Tough guy, p.20
Tough Guy, page 20
“Lou.” I shook my head at her inexperience. “You stop when you see a rope swing or when you see another group and you want to say hi or when someone falls out and needs to be recovered. You know, that kind of stuff.”
“Recovered?” she repeated. “Like a dead body?”
I laughed. “No, but someone is definitely going to fall out and need saving, and my money is on Kyle being first. The shithead can’t drink and float. Worse than drinking and driving for him.”
“Please tell me he doesn’t do that.” Her brow creased in a wince.
“Not since he ran through Mr. Tanner’s fence and all the pigs got out. Spent the entire next day rounding up hogs while hungover. Never done it since.”
She scrunched up her face. “I guess that’s relieving.”
“Come on,” I said excitedly. “We float!” I pulled her up out of bed, lifting her into my arms with ease and carrying her to the closet so she could get ready. Lou waved me off as I put her down and trotted downstairs to get breakfast ready.
I didn’t spend every night at Lou’s house, which I guess was my house. It didn’t feel that way anymore, though. The place was hers, and that felt right these days. I was sleeping a whole hell of a lot less than I used to, and damn if it wasn’t catching up to me, but I still spent half of my nights at home in my apartment. At first it was hard—being in the farmhouse and not feeling bad about it, but as the weeks went on it got a little easier. I’d been so afraid of losing Lou too that I hadn’t wanted to give in to loving her, but once she said she was staying, it felt like my heart tore open. Felt like I always had a smile on my face now.
The guilt was still there, and when I wasn’t with Lou, it was easy to get lost in it, but I was working on it. One day, I had the thought that maybe Annie sent Lou to me. Made sure that she came passing through Townsville and brought us together because she knew that we’d be good for each other. Annie was a good woman with a heart of gold. If anyone was going to send Lou my way, it would have been her.
Bean came barreling into the kitchen, sitting at the table and eating her cereal quickly while running through a list of plans she had for her day with my mama. Lou came down a short while later, hurrying Bean along and kissing me goodbye.
“I’ll be back in fifteen minutes.”
I groaned. “Lou. Fifteen?”
“Fine, thirteen if I boot her out of the car without coming to a complete stop.”
Bean furrowed her eyebrows. “Hey,” she whined. Lou kissed her head and leaned down to whisper something in her ear. Bean grinned and nodded up at her mama.
I watched them shuffle out the door and hurried back to my apartment to grab a few things before loading up the truck and waiting for Lou to get back. It didn’t take me long, and I plopped down on the porch swing as I waited. I was eager to get going. Floating the river was one of my favorite end of summer events. My siblings would be there, Logan too, but inevitably we’d see dozens of other friends along the way. It was practically a tradition to float the river on the weekend after the Townsville End of Summer Good Times Bar-B-Que.
I pushed the swing anxiously, checking the time and cursing my mama for holding Lou up. I should have dropped Bean myself. Tough Guy may fight Todd Anderson, but there was no contending with my mama when she wanted your ear.
My phone began ringing, and I half expected to see Lou’s number pop up, but it wasn’t hers. It was an unknown caller.
“Hello?”
There was a shuffling sound, like the person on the other end was moving things around, then the clearing of a throat.
“Is this Bennet Carlson?” a man asked.
“It is,” I confirmed.
Another pause, then he spoke finally. “My name is Sergeant Michael Holcomb with the Chicago PD. Can we talk?”
I watched Lou’s Subaru pull into the driveway. Watched her hurry out of the car. Heard her apologizing for getting held up with my mama. Heard her ask me if I was okay. But I didn’t feel like I was there with her. Not really.
“I’m fine,” I said, my voice not sounding like my own.
“She’s gotten to you, too, hasn’t she, Bennet?”
His voice played on repeat and I shook my head, trying to get it out, but I couldn’t.
“She’s not who you think she is, Bennet, and protecting her is pointless.”
“Bennet?” Lou asked, concern on her face. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look pale. Are you feeling sick?”
“I’m fine,” I repeated. “Let’s go.” I walked to my truck, getting in and starting it, not noticing that Lou hadn’t even closed her door before I backed out.
“Hey,” she cried, slamming the door. “Bennet–”
“Sorry,” I mumbled.
“You’re just excited, huh?” She buckled herself in and smoothed her hands over her cut-off shorts, looking at me.
I nodded, looking straight ahead, not at her. Anywhere but her. I could sense her eyes on me for the drive, but I said nothing. Instead, I spent the hour thinking about his phone call.
“My name is Sergeant Michael Holcomb with the Chicago PD. Can we talk?” he’d asked. “I’m calling about an ongoing investigation regarding a woman going by the name Emmylou McPherson.”
I gripped the phone tighter. “What’s this investigation regarding?” It’d been less than a minute on the phone with the man, but he was giving me a strange feeling. One I couldn’t identify, but I didn’t like it.
“That’s a confidential matter, Mr. Carlson, but we need to know if Ms. McPherson is living at 43 Woodward Lane. Did you allow her access to your premise, and is she currently living there?”
My gut was telling me it wasn’t right. Something wasn’t right.
“Is she in some kind of trouble? Did she do something?”
There was a sigh on the other end. “Mr. Carlson, I can’t give you information about an ongoing investigation, but I can tell you it’s important we get confirmation of her whereabouts and whether she is still at that address.”
Why would a Sergeant in Chicago be calling about Lou? Wouldn’t that be state jurisdiction? If it was a federal matter, then the FBI would investigate, not the PD, and certainly not an outside state.
“Is this related to a federal offense? Shouldn’t the local PD be calling me?”
There was a pause. “This is a matter related to an occurrence in Chicago. Can you confirm please if Ms. McPherson is currently at 43 Woodward Lane?”
I had no reason not to believe that man. No reason to lie to him or deny anything, but he rang every alarm bell in me and if there was one thing I’d learned in my time at war, it was to trust your gut.
“I’m sorry. I can’t say that she’s there,” I said flatly.
“You didn’t rent the property to her?” he asked.
“My sister moved in,” I lied. “Tabitha Carlson. I sent Ms. McPherson on her way after she couldn’t provide an employment history.”
“Ms. McPherson is wanted for questioning in an investigation, and harboring her or obstructing the investigation could result in severe penalties for you, Mr. Carlson,” he warned. I could hear the anger building in his voice, simmering under the surface. This was a man who wasn’t used to being told no.
“Yeah, well, I’ve got nothing to give you, Sergeant. All the best with your investigation.” I went to hang up, but the clipped tone stopped me.
“She’s gotten to you, too, hasn’t she, Bennet?”
My blood ran cold. Who the fuck is this guy?
He gave a quiet laugh, though he sounded anything but amused. “She’ll do that. Pretty girls can do that, can’t they? She’s not who you think she is, Bennet, and protecting her is pointless.”
I said nothing, feeling like I was going to snap the phone in half with the grip I had on it.
“You’re not the first, you know? Ask her about Brian Wilkson. Or maybe Tyler Higgins. As a matter of fact, ask her about that little girl that’s with her. She still has her, doesn’t she?” He chuckled. “I told you she’s not who you think she is. She doesn’t need your protection. She preys on it. Help me to help you.”
I swallowed thickly, my head feeling disconnected from my body.
“You’re not going to be the last.” He exhaled, and I heard a slight whistle through his nose. “I’ve seen your record, Bennet. You’re a goddamn hero, and me and my boys on the squad thank you for your service. You didn’t make all of those sacrifices, only to become a victim. You may think you’re an expert at dismantling explosives, but Emmy is the bomb you never saw coming.”
Emmy. This was personal for him. I took a deep breath. Perspective. Keep perspective. This is personal. He will tell you whatever he thinks will rattle you. I closed my eyes, steadying my breath and bringing my heart rate back to normal.
“Yeah, I’m sorry I can’t help you. Sounds like she’s a real threat. You’re welcome to get a warrant and come talk to me. Until then, fuck off.” I hung up, shoving my phone into my pocket and hanging my head in my hands.
What the fuck was that?
“Bennet?” Lou said, her voice raised. “Bennet?” She shook my shoulder.
“Huh?”
Lou shook her head, a look of confusion on her face. “You missed the turn.”
She was right. I’d missed the turnoff for the riverbank launch point, lost in thought. I signaled and pulled over, preparing to turn around. Lou put her hand on my arm.
“Are you sure you’re okay, Bennet? You’re not acting like yourself,” she said with a frown.
I may not be acting like myself, but who the hell are you?
“We float!” Kyle shouted, beer in hand as he toasted the group. “We float like we’ve never floated before.”
There were cheers and whoops, someone whistled, and people began peeling clothes off. Logan finished inflating Tabby’s float and tossed it to the bank of the river next to his, working on the float for the cooler next. He glanced up at me and gave me a look. What the fuck? He was asking. I recognized that look.
He nodded about ten feet away where Tabby stood huddled with Daphne and Lou, Lou whispering something as she waved her arms around animatedly. If I wasn’t aware it was my mood influencing this indignation, then I probably would have laughed. She looked adorable, with her wide eyes and incredulity.
I shrugged, turning away from him. If anyone was going to call bullshit on me, it was Logan.
I had half a mind to pack my shit up and go home. Maybe someone else could take Lou out, but there was no way I could escape. Besides, as confused as I was feeling, I couldn’t leave Lou. When we had time alone, I would talk to her. There had to be an explanation.
“Jimmy!” Kyle shouted, pounding his fists on his chest. “We float!”
Jimmy walked down the small hill from the parking lot, three women flanking him as they carried inner tubes and towels. I didn’t recognize the women he was with, and if I had to guess, I’d say they were from a neighboring town. They were definitely Jimmy's type, clad in tiny bikinis and bronze skin.
Jimmy waved his hand at Kyle. “We float,” he mumbled with a grin. “Kelsie, Stachia, and Trinity.” He pointed at the three women with him. Everyone said hello, making introductions.
“We float… together, ladies,” Kyle said, interrupting and wrapping his arms around two of the women. They giggled and followed him down to the water. Jimmy shook his head and laughed, joining me and pointing at Kyle.
“What the hell? Already poached two of my three dates.”
I shrugged. “He’ll get drunk and piss himself and you’ll have all three yet again.”
Jimmy patted my back. “Excellent. Don’t you fucking steal my last one.”
I looked at Lou, who stood talking with the woman I thought was named Stachia. Lou looked back at me, smiling and waving briefly. Jimmy followed my stare and smiled. “Otherwise I’m going to steal yours.”
“Oh, fuck off,” I said, pushing him playfully.
He shook his head, still looking at Lou. “Something about that one,” he said.
“You’re not the first, you know?”
I swallowed. “Yeah,” I agreed. “Excuse me.” I stepped away to pull Lou aside for a minute. I felt like I was going to burst. I needed to talk to her alone.
“Hey,” she said in a breathy voice when I approached. “We float.” She blushed. “I feel so dumb saying that. Why is it that Kyle can say it and sound like a king?”
“Sometimes you just pretend to be what you want to be, and people believe it.” I spit the words without thinking, cringing immediately. What the fuck?
Lou gave me a funny look and nodded her head. “Yeah, I suppose. Fake it till you make it, right?”
“Ask her about Brian Wilkson. Or maybe Tyler Higgins.”
Was she faking it with me?
“Lou–” I started, but Daphne came rolling up, interrupting.
“Why aren’t you in your suit?” She tugged on the oversized shirt Lou wore, covering herself. “We’re getting in the water, Lou, not getting into bed. Take off that nightgown and get in!”
Lou tugged on her shirt nervously. “Oh, it’s fine. My skin is so sensitive to the sun.”
“Let me lotion you up,” Kyle offered, passing by. He grinned at me and I flipped him off.
Daphne rolled her eyes. “He’s impossible,” she mumbled, watching Kyle as he escorted one of Jimmy’s friends back over to us.
“Guys, Trinity and I are going to float together. Trinity, this is my baby sister, Daphne. She’s wearing a bikini and I’m pleading with her to cover up.” Daphne stuck her tongue out at him.
“She looks good in one, babe,” Trinity said.
Kyle ignored her. “This is my big brother Bennet. He’s going to take off his shirt and you’re going to see that I’m the impressive one.” Kyle flexed a decent bicep, but it didn’t stack up. “That’s Lou,” he said, pointing to her. “She’s like my sister, but not really my sister, so it’s not creepy that I think about her sometimes when I pleasure myself.”
“Goddamnit, Kyle.” I stepped toward him and Lou put her hands on my chest and pushed me back.
“He’s just messing with you,” she said. “Slow down, Bennet.”
My breathing was heavy, and I hadn’t realized how angry I’d gotten, or how fast, until I saw a genuine look of fear in Kyle’s eyes. He’d always joked inappropriately about my girlfriends. This wasn’t anything new, and it wasn’t anything nefarious.
“It’s disrespectful,” I spat.
Lou shook her head. “Maybe, but it doesn’t bother me. Come on. We float,” she mumbled, taking my hand and squeezing it. I nodded, following her.
We grabbed our floats and Lou pulled her shirt off, looking around self-consciously. There was a whoop from Kyle, but he shut his mouth as soon as I glared at him.
“That suit looks great on you, Lou,” Daphne said, passing by. “Fits perfectly.” Daphne wasn’t wrong. It was a simple black string bikini, a triangle top that left little to the imagination. I wasn’t a naturally possessive man, but part of me wished she’d put her shirt back on as I caught sight of Jimmy and Logan looking her over.
Assholes.
Daphne shook her head. “Girl. I haven’t worn that suit since before Johnny. I tell you, these stretch marks aren’t easy to hide.” She patted her high-waisted bottoms and laughed. “But look at you, darlin’. Not a mark on you. You don’t even look like you had a baby!”
“Ask her about that little girl that’s with her. She still has her, doesn’t she?”
I felt my stomach roil. What had he meant?
Lou tugged at my shirt and pulled it over my head. “We float,” she said, this time with more confidence.
Trinity looked at me, her jaw dropping. “Between you and that other tall drink of iced tea, I think I’m going to faint.”
Kyle pretended to pout. “Logan took his cousin to prom, Jimmy lives with his grandmama, and Bennet finally got laid for the first time in half a decade. I’m the only normal person here.”
Trinity frowned. “Didn’t you say you’re a part-time karate teacher?”
Kyle nodded. “At the Y, yes. I stand by my statement.”
Lou burst into laughter and pushed her float into the river, falling back into it with a splash and screeching at the cold of the river. I pushed mine out after her, everyone else getting in at various points. We floated along lazily, stopping at rope swings, breaking on the shore to toast with other river residents that day, and inevitably, to fish Kyle out after he flipped his inner tube on a rough patch of river and couldn’t get himself back up.
It was cutting it close to get Lou back in time for work when we’d dragged ourselves out of the water. It’d been a slow float, but I spent most of it swimming in my head.
“Hey.” Logan pulled me aside as I deflated the inner tubes and packed them in the back of my truck. “You okay, Ben? I don’t think I saw you smile once and you’re usually grinning like a labrador on these floats. You look…” He shook his head and shrugged. “Not like yourself, even when you’re in one of your grumpy fucking moods. Everything okay?”
I looked over at Lou, laughing and chatting with the girls like she was one of them. She is one of them, asshole. I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes as I rubbed my temple. “Everything’s fine.”
Logan looked over at Lou, frowning. “Did she dump you? She doesn’t look upset at all, but you look miserable.”
Thanks.
He shook his head, not taking his eyes off Lou, which made me hate him a little. That bikini wasn’t doing much to help. I clenched my jaw tighter.
“You can talk to me, you know?” he said, finally looking back at me.
“I know.”
Logan eyed me before sighing and patting my back, walking away. “She loves you, Bennet. Don’t fuck it up.”
Did she love me?
Lou waved at me again, pulling her hand to shield her face as she rolled her eyes playfully and nodded toward Trinity.
“You’re not going to be the last.”
It was the only thought going through my head on the drive home, and I didn’t say a thing to stop it.
“Did I do something wrong?”
