The second wives club, p.10
The Second Wives Club, page 10
“Hola!” trilled Julia, pushing her chair into the shade. She was paranoid about wrinkles, which was why she didn’t smoke. It was a dilemma, though. Ciggies staved off hunger pangs, so as far as she was concerned, they had a huge upside. “That’s Emilio rewarded. Bless him, he’s so small you can see his feet on his passport photo.”
Susan laughed and shook her head. “You’re incorrigible.” She looked at her watch. “So we’re just waiting for Fiona.”
“She’ll be here in a minute. I just saw her trying to park that Coke can on wheels she calls a car.”
“Don’t be such a snob,” Susan chided. “She and David aren’t loaded like you and James.”
“Oh, it’s not about money.” Julia waved at someone inside the restaurant. “If Fiona won the lottery, she’d still have something similar. She’s terribly practical like that, one of those ‘just as long as it gets me from A to B’ types. Whereas I like to go from A to B in style.”
“Easy to say when it’s not your money.” Susan was timid about many things, but she rarely shirked from taking Julia on.
“Darling, what’s his is mine, and what’s mine is mine too,” said Julia lightly, always happy to parody herself. “Besides, wives like me don’t come cheap.”
Susan raised her eyes heavenward. “Er, what do you do exactly?”
Julia looked surprised that she had to ask. “I’m the World Cup of trophy wives, and proud of it. I might make it look easy, but believe me, it’s bloody hard work keeping up the standards expected of me. Now up yours!”
Susan laughed out loud and shook her head in disbelief. Alison simply allowed herself a small smile, still a little unsure of her place in the group. But Julia wasn’t looking anyway. She was waving at Fiona, who was walking toward them.
“Sorry I’m late.” She looked flustered. “I couldn’t find a space.”
Julia arched a finely plucked eyebrow. “You should have just dumped it and bought a new one tomorrow.”
“Ha, ha.” Fiona poked out her tongue, then looked at the others. “Sorry, I’ll bet you’re all starving. Someone pass me a menu.”
Once everyone had placed their orders and the wine was poured, Fiona declared the meeting officially open.
“No more new members I note.” She smiled. “Still, it’s only been a week since the last get-together.”
“There nearly was.” Julia flicked her blond hair so it sat straight and smooth over each shoulder. “I met another second wife at the health club the other day.”
“Oh?” Fiona sipped her wine and closed her eyes in bliss at the taste. “And did you tell her about our meetings?”
“I did. But she said she’d have nothing to whine about because her first wife doesn’t cause her any trouble at all.”
The others looked momentarily shocked by this revelation, taken aback that there could be such a thing as a nonproblematic first wife.
“So I take it there were no children involved?” asked Susan.
Julia shook her head. “No. But mind you, there aren’t any children involved in my scenario either and look at the dreary schmuck I’m saddled with.”
“True.” Alison saw her chance to bond a little, and it worked. Julia rewarded her with a warm smile.
“So did she let you in on the secret of how to get to first-wife utopia?” asked Susan a little sarcastically.
Julia nodded, her mouth full of wine. “Yes. She said she killed her with kindness.”
“Huh?” It was a collective expression of bafflement.
“Apparently, when the marriage split up, they were determined to stay friends, and so the other one was often hovering around in the background.” Julia shifted her chair slightly so it was fully in the shade again. “So the second wife thought she could either get rattled or get clever. She chose the latter and never said one negative thing about the first wife. Not one thing. I mean, can you imagine that?”
They all shook their heads in agreement that, no, they couldn’t.
“She even invited her to dinner at their house, for God’s sake.”
Fiona winced. “Oooh, that’s a tall order. I’m not sure I could do that.”
“That’s what I thought too,” Julia agreed. “But her theory was that if you take away the friction, then there’s no need for subterfuge, and that means no danger or excitement. Voilà! It peters out.”
“And that’s what happened?” said Alison dubiously, feeling slightly nauseous at the thought of breaking bread with Sofia.
“Yep. In fact, she decided to move to France and start a new life. They severed all ties.” Julia stared dreamily into the distance. “What utter, utter bliss.”
“So when’s Deborah coming for dinner?” Fiona laughed, intending it as a joke.
But Julia remained serious. “You may mock, but that’s exactly what I’m thinking of doing. Well, that or taking her out somewhere, just the two of us. I’ve got to do something. James even rang her from New York to say he’d arrived safely, for fuck’s sake.”
“So please don’t tell me you’re actually going to try to bond with her?” said Susan derisively.
“No, I will have dinner with her purely so she can see for herself exactly what she’s up against. Once she realizes what a class act I am and how happy I make James, hopefully she’ll give up and bugger off. I’m going to show her that she has no effect on me whatsoever.”
Fiona made a small scoffing noise. “You’re going to lie, you mean?”
“Precisely.” Julia raised her glass in the air. “Here’s to new tactics.”
They all clinked their glasses together and took a swig.
“To new tactics,” parroted Fiona. “Though I’m not sure how they’ll help me with Jake. We had another incident this weekend.”
“God, what’s he done now?” said Julia. “Microwaved the dog?”
“We haven’t got a dog, but if we had, I’m sure that would be highly likely.” Fiona sighed. “No, this time he went missing.”
“Fabulous! Better that than moping around under your feet at home.” Julia, as ever, pulled no punches. The others offered more appropriate expressions of concern.
“Where did he go?” asked Susan, presuming from Fiona’s demeanor that he had eventually turned up safe and sound.
“He’d had an argument with his mother and stomped off to a friend’s house, where he proceeded to get plastered and fall into an alcoholic stupor on their sofa. Which is precisely what I guessed had happened when Belinda first rang in a state of panic.”
“But no one listened to you?” Alison sympathized, knowing how tough it was to make yourself heard when it came to stepchildren.
Fiona shook her head. “No. We’d had a lovely day out planned with Lily, and the whole thing went out of the window thanks to you know who. So, yes, I’d like to kill him, but with kindness? No, I was thinking of something a little more painful.”
Susan waved her fork from side to side, indicating that she would like to speak but that her jaw was temporarily paralyzed by lasagna.
“If, as you say, he’d had an argument with his mother, surely this is the perfect time to step forward to be his buddy, his confidante. You can let him know that, as his stepmum, you’re less controlling, less judgmental.”
The others nodded, Julia embellishing her agreement with a thumbs-up.
But Fiona looked doubtful. “The last time I saw Jake we actually came to blows because he nearly drowned Lily. Somehow I don’t think he’s going to fall for the hand of friendship routine, do you?”
“Bide your time,” Susan advised. “Don’t force it. An opportunity will present itself, and as long as you’re in that frame of mind, you can exploit it to your own ends.”
Fiona wrinkled her nose in disapproval. “I hope you don’t mean taking his side when he’s in the wrong—which, by the way, he usually is. That would affect my relationship with David.”
“Not taking his side as such. Just listen to his side of the story and don’t disagree, just stay quiet. That way, you’re helping Jake with his problems but not stepping on David’s or Belinda’s toes.”
“Hmmm, well, let’s see if an opportunity presents itself. But first things first, we have to start speaking again.”
Julia let out a loud snort. “God, what a lot of effort. And for what? So you can share cozy chats about Goth bands and pimple cures until he’s eighteen and then fucks off on a gap year? No thanks, I couldn’t be asked.”
Alison let out a snigger. She longed to be as liberated with her thoughts, but it just wasn’t in her nature.
“So how about you?” Fiona turned to Susan. “Did you survive your weekend with the dreaded Genevieve?”
Susan sucked in her cheeks and crossed her eyes as if breathing her last. “It was grim. This time she wasn’t even through the front door before she was finding fault. But I had a pleasant surprise and found an unlikely ally in Bill. We had a nice chat, and he told me I should stand up to her more.”
“He’s one to talk,” Julia scoffed. “He’s terrified of her himself, isn’t he?”
“Not terrified.” Fiona paused a moment for thought. “More apprehensive really. I think he just likes the quiet life. But anyway, she made some comment about how I shouldn’t give Ellie white bread, so I challenged her to make her tea and try to get some wholemeal down her.”
Even Julia, normally bored silly by children stories, looked expectant.
“And every last piece was refused. Some of it even landed in Genevieve’s lap!”
“Hoorah, attagirl!” Julia clapped her hands together in delight. “I’d have paid good money to see the old bag’s face.”
Susan frowned disapprovingly. “No, she’s not an old bag, merely a bereft mother who’s terrified of losing touch with the last little piece she has left of her daughter. Bill told me as much.”
They were all quiet for a moment or two, contemplating what Susan had said.
“So why don’t you take her out for dinner on her own and reassure her?” Alison broke the silence.
“I’ve thought about it, but I don’t think it would work. She’s very prickly when she thinks I’m trying to, as she sees it, interfere in anything to do with her and Ellie.”
Silence again, then Fiona sat upright, poking a finger in the air like a child desperate to answer a question. “I know. How about a different version of the ‘kill her with kindness’ philosophy? In this case, maybe a better way to approach the problem would be for you to lean on her a bit more?”
“In what way?”
“Well, rather than challenging her to do things or making it look as though you’re allowing her time with her granddaughter, you pretend that you could do with a break and need her help.”
Alison was nodding furiously in agreement. “That could really work.”
Scooping froth from her cappuccino, Susan sucked thoughtfully on her spoon. She was about to speak, but Fiona started bouncing up and down in her chair and distracted her.
“Oooh, I know. Even better!” she squeaked. “How is Ellie about staying away from home?”
Susan shrugged. “I don’t know. Nick has never allowed it. He worries she might wake up in the middle of the night and be frightened.”
“Okay, here’s what you do.” Fiona was on a roll now. “Persuade Nick that Ellie is now old enough to try a sleepover and suggest that she stay with Genevieve and Bill for just one night. A Saturday would be ideal. Then you and Nick spend the afternoon there with her before sneaking off to a nearby hotel for the night.
“That way, Nick feels reassured that he’s nearby if there’s a problem, Genevieve gets to feel wanted, and you two can have a night of unbridled lust without worrying that your shrieks of pleasure might wake Ellie in the next room.” She flopped back in her chair as if she’d just announced a cure for the common cold. “I’m a bloody genius.”
Susan laughed. “Well, I’m not sure about the night of unbridled lust. Uninterrupted sleep sounds much more appealing. But what the hell, I’ll give it a try.”
Julia stretched out her long legs and yawned. “Well, my, my, aren’t we making progress today? Sometimes a little bit of lateral thinking is so much smarter than all that tacky, low-rent revenge nonsense. Shall we have a group hug?”
Fiona and Susan knew she was taking the piss, but Alison looked momentarily perplexed until Julia winked at her.
“Don’t worry, honey, just my little joke,” she drawled. “So, three down, one to go. How’s your giant thorn?”
Alison sighed, twirling a piece of hair round her finger. Her usually sharp cut looked a little less groomed today. “Same as ever really. She’s demanding yet more money, which Luca says he’s going to pay or she’ll stop him seeing the boys…and I went to yet another dinner with friends on my own because she rang up just beforehand claiming that Paolo had appendicitis.”
“And didn’t he?” asked Susan.
“He had a tummyache, that’s all. Luca said it was easily something she could have dealt with herself, but she wanted to make a point. Which she managed to do with consummate ease, of course.”
Julia frowned and made a clucking noise with her tongue. “Maybe you need to take a leaf out of my book.”
Susan shot her a look of disbelief. “What, spend all day at the hair salon?”
Julia didn’t dignify her remark with a response, shifting her body slightly so she faced Alison and blocked Susan. “You should try to befriend Sofia, get her on your side.”
Alison’s expression suggested that she had a fear of flying and the Wright brothers had just asked her to join them for a loop-the-loop. “I’m not sure that would work,” she said hesitantly, anxious not to upset Julia while she was showing such an interest in her life.
Julia tutted. “Well, you won’t know if you don’t try, will you? After all, it doesn’t sound like things could be any worse. The only way is up.”
“Have you ever met her?” Susan’s eyes were wide with anticipation.
“Only when she crashed our wedding, so, no, not really.”
“Do you know much about her?” asked Fiona.
“I know she’s Italian. Proper Italian, born there. She came here with Luca when he got a job. They got married, had their children very quickly, and, er, that’s it.”
Julia made a sucking noise with her teeth. “Fuck, that’s a right old bloody millstone you’ve got there. You’ll never get rid of that one.”
Susan punched her lightly on the arm. “You really are a help. That’s made Alison feel so much better.”
“Well, it’s true,” Julia sniffed. “She has no life of her own, so she cuckoos yours.”
Fiona spluttered her coffee. “Hardly! If anything, Alison is the cuckoo in Sofia’s nest.” She looked at Alison apologetically. “Sorry, but it’s true. We’re all guilty of that to a certain extent.”
“Sorry?” Julia rapped her knuckles on the side of her head. “I could have sworn this was the Second Wives Club, a welcome respite from the sanctimonious and moral high ground occupied by the first lot?”
Fiona’s brow furrowed slightly. “It is. But we shouldn’t completely bury our heads in the sand and pretend we’re blameless. Only Susan can claim that.”
They all looked at Susan, who blushed as if she’d just been announced homecoming queen. She picked up the bottle of sparkling water and clutched it to her chest.
“I’d like to dedicate this award to my parents for all their support, and I’d like to put an end to world poverty,” she opined, pretending to wipe a tear from the corner of her eye.
They all laughed and the mood lightened again. Only Alison returned to looking serious.
“So do you honestly think I should try to talk to Sofia?” She addressed the remark to Julia, who nodded enthusiastically.
“Absolutely. What have you got to lose?”
Alison looked uncertain. “Luca perhaps?”
“Nonsense,” Julia clucked. “And even if, by some remote chance, you did lose him over it, then he wasn’t the man you thought he was. I’m sure that, however it turns out, he’ll simply see it as you doing your best to try to make things work.”
Alison tried to smile to show her gratitude, but her eyes were still full of nervous apprehension.
Susan leaned toward her conspiratorially. “So how do you think you’ll approach her?”
Shrugging, Alison sighed. “Dunno, but it will have to be the element of surprise because there’s absolutely no way she’ll agree to meet me.”
Susan raised an eyebrow. “What are you going to do? Jump out from behind the frozen peas at her local supermarket?”
“I’d wait a long time,” said Alison ruefully. “She does her shopping over the Internet and has it delivered. I’ve seen the credit-card bills.” She rubbed her eyes, sore from the bright sun. “Don’t worry, I’ll think of something.”
“Well!” Fiona clapped her hands together. “Something tells me the next meeting is going to be a very interesting one indeed! I’m going to be all loved up with Jake, Susan and Genevieve will be swapping cake recipes, and Alison and Julia will be best buddies with the first wives.”
“Christ,” said Julia. “You’re a bigger optimist than a banjo player with a pager.” She took a sip of water. “Or failing that, Jake will be in foster care, Susan will be doing time for first-degree murder, and Alison and I will be in the ER having ice picks removed from our foreheads. Only time will tell.”
sofia so bad
Alison paused on the corner of the street, glancing cautiously down toward the house.
It was an unremarkable 1930s two-story with a small, neat garden accessed via a little wooden gate, and the front windows were shielded by plain white net curtains. It was impossible to tell whether anyone was home.
A woman walking her dog strolled past and glanced back over her shoulder, clearly suspicious as to why Alison was lurking around and showing particular interest in one house. Alison smiled reassuringly at her and started to walk in the direction of the property, trying to ignore the feeling of nausea welling inside her throat. This had to be done, and if she didn’t do it now, she knew she never would.
