Just a touch away, p.35
Just a Touch Away, page 35
Hannah grinned. “Ooh, so I’ve turned you into a cuddle bug?”
“Just when it comes to you. Now eat your ice cream.”
Finally, the decadent dessert was gone. Winter took the bowl from her and set it on the coffee table, then continued to run her fingers through Hannah’s hair.
If only her friends could see them now! No one would ever believe how loving Winter could be. A long sigh escaped Hannah as her tension receded, and she cuddled back more fully against Winter’s chest.
Winter leaned her head over Hannah’s shoulder to see her face. “Does that feel good?”
Hannah used the opportunity to turn her head and brush her lips over Winter’s. “Very. Don’t stop.”
Winter made small circles along her scalp with her fingertips.
Hannah’s head lolled back against Winter’s shoulder, and her eyes drooped closed. Her thoughts drifted aimlessly—to her clients, to her mom…she would call her later to make sure she wasn’t overdoing it now that she was home and feeling better…then returned to Winter. “Can I ask you something?”
Winter stiffened behind her, even as she said, “Sure.”
Hannah caressed the arm wrapped around her. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I was wondering… You rarely talk about your mother. Is she…?”
“Dead?”
Hannah tried not to flinch at her bluntness. “Um, yeah.”
Winter stopped the head rub and settled her right arm around Hannah too. “No. She moved to Arizona at the beginning of the year, saying the weather in Portland was making her depressed. I haven’t talked to her since.”
The beginning of the year… So likely right around the time Jules had died. Hannah put her arms on top of Winter’s, keeping them wrapped tightly around herself. “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine going a week without talking to my mom. Not talking to her for seven months…”
“It’s okay. Not like we ever talked much,” Winter said, making it sound as if she were talking about her mail carrier. “Sometimes, I think she only needed me to keep Julian in her life, and now that he’s gone, we really have no reason to talk to each other anymore.”
Hannah hugged Winter’s arms to her more closely. Winter might sound emotionless and completely removed from the situation, but she knew her better than to believe her mother’s lack of interest wasn’t hurting her. “I’m sorry,” she repeated. “It’s her, not you. I hope you know that. If she doesn’t love you with every single cell in her body, it’s because she doesn’t have it in her, not because you’re not lovable.”
Winter stilled against her.
Had her passionate speech sounded too much like a declaration of love? It was getting harder every day to keep her feelings inside. Hannah swallowed but refused to take it back. Quickly, she added, “Jules too. It’s his deficit, not yours.”
Finally, Winter gave her a light squeeze. “Thank you. But I’m over it.”
Hannah didn’t quite believe that, but she respected that Winter didn’t want to dive deeper into the topic.
They cuddled in peaceful silence for a while, with Winter trailing her fingers through Hannah’s hair again and again. The pattern was so hypnotic that Hannah nearly dozed off twice, even though it was only half past nine.
The third time it happened, she loosened her grip on Winter’s arms and sat up. “Will you come to bed with me?”
Winter’s eyes widened. “I thought the plan was to wait?”
Hannah ducked her head. “To hold me,” she blurted. “I’m not up for changing the plan tonight. I have to turn my sexuality off for work, and after two clients like that, I don’t have the energy to find the on switch, no matter how hot I think you are. Plus I’m about to start my period, so I kinda feel like—”
“I’d love to,” Winter said.
Hannah blinked.
“Hold you,” Winter added with a smile, which then turned sheepish. “But do you think…?”
“Yeah?” Hannah realized she was holding her breath.
“…I could finish making some salad? I haven’t had dinner yet, and I’m starving.”
“Oh my God!” Hannah buried her face in her hands. “I’m the world’s worst girlfriend!”
Winter pulled her hands away, laughing, and tugged her up from the couch. “No, you aren’t. Come on. There’s a salad calling my name.”
Chapter 26
Traveling to an on-site meeting at the client’s location had always been a fun change of pace for Winter in the past. But that had been before Julian’s ridiculous trust conditions had made traveling anywhere outside the Portland metro area a logistical nightmare.
The client, a fast-growing educational tech company based in San Francisco, had wanted her on-site for two days, but Winter hadn’t been willing to risk staying away overnight, in case Brooke was sniffing around. So she had left home yesterday at five in the morning to catch a flight to San Francisco and had only gotten back after midnight, and today wouldn’t be any different.
It made her grumpier than an alligator with a bad tooth.
Unnecessarily complicating things had always pissed her off. It absolutely wasn’t because she had only nine days left until their ninety-two days were up and she wanted to spend every single minute with Hannah. Or because she missed her. Nope. Absolutely not. She had never missed anyone in her life. That would mean needing them, and she wasn’t quite ready to admit to that.
As soon as they took a short break at one o’clock, Winter did a lap around the client’s parking lot and called her.
“Hey, you,” Hannah’s warm voice drifted through the phone. “How are things going?”
Winter pressed the phone more firmly to her ear. “About as badly as yesterday. Complete waste of time.”
“Did they at least read the email you sent them last night?”
“Yeah, but that’s about the only progress we made. I just left a two-hour meeting with twelve people from four different departments, and we didn’t make it past the first slide. They discussed the color and placement of a button on their website for an hour and a half! Two of the guys looked like they were about to get into a fistfight, and I wasn’t that far from knocking a few heads together myself.” Winter growled. “It’s a complete and utter shit show.”
“So everyone’s a turd?”
Winter barked out a laugh at the unexpected joke. No one else had ever been able to make her laugh when she was pissed off. Maybe she did miss Hannah after all. “Pretty much.”
The sounds of the refrigerator opening and closing reverberated through the phone.
“Are you eating ice cream?” Winter asked. Now she wished even more she was home, holding Hannah on the couch.
“No, putting it away. I just got home from the store and stocked up on your favorite, in case you need it tonight.”
Winter sighed. “I’ll probably be home late. If we continue like this, I might not even make my flight.”
“Hey, don’t stress. I’ll wait up, no matter what, so we won’t be sleeping under a different roof.”
Winter glanced at her watch. The break time was up. “I need to get back. I’ll see you tonight. Unless I get arrested for murder.”
“You can do this. I’ll see you tonight. I love you.”
It sounded so natural, as if she had said it a thousand times before. For a moment, Winter thought she had misheard. No way would Hannah just say those three words as if they were no big deal…would she?
Hannah had gone very quiet. Had she ended the call already? Before Winter could check the screen, Hannah cleared her throat. “I shouldn’t have said that,” she whispered.
“Oh.” Winter dug the toes of her dress shoes into the gravel of the parking lot.
“I mean, on the phone and while you’re with a client. But”—Hannah’s voice became even quieter—“it’s true.”
“Oh.” Why couldn’t she say anything else? Like a real sentence? Something with a subject, a verb, and an object, for starters. I love you too might work. And she did love her. God, she really did. Deep down, she had known it for a while. But saying it… The thought of blurting out those three words made her throat tighten up.
The company’s CEO stepped outside and waved urgently, as if they were about to launch a space shuttle and she were the only available flight controller. “We’re ready for you.”
Winter clenched her fist around the phone hard. “I have to go. I… We’ll talk about it tonight, okay?”
“Yes, of course. Hang in there.” Hannah ended the call.
She had sounded normal. Not angry or upset.
But Winter knew she had hurt her. Why hadn’t she said it back?
Because you’re a chickenshit; that’s why.
Oh, great, there it was again—that annoying Brooke voice. Even more annoying was that inner Brooke was right. Unlike Hannah, she hadn’t had the courage to say it.
The CEO held the door open, waiting for her to head back into the building.
She walked in with him, but the phone in her pocket weighed heavier with every step. “You know what, Steve?” she said when they reached the meeting room. “I just got off the phone with my partner.”
“I didn’t know you had one. I thought it was just you.”
He was talking about her marketing consultant business, of course, assuming that’s what she had meant.
“It was just me so far, but…well, recently, I’ve been convinced that bringing on a partner makes sense. Complementary skill sets, shared workload, all of that, you know?”
He nodded.
“Anyway, my partner and I think it’s unethical to charge you for another eight-hour workday plus travel expenses when your team clearly isn’t ready.” Winter pointed at some of his employees who were immersed in a heated debate—probably about something ridiculous like the font for that button. “This would be way more efficient if I would create some visual mock-ups, send them to everyone, get some feedback, and then we meet again when there’s a consensus about the basics.”
“Uh, so…you’re leaving?”
Winter was already striding to her seat to collect her laptop and her bag. “Yes. You’ll have the mock-ups in your in-box by noon on Monday.” She had never done anything like that—just walked out of a meeting, but even if it meant losing this client, she couldn’t stay.
“All right. I, uh, guess that would work.”
Winter shook his hand, then strode out. She didn’t even wait until she reached her rental car before she pulled out her phone. For a moment, she was tempted to tap on Hannah’s name at the top of her favorites list.
No. If she managed to say it, she wanted to do it in person and see the look in Hannah’s eyes.
Thumbs flying, she tapped out a search for an earlier flight.
* * *
It had been five hours and fourteen minutes since she had accidentally blurted out “I love you” on the phone, and she hadn’t been able to think of anything else since then.
The awkward silence that had followed her blurted confession had cut deep, leaving a hole that neither of them seemed to know how to fill.
She knew—okay, more like hoped with all her heart—Winter hadn’t been silent because she didn’t return the sentiment. Winter’s feelings for her showed in every little and not so little thing she did for Hannah, from buying emergency sprinkles to following her to Sunriver when her mom had been sick.
Winter just hadn’t been ready to say it…maybe even to hear it, and Hannah could have kicked herself for rushing her like that. She never should have said it, especially at the worst possible moment, when Winter was in tough-businesswoman mode. But she had felt Winter’s frustration with the client and had tried to send something supportive through the phone—and “I love you” was what had slipped out.
God, she hoped she hadn’t made things awkward between them.
She clung to the thought that at least Winter wasn’t running away or avoiding her. “We’ll talk about it tonight,” she had said.
Hannah had run through possible scenarios for that conversation ever since but only succeeded in making herself as jittery as if she had drunk a gallon of Winter’s strongest espresso.
Finally, she grabbed her keys and wallet and headed to Sesame Donuts to get some of Winter’s favorites.
When she returned, she felt calmer. The fresh air and a chocolate-frosted doughnut with sprinkles had improved her mood. She set the box of doughnuts on the kitchen counter and washed bits of frosting off her hands at the sink. She shut off the tap and dried her hands, but weirdly, the sound of running water continued. It was coming from the bathroom.
Hannah frowned. Oh no. Was there a leak? Or had she been so out of it earlier that she’d left the shower on when she’d freshened up after her last client had left?
She tossed the dish towel onto the counter and rushed to the bathroom.
But before she could reach it, the patter of water stopped.
Was she imagining things now?
It couldn’t be Winter. She wouldn’t be home for at least another five or six hours.
She hesitated in front of the bathroom door. What? You think it’s an especially hygiene-conscious ghost? Mentally rolling her eyes at herself, she yanked the door open—and froze.
Winter was home.
And she was naked.
She stood on the bath mat with only a towel draped across her shoulders. A cloud of steam wafted around her like a perfectly planned film effect.
Hannah’s gaze trailed up long legs, lingered on a triangle of neatly trimmed, silvery-gray curls, then continued up Winter’s flat belly. The ends of the towel covered half of Winter’s small breasts, but what they revealed was enough to take her breath away.
She stood rooted to the spot as a sense of déjà vu overcame her. But this time, Winter wasn’t the roommate she could barely tolerate. She was the woman she was in love with.
Belatedly, she realized she was still staring and whirled around. “Sorry. I… W-what are you doing here?”
“Taking a shower.” Amusement colored Winter’s tone, but there was also something else there—insecurity, and Hannah could tell it wasn’t because she was basically naked.
“I could see that.” Inadvertently, her voice dipped into the husky porn-star register. She shook her head to clear the lusty haze from her brain. “No, I mean, why are you home so early?”
“You can turn around,” Winter said. “I’m decent.”
Slowly, Hannah turned.
Winter had wrapped herself in a bigger towel, which reached mid-thigh, but there was still a good deal of her long legs on display. A few droplets of water slid down her bare shoulders.
Hannah stared, transfixed. She was dimly aware that Winter was speaking, but the words didn’t register. Finally, she forced her attention back to Winter’s face so she could catch the rest of Winter’s explanation.
“…told the client I was going home and would be back once they get their shit together.”
Wow. Hannah couldn’t help admiring her. Confident, in-control Winter was sexy.
“But to be honest, that shit show wasn’t the reason I came home early.”
“No?”
Winter shook her head. “When you said that you, um, loved me…” A flush spread over her fair skin, and Hannah could track its path from the top of the towel to her hairline. “It took me by surprise.”
“I know I shouldn’t have. I—”
“Good surprise,” Winter added. “It’s just that no one has ever said that to me before, and I’ve certainly never said it to anyone…or imagined that I ever would. I thought love would make me weak. And I was right, because when you said it, you could have knocked me over with a feather.” She ran one hand through her wet hair. “Christ, I’m rambling.”
Hannah smiled and reached for her hand, careful to focus on Winter’s face so she wouldn’t be distracted. Vulnerable, rambling Winter was even sexier than confident Winter.
Winter swallowed. She captured Hannah’s gaze, her blue eyes blazing with intensity. “What I’m trying to say is… I love you too.”
The words blew Hannah away, making her soar higher than all the cuddle hormones in the world could. She swayed forward and launched herself into Winter’s arms.
Their lips met in an outburst of emotion, caressed each other, then parted.
A moan escaped Hannah, mingling with Winter’s, as their tongues explored.
Winter held her pressed against her towel-clad body with one arm, while she trailed her other hand up Hannah’s arm, along her shoulder, and over her neck until her fingertips touched her cheek. She kept them there as she deepened the kiss.
The tender contact made Hannah weak in the knees. She slid her fingers into Winter’s short, wet hair and pressed against her so tightly that she could feel both of their hearts thrumming urgently.
The heat of Winter’s nearly bare skin made her gasp into her mouth. She wanted to touch every inch of her. But not here. Reluctantly, she pulled back a few inches. “Winter…”
Winter leaned down and kissed a path up Hannah’s neck, sending ripples of pleasure down her body. “Hmm?”
Hannah arched her head back to give Winter space to explore. “Do you think…?”
Winter’s warm breath brushed her earlobe, then she nipped it.
Oh God. Hannah clutched her back with one hand, the other still in Winter’s hair. “Do you want to make love with me? In the bedroom?”
With a low moan, Winter pulled back. Hunger flared in her eyes, the wild, intense look gentled by the love Hannah could now see shining brightly. “Well,” she said with a rakish grin, tugged at the towel, and dropped it to her feet, “seeing as I’m already conveniently naked…”
Hannah stared at the newly bared skin, then couldn’t help laughing. Her chest felt as if it would burst with all the emotion if she didn’t show Winter exactly how she felt. She clasped her hand and led the way to Winter’s bedroom.
* * *
Winter had never been nervous when taking a woman to bed before. But now it was Hannah who led her toward the bedroom, and her body was vibrating with a mix of nerves and desire.
God, you’d think I’d never had sex.
