairs, then, behind him, a woman carrying a heavy black backpack stepped out.
