Personal the complete.., p.48
Personal - The Complete Series, page 48
Colin let out a patient sigh. Oh fuck. He lowered his voice. “Matt, you’ve just said exactly why things didn’t work out between us. It took us three years together to work out that we were too different. And you’re right about our friends not gelling.” He gave Matt a fond look. “It was fine for a while, but nothing’s changed since we split. It wouldn’t work.”
“But I’ve grown since then,” Matt protested. “You’re older too. I think we can make this work.” His face took on that stubborn expression Colin recalled so clearly.
Tell him.
Colin smiled. “Matt, I’m seeing someone.”
Matt’s face registered shock for all of a few seconds before he straightened it. “Since when?”
“A couple of weeks.”
Matt huffed. “Well, it’s not like you’re engaged or something.”
It was then that Colin had definitely had enough.
“One thing you may have forgotten about me,” he said, getting to his feet. Matt stared up at him, mouth open. “When I’m in a relationship? I give it one hundred percent. And the one thing I certainly don’t do is play around.” He picked up his pint glass and drained the remainder of his lager. After placing the glass on the table, he smiled politely. “And now we’re done. It was nice seeing you again, Matt. Enjoy being back in London. I don’t expect our paths will cross much.” Colin picked up his jacket and strode toward the door.
Matt reached out a hand to stop him. “Look, this didn’t go like I’d intended.”
Colin shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. It’s done now. Bye, Matt.”
And with that he walked out onto the street without a single backward glance. The one thought in his head was that this shit had lost him an evening with Ed.
Ed was channel-hopping in the hope of finding something, anything, to arouse his interest, but so far, zilch. It wasn’t as if he wanted to watch TV in the first place, but it was better than staring at his four walls and wishing he was with Col.
That was when it hit him.
Just what is Colin to me?
Colin had gone from being a mate, to them being mates who fucked, to…something else.
But what, exactly?
There was no getting away from one thing—the sex was amazing. Their appetites seemed to be in synch. Or is this just how gay guys are? All Ed knew was, if he was at Colin’s and he wanted to fuck, chances were Colin was up for it. Every fucking time. And Colin’s stamina matched his own. They usually fucked for hours.
Ed smiled to himself. Are there any downsides to fuckin’ a guy?
If there were, he had yet to find them. But it still left him with that burning question—just what was Colin to him? He knew when the thought had first occurred to him—Sunday afternoon when they’d gone for a walk on the beach. Fair enough, it had been a gorgeous day for a stroll. But walking along a beach with a guy had this whole...romantic edge to it in Ed’s mind.
That gave him pause for thought. Romantic?
Ed wasn’t romantic. He just wasn’t.
But was Colin? Ed didn’t have a clue. And that was another thing—what was he to Colin?
An’ do I wanna know this?
Now there was something that got his heart racing.
The phone rang, and he almost jumped out of his skin. When he saw Trevor’s name, his heart sank. Oh fuck, what now?
“Trev, whass’ up?”
“Listen, Ed, I need you to do me a favour, if you can.”
Ed straightened up on the sofa. “Go for it.”
“You know I made Rod scrum-half, to replace Murphy? Well, it seems he’s not feeling very confident about his passing abilities. So I wondered, seeing as we don’t have practice on Saturday, if you could meet up with him at the club and do a little practice? Maybe work on his passes, really put him through his paces?”
Ed considered the request. If he arranged to meet Rod early enough, he’d still have the rest of the weekend with Colin—provided that Col wanted to spend some time with him, of course.
“Yeah, sure,” he said after a moment. “Text me ’is number an’ I’ll give ’im a call to set it up.”
“Aw, thanks, Ed, I appreciate this.” Trevor hung up.
Ed smiled to himself. Rod seemed like a good kid, really keen and with the makings of a damn good player. And if working out with him helped the team to win more games, then it would be a good use of his time.
He glanced at his watch and decided to see if Colin was finished with work.
“Hi.” Ed loved the warm tone of Colin’s voice, like he was really pleased to hear him. “You home?”
“Yeah.” Ed sprawled out on the sofa, making himself comfortable. “You all done with work now?”
“Yes. Just walked through the door, actually.” Ed heard the sound of Colin’s keys as he dropped them onto the glass-topped table in his hallway. There was a moment’s pause. “I missed you tonight.”
Colin’s words created a feeling of well-being inside him. “Yeah, missed you too.” Ed cleared his throat. It felt awkward to voice his feelings outright. “Listen, I know there’s no club practice on Saturday, but I’m hopin’ to meet up with Rod for some extra practice, yeah?”
Another pause. “Oh?” Ed couldn’t gauge Colin’s reaction. His tone gave nothing away.
“Yeah, seems like Rod’s feelin’ a bit nervous ’bout takin’ over Murphy’s spot, so I’m gonna work with ’im on ’is passes.” He waited, but nothing else was forthcoming from Colin. “We can still meet up afterwards, if you like?”
A second or two later Colin responded. “Yeah, that would be good. Hey, I’ve got an idea. Would you like to go out to dinner on Saturday night? Just a bite to eat, nothing like the last place, honest.” He chuckled.
Ed groaned. “Oh God. Was it that obvious that I felt bloody awkward bein’ there?” An’ there was me thinkin’ I’d done so well, too.
“Oh, not that much.” There was something in Colin’s voice that told Ed he was smiling as he said it. Ed could picture that smile, those bright eyes. “So we on then?”
“Sure.” Ed liked the sound of that.
“And after dinner maybe you could come back to my place.”
Ed cackled. “Ooh, would that be where I get me dessert?” His dick stiffened at the thought of the two of them getting down ‘n’ dirty in Colin’s bed.
Colin laughed. “Oh, count on it.”
Ed grinned. Oh, he was up for that.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“Well, that was great.” Ed rubbed his belly, a contented smile on his face as they exited the pub.
Colin had to laugh. “Now, why do I get the feeling you were much happier having steak and chips in a pub than dining out in a fancy restaurant?” They walked at a leisurely pace along the street, heading back to the car park where Ed had left the Harley locked up.
Ed guffawed. “’Cause you know me too well, mate, thass’ why.” He grinned. “So we still on for dessert at yours, then?” There was a wicked gleam in his eye.
Colin lifted his eyebrows and moved closer, his voice dropping low. “If ‘dessert’ is a euphemism for several hours of hot sex, then yes.” Ed’s eyes lit up and Colin grinned. God, he wanted Ed in the worst way.
It’s no use. I have to face facts. I am addicted to Ed Fellows.
And the remedy? Yeah, Colin knew what that was—and he intended to take his medicine tonight and most of Sunday. Since their stay in Brighton, Ed was happy to take it in turns bottoming, and Colin was delighted to oblige.
Right now Saturday morning felt like a lifetime ago, since he’d walked out onto the club rugby field to find Ed—and had seen him throw his arm around Rod’s shoulders as they’d walked off the field together. He couldn’t account for the surge of panic which had set his heart pounding. Okay, so Rod was young and sexy as fuck. That didn’t mean Ed would be interested in him—right?
Colin had to keep reminding himself that Ed was on a voyage of discovery, as far as his sexuality was concerned. Maybe he’d already given some thought to experimenting with others, which might include a younger, handsome, virile guy like Rod.
And didn’t that thought send Colin into a tailspin?
He gave himself a mental swift kick up the backside. Ed had shown no inclination to do any such thing, of course. It was just Colin’s imagination working overtime—he hoped.
As they neared the car park, Ed’s phone rang. His face registered surprise.
“Rod, whassup, mate?”
Colin stiffened. Why on earth would Rod be calling? He’d been with Ed that morning. He watched Ed’s expression carefully.
“What—now? Really?” Ed screwed up his face. “Now’s not so good, to be honest. Could it wait ’til—” His words trailed off as he listened intently. His expression grew concerned. “Oh, I see.” He sighed. “Okay, well, ’ang on a minute.” He pressed the phone against his chest and gazed at Colin, brow furrowed. “Rod wants to meet up for a chat with me.”
Colin came to a halt. “Now?” Oh, you have got to be kidding. Talking to Rod—instead of fucking?
“Yeah.” Give him his due, Ed looked really contrite about it. “Look, would you mind if we ’ad a change of plan? It sounds like it’s important.” Ed met his gaze. “Yeah, I know, I know, it’s bloody awful timin’. I’ll try to come round your place when we’re finished, yeah?”
He sounded so apologetic that Colin felt bad for thinking badly of him. “That’s fine. You go meet with Rod. I’ll see you whenever you can get to the apartment, okay?”
Ed gave him a grateful smile. “Thanks, mate. Listen, you okay gettin’ ’ome? Or shall I drop you off first?”
Colin waved his hand. “No, you go see Rod. Besides, the sooner you guys finish up talking, the quicker you’ll be with me, right?” He pasted on a bright, cheerful smile.
“Right.” Ed squeezed his arm briefly and then spoke into the phone. “I’m comin’ round, okay, mate? Be there as soon as I can.” Ed pocketed his phone, nodded toward Colin and then took off, heading toward where the Harley was stowed. Colin watched him clamber aboard the bike, helmet secured. Ed gave him a cheery wave as he rode out of the car park and along the street. Colin walked slowly to the nearest taxi rank and got in a black cab.
All the way back to the apartment, his mind could only focus on one thing.
Will Ed want to explore his sexuality? Or would I be enough for him?
He thought of Ed meeting up with Rod—and he didn’t like the answer.
It was nearly eight o’clock when he walked into the hallway of his apartment building. The night doorman got up to greet him.
“Mr. Reynolds, there’s been a delivery for you.” The glint in Ian’s eye was intriguing.
“Oh?” Colin wasn’t expecting anything. He stared, wide-eyed, as Ian went behind the desk and brought out a huge bouquet of red roses. What the…..
“Aww, someone loves you,” Ian said with a goofy grin.
Colin took the flowers and thanked Ian. Once inside the elevator, he picked out the small white envelope from amid the beautiful blooms and took out the stiff card. He let out a groan when he read the wording on it.
I meant every word. Please think about it.
I love you, always.
Matt.
Colin scowled. Fuck—that’s all I need right now.
He let himself into the apartment, dropped the flowers onto the coffee table and went into his bedroom to change into his sweats and a T-shirt. When he came back into the lounge, he regarded the roses with a sigh, before taking them into the kitchen to find a vase.
“It’s not your fault the guy who sent you is a conniving little shit,” he told the flowers as he arranged them in water. Then he burst out laughing. “That’s it. I’ve finally flipped. I’m talking to roses.”
Still smiling, he walked back into the lounge and placed them on the coffee table. The card lay with its envelope on the floor where it had fallen, and Colin picked it up and placed it face down next to the vase.
He stretched out on the sofa and aimed the remote at the TV. No sooner had the picture appeared than his phone chimed. He smiled when he saw Ed’s name.
“Don’t tell me you’re finished already,” he said, nestling back into the plump cushions. He couldn’t help feeling relieved. Ed had only been away from him for about an hour. Definitely not long enough to get up to anything. Then he berated himself for even thinking like that.
“Col, can I ask you a favour?” Ed spoke rapidly.
“Sure.”
“Can I bring Rod over to your place? We need to talk to you.”
Colin’s mouth was suddenly bone dry. “What about?”
“Look, it’ll be easier if I explain when I get there, okay?”
Colin’s heart raced. All of a sudden he had a terrible idea he knew where Ed was going with this. Oh God, please let me be wrong. But he couldn’t refuse him.
“That’s okay. Come round, both of you.” He did his best to keep his voice from cracking.
“Aw, thanks. You’re a real mate,” Ed said warmly. “Be there as fast as we can.” And then he was gone.
Colin dropped the phone as if it burned his fingers. In his befuddled brain it all made sense.
Ed’s getting to see what’s it’s like to have guys want him. Rod clearly wants him. He’s approached Ed with the idea. And now Ed wants more. God, he might want a threesome.
The thought of sharing Ed made him feel sick.
I don’t think I can do that. In fact, I’m bloody sure I can’t.
Colin did. Not. Share. Never had. It just wasn’t in him.
He switched off the TV and sat there, staring at the rug. He’d know soon enough.
About thirty minutes later the intercom buzzed, and Colin roused himself to get up and let them in. He opened the door and listened as the elevator whirred quietly. Ed was first out, followed by Rod who looked distinctly nervous.
“Come on in.” Colin ushered them through into the lounge and gestured for Rod to take off his denim jacket.
Rod glanced at his surroundings, gaze darting everywhere.
“Sit down, please,” Colin told him.
Rod gave him a grateful look and sat on the sofa, perched awkwardly on the edge of the seat cushion. Ed gave Colin a smile, which faltered when he caught sight of the roses. Ed said nothing, but he pressed his lips together and then sat next to Rod, patting his knee.
Colin took the armchair. “Okay, so what’s so important that you couldn’t tell me over the phone?” He tried to ignore the lump in his throat, not to mention the rolling in the pit of his stomach.
Ed gave Rod a glance, and Rod nodded. His pale face seemed strained.
Ed sighed. “Rod came to ask me advice, an’ I didn’t think I could ’elp ’him. I think he assumed I ’ad a lot more experience. And then I thought of you.” His eyes met Colin’s. “See, Rod’s only just out at ’ome, and today he got a bit upset. He ’ad this massive row with ’is brother about ’im comin’ out, and Rod didn’t know ’ow to ’andle it.”
“I’m sorry for disturbing you both like this,” Rod interjected, “but I didn’t have anyone else I could turn to. I don’t know any gay guys, apart from you two.” He looked absolutely miserable.
Two emotions warred inside Colin. His heart went out to the young man. Colin remembered only too well those first days when he’d finally plucked up the courage to tell someone about his sexuality.
And Colin’s face tingled as he recalled his assumptions. What an idiot I was to even entertain thoughts like that about Ed. The memory of his foolish suppositions made his cheeks burn hotter.
He put aside his feelings of self-disgust and turned his attention to Rod.
“I know it feels difficult right now,” he said soothingly, “but it will get better, honest.” He smiled at Rod. “And although it was clearly a shock to your brother, he’ll come around. Are the two of you close?”
Rod nodded. “I couldn’t believe it when he reacted like that.”
Colin got up from his armchair. “I think I’ll make us some coffee—which will make one of us very happy”—he caught Ed’s eye and gave a half-grin—“and then we can have a chat about it.”
Rod let out a relieved sigh. “Thanks.”
Colin went into the kitchen and partially closed the door behind him. He placed his hands flat on the kitchen table and took a long, steadying breath.
How could I doubt Ed? Don’t I know him by now?
The incident had left him shaken. Ed had done nothing to warrant Colin’s mistrust. It was his own lack of faith in Ed that had set the ball rolling. Colin straightened and caught sight of himself in the small mirror on the windowsill.
If you’re serious about wanting a relationship with him, then you’d better start believing in him, he told himself sternly.
When he felt calmer, he put the coffee on and when it was ready, took it through to his guests. The three men chatted for about an hour, and Colin was gratified to see that Rod calmed down a lot. Finally, Rod stood up to leave.
“Thank you so much, both of you,” he said with a gentle smile. “I really appreciate you taking time away from your evening together to give me some advice.”
“You sure I can’t give you a lift to your place?” Ed asked.
Colin had to smile. His Ed was a big-hearted teddy-bear.
Then he stopped. His Ed?
Rod shook his head. “Thanks, but there’s a Tube station just up the road. Besides, I’ve taken up enough of your time.”
Colin showed him to the door and gave him a quick hug. “If you need to ask about anything, you know where to find me now.”
Rod’s face glowed. “You two are the nicest guys I’ve ever met.” He smiled and then went for the elevator.
And didn’t that heap coals onto Colin’s guilty conscience?
He closed the front door and went through into the lounge—and stopped dead.
Ed was reading the card.
He jerked his head up as Colin entered the room. For a moment he said nothing. Then his eyes met Colin’s. “Nice flowers,” he commented. Then he fell silent.
