Mad world, p.37
Mad World, page 37
The man slipped through her door and quietly shut it before tucking his shirt into his pants.
“No way,” I whispered in horror as Uncle Adam turned and walked right in front of the camera.
“Motherfucker,” I breathed, my insides shriveling and dying as the video jumped to a new timestamp a week later.
Same motherfucking pervert left my sister’s bedroom.
It happened again the next week. And the next.
My stomach roiled with nausea. What other fucking reason could there be for a grown man to be in a thirteen-year-old’s bedroom at two in the goddamn morning? It went on until just before Christmas and then the videos stopped and the file ended.
The phone slipped from my fingers and clattered onto the bricks. It probably would have shattered if not for the protective case that was clearly worth its money.
“Maddie?”
I heard several chairs scrape back as people stood up, but it was Ryan who reached me first. I felt his eyes staring intently at me, but I was too lost in my own thoughts to really pay any attention.
“Madison?” Bex whispered from my other side, touching my wrist gently as she sat beside me.
I jolted and turned to her, grabbing her arm so hard she gasped.
“What did you say?” I asked desperately.
“About what?” she asked, her gray eyes wide.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to think and trying to unsee those tapes. “When she... The scar.”
“Shit,” Ryan muttered, rubbing my back. He had heard my conversation with Bex, so he knew what Madelaine had tried to do.
I ignored him as I fixated on Bex. “You said everything changed after she turned thirteen.”
She nodded quickly. “Yeah. She was more withdrawn and erratic. She never let me come over. And then, after Christmas...”
“She tried to kill herself,” I whispered.
“Whoa, whoa,” Linc said, coming around to stand in front of me. “She did what?”
“I know why,” I told Bex, my eyes filling with tears and spilling over before I realized I was crying. “Why she wanted to file for emancipation, why she slit her wrist.”
Bex’s face screwed up in confusion. “Maddie—”
I reached down and picked up the phone, opening it and cueing up the video to hand to her.
“Maddie, what’s going on?” Ryan asked, reaching for my other hand as Bex started the video.
Court leaned over her shoulder with Ash. “Is that a security camera?”
I knew the second Bex realized what I had when she jumped to her feet and tossed the phone back at me. “I’m going to be sick,” she said and stalked away taking deep breaths as Linc followed her.
I handed the phone to Ryan as the video kept playing.
“It’s Adam,” I said quietly, brokenly, as he watched.
His jaw dropped open.
“Your dad’s business partner?” Ash pressed, grabbing the phone from Ryan so he and Court could watch.
“Look at the date,” I added, rubbing my head as my temples started to pound. “It started the night we turned thirteen and kept going until Christmas. Bex said that’s when she tried to kill herself.”
Ryan reached over and lifted me up to settle in his lap. All I could do was bury my face against the side of his neck as tears fell.
It was no wonder Madelaine was so messed up. She’d been abused for years by that monster. Say what you wanted about my mom, but I never had to deal with that. The one boyfriend she’d had who dared look at me a little too long she beat over the head with a frying pan.
Literally slammed the skillet over his head with a crack that still haunted my dreams.
Did Gary know one of his closest friends, the guy he had entrusted his daughter to, was abusing her?
My heart felt sick over it.
Ryan’s hand smoothed up and down my back as he cradled me to him like I was the most precious thing in the world. Like I was worthy of protecting and he was planning to shoulder that burden.
My tears gave way to a couple of soft hiccups as I got myself under control. When I peeked out from Ryan’s neck, I noticed Linc and Bex had rejoined us. At some point, Bex had sat beside Ryan and taken my hand.
“He has to pay,” I said, my voice trembling with emotion, mostly rage. I wanted Adam Kindell dead or worse.
“He will,” Ryan vowed.
Court, Linc, and Ash all nodded in agreement.
I swallowed the last of my tears and looked at Ash. “I can’t... Can you see what else you can get off her phone?”
“Of course,” he promised, pocketing the phone.
Ryan’s nose brushed against my cheek. “Want me to take you home?”
I turned and met his gaze. My heart twisted a little more at the concern and worry in his eyes.
“I’d rather stay, if that’s okay?” I whispered, afraid he might reject me. Everything was shifting under my feet like quicksand.
He nodded slowly. “Of course you can stay.”
“Okay,” I mumbled, glad that it was settled. My heart was more than a little bruised and I hated the idea of being alone. Sure, Bex would’ve stayed the night if I’d wanted, but right now? My heart wanted Ryan. He made me feel less alone. He silenced the chaos in my head.
“Are you hungry?” Bex asked gently.
“Starving,” Brylee declared loudly as she and Dean came around the back of the house.
I turned my head so they wouldn’t see the remnants of my crying, but I knew Dean spotted it by the way he smiled. No doubt guessing Ryan and I were fighting or some shit. His arm tightened around me reflexively.
“Trouble in paradise, Lainey?” Brylee cooed.
“Not today, Satan,” Linc muttered, jerking a finger at the back door. “Be gone.”
“I’m Dean’s guest,” she hissed. “Or does only Lainey get to spend the night with her boyfriend?”
“You know the rules, Dean,” Court gritted out. “No skanks upstairs.”
“Excuse me?” Brylee shrieked indignantly.
Dean glared at Court. “She’s my girl.”
“I stand by my statement.” Court shrugged indifferently.
Brylee’s gaze landed on me, and I could see her gearing up for an argument.
“Not to-fucking-night.” Ryan’s cold voice cut through the tension between us. “Take her and go, Dean.”
“You’re not the boss, Cain,” Dean spat.
Ryan stared up at him with flat eyes, somehow still seeming more in charge of the moment, sitting with me curled on his lap, than the frat president did standing. “I’m not saying it again. Fucking walk.”
Scoffing, Dean moved around us and up the steps. Brylee followed, the pointed toe of her shoe connecting with Bex’s knee.
“Oops,” she giggled, glancing down. “I totally didn’t even see you there, Becky.”
She gasped as Court upended his beer over her head.
“Oops,” he said mockingly, shaking out the last droplets onto her stunned face. “I totally didn’t even see you there, bitchy.”
Brylee blanched and looked at Dean, who—like the true knight in shining armor he wasn’t—looked away.
Linc started laughing as he pulled Bex to her feet and wrapped an arm around her in a show of affection that made Brylee pale even more.
So much for her crush on Linc.
Bex blushed but didn’t flinch away from Brylee’s accusatory stare.
Good for her.
I watched Dean and Brylee go into the house and slam the door.
With a squeak, Bex pushed away from Linc. “What the hell was that?”
“I wanted to cuddle,” Linc said innocently. “Ryan would’ve punched me in the nuts if I tried to cuddle with Mads.”
Bex looked at me, her cheeks still flaming.
“To be fair, he’s right,” Ryan replied. His arms tightened around me once more. “I don’t share.”
My gaze instinctively flicked from Linc to Court and then to Bex. Both of them were watching her with interest.
“Whatever,” Bex sighed. “Next time, cuddle with Ash if you need a buddy.”
“Hard pass,” Ash said firmly, walking away from us. “I vote we move the food into the theater room and watch a movie.”
“Movie sound good to you?” Ryan asked me quietly.
I nodded. “Something funny, please.”
He kissed the tip of my nose. “Got it.”
Thank God someone did, because I sure as hell didn’t.
Chapter 48
One movie turned into three somehow, and we finally stopped when Linc’s snoring kept waking everyone up between naps. Court offered to take Bex home, and she blushed as she agreed. She hugged me with a quick promise that we would get together tomorrow when the guys were on the bus headed for their away game.
Ryan let me use the bathroom first, giving me another one of his shirts to sleep in. I changed and brushed my teeth quickly, staring at myself in the mirror and wondering how different my life would be if Madelaine were standing here instead of me.
I must’ve taken too long because Ryan knocked on the door and cracked it open. When he saw I was just standing in front of the mirror, he pushed the door open and leaned against the frame to watch me.
“What’s on your mind, pretty girl?” he asked softly, his azure gaze curious as he studied me.
I smiled at the compliment. “I was wondering how different things would be if my sister was standing here right now.”
His mouth flattened. “She wouldn’t be.”
“She would be your fiancée,” I pointed out, holding up my hand where his diamond still perched atop it.
“She would be,” he agreed, “but I never would have had her spend the night.”
I looked at him in surprise. “But you said we needed to for the optics.”
He smirked and looked away. “Maddie, do you really think I give a shit about what people think of me?”
“No,” I finally answered with a laugh. “So, why insist I stay the night that first time?”
“Because you’re hot,” he replied bluntly, “and why the hell wouldn’t I want you in my bed?”
I rolled my eyes and laughed as he came into the room and stood behind me. His hands found their place on my hips, and I leaned back against him with a heavy sigh.
“I never would’ve trusted Madelaine enough to let her into my life this much,” he confessed quietly.
I watched him in the mirror. “I know you hated her.”
He snorted in agreement. “Understatement of the year, Mads.”
“I need you to mean what you said, though,” I went on, my tone dropping seriously. “Adam has to pay for what he’s done. Not to me, but to my sister.”
“I know,” he replied.
I sucked in a breath between my teeth. “I mean really pay, Ry. Not that shit like you did with that prick from Indonesia or Dean. I don’t care if he goes bankrupt. I care if he’s in prison or...”
“Or?” he tempted darkly.
“Dead,” I answered. “I want him dead.”
“So, do I.” A muscle popped in his jaw. “Your sister wasn’t one of my favorite people, Mads, you know that. But she was barely older than Cori when Adam started whatever the fuck happened in her room.”
Frustrated, I turned and leaned against the counter so we weren’t touching. “Ash told me I should talk to you.”
His eyes narrowed. “About?”
“About how I’m having a hard time matching up the guy who wants to kill a pedophile for me but didn’t lift a finger to help those kids in another country,” I said plainly, folding my arms protectively around my torso. “Or why Dean is still here. Bex should never have to see him again.”
He watched me for a long time before nodding. “You’re right.”
My hands fell to my sides with a slap. “Then why haven’t you done anything?”
“It’s complicated,” he said softly. “There’s a lot you don’t understand.”
“Then make me understand,” I begged. “Because... Shit.” I looked away with a heavy sigh and ran a hand through my hair.
“Because what, Madison?” He caught my chin between his thumb and index finger and turned me to look at him.
I took a deep breath and jumped off the cliff my heart was teetering on.
“Because I need to know that the guy I’m falling for isn’t one of the bad guys,” I told him, laying it all out there.
His gaze softened. “I’m not one of the bad guys, baby.”
“I really want to believe you,” I whispered, tears gathering in my eyes again.
He pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. “I can’t explain everything to you right now.”
I stiffened and tried to pull away.
“But I will,” he finished, not letting me retreat. “Give me until the engagement party.”
Two weeks.
Could I give him two weeks?
“I need to sort some things out, but I’ll tell you everything,” he said, his eyes searching mine intently. “I promise.”
“You promise?” I echoed.
He nodded and thumbed away one of the tears that fell. “I hate when you cry.”
I sniffled. “Then maybe you should stop making me.”
“I intend to. But I need you to trust me for right now. Can you do that, Maddie? Can you just... trust me?” He seemed to hold his breath, waiting for my answer.
This was it. This was the moment.
I knew I was falling in love with Ryan Cain, but could I really trust him?
A piece of my armor fractured and broke away, falling as helplessly into the unknown as I was. “I trust you,” I said quietly.
He pulled me into a hug, crushing my body against his. “Thank you.”
I lost track of how long I stayed in his arms, my ear pressed to his chest as he held me.
But eventually I pulled away. “I'll let you finish getting ready for bed.”
“Want me to sleep on the floor?” he called to my retreating back.
I shot him a look over my shoulder. “Hell no,” I laughed before pulling the door shut to the sound of his chuckling.
I pulled back the covers on the bed and hesitated before getting in.
When I had come into the house tonight, I’d had a pretty good idea of where tonight would end up. I snorted to myself when I realized it sure as hell wasn’t finding out my sister had been molested and Ryan spending most of the night like a helicopter parent waiting for me to crack.
I sank onto the soft sheets as the sink stopped running in the bathroom. A moment later, Ryan emerged in only his boxer-briefs. He paused when he realized my head was somewhere else.
“What’s going on?” he asked cautiously.
Those fucking tears returned once more with a biting pinch. “It’s not right.”
“What isn’t?” His patience seemed endless as he waited for me to explain.
I met his gaze. “Your first time should be special. Hers was with... him. She was a kid, and he took it from her.”
Anger darkened his face. “Madison.”
I shook my head. “My sister didn’t get that.” My gaze snapped to him. “But I want that.”
He froze, clearly unsure with what to do with my announcement.
“I want you,” I clarified as my heart thundered in my chest.
His jaw clenched. “Maddie, I’m trying to be the good guy here. Tonight’s been a mess for you, and I don’t want you waking up tomorrow with regrets.”
“I won’t,” I replied, knowing in my heart it was the truth. “I came here wanting to be with you. What happened to Madelaine? It just proves how out of control life can be. I don’t want to wait anymore.”
His hands clenched at his sides. “There isn’t a clock on us, baby. We don’t have to do anything tonight. I know you still have doubts—”
“I trust you,” I cut in. “Yes, I still have questions, but I trust you, Ryan. Completely. Totally. I’m... God, I’m in fucking love with you, okay? I lied earlier. I’m not falling for you—I fell. Like off a freaking skyscraper.”
His eyes widened and he rocked back.
My heart was hammering so loud now that he had to hear it. “Tell me I’m not alone here, Ryan. Tell me I’m not the only one who feels this between us?”
He licked his lips slowly. “You’re not. I feel it, too. I...” He exhaled hard, his throat working as he tried to find a way to say what he felt.
Even if he couldn’t say the words, I knew.
I felt them in his touch, I lived them in his kiss.
Ryan Cain loved me as much as I loved him.
“You need to know exactly what you’re getting into with me, Maddie,” he rasped, his eyes dangerously wild as he raked a hand through his hair. “I’m an asshole most of the time. I’ll do stuff you hate because I think I know what’s best.”
A laugh bubbled out of me. “I’m well aware.”
He held up a hand to stop me. “If you think I’m a possessive ass now, you haven’t seen shit. If you’re really mine, I’m not letting you go. Ever, baby. That ring won’t just be a sparkly accessory on your finger. It will mean you’re mine. Completely. Totally.”
He threw my words back at me like a challenge, daring me to accept him. Tempting me to submit to his light and his demons.
“I want it all,” I told him honestly.
“Okay,” he agreed quietly.
He moved so fast, I didn’t see him coming. One second he was next to the bed, and the next he had yanked me to the edge by my feet and was looming over me.
His hand snaked under the hem of the shirt, stroking me over my panties.
“Last chance to call me off before I’m buried inside my pussy,” he warned, a finger finding my clit through the fabric with unerring accuracy. “You say the word and I’ll stop.”
I lifted my hips, my body already trying to find a rhythm to chase him with as I gasped.
“One word, Maddie,” he teased darkly, slipping his finger under the elastic and groaning when he found me already soaked for him.
“All you have to say is no.” He was practically choking on his own words now.
My head was spinning as he circled my clit and then dragged his finger to my opening.
“I say yes,” I hissed defiantly, staring straight into his eyes.
