Wildfire, p.25
Wildfire, page 25
“You have no reason to feel embarrassed! You’re the victim in all of this. You didn’t do anything other than hook up with a girl at a party, and there’s nothing wrong with that. You could have hooked up with every girl at that party, it still doesn’t make someone using you as a scapegoat okay.”
“That’s what Stassie and Lola say, but I haven’t been able to shake the guilt. When I’m on campus, I’m wondering if people are thinking about it when they see me. I hate having to play UCLA knowing that’s what they’ll all be thinking about.”
“I hate that this has been eating at you. When something happens it feels so huge to you, but that’s because it’s happening to you, but in reality, most people don’t know or care. If everyone was talking about it like you feel like they are, I’d already know everything. I just heard there was some damage. Nothing about you.”
“You really didn’t know?”
“No! I promise I didn’t. But someone took advantage of you, Russ. You gotta stop punishing yourself for it.” I stroke his face with my thumb and he kisses the palm of my hand. “If you overthink it, you won’t be able to move on. So what, a rink got trashed? It’s not like somebody died! Do you know how much stuff I’ve trashed by accident?”
“Some fence lines, I’d guess.”
“That wasn’t an accident.” I roll my eyes, leaning in closer. “But my point remains. You’re a great person, your friends love you, and the dogs love you. That’s all I think about when I think of you. How easy you are to l—like.”
“I don’t know why I’m bringing it up now. I’m sorry, have I fucked up our first date already?” His eyes shut and he sighs, sinking further into the pillows.
Sometimes I want to shake this man, because he doesn’t realize how happy his handing over those pieces of himself he keeps so tight to his chest makes me.
“You voluntarily sharing something that’s personal to you makes this the best date, Russ. I promise. Thank you for trusting me with the full story.”
His eyes open slowly. “Can I have that post-sharing kiss you promised now, please?”
I can’t help but smile as I lean in. “Of course.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight RUSS
I HADN’T INTENDED TO TELL Aurora about Leah when we got here, and on reflection, it’s probably not the most suitable topic of discussion for a first date, even if she says it is.
But Aurora makes everything feel lighter.
A few sentences about something that’s been plaguing me for almost a year and I feel better. All she did was listen and tell me that if everyone was talking about it she would have known, and the slightly more dramatic “It’s not like somebody died.”
I don’t know why I decided to tell her right now. Maybe because she called me too good to be real and I know I’m not. That’s one of the stories that proves I’m not, and by my telling her, she’s not being misled about who I am.
Sharing things you’ve kept so close to you is exhausting. “Can I have that post-sharing kiss you promised now, please?”
“Of course,” she says softly, leaning in.
My hand cups her cheek, thumb brushing gently across her skin as her lips meet mine. She tastes like hot chocolate, and when I pull her body closer to mine, she immediately complies. “I love this,” I whisper against her mouth.
“Making out?” I guide her leg over mine until she’s straddling my hips. Her hands pull the duvet around her shoulders, then link around my neck, cocooning us. My hands slip beneath her sweatshirt, tracing my fingers along her spine with one hand, maneuvering her flush to me with the other.
“Having you to myself.”
Aurora brushes her nose against me, lightly pressing kisses against various parts of my face: the corner of my mouth, my temple, the tip of my nose. “Considering how many times a day you remind the kids to share, it’s pretty funny you’re so bad at it.”
She rests her forehead against mine and my arms wrap around her waist, holding her tight. “I’ll happily share everything but you.”
I’m forced to let go when she sits back, letting my hands sit on her hips instead. She looks at me with an uncertainty I’m not used to seeing from her. “They’re pretty words, but do you really mean them?”
As needy as it sounds, I hate the small distance between our bodies right now, but I hate how unsure she looks in this moment more. Being so candid with someone would usually make me anxious. I just shared a big thing with her, voluntarily I should add, so it’s a lot for me to continue to put my thoughts and feelings out there. It isn’t a secret I’m not amazing with women, and under normal circumstances, I’m pretty sure I’d be sitting scared, waiting for them to be stomped all over.
I don’t feel like that with her; I want to be close to her.
“Your attention is a gift, Aurora. I have no intention of not valuing the time I get with you.”
“God, Callaghan. Why do you have to be so freaking sweet?” she mumbles, looking down at her hands fiddling with the hem of my sweatshirt.
“I’m only like this with you. You’re the only person who’s ever made me want to be like this, Aurora. You’ll never have to question if you’re wanted. You’ll never have to question if you’re my first choice.” My heart is hammering in my chest as the words pour out of me. The duvet is still draped over her shoulders, making it easier for me to pull each side, pulling her body down to mine again. “You are.”
Whatever else I was about to say doesn’t happen because her mouth crushes against mine, her hands settling on either side of my face as her hips roll against me, sending electricity shooting up my spine as I groan, flexing my hips into her. I’m burning beneath her touch, and as all the blood in my body rushes south, I’m so happy I told her how I feel while I could still focus on speaking.
“I don’t want to share you, either,” she says, her mouth traveling along my jawline. Her teeth nip at my earlobe, while her warm breath tickles my neck. I roll us over until she’s pinned beneath me with her legs crossed at the bottom of my back.
I grind myself into her, enjoying the way her eyes roll back and her breathing hitches. We’re both still fully dressed, but the flimsy cotton separating us does nothing but prove how perfectly I fit between her thighs. Her tongue moves against mine, back arching to push her breasts into me. “My perfect girl,” I mumble as I move to kiss down her neck.
Aurora’s hands reach down, pushing clumsily at the waistband of my sweatpants with one hand and doing the same action with her leggings. “I want to feel you,” she whispers.
It takes all my mental strength to lift myself off her enough to remove her leggings and a tiny piece of lace she claims are panties, but it’s so fucking worth it. I push my pants and boxers down over my hips, shuffling them off in a way that doesn’t make the truck shake. Pumping my hard dick in my hand, I let Aurora pull me back down to her, both of us now bare from the waist down. I kiss her, groaning into her mouth when her hand reaches between us and she grips me gently. My hips have a mind of their own as I start to thrust into her hand slowly. “I won’t put it in, okay?”
“Okay.”
She guides me closer to her and I hover at the right distance, waiting, holding my breath to see what she’s going to do next. That’s when she opens her legs a little wider and slides the tip of my dick against her clit gently. It feels fucking perfect. She’s gentle but deliberate, going further, changing pressures, and when she starts to lose her rhythm, I take over, replicating what she was doing.
It’s easier for me to grind against her, allowing me to kiss her, too. Her fingers dig into my shoulders as her tongue rolls against mine. “You feel so good,” she moans, arching her back. Her hips rock against me, the wet sound music to my fucking ears. “Condom?”
“Not yet.” That gets her attention, but I ignore her confused look in favor of pulling up her sweatshirt, exposing what is supposed to be a bra, but is also just a scrap of lace. “Did you wear this for me?”
I pull down the material carefully, closing my mouth over one of the already stiff peaks. She instantly gets louder and louder as I try to pay attention to every inch of her. My dick is throbbing; I’m desperate to be inside of her, but watching her come from this makes it worth the wait. “I asked you a question, Aurora.”
“I need you inside of me,” she mewls, tightening her legs around me.
I switch to her other breast. “Did you wear this for me?” She nods frantically, eyes pinched shut as her jaw slacks. “Why?”
Her nails sink into my skin and her breathing changes. “Because I want you to fuck me. I’m going to co—”
Aurora buries her head into my neck as she moans out a sound I’ll be able to hear for the rest of my life. Her body works perfectly with mine; it’s addictive. Reaching into the cooler beside our makeshift bed, I pull out a box of condoms I bought earlier.
I bought the condoms before I found anything else for this date. Which normally wouldn’t be a great sign, but there was no chance I was receiving the same disappointed look I’ve had multiple times now when I’ve been unprepared.
Ripping the foil with my teeth, I sit back on my heels, quickly rolling it over me.
“You have a really pretty dick, y’know,” she says, pushing herself onto her forearms. “It’s kind of visually perfect.”
I just rubbed against this women until she came, and I can feel myself blushing because she called my penis attractive. I really need to unbox that at some point.
“I don’t know how to respond to that. Thanks?”
“You’re welcome. Will you be gentle with me, please?” She rolls over onto her stomach, her legs only slightly separated. “And lie on top of me?”
“Of course.” I position myself behind her, my legs over hers, guiding myself between her parted thighs until I feel myself start to sink into her. There is no better feeling than this. None. “You are the best feeling in the world, sweetheart.”
It’s really fucking deep like this. I lie down, my front on her back, trying my best to give her the closeness she clearly needs while not crushing her. I kiss along her shoulders, up her neck; I can even reach her face from this position. I cover every part of her I can reach with kisses, all while rocking myself into her in a steady rhythm.
I intertwine her fingers with mine and pin them to the bed on either side of her head. “Harder,” she whispers, and it’s taking everything for me not to come, especially listening to her little moans. Her hands tighten around mine as I do as she asks.
The sound of my hips slapping against her ass is making me lose my mind, and when she starts pushing back against me, I know we’re both close.
“You’re so deep. I can feel you everywhere.”
“You take it so well, sweetheart. You’re such a good girl.”
Praise is key to getting this woman off, and as soon as good and girl come out of my mouth, it’s only a matter of time. I’m nearly there, I can feel like a tugging sensation and I’m desperately trying to get her there first. I let go of her right hand and slip mine along the front of her body until I find the spot between her legs that makes her throw her head back.
“Oh God.”
“That’s it, sweetheart. Show me how beautiful you look when you come for me.”
Her body starts to thrash, but she has limited options given my body is covering hers.
“Russ,” she moans as she squeezes me so fucking tight I’m coming right there with her. It lasts for so long that when I pull out of her slowly, I’m still going.
Collapsing next to her, I’m fucking beat. She snuggles closer, kissing me again slowly.
“Are you going to judge me for putting out on the first date?”
I snort, once again never knowing what’s going to come out of her mouth. “Technically you put out before the first date. Loophole.”
“Thank goodness, my virtue won’t be compromised in that case.”
Rolling onto my back, I do my best to get rid of the condom in the most practical way and lie back down, pulling her under my arm so we can stare up at the stars. The movie has long finished, but I kind of prefer only to listen to her soft breaths. “Thank goodness. What would you do without your virtue?”
Chapter Twenty-Nine AURORA
“SIT DOWN, PLEASE, AURORA.”
My face scrunches, confused, as I side eye Emilia, who hasn’t been given strict instructions to sit down by Xander. I take a seat on the picnic bench in front of him, resting against my hands as he paces in front of me dramatically. “Done.”
“Thank you, Aurora.”
“You’re welcome, Alexander. Your wish is my command, clearly.”
He stops pacing. “Is this a joke to you?”
“This? What’s happening right now?” He nods. “Yes, it’s very much a joke to me. I have no idea what’s going on. Can you move a couple of inches to the right, then a couple of inches forward, please? The sun is in my eyes.”
The three of us were supposed to be filling water bottles for the kids ahead of rock climbing, and somehow I’ve ended up with Xander wearing his most serious expression. I thought it was weird when he insisted on helping, and I should have known he was up to something.
He kisses his teeth, his hands settling on his hips as he stares me down. “This is serious.”
“I’m sure whatever is happening right now is very serious to you, Xan. Still don’t know what’s happening, though.”
I look across to Emilia, who shrugs, watching our friend with interest. “The way you act sometimes makes me glad I don’t date men,” Emilia says.
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that to me. I have two words—”
“Attention and seeker?” Emilia says at the same time I say, “Over and dramatic?”
“Basketball tournament.” He glares at me. “Overdramatic is one word. Get your head in the game, Roberts. You’re an English major.”
I’m really struggling not to laugh. He’s caught my interest now and I’m excited to see where this whole thing is going. “Is the game spelling or basketball? Because I’m confused.”
“Basketball tournament,” he repeats, a little louder this time. “We can’t lose.”
I once again look at Emilia, mainly searching for confirmation that we’re both experiencing the same thing and I’m not having a weird hallucination. Her perfectly sculpted eyebrows are nearly touching she’s frowning so hard.
I decide to be the nominated speaker for the both of us. Clearing my throat, I look back at Xander. “Uh, okay?”
“I don’t know what sordid and creative sexual wizardry Callaghan has promised you to throw the game, but I need you to forget about it. My reputation is on the line here and I need you to be a team player.”
“Rory is very popular with the Titans basketball team, Xan. You don’t have anything to worry about,” Emilia says, stepping just out of my reach when I try to punch her in the arm. “She loves being a team player.”
“Shut up,” I snap at her. “Xander, I can’t lie. I have zero idea what you’re talking about. I’m not throwing anything, there’s no promises of witchcraft and/or wizardry that I’m aware of, and, sweetie, I really don’t think it’s that serious. The tournament is supposed to be a bit of fun.”
Somehow—and I truly believe that Xander is probably the one who started it—we’ve ended up involved in a staff basketball tournament this evening. Teams were picked at random using colored pieces of paper in a hat and, much to his absolute delight, Russ is on a team with Clay, while Emilia and I are with Xander and some of the lifeguards. Poor Maya has never played basketball in her life, but says she doesn’t care because all the people on her team are tall, and in her book that automatically makes them good.
“Russ told me you’d agreed to help them cheat.”
That little sneak. “Russ is just getting under your skin, buddy. That’s what you guys do when you play, right? Shit talk each other. I haven’t even talked to him properly since this morning.”
My favorite thing is when Russ stops by my cabin on the way back from his morning run before people are up. I sit on his knee or beside him, depending on how sweaty and gross he is, and we watch the sun rise. I’m always half asleep, but I’d definitely remember making a diabolical plan to betray Xander.
“You know you could have just said don’t cheat, right?” Emilia says, looking at her watch. “Could have saved us so much time.”
“If there’s sexual wizardry on offer, I might cheat, Xander. I’m just being honest with you; it is very likely that I’ll be influenced. I don’t even know what it entails, but I know that I want to be a part of it. I’m sure you can respect the difficult position I’m in.”
“I can’t and won’t. I’m not losing to Clay because you’re horny, Aurora,” Xander says sternly.
“If we lose to Clay, it’s because I have to play basketball when I have no hand-eye coordination.” I’m super lazy when it’s on the Brown Bears’ schedule because I just let Xander or Clay take charge. “You need to relax. It’s not going to count against you next season, y’know.”
Xander and Clay both worked here last year, but in different groups, so they weren’t strangers when they were put together this year. But last month, on one of the rare occasions I checked my phone, I saw Ryan had texted to tell me he signed with the LA Rockets.
The guys overheard me tell Emilia and it started a conversation about the NBA. Which then started a further conversation about how Xander and Clay know Ryan because they’ve played against him and, just to add another level, the pair plays against each other.
I’ve heard them make subtle digs at each other sometimes, but I’ve brushed it off as guy nonsense. What I didn’t realize is that Stanford and Berkeley are bitter athletic rivals, and apparently that expands to informal-just-for-fun summer camp basketball.
Ridiculous.
“I’ve seen you play paint dodgeball. I know there’s nothing wrong with your hand-eye coordination, you Judas.”
“Serious question,” Emilia says, picking up the water bottles we put down when Xander insisted we stop for an important discussion. “Why are you the way you are?”
