Jeff ernos greatest hits, p.51
Jeff Erno's Greatest Hits, page 51
“You gonna tell ’em about us?”
Josh sighed. “I’m going to tell them about me,” he said, “and they probably will ask me if there is anyone….”
When Josh didn’t finish his sentence, Rex rephrased it for him. “They might ask if you have a boyfriend.”
“And I do, don’t I?”
“Josh, I know we’ve been together only a month, but yeah, I think so.”
“And how do you feel about me telling them?”
Rex didn’t immediately respond. Finally he took a deep breath. “You know, that first night, when we danced together at the bar….”
“And you kissed me.” Josh smiled.
“And I kissed you, and you kissed me, yes. Well, when I let you in the door, all I could think of was one thing. When I first laid eyes on you, you reminded me of someone I had known. There’s only been one other person in my life.”
“One other person that you were in love with?”
Rex nodded. “You look a little bit like him, or at least I thought so that night.”
“What happened?” Josh asked.
“His name was Andrew, and we were together almost a year. I was pretty crazy about him, and I thought he felt the same. We almost moved in together. Well, actually we pretty much had. I was at his apartment more than I was at home.
“I told my mama and daddy ’bout him, and about myself.”
“And?”
“And it didn’t go so well,” Rex said.
“And that’s why you two broke up?”
This was so difficult to talk about. Rex didn’t want to ruin the best night he’d ever had with Josh by talking about his ex-boyfriend the following morning. He had to tell him everything, though. “No,” Rex shook his head slightly, “but Daddy didn’t take it well, like I said, and it did put a strain on our relationship. After the accident, I had to deal with everything. I had to take care of Ty and help Daddy with the bar.”
“He should have understood that,” Josh said.
“I can’t blame him, really. It’s a lot to ask of anyone. It’s a lot to ask of you. Most people, gay or straight, would have reservations about a relationship with someone who already has a kid. And Andrew was young. Christ, we both were. He didn’t want the responsibility of raising a baby, and to make matters worse, my father couldn’t stand Andrew.”
“Rex, I’m so sorry,” Josh said. “You know what? I had feelings like that too, to be honest. That first week, right after we met, I didn’t know how serious I was going to allow this to become. I have my education to focus on, and a child is a big responsibility.”
“And now?”
“And now I love Ty. Rex, oh my God, that little guy has just rocked my world.”
Rex couldn’t help but grin. “Yeah, he does that to me too—every day.”
“Rex, Andrew was the loser here.” His words were emphatic. Powerful.
“Thank you for saying that,” Rex said quietly.
“It’s true, Rex! You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and yes, it’s still early. I’m not saying we should move in together. I’m not saying I can ever be any kind of a real parent to Ty, or that you’d ever even want me to try filling that sort of role.”
“Josh, Ty loves you, and he already calls you his ‘uncle’,” Rex said.
“My point is that I see my future a little differently now. I mean, it’s still scary. I don’t know what the hell’s gonna happen when I go back to school next month. Then when I graduate, I’m going to have to move to where I can find a job. I know it’s not smart for me to be thinking about this so seriously. But I am.”
“Well, let me just say this,” Rex said. “I don’t know your parents, and I have no idea how they will take the news, but you have to think about the possibility that it may not go well.”
“I’ll admit I’m nervous, but I think deep down, they already know.”
“And if it doesn’t go well, you have to ask yourself how you’re going to be able to handle it. Also, how are your uncle and aunt going to handle it when they find out?”
Josh took a swig of his bottled water before answering. “Oh, I don’t ever plan to tell them.”
“But if you tell your parents, there is a chance your uncle could find out.”
“Well, if they find out, they find out,” Josh said. “The worst thing they could do is kick me out, and I’d have to find a place to stay for a month.”
“You know I’m not worried about that,” Rex said. “You could always stay with us.”
As Rex glanced over at him, he noticed Josh was misty-eyed again.
“Baby, I’m sorry,” Rex said, squeezing his hand again.
“Really, I’m not usually this emotional. Everything is going to be fine. If they accept it and give me their support, we’ll all be happier. If not, it still will be a huge burden off my shoulders. I’m tired of keeping this secret from them.”
“I can go with you if you want,” Rex offered.
“No.” Josh shook his head. “I need to have this conversation with them alone. You and Ty can go with me on the next visit.”
“Okay, I understand, but if you want me to drive you, I can do that.”
“I’ll be fine,” Josh said. “It’s Ty’s birthday weekend, and you promised him you’d be there when he woke up this morning. Plus I’m a big boy. I can handle it.”
Rex laughed. “A big boy in more ways than one.”
“Ya know, I can’t believe you said I remind you of your ex!” Josh said teasingly.
Rex gulped. Busted.
“I guess that Andrew was quite the hottie, then,” Josh said.
Chapter Ten
SO MUCH had happened in one short month. Josh’s life would be forever changed. His entire life had been about one thing and one thing alone—his career. No, it was more than just a career. It was his passion. His calling.
Despite how much fulfillment his profession provided, he suddenly realized that there could be more in his life. Previously he’d regarded the entire periphery as a series of distractions or obstacles that could stand in his way and possibly divert him from completing his goal. He now understood that a relationship with someone he loved was not a burden but rather an enhancement.
It was all he could think of on the two-hour drive to Covington. He thought of how beautiful the evening before had been, his romantic night with Rex. A huge part of the reason he loved Rex so much was because he was such a down-to-earth guy—an ordinary Joe, a small-town Southern cowboy. But he sure did clean up real nice. Last night Rex had been no hick. He was a hot stud, and he sure did get Josh’s motor going.
And if there were any soul on earth who had lit up Josh’s life more than little Ty, he couldn’t rightly say who that might be. Ty just amazed him, the way he was so smart for his age. He was so direct and honest, and his sincerity made him absolutely precious. Did this sort of purity exist in all little children, or was there something special about this little man?
Covington was on the border, right close to Cincinnati, Ohio, and Josh was going to stop at the big Toys “R” Us store there to get Ty his birthday presents. First, though, he had to go see his folks. He’d called and told them he was on his way. Knowing his mama, she’d have an entire feast prepared for him when he got there. He wondered if she’d have homemade potato salad. It’d been so long since he’d had her potato salad that his mouth watered in anticipation as he thought of it.
Josh had been home on spring break back in April, but he hadn’t had time when school got out in May to go visit his parents. He’d gone straight to Carlisle, and this would be the first he’d seen his folks in about three months.
His mama took care of his pets while he was at school, and by rights they were actually hers now. He wouldn’t dream of taking the dog away from her that’d been in the family for the past eleven years. Her name was Daisy. Josh’s other dog, Dixie, had died before Josh had started college. There also was his big orange tabby named Maurice.
When Josh pulled into the yard, it was Daisy who greeted him first. She was a chocolate Lab. He squatted down to pet her, and when he looked up, Mama was standing on the porch, smiling.
“There he is,” she said, “there’s my baby.”
Josh smiled and stepped quickly over to her. She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a tight bear hug. “Mercy,” she cried, “you’re wasting away! Josh, you’re not eating healthy. You’re skin and bones.”
“Mama, I am eating healthy,” he protested, “which is why I’m slender, not fat.”
“Oh, it’s so good to see you! Your daddy will be back in a few minutes. I sent him down to the store.”
“I hope not on my account,” Josh said.
“No, on my account. I needed some baking soda for my biscuits. I wish you’d give me a little bit more warning before you decide to show up so I can be prepared.”
“That’s why I don’t,” Josh said, “because you’d have this whole house so filled with food by the time I got here that there’d be nothing for me to do but eat.”
“Come on in,” she said, laughing. She still had her arm around him, and slid her hand down to the small of his back, ushering him inside. “I’ll get you some iced tea.”
Josh stepped into the familiar kitchen, and of course nothing had changed. It never changed. If he were to leave and come back ten years from now, it’d be exactly as he remembered it from the day he left. There were two pies on the countertop, and he could smell something delicious cooking in the oven.
“Smells good,” he said.
“Pot roast,” she said. “Have a seat.”
She poured them each a glass of sweet tea and took a seat across from him at the table. “How’s it going in Carlisle? You likin’ it at the clinic?”
Josh nodded. “I love it. I really do, but we’ve been quite busy. I never woulda thought that little town would have such a large pet population. And l really like the two people I work with. The assistant, Dana, is one of my best friends now.”
“Oh?” she said, her voice rising about an octave.
“We’re just friends,” Josh said, laughing.
“Well, how you getting along over at Harold’s?”
“Oh, Uncle Harold is great, but Aunt Kathy… well, that’s another story.”
His mother nodded. “She’s always been a bit uppity, but she’s been good for Harold.”
“Yeah, I think she keeps him organized.”
They chatted for a few minutes while they waited for Josh’s dad to get back. When he did come in, he walked over to Josh’s chair and placed his hand on Josh’s shoulder. Josh stood up, turning toward him, and gave him a half hug. It was the way his daddy was. He gave man hugs, the kind where you just embrace with one arm and pound the palm of your hand firmly against the other guy’s shoulder.
The three of them chatted a bit about the summer weather, about Josh’s new job, and about how he had done in school the previous semester.
When there was a break in the conversation, Josh looked at each of them, took a deep breath, and then plowed forward. “Mama and Daddy, there’s a reason why I drove up here today,” he said. “Something important I gotta talk to you about.”
His father had a serious look on his face. He was in his midfifties, a laborer all his life, and the creases in his forehead were pronounced, more so when he was thoughtful. “What is it, son?” he asked. Josh noticed how his mama and daddy looked at each other first and then directly at him.
Josh sighed. “Well, it’s nothing bad. At least I hope you don’t think of it that way. Truth is, I met someone.”
His father continued to scowl. “You didn’t get some girl in trouble, did ya?”
“William!” his mother said, scolding her husband.
Josh laughed. “No, nothing like that. Oh man, how do I say this?”
“Just say it, dear,” his mother said, placing her hand gently on his forearm.
“Well,” he said, hesitating a beat. “Well, I’m gay.” He’d finally said it!
His mother didn’t remove her hand but instead gently squeezed his arm. “It’s okay, dear. We expected to have this conversation someday.”
Josh looked at his dad, who was staring down at the table in front of him.
“Dad, are you okay?”
His father looked up to make direct eye contact. “Son, nothing will change our love for you.”
“And this young man… your friend that you met… who is he?” his mother asked.
“His name’s Rex,” Josh said, smiling broadly. “Oh, Mama, you’d like him so much. He’s twenty-eight, and he owns his own business. Has his own house. And… well, he has a little boy.”
“So he’s been married?” she asked.
Josh shook his head. “No, he adopted his nephew, Tyler, and Ty is just adorable. He’s six. Gonna be seven on Monday, but we’re having a big party for him tomorrow.”
Josh reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. “Here’s a picture of them,” Josh said. He handed it first to his mother.
“Oh, he’s a little angel,” she said. “And how does he get along with you?”
“Last night I tucked him in and read him his bedtime story, and he told me he loves me. He’s just so adorable. But he can be a little pistol sometimes too.”
“Oh, I bet,” his mother said.
From that point forward, the conversation seemed to be more about Rex and Ty than it was about Josh’s sexual orientation. Josh had feared that they wouldn’t be accepting. He’d envisioned the conversation turning into a debate on religion or morality. Instead it had been beautiful. After a few moments, his father was even asking questions about Rex.
It was interesting to Josh that his dad seemed more concerned about who Rex was, whether or not he was a stand-up guy, while his mom was more interested in little Ty.
Dinner was enormous, as expected. A pot roast with vegetables, mashed potatoes and gravy, homemade biscuits, and two types of pie for dessert—pecan and strawberry rhubarb. There was no potato salad, but Josh barely noticed. He took a nap in his bedroom after dinner. The room was exactly as he’d left it. That evening his mother rode with him into Cincinnati to shop for Ty’s birthday gifts.
When Josh headed back to Carlisle the next morning, it was with a wind in his sail. He felt so free and unburdened and wished he’d had the courage to come out to his folks a long time ago. Everything was going to work out. Everything was going to be just wonderful.
WHEN JOSH walked into the house, several people he did not know were milling around. Jenny spotted him and rushed over. Taking the gifts he was carrying, she set them on a card table that had been set up in the living room.
“Josh,” she said, “Ty’s been asking about you.”
“Aw, really? Where is he?”
“He’s with the other kids in the backyard, and I think Rex is out there too.”
On the way, Josh stopped to say hi to Emmy and Everet, who were chatting in the kitchen. He glanced over at the kitchen table and noticed a sheet cake decorated with a Transformers theme. He stepped closer to look at it.
“Oh, Ty’s gonna love this. Has he seen it yet?”
“No, Jen just brought it in. She had to wait ’til he was outside to sneak it in from the garage.”
Josh laughed. “Nice.”
There were about ten kids playing in the backyard, and Josh only recognized two of them—Ty and Skylar. Rex was sitting in a chair on the corner of the deck talking to a young woman Josh didn’t know. When Rex saw Josh, he stood up.
“Hey,” he said, smiling broadly. “How was the drive?” Josh had already called him the night before to tell him how everything had gone with his parents.
“It was fine… great, actually.” Josh wanted to kiss him, but instead he stepped beside Rex and brushed his fingers discreetly across Rex’s lower back.
“Josh, this is Taiesha, Skylar’s mom.”
“Hi there,” Josh said as he extended his hand and smiled warmly.
“I’ve heard so much about you already,” she said, “and all good.”
“Oh, really?” Josh asked suspiciously.
“Yes, Tyler talks about you all the time.”
“Oh, okay. I thought maybe this one here was giving up secrets about me.” He thumbed his fist toward Rex.
“Well, he might have said a thing or two,” she said, winking.
Suddenly Tyler spotted him. “Josh! Josh!” he shouted, running across the yard and quickly ascending the two steps that led up to the deck. “You’ve been missing my party. Where have you been?”
“Sorry, Ty. Got here as soon as I could.” He scooped Tyler up in his arms and hugged him affectionately. “Happy birthday!”
“My birthday is tomorrow,” he said, “but today is my party.”
The sliding glass door opened, and Jenny stepped out onto the deck. “Rex, have you got the grill fired up?” she asked. “We’re gonna have a brood of rug rats ready for some burgers and dogs before long.”
“I’m on it,” Rex said. He looked over to Josh.
“I’ll help,” he said.
Skylar was in the yard calling for Ty. “I’ve gotta go,” he said.
“You have fun, kiddo,” Josh said, ruffling his hair affectionately. He followed Jen inside, and she opened the fridge to pull out Tupperware containers, which she handed to him.
“These are the burgers, and here’s the hot dogs. Bring ’em on into the dining room when they’re ready. I’m setting up the rest of the food there. After we eat, we’ll surprise Ty with his cake.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Josh said.
Rex was ready for him when Josh returned with the hot dogs. It was a large two-tiered, stainless steel propane grill. “Wow,” Josh said, “I love your grill.”
“And I love your meat,” Rex replied in a hushed tone.
“I know you do,” Josh said, laughing. He stepped a little closer and glanced around to make sure no one was within earshot. “Where do you want me to stick it?”
“Gotta get the hot dog nice and hot before you slide it in the buns.”
“Top or bottom?” Josh continued with the double entendre. He pointed to the racks on the grill.
