Faye smirked. “Told you she was good.”

  Setsuna sighed. “How should we go about this?”

  Faye handed her a few pieces of paper. “Start reading.”

  They spent the rest of the hour reading through the files Declan had copied before they packed up. It was decided that Setsuna would take home the folder as she was the least likely to get caught. When she asked why Faye couldn’t take it home, the only response was that she just couldn’t. This only added one more thing to the mystery that surrounded Dominique Faye. In the end, it worked out in her favor. She found herself pouring over the papers in the case file well into the morning hours before she realized she still had school the next day and forced herself to go to bed. Somehow, Setsuna realized, she was being drawn into Declan and Faye’s world, but for some reason, she didn’t mind so much because for the first time in her life she was having fun and she didn’t want to give it up.

  Chapter Four

  When Setsuna woke the next day, it was to a sunny day and the feeling of giddy lightness. Even when her aunt informed her that she would have to go to an omiai on Saturday, her mood did not dampen. For the first time since coming to the United States, Setsuna walked into her homeroom with a bounce in her step. The day flew by relatively fast. Not even Damian’s bullying put a damper on her mood nor did Sam’s insistent gossip. Setsuna was on cloud nine all the way until she walked into classroom 112B at the end of the day to find both Declan and Faye waiting for her with expectant looks on their faces. She even returned their smiles. It wasn’t until they were pouring over the pages of the case file that Faye smiled at her again and whispered, “You’re cute when you smile. You should do it more often.”

  Setsuna then blushed but realized afterward that had been her first genuine smile since coming to the States. Somehow, she was not only having fun, but was also smiling now too?

  How has joining such a strange club with two mysterious members changed her life in a matter of days? Is this what high school was supposed to be about? Having fun? Setsuna had always been under the impression that high school was just a time to work harder and focus on getting better test scores so that she could get into a good college. At least that was how her parents always presented it. Now here she was, possibly breaking the law, and having the time of her life while doing do.

  “What about Saturday, Setsuna?” Declan’s deep timber brought her back to the conversation.

  “Nan desu ka?”

  “What?” Declan’s confused face helped her realize her mistake, but Faye spoke before she could correct it.

  “Declan was just asking if you were free tomorrow? We want to check out some of these places for ourselves.”

  Setsuna frowned as she remembered what her aunt had said to her before she left for school. At the time she hadn’t thought much about it because she had been in such a good mood and determined not to lose it. Now, she regretted not putting up any resistance. “I can’t.”

  “Why not?” Declan asked.

  “I have business.”

  “What kind of business?” he asked again.

  “Um, I have a date,” she mumbled.

  “What?” both Declan and Faye yelled out.

  Setsuna nodded. “It was arranged by my aunt. I can’t miss it.”

  Faye frowned. “An omiai?”

  “Yes.”

  “Can’t you skip it?” Declan asked.

  “It would be very rude.” She shook her head.

  “So--”

  “Drop it Declan. You don’t understand it. It’s a cultural thing,” Faye snapped at him before turning back to the papers on the desk.

  “Fine, what about Sunday?”

  Setsuna nodded. “I can come Sunday.”

  “Okay, that settles it. We will meet here at the school on Sunday.”

  “Here?” Setsuna asked.

  “Yeah, is that a problem?” Declan asked.

  “The school is far from my house and I don’t have any transportation.”

  “I’ll pick you up,” Faye answered without looking up from the papers.

  “Okay, it’s a go then,” Declan stated with a clap of his hands.

  They spent the last minutes talking about what they wanted to investigate at the scene they were going to and around four o’clock Setsuna was on her way out of the school.

  “Setsuna!” Faye had grabbed her hand before she left the building.

  “Yes?” She turned back.

  “Are you really going to an omiai?”

  “Yes, I must,” she answered with a slight bow of her head.

  “Why?” Faye growled out in what Setsuna thought sounded like frustration. But why would she be frustrated?

  “Because my aunt--”

  “Do you want to go to it?”

  Setsuna paused. Her blue clashing with pale red, and it occurred to her that she had never really thought about it. “I…I don’t think so,” she responded hesitantly.

  “Then tell your aunt to decline the invitation.”

  “But that would be rude.” Setsuna frowned.

  “Who cares about being rude? This is about you and what you want! God, you’re so frustrating!”

  Setsuna frowned. “I’m sorry?”

  Faye’s pale red orbs bore into her, holding her gaze like a snake holds the gaze of its prey. She seemed to be thinking something over before she opened her mouth to speak. “Do you know what my greatest fear is?”

  She shook her head in confusion. “No.”

  “My greatest fear is to look in the mirror and to not know who is looking back at me. I’ve been there. It was painful. I don’t ever want to go back to that place.” Faye grimaced.

  “What happened?” Setsuna asked quietly.

  Faye looked down at her wrist and traced the crisscrossing silver scars before looking up and meeting Setsuna’s gaze again. “I tried to kill myself.”

  Setsuna gasped. “What? Why?”

  Faye frowned. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Setsuna. I’m the bastard daughter of a very influential man, and as such, my existence has always been a threat to him. From the day I could understand words people have been telling me it would have been better if I never existed.”

  “I...I don’t…” Setsuna trailed off as she couldn’t find the words to respond with.

  “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. I’ve accepted the hand I was dealt. Actually, I should say that I’m grateful for it.”

  Setsuna frowned. “Grateful?”

  Faye nodded. “My father is a coward. Cowards run from who they truly are. They can’t face the people they’ve become or the sins of their past. My one true goal in life is to know who I am. It’s to be able to understand myself, my purpose, and to accept all of it. True courage is to be afraid but to still charge into battle, especially when the odds are against you. The odds have always been against me. I know what it means to struggle. Every day is a battle, but I can only struggle because I live my life consciously. If I just went through the motions every day, there would be no resistance.”

  Setsuna shook her head. “I don’t understand?”

  “Without struggle, there is no growth, Setsuna. And without growth can we honestly say that we are alive?”

  “I guess not?”

  Faye chuckled. “I take pride in my hardships because it is a sign that I’m alive. It’s proof that at that point in my life when I believed that all was lost I looked at myself and what I was about to do and I chose to live despite all of it. I chose to move forward at the very last minute even though I had the chance to end all of my pain. My greatest accomplishment in my eighteen years of living isn’t an academic scholarship or having my first sexual encounter. It’s the fact that I chose to wake up the next day and to continue to wake up for every day afterward. Not just that, though. I wake up and live every day with purpose.

  “There was a moment when I was about to end it all, when I was covered in my own blood from the wounds I had inflicted with my own fangs, I looked into the mirror only to see what I had become. I didn’t recognize the girl looking back at me. She was haggard, sickly, and ugly. I remember thinking, how had it come to this? And it scared the shit out of me. When had I begun to hate myself so much? When had I begun to listen and agree with the things people told me about how it would be better if I never existed? When had I given away my worth to the vultures that surrounded me?

  “At that moment, I stood up out of the bathtub, and I stepped out. I remember it well because it was when I decided to fight. I saw my demise, my end, and I faced it for the first time. I looked that girl in the mirror and said, I accept you.”

  “You accepted yourself,” Setsuna whispered.

  Faye nodded. “I accepted that I had been running and cowering from myself for so long that I became someone that I hated. I asked myself a hard question, why do I live? Not who do I want to be or what am I supposed to do? I had been asking those two question, and they only led me down the wrong path. The paths that the people around me dictated. No, I asked why do I live? Then I ask myself, what is my value? To myself? To others? What was I worth to the world? Our world is a shitty place. Sure, it has some good to it but honestly, most of the time it sucks, and my world at that time consisted of my father’s servants who kissed the soles of his boots. I had to face that world and consciously decide to exist in it because going through the motions wasn’t enough. By deciding to face that ugly world every day, I stole a bit of my power back.”

  “Your power?”

  “Yeah, kid. My power. The power that the people around us are so quick to try and take away. I decided that I was going to exist in this world and I was going to add value to it. At that moment, the blinders came off, and I was suddenly outside of the flow of monotony. I could see the wicked smiles of the servants as they told me lies and the two faced nursemaids as they told me I was ugly. I was outside of the flow, and I was suddenly filled with the need to disrupt it. I saw the girl that I had been, who I currently was, but most importantly I saw who I had the potential of becoming. Every day, I look in the mirror and face myself, and I accept myself because to deny it would be certain death. Can you see why I’m frustrated with you?”

  Setsuna could only shake her head as words once again failed her. Faye smiled sadly and reached out to gently cup her face. “You don’t have to be big and strong like Declan. You don’t even have to overflow with confidence like me. All you have to do Setsuna, is to be unapologetically you.”

  Tears trailed down Setsuna’s face as her heart suddenly began to ache. No one had ever told her something so beautiful. Her mother was always telling her to study hard so that she could become a doctor. Her father was always buying her law books to silently encourage her to become a lawyer, while her aunt was always trying to set her up with a wealthy boy. Not one significant person in her family had ever stopped to ask her who she wanted to be or what she wanted to do. Not only that, no one had ever encouraged her to just be herself, and to not feel the need to apologize constantly for doing it.

  “To be unapologetically me,” she whispered, trying the words out and she couldn’t help the giddy feeling that filled her.

  “I promise that I will like whoever you decide to be. You’re important to me Setsuna, and I keep people that I value close to me.”

  Setsuna met Faye’s gaze. “You value me?”

  Faye nodded. “Yes. More than you can imagine.”

  Setsuna frowned. “Why?”

  Faye smirked. “You’ll just have to figure that out for yourself. Use that pretty little head of yours, and I’m sure the answer will jump out at you.” She then frowned and whispered, “I just wish you would remember.”

  Setsuna nodded, but a frown still puckered her brow. Faye caressed the girl's face before dropping her hand and turning around. “Come on, kid. We still have tons of stuff to do. This case won’t solve itself.”

  Setsuna looked up, but a smile spread across her face as she gripped the end of Faye’s shirt. Faye looked back at her. “Yeah?”

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  Shock lit up the older girl's face before settling into a soft smile. “I’ll be looking forward to the day you realize how amazing you really are. I’m sure it will be a beautiful moment.”

  Setsuna blushed and released her grip. Faye chuckled and reached out grasping the girl's hand only to intertwine their fingers. Setsuna looked up into the confident red eyes of her friend. They came from different worlds. She was a bleeder while Faye was a feeder. In more ways than one they were enemies, predator, and prey, but for some reason, this girl's hand was more warm and comforting than even her own mother's had been. Setsuna smiled, and Faye returned it before pulling her forward, and outside into the sunlight. At that moment, that instant, when the light illuminated the girl in front of her, Setsuna could only think that the warm hand holding her own belonged to a beautiful girl that had a mysterious and infuriating smirk, but knew how to make her feel like a person and not a puppet of her parents lost dreams.

  To be unapologetically me, Setsuna thought. That sounds like something worth fighting for.

  Chapter Five

  Saturday morning, Setsuna found herself in a stare off with her aunt. The woman cleared her throat. “Let me get this straight. You said you’re not going to the omiai.”

  Setsuna nodded. “Correct.”

  Her aunt nodded. “And your reason?”

  “I don’t want to date someone that I have no feelings for.”

  “But Setsuna, you can’t develop feelings for someone unless you date them first.”

  The girl shook her head, meeting the brown eyes of her guardian resolutely. “I want to focus on my studies. Dating would only be a distraction. I want to go to a good college.”

  Her aunt sighed flopping down onto the couch before meeting the girl's gaze. She smiled. “Okay.”

  Setsuna frowned. “Okay?”

  Her aunt giggled. “I’m not going to force you to do something like this if you’re dead set against it, but I’ll warn you that if you decide to stay here while going to college, I retain the right to try once again and marry you off.”

  Setsuna thought for a moment before nodding. “That is acceptable. I will do my best to move out so that doesn’t happen.”

  The other woman laughed. “You’re so not cute Setsuna,” she said playfully.

  Setsuna nodded. “That’s alright.”

  “Well, what do you want to do today after I call them to cancel?”

  “I don’t know. I was going to do homework.”

  Her aunt shook her head. “Nope. I’m going to make you watch a movie marathon. It’s rare that I ever get to just sit at home and relax.”

  The girl nodded. “Okay. I don’t mind that.”

  Her aunt laughed while standing up, before throwing the remote to her niece, catching her off guard. “Bring something up on Netflix for us to watch while I make this call.”

  Setsuna looked down at the remote, while her aunt left the room to retrieve her cell phone, and realized that it had too many buttons. She recognized the power button, but besides that, she had no clue how to use anything else. Shrugging, she turned on the TV, only for it to go to a home screen. It was a smart TV.

  “Great.” She frowned.

  Absently, she decided to just push every button, to try and get something to work. It was when she pushed the fourth button that something incredible happened. Whether it was a right or wrong incredible was yet to be decided. Upon pushing the fourth button, which just so happened to have a faded tag, the TV suddenly lit up, and the sound of a woman moaning in apparent ecstasy blared through the speakers. On the screen were two women, one between the other’s legs.

  “What!” Setsuna’s face flushed, and she immediately began pressing random buttons to try and change the channel, only to pause.

  “Yes! Harder! Fuck!” A blond woman groaned as a dark skinned woman thrust her fingers in and out of her.

  “You like that?”

  “Fuck yes!”

  Setsuna was frozen. What was this? She didn’t even know two women could do such things. She leaned forward on the sofa.

  “Okay Setsu-chan, your date is canceled--” Her aunt paused before letting loose a loud belly laugh, making Setsuna who had been absorbed in watching the screen, fall off the couch.

  “It’s not what you think!” she cried out, as her aunt came around the couch and grabbed the remote, pressing a few buttons which turned on Netflix.

  “It’s okay Setsuna.”

  “I swear, I didn’t do it on purpose,” she stuttered out, as she picked herself up off the carpet, her face cherry red.

  Her aunt studied her for a moment. “Did you like it?”

  “What?” Setsuna paused midstep.

  “You seemed pretty engrossed with it.”

  “I was…I was just…It’s just--” she stuttered while waving her hands around.

  Her aunt chuckled. “Don’t worry so much Setsu-chan. I won’t tell my sister. What happens in this house stays in this house.”

  The girl nodded and quickly took her seat on the other end of the couch.

  “You never answered my question, though.”

  “What?”

  “Did you like it? The two women who were going at it.”

  Setsuna stared at her in shock for a moment before her aunt spoke up. “Have you ever been with a woman? Or should I say a girl as you are younger?”

  Setsuna shook her head frantically. “No!”

  Her aunt tilted her head thoughtfully. “Are you curious about it? Should I start collecting omiai of rich girls?”

  “Um.”

  Suddenly, her aunt burst into laughter. “I’m just kidding Setsu-chan. You’re just too cute when you’re embarrassed!”

  Setsuna bowed her head, and buried it in her hands, as her ears began to burn. “Baka,” she mumbled.

  The older woman took a moment to search through the shows, and movies, before the two of them agreed on something. Her aunt paused before clicking on the movie and met Setsuna’s curious gaze with a smirk. “I wouldn’t mind if you brought home a girl one day, Setsu-chan. Actually, I encourage it. My sister can be such a prude. Just know that while you’re here, I will not dish out any judgment.” She winked, and selected the movie, before settling back into her seat.

 

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