In the shadow of truth s.., p.27
In the Shadow of Truth: (Shadow Series Book 3), page 27
Kathryn pulled back with a confident smile, but within seconds, she found she’d underestimated her powers of persuasion, when Jenny regained control of her weakened knees and picked up where she’d left off.
“Dinner is ruined, Kathryn. You promised you wouldn’t be long.”
“I’m really sorry, honey.” She produced a large flat envelope from behind her back—a peace offering. “I made you a gift.” Her eyes twinkled and her voice lifted with the promise of something worthwhile.
Jenny slumped in exasperation, finding it hard to be angry. “I don’t need gifts. Just get home for dinner on time, please.”
Kathryn pulled back the envelope with overexaggerated disappointment. “You don’t want the gift?”
Jenny deliberated, albeit halfheartedly.
“You made me a gift?”
“Sort of.”
Jenny exhaled her impatience.
Kathryn smiled and kissed her on the forehead. “You think about it. I have got to shower. I’ve been in a room filled with … well … you’ll see. Give me five minutes.”
She darted into the bedroom, gift in tow, and left Jenny alone in the hallway to contemplate her failed disciplinary skills.
Jenny let her unspoken protest dissipate into the sound of the running water and weighed the extravagant bottle of wine in her hand. She shook her head and savored the taste of Kathryn on her lips. “God, I love that woman.”
Kathryn soon emerged from the bedroom wrapped in her sleek burgundy full-length robe as she twisted her damp hair off her shoulders with one hand and pinned it up with the other.
Jenny sat back on the couch and crossed her legs, marveling at Kathryn’s feminine elegance. Kathryn pulled the large envelope from under her arm and sat opposite her on the coffee table. Jenny noticed her playful mood had been replaced with one more reflective, and she wondered what could have happened in the last few minutes to instigate such a dramatic shift.
She leaned forward. “What is it?”
Kathryn set the thick envelope beside her and took her hand. “First, I’m truly sorry about dinner.”
“I’m not really mad.”
“Second, I know I’m not the most demonstrative person in the world when it comes to expressing how I feel to the people I care about.”
“Wait a minute,” Jenny interrupted. “If this is about the other night, I told you, it’s not you, it’s—”
“So,”—Kathryn cut her off as she presented the large beige envelope—“I made this for you, and if ever you need a reminder of how I feel and how much you mean to me …” She pushed the envelope closer, until Jenny reluctantly accepted it.
“This isn’t necessary, baby. I know how you feel.”
“You don’t want?” Kathryn playfully tugged the gift back toward her.
Jenny smiled, glad to see the humor return. “Of course I want.”
She opened the flap and peered inside, and then gazed at Kathryn in befuddled adoration as she slid the twelve-inch black disc from its sleeve. “It’s a record.”
The record sported a red, white, and blue label, with V Disc written in bold letters and a disclaimer from the War Department of the United States claiming ownership of all content. Jenny held it up. “Roosevelt’s fireside chats?”
“No, silly.” Kathryn grinned as she took the record and stood. “I recorded a song for you. Two, actually.”
Jenny swiveled in her seat as her eyes followed Kathryn to the phonograph console behind the couch. “But there’s a ban on recording music because of the strike.”
“Well,” Kathryn drew out as she held up the 78, “you see this label?” She pointed at the V Disc logo. “A friend of mine is heading up a new project that will send new music to the boys overseas. The AFM has given special clearance to the War Department to allow the sessions and distribute these recordings.” She lifted the cherry veneer cabinet lid and slid the record onto the turntable spindle. “So, I volunteered to provide backup vocals on occasion … that’s why I was late, sorry again … and, in exchange, he let me borrow the band and some studio time.”
She switched on the player and carefully set the needle on the edge of the spinning disc. After a few audible pops, the needle found its groove, and violins swelled like a wave of lilting flowers, creating the perfect introduction to a song of love and devotion.
Kathryn slid in behind her on the couch and pulled her close, wrapping her long arms around her. Jenny relaxed into her welcoming embrace, and her body hummed with approval as the warmth of Kathryn’s tall form pressed against her and made them one.
“Close your eyes,” Kathryn whispered in her ear. Jenny dutifully complied and leaned in to the kiss planted below her ear. Her bliss was tempered by a niggling thread of guilt that her irrational insecurity had manifested itself as doubt in Kathryn’s mind. She didn’t doubt Kathryn’s love; on the contrary, she saw it every day, in every stolen look, every intimate touch, every confession of the soul. Jenny couldn’t explain her jealousy about Luc. It came from a place deep within, vicious and unbidden. Somewhere in the dark recesses of her psyche lurked a spoiled little creature, pissing in a corner to bolster her floundering ego.
Kathryn mercifully pardoned her weakness, maybe even appreciated the voracity of it. Such passion could not exist without love, after all … that is what she told herself to make herself feel better.
Enveloped in Kathryn’s arms, Jenny had never felt safer, more loved, or more in the right place, with the right person. They complemented each other perfectly.
If she needed any further proof that their love was here to stay, she need only get lost in the most intimate gift she’d ever been given. Kathryn’s love song was like a mirror held up to her soul. The tune was unfamiliar, but the words could have been written by her own heart.
Ever since their reunion on the island, where Kathryn bravely revealed the depth of her love, Jenny’s own feelings had blossomed. Kathryn’s confession had given her heart permission to soar.
Before that, Kathryn had been a fantasy, a waking dream, something to believe in because she wanted it so badly that she couldn’t bear not to. But in the back of her mind, she knew that what made Kathryn so special also made her dangerous. She was an exquisite woman who could have anyone simply because she wished it. Perfect strangers would fall under her spell armed with nothing more than a fantasy of their own and a devilish twinkle from those endless blue eyes.
It wasn’t that Jenny consciously waited for the day Kathryn would turn her affections elsewhere, but fantasies are just that, and reality has a way of exposing dreams that are too good to be true. When their affair had ended, Jenny thought reality had caught up with her and chastised her in the most spiteful way for ignoring it.
Only after, when she’d so readily accepted that she’d merely been used, did she realize she’d been waiting for the inevitable end. She had loved with abandon each day like it was the last, and when she’d thought it was over, she could only shake her head and tell herself I told you so. It was comforting. She didn’t have to mourn what was never real.
But it was real, and the fantasy paled in comparison to reality. One of the great, wonderful mysteries of life was that Kathryn Hammond had lost her heart to her. More and more, Jenny gave herself over to a love she’d only imagined possible in her dreams. With each passing day, that love grew, but this time it was not with the frantic urgency of a castle built on shifting sands but, rather, to a deep, profound need to surrender to a force greater than her own will.
She had an insatiable desire to be everything to Kathryn: her rock, her shelter, her last. Anything less would be an injustice to the devotion that had invaded her soul and taken over her reason. Kathryn’s song echoed the same, and though Jenny sensed that love every day, the physical manifestation of it, in the divine magic of melodic strings and the luscious timbre of Kathryn’s delivery, held her spellbound in a wave of sensations that pulled her closer than ever to the woman she loved. Kathryn’s voice, one she thought she knew so well, took on an intimate clarity she had never heard before. Jenny could have attributed it to the studio setting or the tonal warmth of the tube-driven phonograph console, but she preferred to think it was because their souls were singing as one. At that moment, they were physically and spiritually closer than they had ever been, and she never wanted it to end.
* * *
Kathryn hoped her gift was enough. It wasn’t much, just a song, but it said everything she felt in her heart and was somehow unable to articulate. In the studio, she had the luxury of multiple takes, but she chose the first one, as it seemed the truest to her heart. She had to admit, she’d never sounded better.
The flawless strings swelled to the finale, and Kathryn sealed the ensuing silence with one more kiss to the nape of Jenny’s neck before reaching to save the phonograph needle from label groove purgatory.
Jenny held her fast as they listened to the needle grind until it was mercifully silenced by the automatic record arm disengaging the turntable. Kathryn took her immobility as a good sign, and she smiled and pressed her head against Jenny’s in relief.
“Do you know?” she whispered.
Jenny reached back and laid an affirming hand on her cheek. “I love you so much right now.”
It was just what Kathryn wanted to hear. In an uncertain world, no matter how strong the bond, a physical reminder could bridge the gap between the mind and the heart when even the principles didn’t realize there was a space.
“Promise me something,” Kathryn began.
“Anything.”
“Remember this moment … whatever happens … remember this moment and how much I love you.”
Jenny twisted in her arms, concern knitting her brow. “What do you mean whatever happens? Kat, what’s—”
Kathryn silenced her with a reassuring kiss. “It doesn’t mean anything. Just remember that you’re a part of me, and I will love you always. Promise?”
Jenny turned fully and returned the kiss, cupping Kathryn’s face in her hands. She pulled back and looked into her eyes. “Of course I promise.”
Kathryn smiled. “Thank you.”
Jenny chuckled and shook her head, sliding down in Kathryn’s lap to rest her head on her chest. “That’s a silly thing to thank me for. I couldn’t forget this feeling if I tried. Not that I would want to.”
Kathryn tightened her embrace. Mission accomplished. “Good.”
They lay in contented bliss for a few glorious minutes, until Jenny lifted her head. “What’s on the other side?”
Kathryn momentarily thought it was a commentary on the mutual feeling that they could both die right then and there and be perfectly happy, but she realized it was about the other side of the record.
“Ah. I recorded “Clair de Lune” on the piano, for those nights when I’m not here. You can put on the record and I’ll serenade you to sleep in absentia.”
Jenny smiled and tangled her fingers in Kathryn’s talented digits. “I love listening to you play.” She was silent for a moment and then blurted out, “What do you think about moving in here?”
Kathryn froze except for her eyes, which were darting around the room like she’d never seen it before. It was one of those questions like, “Do you love me?” It required an immediate response, and paralyzed indecision was not one of the better choices. It wasn’t that she was indecisive—she would love nothing more than to live with the woman she cherished—but there were other considerations. She had no assignment at the moment, but one could come up at any time, and it might require that she live at her own apartment. She fully expected Jenny to be offended by her silence, maybe even hurt, but she could only manage to utter “Uh …” in reply.
To her relief, Jenny laughed into her chest.
Trying to gracefully recover, Kathryn merely stated the truth. “I can’t give up my place.”
Jenny calmly shrugged and looked up. “I’m not asking you to give up your place. Just live here while you can. It wouldn’t be much different than our arrangement now, except we’d be less nomadic, and there’d actually be food in the fridge.”
Kathryn wanted to, and her widening grin gave Jenny hope.
“Come on, Kat. I think we can find some room in this big ol’ mansion for a shoebox filled with personal possessions and a few white shirts.”
Kathryn threw her head back in laughter and then playfully tickled the giggling woman in her lap.
“Is that what you think of me? A shoebox worth of stuff and some white shirts? I’ll have you know, I have an extensive hat and shoe collection too!”
Jenny grinned and patted Kathryn patronizingly on the hand. “I’ll clear off a whole shelf in the closet.”
“In that case …” Kathryn softened her demeanor and tenderly kissed her new roommate on the forehead. “I’d love to.”
Jenny smothered her in a hug. “Thank you for saying yes.” She pulled back and gazed into Kathryn’s smiling blue eyes. “And thank you for my beautiful gift. I promise to make you a really grand housewarming gift when you bring over your shoebox.”
Kathryn guided a lock of blonde hair behind Jenny’s ear. “You are my beautiful gift.”
“Mm.” Jenny leaned in and kissed her. “You are deliciously romantic.”
Kathryn chuckled. “Shock.”
“Stop. You made me a record.” She retrieved the thick cardboard sleeve from the coffee table to moon over it.
“Oh, one thing.” Kathryn pointed to the envelope and cleared her throat to officially announce, “I am required to inform you that disc belongs to the U.S. government. At war’s end, it is to be turned in for immediate destruction.”
* * *
Jenny snorted at the thought of it. “The hell you say. Just let them try to take it back.” She settled into the safety of her snickering lover’s arms, pleased with her dissention.
The record represented so much more than just a song. It was the gift of love, mysterious and eternal. Love had found them, changed them, saved them. They were one now. No one could take that away.
Just let the universe try to take that back. Jenny tightened her embrace. Just let it try.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jenny leaned against the doorjamb of the bathroom and crossed her arms. Kathryn was submerged in the tub, her long dark hair languidly swirling about her face like Ophelia descending to the depths. Her leg was casually draped on the side of the porcelain tub, her foot tapping out a tune only she could hear.
Jenny smiled and looked at her watch, wondering how long Kathryn could hold her breath. Quite some time, apparently, and Jenny thought she should make her presence known before she startled her and she reflexively used the bar of soap as a lethal weapon, which she had no doubt she could do.
She lifted her foot and let her shoe fall to the floor before slipping out of the other.
Kathryn sat up with a whoosh and a splash as she guided her hair from her face.
“Hey, you.”
Jenny grinned and greeted her drowned rat with a kiss. “Hi, baby.”
She unbuttoned her suit jacket and looked at Kathryn’s wet, dirt-stained clothes, piled in the corner. “You’ve been playing in the mud again.”
“Yeah, we got caught in the storm this afternoon at the center. I was soaked to the bone.”
Jenny slid the vanity bench over to the edge of the tub and pushed up her sleeves. “Warm bath feels good, I bet.”
Kathryn slid further into the tub. “Mm … divine.”
Jenny loved coming home to find Kathryn’s car in the drive. They’d been living together for over a month, and she marveled at the smooth transition. She’d been kidding about the shoebox and a few white shirts, but the totality of Kathryn’s possessions amounted to little more than a few boxes and a garment bag filled with clothes. On moving day, as they covered the furniture that was left behind in her apartment, Jenny asked if she was sure there was nothing else she wanted to bring. Kathryn merely smiled and said, “I know where to visit it should I get nostalgic.”
Kathryn seemed anything but nostalgic in the big house. Jenny was delighted at how easily she made herself at home. She even reorganized the art studio upstairs. She hadn’t used it, but Jenny sensed a new calm and renewed interest that told her she might.
They cherished their weekend afternoons down at the dock and their late evenings together. Even lost in their own worlds, they were only a random thought away. When Kathryn played the piano in the study, Jenny would stretch out on the couch in the living room with a book. Soon, her imagination would turn to Kathryn’s beautiful hands moving gracefully over the keys, which would lead to imagining her hands moving gracefully over her. The book would be abandoned, and the piano would become a silent bystander, as they’d wonder why they just didn’t make love all day, every day.
It seemed they’d been together for years, as they fell into each other’s routine with ease. Today was a Monday, and it was Jenny’s favorite day because the club was dark and Kathryn would be home at a reasonable hour to greet her. Finding her naked in the tub was almost as good as last Monday, when she came home to find her on the couch wearing nothing but a fashion magazine.
She smiled at the memory and picked up the soap, holding out her hand for Kathryn’s long leg, which was given without hesitation. Jenny lathered up the toned limb and picked up the razor and shaved slow, precise paths through the suds on Kathryn’s calf.
“Mmm,” Kathryn purred in delight. “I don’t think I’ve ever had someone else shave my legs before.”
Jenny grinned. “Better not have.”
Kathryn laughed, but that laugh quickly became a rapturous exhale when Jenny ran her hand up her leg to check her handiwork. She met Kathryn’s darkening gaze, and Jenny’s wistful grin turned into a full-faced smile.
“This reminds me of the first day we met, when I straightened your seams in the ladies’ room at The Grotto. Do you remember?”
