All the wright moves, p.15
All the Wright Moves, page 15
She scampered off toward the register, and I headed down the aisles, feeling a little bit foolish. I wasn’t sure what to say to any of the plants. Did talking to them really help?
I tried it on a few plants and felt even more foolish. A couple looked at me oddly when they found me trying to say hello to a fern. I hurried away, wondering if this was some alarming prank Nora had laid on me. But she hadn’t come back. So, I continued to walk the shelving.
Then, I came in front of a small potted cactus. It was spiky and imperfect. The lone cactus on the shelf.
“All alone, too?” I asked it.
A prickly loner felt all too familiar.
I picked up the cactus and waited to see if it would talk back, as Nora had mentioned. I felt dumb, but somehow, it almost felt like it did. I tucked it under my arm, careful not to prick myself on one of its spikes, and then walked to the register.
Nora stood, speaking animatedly with an older woman with round cheeks and a kind smile. “Oh, here he is. Did you find something?”
I held up the cactus. “This one.”
Nora’s lips quirked up. “He’s adorable.”
“Good choice,” the woman said.
“West, this is Apple. Apple, Weston Wright.”
“So good to meet you,” Apple said pleasantly. “It’s nice to meet the man that my Nora has been gushing about.”
I flushed slightly at that comment. “Nice to meet you, ma’am.”
“Ma’am,” Apple said, glancing at Nora. “I like this one.”
Nora grinned. “Me too.”
“Ah, young love,” she mused, taking the cactus out of my arm.
I sputtered at that word. Love. Nora met my eyes, and then we both quickly looked away. We hadn’t said that word. I mean…I was leaving. I was going back to LA. That word would only ruin everything we had right now. It didn’t matter how I felt. Not truly. Because even if nothing worked out with Campbell and Cosmere, then I was still going to take the producing job.
“Apple,” Nora admonished, “we’re just roommates.”
“Bah!” she said. “You young people and your labels. Back in my day, if you looked at each other the way that you two do, you’d be past dating and halfway to engaged.”
Nora laughed. “That’s not really how it’s done anymore.”
“So I’ve heard. It sounds exhausting and complicated.”
Couldn’t fault her there. It was complicated.
Before Nora could say anything else, her phone started to ring. She looked down at it with alarm. “Uh, excuse me for a minute.”
She took a few steps away, but I didn’t miss the name she uttered incredulously. “Tamara?”
“She’s special, you know?” Apple said as she handed me the receipt for my new cactus.
“I do know.”
Apple arched an eyebrow. “Do you?”
“Yes.”
“Because it looks like you’re going to let the best thing to happen to you slip through your fingers like the last idiot who hurt her.”
I gaped at her. “I promise you, ma’am, I have no intention of hurting her.”
She guffawed at me. “No one intends to hurt someone. They just do it.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. Guilt settled into the pit of my stomach. I had something special here, but I had something special in LA, too. I didn’t see a way that I could possibly have both.
“You let that girl know how you feel before it’s too late,” Apple added.
I gulped and nodded. Before it was too late. When was that? Fuck.
Nora’s voice rose. “I don’t have to listen to this!”
Then, she hung up and strode back toward me like a thundercloud. “Let’s go.”
“What happened?”
She shook her head and controlled her expression enough to give Apple a hug and tell her good-bye. By the time we got back to her truck, she had clouded over again.
“Nora,” I said, grabbing her arm. “Talk to me.”
She sighed heavily, deflating like a balloon. “August broke off the engagement.”
I froze at those words. The careful delivery, as if she had no emotions about them. But I could hear how brittle she’d sounded underneath it. I hadn’t heard that from her in so long. I hated the way it had come out.
I wanted to punch August so bad right now. He’d better not fucking think this was his way back in because that wasn’t fucking happening.
“Really?”
“Yes, Tamara called to congratulate me.”
“Whatever for?”
I held my breath, feeling like I’d created a prophecy and it was about to come true.
She met my gaze with a look, like she was drowning. “Because apparently, he told her he still loved me.”
24
Nora
August still loved me.
Ice snapped under my feet, dragging me beneath a freezing pond. I felt chilled to the bone at those words.
All that work I’d done to get over him. All that time I’d wanted nothing more than to not feel like this anymore. Everything I’d been through because of him. And now—now—he claimed to still love me?
“And…how do you feel about that?” West asked carefully.
So carefully. Too carefully.
I wanted to reassure him. I wanted to tell him that I felt nothing about it. But it would be a lie. I’d thought I’d moved on completely, but first love stuck with you. I knew what August and I had was never ever going to be the same. How could I forgive him for what he’d done? Saying he was in love with me didn’t flip a switch.
I shook my head and looked away. “I don’t know.”
“Nora…”
He reached for me, and I let him drag me against him. Tears came to my eyes, unbidden. I hated it. I hated them. I’d told myself I was done crying over August. I was so far past done.
“It’s okay,” West said. “It must be confusing.”
“I wanted him to love me, to choose me for so long, West.”
His body tensed at those words. How hard it must be for him to comfort me when I was upset about another man. But still, he said, “It’s okay. Your feelings are real.”
“No,” I said, pulling back and swiping at my tears. “That’s not what I mean. I don’t still love him. I just…I loved him for so long. But he didn’t choose me. He didn’t love me when I needed him to.”
“No, he didn’t,” West agreed.
I straightened and hardened, as if I were shoring up all the cracks in my foundation. “He doesn’t get to choose to miraculously love me again. That’s not how it works. He cheated on me. He proposed to someone else.”
“And then he saw us together at the soccer game.”
My face lit up with recognition. “You don’t think…”
“That he was jealous? Yeah, I do,” West said confidently.
“He wouldn’t break off his engagement because he saw us kissing.”
“Looks like he just did.”
My head swam. That was absurd. All this time, he’d wanted to have his cake and eat it too. He wanted me to pine after him. The way I always returned his feverish texts and met him in the park and played his little game. But when I stopped playing, he decided he wanted me back? It was too coincidental not to be true, and somehow, I found it unfathomable.
He could have had me whenever he wanted me for almost an entire year after I caught him cheating. Now, when he couldn’t have me, he wanted me?
“That’s terrible. I almost feel bad for Tamara.”
West snorted. “Don’t. She went into all of this willingly.”
“I guess she did.”
In fact, I’d always suspected that Tamara had been the aggressor. She’d had little remorse through so much of it. She shoved it in my face that they were engaged. She’d won. But still, it couldn’t have felt good to hear that. August had hurt us both.
“I just…fuck, I don’t know.” I ran a hand back through my hair. “I feel like I want to run away.”
“Then, let’s run away.”
I looked up at him warily. “What do you mean?”
“I mean exactly what I said. You need to get out of Lubbock. I’m going crazy, pacing and waiting for Campbell to get back. Let’s go do something. What’s something you’ve always wanted to do?”
I shrugged. “Paris.”
He laughed. “Okay, maybe something a little closer?”
“Well, I’ve always wanted to go to White Sands.”
“What’s that?”
“A national park with white sand dunes. You can sled and hike there. A friend went in college and came back, raving that it was like touching the stars when you were out all alone on the dunes. I’ve always wanted that. But it’s, like, five hours away, and I have to work tomorrow.”
“Call out.”
My eyebrows hit my forehead. “You’re serious?”
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
I opened my mouth, ready with a quick retort. I couldn’t possibly run away in the middle of the week. I had weddings this weekend to deal with. I always had weddings to deal with. But maybe this was what I needed.
“Okay.”
Less than an hour later, we were heading west, on our way to New Mexico. It was about a five-hour drive, and I snagged a BnB in Alamogordo, the nearest city outside of the dunes. I rearranged my schedule for tomorrow while we drove, moving some meetings to next week, which I was sure I’d hate later. But for now, it felt worth it.
I didn’t know why I hadn’t anticipated it, but August started calling that night.
West glanced at the name on the phone and pursed his lips. “Are you going to answer that?”
“No,” I said automatically.
In fact, I put the phone on silent and didn’t look at it the rest of the night. We made use of the double bed, unable to hold back our laughter at the loud creaking noises it made. And then woke up bright and early the next morning, taking his Subaru to the entrance of the park.
We bought sleds and wax at the visitors center and drove into the sea of white dunes. It wasn’t actually sand even though it looked like it. The sand was gypsum, which was used commercially in drywall. Thankfully, the gypsum here hadn’t been stripped clear, and it was still a beautiful nature preserve. As if we were standing in an endless desert in the middle of New Mexico.
We took our sleds up to the top of an empty dune, waxed it to high heaven, and then proceeded to flop around uselessly.
I laughed myself into hysterics when West made it halfway down and then rolled through the sand face-first. “Oh my God, do that again!”
“I don’t know how you’re doing it,” he grumbled.
“The trick is to lay on your back, so there’s more surface area. Your butt just digs into the sand and slows you down.”
He eyed me warily as we trudged back up the dune. “Are you calling my butt fat?”
I snorted. “Hardly.” I slapped my own ass. “I’ve got junk in my trunk.”
He threw his sled to the ground and picked me up by my ass. I wrapped my arms and legs around him and giggled. We spun in circles until we were dizzy and collapsed into the sand.
West leaned over me, brushing sand off my cheek. “I love this freckle,” he said, touching a spot next to my lips.
“Yeah?”
“It’s my favorite. Well, you have one right here,” he said, pointing to my pelvis. “I like to taste that one right before I taste you.”
“Filthy.”
He didn’t respond; he just kissed me.
Our tongues met and twined, drawing out the gesture until we were both breathing heavy—and not from trekking up the dunes. Eventually, a family came near us, and we broke apart.
“Let’s try again,” I said. “You’re going to get this.”
We set up our sleds on the pathways we’d made, and then together, we pushed off. Both of us flew down the slopes, screaming and whooping as we went.
West crashed at the end, going tumbling. But then he jumped up, holding his sled above his head. “I did it! Let’s go again!”
I laughed but couldn’t resist his enthusiasm. We ran up and slid down that mountain over and over until we were exhausted and everyone had left us alone again.
Then, we lay side by side at the top of the dune, our fingers interlocked, staring up at the sun. I knew that we had to go back soon. It was a five-hour drive back to Lubbock, and I couldn’t play hooky twice this week. But I wasn’t ready to let this feeling go.
I wanted to hold on to it gently, like carrying an egg on a spoon.
“It is like touching the stars,” West said.
“Like there’s no one else in the whole world.”
“Just one.”
He brought my hand to his and kissed it. My stomach did a somersault. Apple had said we were young love. That it was all too complicated for her. But here, out in the open, it felt so simple.
“West,” I said, turning to face him.
His eyes swept to mine. “Yeah?”
I wanted to tell him what I’d been feeling for a long time. That this wasn’t just a fling, that it was so much more to me. That I wanted everything with him. Every silent moment, every stolen star.
But when I looked at him, my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth like peanut butter. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t break the spell.
Instead, I kissed him and let him roll me onto my back. The words unspoken as I gave myself to him.
25
Weston
Getting away for even a day was exactly what Nora had needed. Exactly what I’d needed, too. I’d been obsessing about the band. While out on White Sands, I hadn’t thought about it at all. No, it was hard to think of anything but Nora when I was alone with her.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. Fuck. What was I even doing?
I was at my piano again two days later when a knock sounded on the door. Nora had a wedding today. She wouldn’t be free until late. Whitt was at work…on a Saturday, and Harley was apparently busy. I suspected she was dating someone, and that was why I hadn’t seen much of her. I had no idea who would be at my door.
When I opened it, Campbell Abbey was standing in the doorway.
“Hey, man! I didn’t know you were back from LA.”
“I just got back in. You busy?” Campbell asked.
“Nah, messing around with a new song on the piano.”
Campbell’s eyes brightened. “A new song? Can I hear?”
Oh shit. Yeah, hadn’t thought about that one. “If you want. It’s not done.”
“You’ve seen my half-formed shit. Time for you to do the same.”
I laughed; I couldn’t help it. Campbell was always like that. So self-effacing. As if it weren’t strange that we’d become such close friends so fast. I wanted to say he was like this with everyone, but we’d just clicked. Which was why Nora had thought I should just fucking talk to him about the band stuff. Maybe I should finally do that.
“Yeah, sure. Come in. I’ll play it for you.”
“I got a better idea. Let’s lay it down at the studio.”
“Here?” I asked in surprise.
“Yeah. Our best material came out of those sessions.”
He wasn’t wrong, but we hadn’t been working on my songs. I’d been matching his material. I didn’t know why it felt like a huge difference, but it did.
But it was Campbell. How could I say no?
“Cool.”
I’d talk to him about the band while recording. He was always in his best mood when we were there. It was long overdue anyway.
I slid my wallet into my back pocket, grabbed my phone, and headed out to Campbell’s Range Rover. He turned on Foo Fighters as we drove toward downtown.
“How was LA?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Same old, same old.”
“Yeah.”
“Good to be back in Lubbock. Probably the last time for a while.”
“Why is that?”
“Album release, press tour, tour,” he said, ticking them off on his fingers.
I shot a glance at him, wondering if he was going to say anything else, but he just hummed along to the lyrics. As if none of that bothered him.
“How does Blaire feel about that?”
He grinned. “She’s coming with me.”
My stomach knotted. How easy it was to have someone who could pick up and go with you anywhere in the world.
“She’s going to leave Lubbock?”
“Not forever. She’d miss it too much. So would I actually. Just long-distance is hard. Nearly impossible really, and we can both fly back and forth whenever we want. It’ll be nice to have her with me.”
I bet it would. I clenched my hand into a fist and looked out the window as Lubbock passed me by. Lubbock wasn’t even my home. I’d grown up in Seattle. I was much more used to a perpetual drizzle than the dry, dusty climate. But home didn’t have to be a place. It was people, and my people were here.
We pulled into the parking lot of LBK Studios. Campbell reached into the trunk and pulled out his Fender. I held the door for him and stepped inside. We’d worked here on the first and last song we recorded for the new album. It was cozy compared to the behemoth of the studios in LA. Made me feel like coming home.
“I’ll take the back booth,” I told him. “I like that piano the best.”
“Sounds good.”
But when I headed toward the back booth, voices made my feet slow. Campbell grinned at me and kept walking.
“Are you expecting anyone else?” I asked.
“Something like that.”
I warily followed behind him. What was going on? Why did I feel like I was walking into a carefully laid trap?
“You made it!” Santi’s voice boomed before I even turned the corner.
I furrowed my brow and hurried forward to see the entire band sitting in the sound booth, beaming at me. Campbell had just clapped hands with Santi. Viv’s hair was now a vibrant hot pink, and her nails were crazy long and mint green. I had no idea how she strummed a bass with them. Yorke was the same as always—taciturn and silent. He tipped his head at me.
