Feuds and reckless fury, p.26
Feuds and Reckless Fury, page 26
Quinn winces and stares down at his lap. Dad’s jaws clench, his nostrils flaring as he reins in his anger.
“We’re not discussing this in the fucking airport,” Dad growls, pinning me with a glare. “Enough.”
Emotion clogs my throat, and I shake my head furiously. “No. We are going to discuss this. I want to understand your double standards, Dad. Why is it okay for you to wreck families, but not me?”
Carrie shoots me a supportive smile.
“Canyon, it’s not that simple. You two are—”
“Don’t fucking say we’re brothers,” I snap. “We both know that’s a bullshit answer. Why don’t you want us to be happy?” My voice cracks at my question. “Why, Dad? Why can’t I be happy? You broke me!” Stupid tears form in my eyes, and I angrily bat them away with the palms of my hands. “You broke the three of us when you hooked up with him.” My tone is acid. “I wanted to hate you, and for fucking forever, I did, but then Alis…” I bury my face in my hands, stifling a sob. “He just made me happy. I love him, and I fucking miss him.”
It grows quiet, but Carrie’s soft hand finds mine beneath the table, squeezing it tight.
“I thought dads were supposed to love their kids unconditionally,” I whisper, unable to meet Dad’s stare. “I didn’t realize there were limits.”
“You know I love you,” Dad hisses. “More than anything.”
“But…” I lift my head to meet his stare.
His anger softens as he studies me. “No buts. I love you more than anything. I’m allowed to be angry, though. Just like you were.”
“What about you?” I demand, turning my attention to Quinn. “Since he’s not really your son, does that mean you can turn it off?”
“He is my son,” Quinn bellows, earning a few annoyed glares nearby. He drops his voice to an icy, low level. “He. Is. My. Son.”
“He was always so afraid of disappointing you,” I blurt out, unable to filter my words at this point. My heart is cracked open and flooding out. “It crippled him. He didn’t even have decorations in his damn room because he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. For you to push him away just like his mother did.”
Quinn freezes at my words. “He knows I love him and am proud of him.” His nostrils flare. “But not this.” He flutters his fingers at me.
“This is happening whether you like it or not,” I snarl out. “What I don’t understand is how you could be so willing to give him up? He’s fucking everything, and you don’t care!”
“Of course I care,” Quinn cries out. “He’s my boy. And now he’s with that filthy monster doing God only knows what. I’m terrified out of my goddamn skull. Do not for one second think you know the depths of how much I love him.”
“You ran him off,” I croak out, my eyes once again stinging. “What did you say to him?”
Quinn’s face falls, and he trembles. “I couldn’t look at him. Not right then.”
“You said that to him?” My hand fists, desperate to knock his head off his shoulders, but when I rise to do so, Dad yanks me back down into my seat. “You awful, fucking prick!”
A tear races down Quinn’s cheek, but he doesn’t swat it away. “He looked just like her. My sister. Tammy. Fucking his life up and looking to me to clean it up. I was just…I was just so pissed, but…” A sob escapes him, pained and horrified. “I just needed a breather. I needed to calm down. I didn’t want him to leave. I would never want that. Ever. He’s my little boy.”
Dad pulls Quinn to his side, hushing him as he cries. All I can do is stare helplessly. If Alis hadn’t run the first chance he got, maybe he’d see that everyone still loves him. That the love people feel for him isn’t contingent on whether he walks a perfectly straight line. Just like I knew, our dads would be pissed, but they’d get over it.
Alis didn’t trust me.
And now he’s gone.
Gone someplace where I can’t see or touch or speak to him.
I can’t protect him.
“I need air,” I mutter, rising from my seat.
“We board in twenty minutes,” Dad says, “so don’t go far.”
I hurry away from the table, breathing easier with each step away from them. Once inside the bathroom and in a stall, I lean back against the closed door and pull my phone out.
No reply.
I find his Instagram and leave him a voice message.
“They don’t care about us. Only about you. Tell me where you are. I’ll come get you. Please, Wonderland. I fucking miss you. I’m dying without you.”
The message goes unread, so I send him another one.
“I need to know everything we shared wasn’t just talk for you. What about the apartment? Our cat?” A pained sob chokes out of me. “Alis, I love you. Please. Give me something. Anything. I just need to know you haven’t let me go.”
I stare at the phone for the next fifteen minutes, waiting for a response. Nothing comes. Swallowing down my emotion, I exit the stall and find my family waiting for me with my bag. I sling it on over my shoulders, my phone still clasped in my death grip. We make it through the crowded area to our gate. As we stand in line, waiting to board, my mind drifts to Alis.
Stupid bleached-blond hair and fathomless brown eyes.
Taunting grins.
Soft, keening moans when I swallow his pierced dick.
The way he becomes hyper-focused when working on a sculpture, ignoring everything and everyone around him.
His teasing laughter when we watch Mubōna Ikari together and I geek out on all the scenes.
It’s only been days, and I miss him more than I thought possible. There’s no way I can go back to school next week without him. I can’t carry on like my heart didn’t just get up and leave.
The line moves slowly, so I flip back over to Instagram. His last posted picture was when we were skiing at the resort. It was a selfie of us—both of us wearing snow gear, sunglasses, and huge matching grins. The hashtag said #DaisukeAndChibi.
Pain and despair are anchors on my feet, dragging me under and blinding me in an abyss of what-ifs. All I can do is stare at our picture, the both of us so fucking happy, and try desperately not to cry. Dad clasps a hand on my shoulder, and I fall against him, losing the battle with my emotions. He hugs me tight, whispering assurances I want to believe.
We’ll get him back home soon.
Don’t worry about a thing.
He’ll come back to us.
The line moves, and Dad shifts us forward some. My phone buzzes in my hand. I tug away from him, hoping for a text from Alis. No text. But he’s posted a picture. It’s a selfie. He looks strange wearing a suit, and he’s not smiling, but the bottle of Coke in his hand makes my stomach flip. There’s a person in the background of the picture—some guy dressed in a black suit—glaring at him. Above that guy is the house number 1141. His hashtag says #IWantToSeeMyCat. Seconds later, there’s a private message—just one word. At first, I don’t understand why he says the word “First,” but then I realize it’s the street name.
He wants to go home.
He wants me.
Dad urges me closer to the gate where an airline worker waits. I shake my head in disagreement.
“N-No. I’m not getting on that flight.”
Quinn frowns at me. “What? Why?”
“I know where he is. I’m going to go get him.”
Dad’s eyes widen, and Quinn starts to cry tears of relief. Carrie squeals from beside me.
“The line’s moving,” the guy behind us complains.
Dad nods his head away from the gate. “Come on. We have flights to reschedule. We’re going to go get our boy.”
Our boy.
He doesn’t have to tell any of us twice. Twenty minutes later and we’ve nailed down flights to St. Louis.
We’re coming, Wonderland.
He’ll understand soon what family really means.
With ours, it’s feuds and reckless fury.
Fights and frustration and taking each other for granted.
But it also means love and forgiveness and home.
It means standing beside the ones you love even when they piss you off, and you want to hate their guts because…they’re your fucking family. Families stick together.
Not unlike Mubōna Ikari. Loyalty to your blood but also to the ones you claim as your own. You fight for them until the end.
He may have started as a no-one to me and then became my enemy. But, over time, hate twisted beautifully into love, and he became mine.
My choice. My love. My family.
We’re imaginary cat daddies together.
He’s coming back home to us, and when I finally get him in my arms, I’m never letting him go.
Alister
I don’t want to do this.
I’d rather stay locked up in my room, waiting for Canyon to come get me.
If he comes.
Sickness roils in my gut, but I ignore it. He will come. I know Canyon. Never once in all his messages did he lead me to believe he was through with me. If anything, his frustration and desperation to see me only increased as time went on.
He’ll pick me up, and we’ll run away together to our fake apartment with our made-up cat. Fuck, how I want it to be real.
“Get in,” Greer barks out, motioning to his SUV. “We’ll follow the boss to the rendezvous point.”
Colin’s stare lingers on me and then darts to Greer before he climbs into the passenger seat of the other vehicle. Mark hops in the driver’s seat while Seth and Logan get in the back. I get into Greer’s SUV, not at all eager to be blasted by his obnoxious rock music the entire ride.
As soon as I’m situated and buckled in, I tug at the tight knot at my throat. I hate suits. I especially hate ties. Greer seemed entertained by my discomfort when we picked up my new clothing at the store. Colin’s pleased expression later that night chased away any ill feelings I had. I’d always felt like a fuckup around Colin as a kid. Knowing he approved was a lift to my spirits. The subsequent dinner and a trip afterward to see The Gateway Arch together only further improved my mood. But, just like every other night I’d been here, I went to sleep to the sounds of Greer making Kace squeal like a pig and then haunting nightmares filled with mice and disappointing words from Dad.
“Kace thinks we should keep you,” Greer says, cutting his eyes to me while effortlessly navigating the roads. “I told him I’d agree to no such thing without a test drive first.”
My blood runs cold in my veins. What the hell is he talking about? I ignore him, jerking my attention out the window. He takes us across the river and then follows a side road to a shipping facility. I’d wondered what sort of shipment Colin was receiving, but I didn’t ask. The less I know, the better. I just want to get the fuck out of here. I was stupid for thinking I belonged here.
I belong with them.
Dad. Ryan. Carrie.
And him.
Canyon.
Greer pulls up between Colin’s SUV and a sporty red car. He shuts off the engine and turns his glare on me. Something sinister lurks in his gaze. I shudder as I reach for the handle. He strikes out quickly, seizing my wrist in his painful grasp. Yelping, I try to pull away, but he’s too strong. He jerks me to him and plants his other hand on my thigh to keep me in place. My lips are forced against his, and his tongue lashes at mine, greedily stealing a kiss that doesn’t belong to him.
“Stop touching me,” I growl, twisting my head to the side as I try and shove him away with my free hand.
“Test driving,” he bites out. “So far, you taste like an innocent little virgin.”
He fondles me through my pants, gasping when he feels the metal of the piercing on my dick. “Oh, this’ll do. Kace’ll love this.”
I swing my fist at him, hitting him in his throat. Before he can recover, I scramble out of the vehicle and take off running toward the building. Greer yells after me, but I race away from him easily. I’m a track star, and he’s a pervy goon. Of course, I beat him inside. I run toward the sound of voices. As soon as Kace comes into view, holding a gun to Colin’s temple, I charge. Colin may not be perfect, but he’s still family. I tackle Kace so hard, my teeth rattle when they slam together. A shot rings out in the air, and then I’m dragged off Kace.
I fight off my attacker, for a split second thinking it’s Greer to finish the job, but it’s Colin. Seth and Logan drag Kace to his feet, hauling him away. He starts to screech when he notices Greer’s body, face down with a growing pool of blood forming around him.
“You killed him!” Kace screams. “You killed him!”
Bile surges up my throat, but Colin smacks me on the back.
“Keep it together,” he barks out. “Mark, find out where the fuck our shipment is. Cut off every goddamn limb from that traitor if you have to.”
I’m shaking hard, unable to look away from Greer’s unmoving body. Shock trickles through me, slowly numbing me. Colin drags me out of the building and outside. Since I’m trembling so badly, he puts me into his SUV. We’re driving away when I crane my neck to look at the building.
“What about…” I trail off, meeting Colin’s scowl.
“Mark and my men can handle Kace.” His jaw clenches as he drives. “I should have known something was going on.” He punches the steering wheel, letting out a string of expletives. “Unbelievable.”
We ride in silence, and soon we’re pulling up at the house. He shuts off the car and shoots me a frown.
“Thank you,” he grits out. “That shouldn’t have happened back there. I usually trust my men implicitly, but ever since Joseph, there’s been a division in the ranks. I’m going to need to do a complete overhaul and weed out anyone else who so much as breathes the wrong way.”
I cringe at the reminder of one of his men who tried to kill me on my own front porch.
“I think—”
His words are cut off by the screech of tires. Colin flings himself out of the vehicle and pulls his gun, ready to fire at anyone who dares cross him again. I’m prepared to hide in the floorboard if necessary, but a familiar voice has me scrambling out of the car.
Canyon.
“What are you doing here?” Colin growls, his gun still pointed at my boyfriend, my stepbrother, my everything.
Dad and Ryan trot up behind Canyon, both of them holding their hands up in surrender. Canyon’s hands are fisted at his side. His gaze isn’t at the gun aimed at him but burning a hole into me. Without thinking of the consequences, I race over to him, throwing myself into his arms. He hugs me tight and has to steady himself to keep from falling over.
I inhale his expensive masculine scent, scrape my cheek along his scruffy jaw, and find his lips for a much-needed kiss. We kiss until I hear Dad’s voice, which has us wrenching apart.
“I’m here for my son,” Dad barks out, voice firm and unyielding. “Time to let him go.”
Pulling from Canyon’s embrace, I swivel around to face Colin. For a split second, he seems ready to pull the trigger of his gun that’s now aimed at Dad.
“Please don’t, Pops,” I croak out. “Please.”
Colin visibly flinches, lowering his gun and darting his brown eyes at me. “I’m your father, not him.”
Animosity ripples from Canyon, but I brush my fingers along his chest, willing him to let me handle this. I walk right up to Colin and nod.
“You’re my pops, yeah. And Quinn’s my dad.” I search Colin’s eyes. “You know I don’t really fit in this life. I don’t think I ever will either.”
His features soften as he studies me. “But you’re mine.”
“I’m his too,” I whisper. “I can be both.”
He blinks hard several times before clenching his jaw. “You want to go back with them?”
“I do.”
“Go on then.” His voice is gruff, but I don’t mistake the sadness in his expression. “It’s where you belong.”
I hug him for the first time of my own accord. The movement shocks him still, but then he returns the hug.
“Maybe we can catch a Gators game one day,” I tell him, stepping back. “Or dinner or something. As family, not business.”
“Hmph.” He holsters his gun and cocks his head to the side. “You have my number. Don’t be a stranger.” He nods at the house. “Grab your shit and go.”
I give him another hug, and then I grab my shit and go.
The hotel is in the heart of the city, a giant moon on top of the building signaling our destination. Ryan pulls into the valet, and we all exit the vehicle. It was an awkward ride to the hotel from Colin’s. One of my hands was squeezing Dad’s in the back seat, and my face buried against Canyon’s chest, holding on to his hand like he might vanish at any second. Carrie and Ryan kept shooting us goofy smiles from the front seat.
I’m back where I belong.
Ryan checks us in and hands Canyon a set of keycards. We make it onto the elevator and head up to the third floor. As we all file out, I realize Dad and Ryan are headed to one room, Carrie to another, and…
“Like we could keep you two apart,” Ryan grumbles. “I just don’t want to hear it.”
Dad walks over to me, yanking me to him for another fierce hug. I think he hugged me for five minutes straight before we even got into the vehicle. “I love you, Son, even if you drive me crazy sometimes.”
I nod, unable to keep the emotion out of my voice. “Love you too, Dad. I’m sorry.”
“We’ll talk tomorrow. Right now, you kids need rest. We all do. We’ve had one helluva few days.” He releases me and strokes my cheek with his palm, his eyes filled with love. “Don’t ever scare the shit out of me like that again.” He presses a kiss to my forehead. “Sleep, and tomorrow we’ll make the most of the rest of our vacation.”
Turning from him, I find Canyon standing in the doorway of the room, waiting for me. As soon as we step over the threshold, he shoves me to the wall, kissing me like he can reach my soul. Joke’s on him, though—it mated with his months ago. We’re Daisuke and Chibi. Two sides of the same coin. A perfect complement to the other.
