Wildfire, p.15
Wildfire, page 15
I rub the back of my neck to ease the nervous prickling happening as I nod. We need to come up with a new way to identify her, because things have changed a lot since she was that Aurora.
Cheering erupts, jumping and hugging, a few high fives as they celebrate… I literally don’t know what they’re celebrating. “What’re you guys doing?”
Mattie is the first to stop jumping. “She’s the F1 girl, right? Can you get us paddock club passes?”
“There’s no way you two have been together for a month and haven’t fucked,” Bobby says expectantly.
“We haven’t.” They all stop celebrating. “They’ve got this no-fraternization rule, and to be honest I pretty much avoided her the first week. We’re fine now, though; we’re friends.”
I have an audience of confused faces staring back at me. They look among themselves, silently nominating a leader, who turns out to be Kris. “You know no one will be sticking to that rule, right? A bunch of twenty-year-olds stuck together for two and a half months with a rule not to do something? Screw that.”
“I wouldn’t last the week,” Mattie mumbles, taking another bite of pizza.
Henry scowls at him. “Because you have no respect for authority.”
“Let’s see about that, Captain.” Mattie grins.
Henry’s eyes roll, like they do every time his newly appointed title is referenced. “Russ is following the rules.”
“Fuck the rules,” Bobby counters. “We could all die tomorrow.”
“I need the job, guys. Sorry to disappoint. She’s fucking great, though, like as a friend. She’s… great.”
“Swallowed a whole dictionary,” Mattie laughs, dodging the napkin I throw at him.
I’d need a whole dictionary to describe just how great Aurora is. My mind wanders back to camp and what they’re doing. The kids will have eaten dinner by now; they’re probably drinking hot chocolate by a campfire. Aurora will be complaining her mug isn’t big enough to fit the excessive number of marshmallows she adds, and Xander will be daring her to try and beat her record for the amount she can fit in her mouth.
I wonder if anyone will walk her back to her cabin tonight and if they’ll wait to watch her go in.
Kris downs the rest of his beer, shrugging nonchalantly as he puts it back on the counter. “You won’t be the only guy crushing on another counselor, buddy, and they can’t fire you all.”
* * *
IT’S BITTERSWEET LEAVING HOME FOR the second time.
After the guys gave up trying to convince me to start living my life to the max, they moved on to telling us about Miami and all the wild shit they got up to. I stopped after the one beer, but by their fourth, Bobby and Kris were reenacting the moment Mattie was mistaken for a famous movie star and they all ended up in the VIP area with Tristan Harding, the guy from all those romance films Stassie and Lola love.
We reminisced about games from last season, our championship win, and predictions for the new season. When I called it a night, knowing I had to get up early, they were genuinely gutted I was leaving again, which made me not want to leave at all.
Mattie and Bobby crashed in Robbie’s and JJ’s rooms, with Kris losing five consecutive games of rock paper scissors and ending up on the couch Henry violated.
They were awake, albeit slightly hungover, before the sun was up to make breakfast and coffee so I could have something decent to eat before getting on the road. Having real friends has shown me I don’t need to quietly blend into the background anymore. Telling my dad exactly how I feel has freed me from whatever has been holding me back this entire time. Don’t get me wrong, nobody changes overnight, but I’m arriving at Honey Acres again feeling like a brand-new guy.
I don’t look like a brand-new guy, though. I hardly slept and it shows on my face. I feel it in my tired body when I move; I’m stiff from so much driving.
Signing back in at the reception at the front of the camp, I find Jenna in a meeting, which means I can wave to her through the main office door’s glass panel and don’t have to answer any of her questions. It’s just before lunchtime and I know that Emilia or Aurora will be covering me. As tired as I am, more than anything I want to take over so they can enjoy the day off I stole from them.
Brown Bears are scheduled for swimming, and the lake is right by my cabin, so it gives me a chance to put my staff T-shirt on and leave my backpack before taking over.
Walking down toward my room, I spot Aurora coming toward me, looking down at the ground.
“Hey,” I call when we’re six feet from each other.
Her head snaps up, eyes widening as she takes me in. I realize I’m holding my breath, waiting for her to say something back, to give me the smile I’ve become accustomed to seeing when I see her, but it doesn’t come.
“Are you okay?” she asks, hugging her arms around herself.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m sorry you had to cover for me. I’m heading to the lake now so you or Emilia can have your day off back.”
“It’s Emilia, I did yesterday. She won’t let you take over, so leave her. We switched dance and swim around because we thought it looked like it was going to rain, but obviously it’s still hot and dry as hell. You look like you need to sleep.”
“I really am sorry. I’ll cover you so you can have an extra day off or something. I’ll make it up to you.”
“You missed the talent show practice,” she says softly. How disappointed she sounds fucking hurts. Her forehead creases as she frowns. “I don’t care about covering for you, Russ. You disappeared. Jenna told us you had a personal thing and said it was no big deal. So I don’t get why you didn’t tell me you were leaving.” Her voice cracks. “You just left me. Us. All of us have been worried. Me and Jenna had an argument about it because she kept saying he’s fine and it was pissing me off.”
“Aurora, I’m sorry.” I take a cautious step toward her, then another, until I pull her into a hug. We fit together perfectly like this, with her arms wrapped around me, my head buried in her hair.
“Where were you? What happened?” she mumbles into my chest. “You can tell me.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say honestly. “I’m sorry I missed practice. I’m sorry I made you worried. I won’t do it again, I promise.”
Something I said causes her to untangle herself from me and take a step backward. “It’s fine.”
It isn’t fine and I’m gutted to be on the receiving end of that smile she forces to make people think she isn’t upset by something. I don’t want the wall to go back up between us. The words come tumbling out of my mouth before I really know why. “Tell me a secret.”
“Seriously?”
When I nod, she takes a deep breath and starts. “I’m sad you left without telling me. Not telling everyone, telling me. I think—thought—I might mean a little more to you than everyone else. That you might trust me the most because we have history, or whatever.”
“You do.”
“I thought about flirting with Clay last night just to feel wanted, how weird is that? I didn’t. I called my mom, I went to bed early and spent all day lurking around Emilia, trying to keep myself out of trouble.”
The idea that disappearing would drive Aurora toward Clay makes me feel like shit. “You’re not weird, Aurora. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. Again.”
“It’s not about me, you’re the one who clearly has stuff going on. I’m just trying not to be the person that acts out because of other people. That’s something I do a lot, and I don’t want to. It’s probably the only thing I do better than oversharing.” She presses her lips together as she stares up at me. I wish I could put everything out there like she does, but even after the past twenty-four hours, something is stopping me. She shrugs, arms wrapped around herself, protecting her. “I want to be there for you because I care about you. I feel like I could be a better friend to you if you communicated with me.”
“I made us miscommunicators again.”
She nods. “Kinda. It doesn’t have to mean baring your soul, Russ. We’re getting to know each other; you’re allowed to have boundaries and things you keep for yourself. Some people are good at sharing, some people aren’t. We just have to find a middle ground.”
“I’m really sorry I missed practice. I know how important the talent show is to you and I wouldn’t have missed it if I’d had a choice.”
Aurora unfolds her arms, her posture relaxing the longer we stand near each other. “It’s okay. There will be a dozen more. Emilia and Xander were very intense.”
I notice the backpack on her shoulder. “Were you going somewhere? Before you saw me?”
“I was going on a hike to this place I love, but I wasn’t sure about the weather, so I was going to find my raincoat. I’m not even sure there’s going to be rain. I think Xander might have made it up because he didn’t want to swim.”
“Can I come? I’m not going to be able to relax, so there’s no point me trying. I’m okay with getting caught in the rain.”
She smiles and the relief floods me. “If we get caught in the rain, we’ll just enjoy the rainbow.”
Chapter Seventeen AURORA
I WOKE UP THIS MORNING and told myself to forget Russ Callaghan. That he was just another man whose attention I’d become fixated on and he wasn’t the guy I was turning him into in my head. Emilia says I get attached too easily, or not at all, and that I don’t do the happy medium like most people.
I have to really question if someone is worth it when their actions make me call my mom just to hear her tell me how much she misses me.
I’d made my choice and I was sticking to it, which worked until he strolled back into camp and stopped in front of me. It’s hard to be mad at someone when they look like total shit. It’s hard to know that if he’d walked in smiling and looking his usual, beautiful self, I would’ve had the same reaction.
I was heading to grab some stuff for my hike when I overshared all my feelings with the man I constantly force my bullshit onto. I don’t know what it is—the softness of his face or the way his eyes make me melt when he’s giving me his full attention, or those freaking dimples—that makes me want to word-vomit my insecurities all over him.
He must be totally exhausted being stuck around me.
Not exhausted enough to make me carry my backpack, though.
Now freshly showered, Russ is matching each of my steps up the steepening trail path and making it look easy. “I can carry my own backpack,” I repeat for the millionth time through strained breath. I really need to start exercising more. “I feel like you’re one of those little donkeys in Greece.”
“I like helping,” he says, not even a hint of panting. “And I’m used to carrying shit around. Not used to being called a donkey, though; thanks for that one.”
“How are you not even breaking a sweat? You can carry me if you want, my legs hurt.”
I don’t even have time to say I’m kidding before my ass is in the air and my nose gets buried in my backpack. Russ’s hand grips the back of my thigh, keeping me in place over his shoulder as he continues, not even breaking his stride.
This was not what I was asking for.
“Aurora, every time you wriggle, you rub your ass against my face,” he says casually.
Give me strength. “I didn’t really mean carry me. I was being dramatic for sympathy!”
His fingers dig into my thigh, and a part of me that has been severely neglected starts to throb. How thick my thigh is versus how much of his hand can cover it is not something I should be obsessing over right now.
“This is my version of being sympathetic,” he teases. “We’re nearly at the top anyway. Definitely feel like a donkey now, though.”
“I take it back. You’re Shrek and I’m Princess Fiona.”
He laughs and I jiggle as his shoulders shake. “Well, green is my favorite color.”
“What type of green? Ogre green?”
“Whatever shade your eyes are.” He starts to lower me to the ground again, but my legs are jelly. “Holy shit, this is nice.”
I’m too busy reeling from what he said about my eyes to realize we’ve reached my favorite spot. I’m not sure what the official name for the type of water source this is, but the water is crystal clear and warm and we’re far enough from anyone else to ever be disturbed. The rocks lining the edge were my favorite when I came here as a kid, but now I appreciate how quiet it is. Russ helps me spread the picnic blanket out on the grass next to the water and I unpack our water bottles and energy bars.
“This is the first time we’ve been totally alone since we got here. Not one person to disturb us,” I say, kicking off my sneakers. He watches me, eyes dancing across my skin as I start to pull down my shorts.
He copies me, undressing slowly, watching me pull my T-shirt over my head as he does the same. I’m giddy with anticipation, my heart rate speeds up, and I can’t keep the smile from my face.
He throws his socks onto the growing pile of our clothes. “So, we’re doing this?”
I nod, counting down from three. The nervous energy rattles through me, and when I say go, my body takes on a mind of its own as I sprint away from Russ toward the rocks.
Sprinting in a bikini is possibly the worst idea I’ve ever had—and I’ve had so many terrible ideas. If I get a concussion from being hit in the face by my own breasts, I’ll never recover from the embarrassment.
The rocks are hot under my feet as I climb to the top. It’s not hard or high, but I’m very aware of the man behind me, the one I suspect slowed down to let me win and who definitely has my ass in his face for the second time today.
Our race was for the first person into the water, but now that I’m up here it feels higher than it did when I was younger. Russ doesn’t give me the chance to spiral as he reaches the top, scoops me up into his arms, and throws us both into the water.
The cool water is relief against the hot sun, but it does nothing to make Russ look less hot. He pushes back his wet hair, his biceps peeking above the water, and floats backward soaking up the sun. He looks brighter than he did earlier somehow; I’m glad I brought him here. This is the most peaceful place I know and I feel like he needs it.
Maybe I should have sent him alone with directions, because the silence is making me itch, but I’m doing my best to not fill it like I normally do.
“How did you discover this place?” Russ asks, eyes closed, still floating on his back and, my God, the relief to be able to talk again.
I float closer to him, like somehow if I’m too loud it’ll ruin things. “One year we had a counselor who wasn’t really into team sports, so he would organize walks all over the land that Orla and her family own. This was my favorite spot.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“It is.”
“Chance of sharks?”
“Slim.”
His eyes open and he smiles right at me, making my heart race. “What a relief.”
“You look better already,” I say cautiously. I want him to tell me why he had to suddenly leave, but I’m trying not to bulldoze into his life and make him uncomfortable after he told me he didn’t want to talk about it.
God, it’s exhausting trying to think about what you do before you do it.
“I feel better. Thank you for bringing me here.”
“If you… Do you, um…” Great start, Rory. “If you change your mind and do want to talk about anything to do with where you’ve been, that would be okay with me. We could try and find that middle ground.”
“I don’t want to burden you with my baggage.”
“I don’t mind. It isn’t a burden. You just carried my actual baggage and me up a hill. I can take whatever you throw at me, Callaghan.”
“It is. You have enough of your own, you don’t need other people’s.”
I hate me and my big mouth. I said that weeks ago when we first started working here, when someone asked me why I don’t have a boyfriend. I didn’t know how to say, “Little to no trust in men, especially when I’m a train wreck,” in a nice way to the people I’d just met, including Russ. So I said the first thing that came to mind, which unfortunately happened to be about not wanting other people’s baggage.
“I want your baggage.”
“Aurora,” he says more firmly this time. “I promise you, you don’t.”
He isn’t listening to me and I’m growing frustrated, but I know I’m just dealing with the result of my own words. I can feel myself becoming flustered as I struggle to verbalize my thoughts. “I do. I want it all. Pretend I’m the airport. Give me everything.”
I should be gagged, truly.
Russ’s eyebrows pinch together, showing he’s as confused as I am. “What are you talking about?”
“Airports? Baggage? I have no idea. I have no idea what I’m doing or saying most of the time, but I meant what I said earlier, Russ. I can take it.”
I’m in such unfamiliar territory and I hate it. He reaches out and tucks my wet hair behind my ear, his hand lingering a little longer than necessary, and my entire body hums happily. “We should probably get out before we start to prune.”
I scream internally.
He doesn’t say anything as he helps me climb out of the water and we walk back toward the blanket. I throw myself onto the soft fabric, feeling a little defeated, and lie back to dry off.
I block out the sun with my hand, watching Russ awkwardly shuffle around, trying to get comfortable. “Put your head on my stomach.”
“I’ll be okay, I just need to fi—”
“You’ll be comfortable, I promise.”
Reluctantly, he maneuvers himself, leaning back and gently settling on my stomach. “If it becomes uncomf—”
“Emilia uses me as a pillow all the time. You’re gentler than she is. I’m good, I swear.”
I’m not sure when I finally become comfortable with the silence between us. But without the noise of my babbling, I get to listen to the sound of his breathing. Fifteen minutes of quiet passes before he starts talking.
