Tiny fractures, p.23
Tiny Fractures, page 23
“Busy as usual for a Saturday morning,” she says, wiping her brow with her forearm. “Jenna called out, but Tyler was able to come in, which is good. What time are you coming in today?”
“Five,” he says. “Ran, too,” Shane adds with a nod in my direction.
Casey turns to me, an even bigger smile on her face. “Awesome. I won’t get off until eight. I’m excited to hang out with you guys for a little bit,” she adds. “Are you guys ready to order?”
We go around the table ordering our food and drinks, and Casey eyes Cat intensely as Cat wavers between two menu options before deciding on a traditional Irish breakfast.
“How about you, Ran?” Casey touches my forearm yet again as if to get my attention, even though she already has it.
“Just scrambled eggs and some turkey bacon, please,” I say.
“Are you sure?” she asks. “That doesn’t seem like enough to feed a big boy like you.”
“I’m sure.”
“Okay.” She shrugs. “Food should be out in about fifteen minutes.” She turns to walk away, but not before looking Cat up and down again.
“Bitch,” Vada mumbles, and all eyes turn to her. “What? Did you see the way she was eyeing Cat?”
Zack laughs. “Uh-huh. She wasn’t subtle at all. Girls are so catty. No pun intended.”
“Why, though?” Cat asks me.
Zack answer for me. “Probably because she and Ran”—he motions his hands to indicate sex—“and like so many girls Ran hooked up with, she was hoping to take it further. But Ran over here always kept it strictly business… or maybe I should say he kept it strictly pleasure,” Zack laughs.
My brother snorts a laugh, and even Shane looks like he has to work hard to keep a straight face.
I throw Zack a death stare, feeling the urge to sucker punch him for telling Cat about my prior promiscuity. He’s not wrong: I did hook up with Casey at one of Shane’s parties back in February or March. It was stupid. A lot of my hookups were stupid, actually. I don’t even really know why I did it other than to fill some void inside me, to numb the pain or whatever.
It started when I was fifteen and we moved back to New York. I quickly found that I had no problems getting girls to hook up with me. One-night stands became a regular occurrence, and I’d have sex with a new girl almost every weekend. I made it a rule never to give out my number, and I didn’t take theirs, either, letting them know right from the start that I had no intention of taking this any further than just a casual fuck. And most of the time the girls were fine with it. Occasionally feelings would get hurt, and then I’d have to deal with a week or two of whispering and angry side-glances if the girl happened to go to school with me, but it never really deterred other girls from sleeping with me. In fact, many of them sought me out, and I was usually more than willing to oblige. That all came to a complete halt, of course, the minute I met Cat.
“Huh, that makes sense,” Cat says, and I can’t tell if she’s merely feigning or truly is as confident as she sounds. She takes my hand into hers and, very carefully, leans against my taped-up shoulder. “I’d want more, too. I guess I should consider myself lucky,” she says with a smile.
“You should,” Steve agrees. “Do you know that you’re only one of two girls my little brother has been in a relationship with?”
“Okay, can you guys stop talking about me like I’m not here and switch the damn subject to anything other than my sex life?” I groan.
“But what’s the fun in that, Ran?” Steve asks with a malicious grin on his face. “There’s so much to talk about.”
“Yeah, like how you had sex with Candace Bell under the bleachers during the damn homecoming game? Such a ballsy fucking move,” Zack says, nodding approvingly.
“Or remember that one time at Shane’s party when some asshole spilled his drink all over you and you told us you were going to take a quick shower and some random chick asked if she could join you?” Steve chimes in. “And then she actually did!”
“Seriously, guys, drop it! Please.” I’m worried that all of this will be too much for Cat and scare her away, especially given that, according to Vada, Cat doesn’t have much experience at all. I don’t want her to think I’m only with her for this one thing, because that’s as far from reality as can be. “And also, can you stop filming for a fucking second?” I beg Zack with a nod at his damn camera.
He smirks at me. “I’ll never stop filming, and I don’t really feel like dropping this subject.” Zack leans back in his chair.
“Well, then maybe we should start talking about your sex life, too,” Shane says. “Or rather the lack thereof.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Zack asks, his brow creasing now. “I’m with Summer.”
“Yeah,” Shane says, “but remember when you and Summer first got together and you were whining one night about how nervous you were about your first time with her, and how Ran had to talk you through how to give a girl a manual orgasm?”
Zack turns beet red. “Hey, what the fuck, man? I talked to you guys in confidence about that shit.”
“Then maybe we should honor Ran’s request and change the subject.” Shane shrugs and grins at me.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Vada says, and only then do I realize she has tears in her eyes. She’s holding her side because she’s laughing so hard she can barely breathe. “Ran really had to tell you how to get a girl off manually?”
“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Zack huffs, crossing his arms in front of his chest, looking embarrassed and pissed off.
“But, like, really though?” Vada wheezes. “What, did you have trouble finding it?” she adds, barely able to get the words out before dissolving into another fit of laughter.
“You know what…” Zack starts but doesn’t finish his sentence when Vada’s laugh turns into a shriek and she leans onto Steve, who is very much enjoying this turn in the conversation.
“I need to use the bathroom,” Zack says, anger tingeing his voice. He stands abruptly before striding away.
“Hope you find it,” Vada calls after her twin brother with a wicked laugh.
Our breakfast comes. We eat and chat about nothing in particular. Once again, I’m content with my company and enjoy having Cat next to me. I can’t help but glance at her again and again; I’m distracted by her presence and drawn to her like a magnet.
Saturday, June 26th
Cat
Ronan and I spend almost every day together over the next couple of weeks, and each minute I spend with him makes me yearn for even more. We spend our time together hanging out with our friends, though we both crave alone time, which is hard to come by. Although my mom tries to work from home a few times a week, her obligations to her patients frequently require her to leave the house, saddling me with the responsibility of looking after my siblings. Ronan is nothing but patient and understanding, and he spends time with me and my siblings whenever he can. I actually think my sister, Samantha, has developed a crush on Ronan because she gets almost as excited to see him as I do.
Ronan and I spend time at his house only twice, each time making a pit stop for him to change into his work clothes before we head back to my place to spend a few hours together before he heads into work. I don’t think much of it, to be honest. I don’t really care where we spend our time; I just enjoy being with him.
Whenever Ronan works, I try to make it to Murphy’s for a few hours, and although we don’t get to interact a whole lot, it’s still comforting—and sexy as hell—to watch him. I notice how frequently Ronan gets hit on while he works. He politely rejects any advances, and I relish that he makes a regular point to steal a kiss from me. And at the end of the day, I’m the one who gets to be with him.
I’ve also been hitting the gym with Ronan, the guys, and Vada, which, often ends up with Vada and Shane scolding Ronan and me for getting distracted by each other. What can I say? Ronan is nice to look at, and it doesn’t help things when he’s pumped and sweaty.
Whenever I’m with Ronan—and even when I’m not—my mind tends to wander, and I find myself thinking about what it would be like to be with him all the way. Whenever he touches me, my body immediately responds and I long for more. But we never get too far.
What happened with Adam still haunts me, casting a shadow over my new relationship, and I hesitate to open up completely, to let down my guard, to let Ronan in all the way. And the other reason why we never get further than a hot ten-minute make-out session is that we’re never alone long enough to explore each other. We’ll get interrupted by a phone call, or someone will walk in on us. Vada, in particular, has a real thing for barging in on Ronan and me, usually just as things are getting hot and heavy. And though Ronan never, ever pushes me or makes me feel bad, I can tell he’s frustrated by the constant interruptions. I know it’s not about sex for him but our ability to be together, alone, which is further impeded by Ronan’s overfull schedule. He’s been working a lot, has been working out with Shane almost daily, and on top of that, conditioning for hockey started a few days ago. And I get the impression there’s something else going on. I sometimes catch him pensively staring into nothingness, and he startles when I approach. But whenever I mean to ask him about it, he distracts me with a kiss or a joke.
“Here are your cleats, Kitty,” my mom says as she walks into my room. I’ve been packing for the last thirty minutes because Vada, Tori, and I are heading to Buffalo tomorrow for five days for training camp for our varsity softball team. It’s apparently something our coach does every year, as Vada told me, and now I’m getting ready to leave for the second time this summer. “Do you need anything else?” my mom asks as she hands me my cleats.
I pack them into my gym bag along with my bat and three fresh uniforms. “No, I think I’m good,” I say, my hands on my hips as I contemplate what else I need.
“Okay, then I’m going to take Sam and Benny shopping with me. I promised them ice cream after, so we won’t be back for a while,” she says and turns to leave, but stops abruptly and turns back to me. “When is Ronan coming over?”
I smile at my mom’s mention of his name. “He should be here in a few minutes,” I say, grinning from ear to ear as excitement spreads through my body.
“Well, then you better finish packing so you can spend some quality alone time with your boyfriend.”
She’s right. I finish packing the rest of my stuff while my mom gets my siblings, herds them into the car, and leaves.
There’s a knock on the front door just a few minutes later, and I giddily bound down the stairs, taking two at once, and yank the door open, feeling breathless.
“Woah, are you alright?” Ronan chuckles as he steps into the house.
I didn’t see him at all yesterday because we were both busy—Ronan with work and conditioning, and me watching my brother and sister while my mom had emergency patients to see.
“I’m fine, just couldn’t wait to see you,” I say, catching my breath. “You got a haircut!”
Ronan’s hair is my favorite kind of effortlessly tousled on top with longer strands falling across his forehead, but his hair fades and is tightly cropped around the back and sides of his head. I run my hand over his neck and the back of his head, loving the feeling of his fresh cut. He must love the feeling, too, because his eyes close as soon as my fingers begin to caress his skin. I can’t help it—I kiss his lips softly as I urge my body closer to his.
I’ve been feeling adventurous, braver, more eager to test my boundaries with him, and for some reason, I feel extra feisty today. Maybe it’s because I know I won’t get to soak in his presence, his warmth, his energy for a few days, and it makes my heart ache. How is it even possible to have only known someone for a month and already be so lost to them?
Ronan’s hands find my hips, and he pulls me against him. My whole body touches his, and I part my lips to allow him entrance. We kiss like this for a few minutes before he reluctantly breaks the contact, then takes a small step back to look into my eyes. I swear he has a way of looking directly into my soul.
“So, training camp tomorrow, huh?” he asks, his voice husky. I can still taste him on my lips.
“Unfortunately.” I slide my hand from his neck down his chest to rest it on his side. “So, what should we do with the last few hours we have together?” I ask, forcing my voice to sound innocent as I blink up at him.
A mischievous grin forms on his full lips. “I can think of a few things.”
“Oh yeah? Like what?” I ask, raising one eyebrow.
He takes my hand into his. “I’ll show you.” He leads me out of the hallway, through the living room, and up the stairs to my room.
My heart speeds up with each step, anticipating his touch. My senses are heightened, my nerves under tension as I analyze myself, trying to figure out how far I want this to go.
As soon as we get to my room, Ronan’s lips are on mine, searing hot as our tongues explore each other. His hands find my low back, sending ripples of excitement through my core. Goose bumps erupt when Ronan’s fingers sneak under the hem of my shirt to gently stroke the bare skin of my back.
I don’t think I have control over my body at this point; I follow suit and carefully slide my right hand underneath his shirt. My fingers discover the contours of Ronan’s firm stomach, outlining his abs, tracing each ridge. I push his shirt up to gain access to more of him, reveling in the feel of him as his lips leave mine to trace my jawline before he kisses my neck.
“You are so beautiful, Cat,” Ronan whispers against my skin, sending shivers down my spine. Ronan slowly glides his hand up my back. The feel of his fingers on my bare skin is intoxicating, and I moan softly while my fingers roam his chest. God, his skin is so warm, so soft. My other hand moves underneath Ronan’s shirt, up his side, feeling his ribs as I push up the hem of his shirt even more, exposing him to me.
He hesitates for a second, studying my eyes, then reaches his left hand over his head and tugs his shirt off, dropping it to the floor. It’s the first time he’s done this, the first time we’ve gotten to any sort of state of undress, and my heart speeds up, hammering against my chest, testing its resolve. I let my eyes roam his naked torso, marveling at his sun-kissed, smooth skin, his lean, muscular shoulders, arms, and chest, his sexy stomach. But before I can get too distracted, Ronan crashes his lips against mine and I’m immediately lost in the feeling of him touching me again. My hands are everywhere, exploring the landscape of his back and shoulders before sliding across his ribs and coming to rest on his chest. His heart hammers against his ribs, and his breathing is as erratic as mine.
“Cat?” my mom calls from downstairs.
My eyes fly open, meeting Ronan’s.
“Of course,” he groans quietly, then takes a step back. His hands retreat from my skin as he picks up his shirt off the floor and pulls it back over his head.
“Kitty, are you upstairs?” my mom calls again, making her way up the stairs.
I adjust my shirt, making sure I don’t look too disheveled as I try to get my breathing under control. It feels like I just got off an amazing rollercoaster ride that ended too soon. “Yeah, Mom. What’s up?” I say, my voice pitchy. I run my hands through my hair. This is beyond frustrating.
“Hey,” she says as she reaches my doorway. I didn’t close the door when Ronan led me upstairs, expecting to have the house to ourselves for a couple of hours, and both Ronan and I stand awkwardly in the middle of my room. “Hi Ronan,” she adds, and smiles warmly at him.
He reciprocates the smile, though I can tell he’s working hard to calm himself down, sobering himself up as quickly as humanly possible.
I smile to myself, knowing I turn him on so much. It makes me feel beautiful and, yeah, powerful.
“I’m really sorry, I feel like I always interrupt you two. But I just got a call.” She turns her attention to me. “I need to run to the clinic; I have a patient in crisis and need to see him right now. I’m sorry, Kitty,” she adds, looking crestfallen.
“It’s alright, Mom.” I don’t want her to feel bad for doing her job, for helping people. “Where are Benny and Sam?” I ask, and move to take Ronan’s hand. He interlaces his fingers with mine.
“Downstairs. Benny is really upset because I promised them ice cream,” she sighs, shaking her head.
“We’ll take them for ice cream,” Ronan says, like it’s a given thing. My mom beams at him while I stare at his perfect profile and marvel at how selfless this boy is and how I got so damn lucky.
“Oh my gosh, that would be amazing. Thank you!” My mom throws her arms around Ronan’s neck, hugging him tightly. He raises his eyebrows at me, one hand still holding mine while his other arm is by his side, unsure of what to do with my mom’s affection toward him, and I giggle. My mom releases Ronan from her hug. “I’m going to head out, then. I promise I’ll make this up to you guys somehow. Hopefully I didn’t interrupt too much.” She winks at us with a grin and walks out of my room.
I have a hard time reading Ronan; his face is serious and his jaw tense. “Are you okay?”
His expression softens. “Yeah, I’m fine. Should we go and take Sam and Benny to get ice cream?”
I nod, and we make our way into the living room where, to the absolute jubilation of my little brother and sister, I announce that Ronan is going to take us to get ice cream. We shepherd my siblings into Ronan’s car, and he grabs my hand just as I’m about to hop into the passenger seat, pulling me toward him.
“You have no idea how sorry I am that we don’t ever seem to have time to ourselves,” he whispers, our lips only an inch apart. My eyelids shut, waiting for him to close the last bit of distance and kiss me. He chuckles in a low voice before he gives me what I crave and grazes his lips softly against mine. But it’s not enough; my hunger for him is reawakened, and I part my lips, intensifying our kiss, tasting him on my tongue, wanting to continue where we left off.
“Ew,” Benny whines from the backseat, and Samantha starts giggling.
Ronan and I break apart, and I see my resignation reflected in his eyes. I give him an apologetic smile and a quick kiss on his cheek before I slide into the passenger seat and he closes the door behind me.
