Just a touch away, p.30
Just a Touch Away, page 30
Chapter 22
Wes had already been to see their mom earlier that morning and had assured Hannah she was doing great, but as the smell of disinfectant and other cleaning products engulfed her, she couldn’t help swallowing nervously.
Winter looked over. For a second, Hannah thought she would take her hand, but then she just cleared her throat. “Did you know there’s no Circle 8 in Sunriver?”
Hannah groaned. “He didn’t!”
“Yep, he did. Took me half an hour to find the bakery when I volunteered to get brunch for everyone earlier.”
When Hannah had woken up, Winter had been gone—not only from bed but from the house as well. So that was why it had taken her so long to return. Hannah had assumed Winter needed some space after holding her close all night, and it was great to find out that wasn’t it at all. The dark shadows beneath Winter’s eyes had disappeared, so maybe she had slept as deeply as Hannah had.
“Does he play that trick on everyone?” Winter raised her voice to be heard over the squeaking of her shoes on the hospital floor.
“No, only on—” Hannah stopped herself before the words my partners could slip out. “Um, people he likes.” She peeked at Winter, who seemed to be blushing the tiniest bit.
When they reached room 121, Hannah paused to slide her clammy hands down the outer seam of her jeans.
Winter stepped close and squeezed her shoulder.
Hannah glanced back and met her eyes. Amazing how warm Winter’s eyes could be even though she’d thought of them as icy in the beginning.
“Are you sure you want me to go in with you?” Winter asked. “I’d be fine waiting in the cafeteria.”
“No. Come in with me. I want you to meet my mother.” Ugh. She hoped that didn’t sound too much as if she wanted to introduce her new girlfriend to her parents.
After a quick knock, she entered her mother’s hospital room, with Winter following two steps behind her, offering silent support.
Her mom sat upright in the hospital bed, propped up with pillows. She was still pale, but her eyes were alert, and she immediately extended the arm that wasn’t hooked up to an IV toward Hannah. Pieces of tape held gauze pads in place on her arm, indicating where needles had been earlier.
Tears of relief stung Hannah’s eyes as she hurried toward her. “Mom! How do you feel?”
“About how I look, I imagine.” Her mother chuckled.
Hannah hugged her gently, careful not to jostle her. “You look great!”
“Good to know the reason you’re single isn’t that you have no clue how to compliment a woman.” Her mother returned the embrace with her right arm, clinging to her in a way that revealed how scared she’d been yesterday, even though she tried to hide it behind a joke.
It felt so good to be able to hold her after fearing she might never get to do it again.
Finally, her mother released her and peered past her at Winter. “Oh, hello.” She glanced at Hannah. “Maybe you’re not so single after all. Who’s this?”
Winter stepped forward and extended the yellow lilies they had picked up on the way to the hospital. “Winter Sullivan. Nice to meet you, ma’am.”
“Connie, please. Thank you so much for the flowers.” Her mother motioned for her to put them down on the overbed table. “Wait, are you the Winter? Hannah’s roommate?”
Oh no. Hannah feverishly tried to remember what she had told her mother about Winter. The last time she had talked about Winter regularly had been during the weeks they had argued constantly. She hadn’t mentioned her lately because what was she supposed to say? She tried to kiss me during a cuddle session, and then I kissed her under a leaky sink?
Winter nodded. “The one and only.”
“So you drove Hannah all the way from Portland? That’s so nice of you!”
“Um, no. I rode up with Wes, Mom. Winter tracked me down later so I wouldn’t lose my half of the building.” When her mother squinted at her, Hannah added, “Remember the condition of the trust? No sleeping under different roofs and all that?”
“Oh my God!” Her mother clutched Hannah’s hand. “Please don’t tell me you—”
“No, Mom. It’s all fine. Please don’t get upset. Think of your stomach, okay?”
Her mom tapped the IV line. “They are pumping me so full of acid-blocking drugs, my poor stomach couldn’t produce a drop of acid, even if it wanted to.” She looked back and forth between Hannah and Winter. “So you two…”
“Um, Winter, do you think you could get my mother some more water?” Hannah pointed at the nearly empty water container. She couldn’t tell her mom everything with Winter in the room.
“Sure.” Winter strode to the door as if glad to make her escape.
As soon as she was gone, Hannah’s mom patted the bed next to her.
She perched on the hospital mattress and gently held the hand that had soothed away her pain so many times.
Her mother studied her from head to toe. “How are you?”
“Me? You’re the one in a hospital bed!”
“And you are the one who looks… I don’t know, but something’s different. It’s her, isn’t it?” Her mother nodded toward the door. “Winter. I should have known. Normally, people don’t get under your skin the way she did from the start.”
Hannah had never been able to keep anything from her for long—and she didn’t want to. In fact, she ached with the need to tell her everything. She searched for the right words to explain how they had slowly grown closer and Winter had started opening up to her. “I kissed her,” she finally blurted out.
Her mother smiled as if she had suspected all along. “Can’t blame you. Have you seen those eyes?”
Hannah laughed shakily. “Yeah, Mom, trust me. I’ve noticed them.”
“But? Don’t tell me she didn’t kiss you back!”
“No, she did.” God, did she ever! Hannah pressed her fingertips to her lips. “It was one of the best kisses I’ve ever had. If we hadn’t been halfway under a sink, with our elderly neighbor nearby, it would have been the best kiss of my life.”
“Under a sink?” Her mother chuckled. “And here I thought romance was dead.”
Hannah looked down at her mom’s hand in her own. “Winter doesn’t want romance,” she said quietly.
Her mother studied her with the kind of gaze that had always seemed to see into the deepest recesses of her mind. “And you do? With her?”
Hannah’s heart appeared to stumble, then lurched into a frantic staccato beat. For some time now, she had tried to convince herself Winter wasn’t her type; she only had the hots for her. But if her mother’s medical emergency had proven one thing, it was that life was too short to lie to yourself. She wasn’t just attracted to Winter’s dazzling blue eyes or her long, lean body; she was drawn to who she was as a person—not only her dry wit or the confident, fiercely independent exterior she showed everyone else but also the kindness and the vulnerability she tried so hard to hide. Those rare moments when Winter opened up touched Hannah to her very core. “Yes,” she said quietly. “I think if I let myself, I could really fall in love with her.”
Silence filled the hospital room.
“Wow,” her mother finally said.
Yeah, wow. How on earth had that happened?
“Oh, honey, that’s wonderful…isn’t it?”
“No, Mom, it’s really not. Winter isn’t in a position where she could ever return my feelings. She’s been hurt by people who were supposed to love her unconditionally, and that has convinced her she’s not the relationship type. Two months ago, she wasn’t even the friendship type!”
“Yeah, clearly. All that pesky being there for each other… That’s obviously not her thing. Must be why she dropped everything and drove all the way to Sunriver.”
“It’s not that easy, Mom.” Or was it? Did Winter just have to realize that she already was great at that being-there-for-each-other stuff?
“Here’s your water,” Winter said from the doorway.
Hannah dug her fingers into the hospital covers. Had Winter heard what they had been talking about?
But Winter’s face gave nothing away as she walked toward them, carrying a bottle of water. “The nurse mentioned you could also have some Jell-O.”
“Thank you. Maybe later,” her mom said. “Are you driving back to Portland from here, or are you staying for a few days?”
“We’re hitting the road,” Hannah said. “We don’t want to push our luck by staying away too long and have Winter’s sister find out. Unless you need me to stay for a bit longer?”
“No. I feel like I could sleep for the next two days, and then I’ll use my week in this luxury resort to catch up on my reading.” Her mother leaned back against the pillows. “Your ninety-two days are up in just over a month. By then, I’ll be home and doing better, and you can come back for a longer visit.”
Just over a month… That would have been reason to celebrate a few weeks ago, but now Hannah didn’t want to think about what would happen once they didn’t have to live together anymore.
They kept her mom company for a while longer until she yawned for the third time, clearly exhausted but not wanting to admit it.
Winter seemed quiet. Not that she was a chatterbox even under normal circumstances. Maybe she was just all talked out and needed a week with zero social interaction to recover. Or was she thinking about the end of their time as roommates too?
Finally, Hannah stood and placed a tender kiss on her mother’s cheek. “I love you. Please take it easy, okay?”
Her mother nodded. “I love you too. You two drive carefully.”
When Winter extended her hand for a shake, Hannah’s mom instead tugged her closer and gave her a quick hug. “Thank you for being there for her.”
Winter tilted her head in acknowledgment, even as she put on an I-barely-did-anything expression.
But the memory of Winter climbing into bed with her to hold her was still fresh in Hannah’s mind, warming not only her body but also her heart.
They both were silent as they walked to the car.
* * *
It was about eight o’clock when they finally turned onto their street. Winter hit the brakes. “Shit! Of course she has to show up now of all times!”
Hannah followed Winter’s fiery stare.
Brooke was crossing the street, walking back to her car from their building. Or maybe walking wasn’t the right word. Sauntering was more like it. She wore high heels and a black halter-neck dress that hugged her slim body, drawing the attention of every person in the nearby park.
“Oh no.” Hannah’s stomach churned as if she, too, had an ulcer. “What is she doing here, especially in a dress like that?”
“Forget the dress. She’s checking up on us. I bet she’ll do it more often now that we’re getting closer to meeting Julian’s trust condition and she knows her silly dare didn’t work the way she had planned.” Winter hit the horn with her fist, just as Brooke was about to get into her car.
Hannah jumped. “Winter! Give me fair warning next time you do that. One hospital visit is enough for this week.”
“Sorry, but we can’t let her leave without seeing us, or she might start to suspect we were gone. Better not risk it.”
Brooke looked over with an almost bored expression.
When their gazes met through the windshield, Hannah gave a cheerful wave.
Winter parked the SUV three parking spots down from Brooke’s car, and they got out.
Hannah’s legs felt unsteady as she walked toward Brooke, and it wasn’t only from being stuck in traffic for the past four hours.
Brooke observed them like a queen watching her subjects approach for an audience. “Well, well, look what the cat dragged in,” she drawled.
“What are you doing here?” Winter asked. “Dressed like that, shouldn’t you be at some posh soirée, drinking overpriced wine with all the other bigwigs?”
“That’s where I’m heading,” Brooke said as if she hadn’t noticed Winter’s insult. “But I thought I’d stop by to check in on my baby sister.” She studied their rumpled T-shirts. “What have you been up to?”
“Not much.” Winter’s face was a study in casual coolness. “Just a little day trip to Sunriver to visit Hannah’s family.”
Even Brooke’s tastefully applied makeup couldn’t hide the trace of hurt that flashed across her face. “Since when are you into family get-togethers? Why would you celebrate Independence Day with Hannah’s family when you never even wanted to spend it with us?”
When Winter had told Hannah about growing up as the unwanted illegitimate child and being dragged to spend the weekend at Jules’s house, Hannah had focused only on what it had done to Winter. Now she wondered for the first time what it had been like for Brooke.
“Just because the same man fathered us doesn’t make us family,” Winter said in a tone that could have frozen lava.
Brooke’s lipstick-covered mouth compressed into a deep-red line. “Oh, and Hannah’s folks are?”
“Yeah, kind of. That’s why we went down there for their Fourth of July family brunch. Hannah’s parents wanted to meet the woman their daughter is dating.”
What? Hannah swiveled around to stare at her.
Thankfully, Brooke was doing the same, so she didn’t seem to notice Hannah’s reaction. “Dating?” She drew out the word as if it couldn’t possibly apply to her sister. “You? And her?”
A protective growl that sounded pretty convincing rose from Winter’s chest. “Don’t talk about Hannah in that tone, or I’ll—!”
“How about both of you don’t talk about me like I’m not right here?” Then Hannah realized she was supposed to be Winter’s loving girlfriend. She quickly took Winter’s hand, lifted it to her mouth, and pressed a tender kiss to her knuckles. The warm skin made her want to nuzzle her face into it. “I mean, thanks for defending my honor, honey, but it’s not necessary.”
“Sorry.” Winter swiped her thumb across the back of Hannah’s hand.
Hannah struggled to ignore the rush of excitement Winter’s touch brought. It was a dangerous game they were playing, at least for her. Even though it was merely for Brooke’s sake, it didn’t feel fake at all.
Brooke studied her half sister through narrowed eyes. “Is this an attempt to get your hands on the entire building?”
Winter stiffened, and her fingers tightened around Hannah’s. “Of course you’d think that. You can’t imagine any motivation other than money, can you? You’re just as unable to feel any real emotions as your father was.”
“Our father,” Brooke snapped. “And you’re one to talk. It’s not like your mother ever really loved him. All she loved was having the attention of a powerful man…and his child support payments, of course.”
Winter leveled a murderous glare at her. “You little…!” When Hannah caressed her knuckles again, she snapped her mouth shut. Her shoulders heaved under several breaths. “You know what? It doesn’t matter if she loved him or not or if Julian was able to love anyone. I decided it’s time to step out of their shadows and just live my life.”
Wow. Hannah had wanted to keep watching Brooke to see if she bought it, but she couldn’t look away from Winter. Was there even anything to buy? Poker face aside, Winter wasn’t that great an actress. This was real, wasn’t it? Not their pretend relationship, of course, but Winter wanting to let go of the past. Hannah wished it to be real. Winter deserved to be happy, even if it might not be with her.
“Now you’ll have to excuse us,” Winter added coolly. “We’re going to go and create some Fourth of July fireworks of our own.” She strutted away, and only the tug on her arm made Hannah wake up from her stupor and rush after her.
“You’re really trying to give me a heart attack!” Hannah said once the front door had closed between them and Brooke.
“Sorry. I needed to improvise.” Winter held the second set of double doors at the other end of the small entrance hall open for Hannah, then seemed to notice that she was still holding her hand and quickly let go.
Hannah missed the warm touch immediately. She distracted herself by pressing the button for the elevator. Once the doors slid closed behind them, she leaned heavily against the elevator wall and studied Winter. “That was real, wasn’t it?”
The muscles in Winter’s throat worked as she swallowed. “No, of course not. I was just trying to con—”
“You really want to step out of your parents’ shadows,” Hannah added.
Winter blinked, then her gaze steeled. “Who says I was ever in their shadows?”
“Bullshit.” Hannah paused and realized they were acting out their elevator tradition again.
They grinned at each other, and the tension seemed to dissipate.
The metal doors opened on the top floor, yet neither of them moved to get out.
“You know,” Winter said quietly, “I realized I’ll never understand Julian. I don’t even know if I can ever forgive him. But I nearly missed out on a friendship that is pretty…adequate”—they shared another smile—“because I was so focused on hating him. I don’t want to keep doing that.”
Hannah’s heart seemed to grow until it filled her entire chest. “I’m so glad for you.”
“Yeah, well, enough of this touchy-feely stuff.” Winter pressed the button to open the elevator doors again and strode through before Hannah could say anything else. “And don’t worry about having to put on an act in front of Brooke for the next few years,” she said over her shoulder as she unlocked the door to their apartment. “She knows I never wanted a relationship, so she won’t get suspicious if we’re no longer a happy couple the next time she comes over.”
Hannah’s heart crash-landed. “Oh, good,” she got out. And maybe it was good to hear a reminder like that. In Sunriver, it had felt as if there was something between them…something they might be able to build a relationship on. But just because Winter was ready to let go of her hatred and bitterness didn’t mean she was open to starting a relationship with her. “You know what? I think I’ll take a long shower, then go to bed. I’m exhausted. Good night and thank you again. For everything.” She walked past Winter and down the hall without waiting for a reply.
