Love and war, p.80
Love and War, page 80
My gaze flits over her tiny black shorts and green Aztec print halter top that reveals far too much cleavage. It’s better than the spandex tight red dress she had on earlier, though. We’re not going clubbing. We’ve planned to watch a movie for crying out loud. But still…it screams look at me.
“Your tits are barely contained. It’s not a whole lot better than the dress. Don’t you have a T-shirt or something you could wear?” I ask with a groan.
She curls up her lip in disgust as if I’ve just asked her to show me her old man porn collection or some shit. “I still want him to remember I’m a woman, dumbass. A T-shirt is not going to remind him I have tits.”
I roll my eyes as she hands me a beer and plops down beside me. “When’s he supposed to get here?”
Her lips wrap around the end of the bottle and she sips. If she does subtle crap like that, she’ll have no problem getting Oscar to notice her. I don’t think any guy is blind to a woman wrapping her plump lips around a bottle. Every guy’s thoughts immediately go…there.
She’s about to answer when the door swings open. Oscar strolls in with his keys in one hand and a six-pack of beer in the other. Despite the unusual circumstances in which I’ve come to know the guy, I actually really like him. Unlike his brother Duvan, he’s cool and funny as hell. And he’s a pretty good surfer. I wish he’d snap the fuck out of it though and claim this girl before the wrong asshole does.
Conversation, like usual, is easy for the three of us. Oscar regales us with tales of the asshole men who work for his father and how he riled them up at every chance he got while visiting. Vee updates him on Brie and Duvan. I remind them about the concert tickets in September I purchased tickets for the three of us to go to. After we finished off the beer and our second movie, we moved on to some strong-ass cocktails which Vee made. We’re all relaxed to the point that I don’t mind her head in my lap while she blabs on about the classes she’s enrolled for. The tension in my neck has loosened somewhat.
Oscar’s gaze seems to roam her bare legs on his own accord. I don’t even think he’s noticed yet that I’m stroking her hair. Through half-lidded tipsy eyes, she gives me an appreciative smile. I wink at her and enjoy relaxing with my friends.
At home, I can’t fucking relax. I’m eager for class to start back up so I can get back to the dorms. Mom and Dad have their hands full with a toddler and a newborn. We’ve yet to hear from Gabe as far as I know, which only serves to piss me off. Home is most definitely not relaxing.
“Have your legs always been this smooth?” Oscar questions, his brow lifting with one corner of his lips.
Vee laughs and kicks at him where he sits on the other end of the couch we’re sharing. He’s seemed to loosen up. I don’t miss the hunger in his eyes that he’s trying to mask. “You’re drunk, Ozzy.”
He smirks. “You’re the one who can’t handle her liquor. Why the hell did you make this shit so strong anyway?” His fingers tickle her thigh and she squeals. “Make me another drink, bartender.”
She sticks her tongue out at him, but I can see happiness glittering in her green orbs. The fucker is finally paying her some attention. But by the time she returns with another round of drinks, Oscar is frowning as he texts. He doesn’t even utter a thank you when she hands him his drink.
Her sad gaze finds mine and my heart aches for her. “Come here.”
She sets the drinks down and sits down beside me. I can tell she’s seconds away from crying. The liquor is depressing her and it’s making a quick job of it.
“What’s wrong?” She and I both know what’s wrong.
“Nothing,” she says in a wobbly voice.
Her tears begin to fall, thanks to the alcohol, and I hug her to me.
“Shh,” I murmur, stroking the side of her arm. “Don’t cry.”
I’m attempting to comfort her when a glass slams against the coffee table, startling us.
“What the fuck did I miss?!” Oscar bellows as he rises to his feet.
“Maybe pay some attention and you’d know,” I growl out.
Without warning, she’s physically pulled from my hug by Oscar. His scowl is murderous when it meets mine as if I were the one who made her cry. Then, he drags her squirmy ass into her bedroom. The door slams shut, and I’m left wondering what the hell just happened.
God, I wish he’d just fucking wake up.
My thoughts drift to Brie. Sexy, stunning Brie. Such a sad girl with a brilliant smile. I’d do anything to see her smile right now. To have her in my arms. Jesus Christ, I miss her.
Simply thinking of her has my dick aroused and eager to come. The last time I came—not by my own hand—was at the hotel before Brie walked out on me. And before that was when I’d taken her virginity. I close my eyes to remember how perfect that night had been. How beautiful and ethereal she’d been under the moonlight. The way her body squeezed my dick so hard, I thought I’d pass out from pleasure.
She moans and—
I pop my eyes open with realization that it’s Vee’s moans I’m hearing. Good for her. She finally got him to fuck her, it would seem. As proud as I am for her, I’m still hard as hell and have Brie on my mind. Shamelessly, I unfasten my shorts and pull my proud cock from my boxers. With my eyes closed, I let Brie take center stage in my fantasy while Vee’s moans in the background give it the realistic edge my normal whack off sessions don’t have. I fist my length with a death grip and run my thumb over the topside of my shaft. When it slides over the tip, I hiss out. My dick jolts in my hand.
“Brie,” I murmur, my voice but a whisper.
Her brown eyes—eyes I miss seeing in the flesh—are focused on me as I stroke myself. I can almost imagine it’s her. Her mouth. Her lips. Her wet tongue. All tasting me and bringing me closer to climax. With every thrust into my fist, I get closer to blowing my wad down her imaginary throat.
“Fuck,” I hiss out as my balls draw up in pleasure.
Heat spurts up the front of my shirt as my release escapes me. My mind lingers on Brie and I drag out the fantasy as long as possible. When I’ve finished and tucked my cock back into my pants, I open my eyes and acknowledge that I’ll never have her again.
That one day soon I’m going to have to move the fuck on.
Easier said than done.
I rip my soiled shirt from me and toss it away. The moans from the other room have stopped. It almost sounds like she’s crying again. If I didn’t think I’d get my ass kicked, I would go in there and check on her. Oscar shouts something muffled. It has me rising to my feet in alarm. But then she’s back to moaning. With a huff of frustration, I plop back on the sofa and start to pass out.
Where do I even go from here?
Rolling to my side, I push thoughts of my bleak future away and gladly welcome ones of when Brie was beneath me in the sand. She’ll always be nothing but a memory to me. For at least one night under the stars and another against the hotel door, she was mine. It may have been fleeting but they were our moments.
I may not ever have her again.
But that memory I’ll hold on to until the day I die.
* * *
“Are we going to talk about what happened last night?” I question as I pour syrup all over my pancakes.
Vee winces, as if my words physically pain her, and stabs at her eggs. “Which part?”
“You and Oscar. Did he finally wake the hell up?”
She chews on her eggs and regards me with sad eyes. “Yeah.”
I lift an eyebrow at her. Even though she got what she wanted, she seems unhappy. “Why were you crying last night? I thought you got laid. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
Her nose turns pink and her bottom lip wobbles. “We didn’t have sex. Oscar was jealous and he finger fucked me into several orgasms. And just when I thought we were going to finally do it…”
She sniffles and lets out a huff.
“What?”
“He said he’s too busy for a relationship. That if he fucked me that’s all it would be. A fuck.” A tear races down her cheek. “I told him I would take whatever I could get.”
I cringe at how desperate that must have sounded. “What did he say?”
“He told me no. When I started to cry, he kissed me. God, he kisses so good. And then he got me off again. Afterward, we fell asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms.”
Her fingers are trembling as she attempts to open a packet of sugar to add to her coffee. I reach over and take it from her hands. Once I’ve torn the packet open and dumped it into the steaming liquid, I regard her once more.
“It seems like progress, Vee.”
She gives me a sour look. “He friend zoned me. Fucked me with his perfect fingers and then friend zoned me.”
I make a mental note to call Oscar and have a man to man talk with him. Vee’s too sweet for him to string along. If he doesn’t like her, then he needs to move on. Fingering her in her bedroom not once but twice is confusing the poor girl and leading her on.
“Duvan did just up and leave with Brie. And Esteban is missing. Do you think he actually is busy helping his father?”
She shrugs and swallows. “Maybe.”
“Maybe you just need to take a step back. If he’s busy, you’ll never have his full attention,” I tell her gently.
Her green eyes burn with fury and her nostrils flare. “Our fathers are business partners. He and I could be partners too. I could help him.”
I’m already shaking my head. “You do not need to be fucking involved in that cartel shit, Vee.”
Her gaze loses its fiery edge. “I was born into it. I’m already involved. He just needs to wake up and realize how great we could be together.”
I pull my baseball cap off and run my fingers through my hair before giving her a tired look. “Have you ever thought that maybe you two aren’t good together?”
She frowns. “Nope.”
I ignore the roiling of my stomach. The syrupy scent that hangs heavy in the air isn’t helping my hangover at all. “Promise me something,” I say finally and then regard her with a serious stare. “If he doesn’t make a move by the end of the summer, promise me you’ll get out there and date again.”
Her brows furl together as she ponders my words. Finally, she lets out a huff. “Fine, I promise.”
I roll my eyes because I don’t believe her one single bit. “You’re not just lying to me, Vee. You’re lying to yourself.”
Her nose turns pink as she wobbles out her words. “Lying to myself is the only way I’ve managed to keep my heart intact.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEEN
Brie
Two months on Margarita Island
“Tell me a story, tigress.”
We’re lying on a blanket under an umbrella being lazy today. After a week of visiting with my mother’s cousin, I’m exhausted. It was nice meeting Louisa, and she was so great to me, but the constant reminiscing only depressed me. I found most stories funny about their childhood. However, every single one of them reminded me of the fact that she’s gone. It doesn’t hurt any less after three years.
“What kind of story?” I question as I curl against his bare chest. The artwork on his sculpted torso is fascinating. I’ve spent hours just tracing my finger along the different curves of each design. Moments like those, we can go forever without speaking but so much is spoken silently.
Duvan gets me.
Deep down, he knows me better than I know myself.
“One that makes you happy, mi amor,” he murmurs, his fingers brushing over mine on his chest.
I settle in the crook of his warm arm and let out a sigh. Closing my eyes, I think back to a time I truly was happy and carefree.
* * *
“Daddy,” I say as I dig my small shovel into the sand. “I want a sister. Constance from school has three sisters. I just want one. Nobody wants to play with me.”
He chuckles and looks off into the distance of the beach. Daddy always looks in the same direction. Like he’s waiting for someone to come see him. “Your momma is busy fixing hurt people all the time at the hospital. She doesn’t have time for another baby.”
“I’m not a baby,” I pout.
Daddy pulls the shovel from my hand and helps me square away the sides of the castle we’re making. “You’re my baby. Always will be.”
“I’m seven, Daddy,” I tell him with a huff. “I want to be your big girl.”
He brings a sandy finger to my chin and lifts it so we’re staring at one another. My daddy is strong and fearless like the dragon in my storybook. I’m the princess and Mommy is the queen. “You’re my Brie baby. Still a big kid but still my little girl.”
I crack a smile at him. “I still want a sister.”
His eyes shine and once again he flits his gaze down the beach. “Maybe one day you’ll have one, kiddo.”
He says his words with such sureness, I can’t help but believe him. Maybe I will one day.
“Ally says her daddy isn’t nice,” I tell him, my voice soft—so soft it almost gets lost in the sound of the waves crashing close by. “He must not love her if he isn’t nice.”
“Is that so?”
I look up at him and see that his frown matches mine. “Will you always love me?”
He takes my hand and narrows his eyes at me. “Brie,” he assures me. “I’ll always be your daddy. I’ll always love you no matter what. And if…” He scrubs at his face, rubbing sand across his skin. “If anything should ever happen and I’m taken away from you, don’t forget that. I will always try to be the best man I can for you, baby girl. Don’t let anyone ever tell you I don’t love you. No matter what they say I’ve done or what I’m capable of. My love for you never wanes. I’ll always do what needs to be done to protect you.”
His words are sad, and they make me sad too. I start to cry. He coos and pulls me into his lap. My daddy hugs me until I stop sobbing about stuff I don’t understand.
“Love is strange, baby. It comes in all different forms and sizes. Sometimes it makes sense like the love I have for you and your mom. Other times, it’s confusing. Sometimes you have love for a person that doesn’t even know you. One day, you’ll find yourself all twisted up over love. It’ll make your heart hurt and your mind messy. But, sweet girl,” he says in a fierce tone, “don’t ever let it get away. You deserve love. And in this family…” He chuckles and lets out a tired sigh. “In this family, we do some crazy things for love. In this family, we don’t let love go.”
* * *
I’m still lost in lingering thoughts of my dad when Duvan clutches my hand.
“I’m sorry, mi amor.”
Shrugging, I swallow back the tears that are threatening to spill. “I just wish he’d have held true to his promise. He let me go, Duvan.”
He sits us up and takes my cheeks in his hands. The almost black usual irises have turned purple in the sunlight. I could stare into his eyes all day long.
“Brie…”
I frown. He hardly calls me by my name. “What?”
“One day you need to forgive him. He fucked up, tigress. But maybe…” he trails off and brushes a kiss on my lips. “Maybe love started to get confusing. I mean, love is a complicated little fuck. Back when we first met you, I’d have never imagined falling so hard for someone my father wanted me to marry. Yet I did. And did you ever envision yourself with the likes of me?”
My lips curve into a smile. “No. Not at all.”
He takes my wrist and kisses my now healed tattoo. Each time he does it, it sends ripples of electricity straight to my heart. “Come on,” he says with a chuckle. “Let’s get showered and dressed. I’ll take you out to dinner. We’ve still yet to fatten your skinny ass up.”
I laugh for his benefit, but my belly does a flop. I am gaining weight even though he doesn’t seem to notice. My stomach is pudgier than normal, and my boobs even seem to have grown. I don’t want to get his hopes up unless I know for sure, but I missed my period. A huge part of me is scared shitless about the possibility I could be pregnant. After the heroine addiction and the hell I endured with Esteban, I slept with Duvan without protection. It had been days since I’d taken my birth control and I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to remember to take it.
What if I am pregnant?
The smaller, slightly braver part of me, is secretly excited. And in about fifteen minutes, I’ll have my answer. Earlier today while Duvan napped, I walked down to the drugstore to buy a test. He’d woken up when I came back so I hid the test in my purse until another time.
Now’s the time.
We make it inside our beachside house rental and he makes a beeline for the shower, peeling clothes off along the way. I can’t help but grin as his muscled ass tightens with each step away from me. Duvan is nothing but sheer tattooed muscle. I’ve licked every inch of him and my mouth waters for more.
There’s no way I’m not pregnant.
I’ve never been so horny in all my life.
The shower turning on springs me into action. I find the test and slip into the bathroom behind him. He’s already stepped into the shower so I do my business while he rambles on about a seafood restaurant he found online that he wants to try. I mutter the appropriate answers while I undress and wait for the test.
Three minutes.
“You getting in or what, tigress?”
I let out a squeak and set the test down with a clatter. “Yep!”
He launches into a story about his dad, but I’m too zoned out to listen.
One word.
One word.
One word.
Pregnant.
Tears well in my eyes and elation floods through me. I’m not sure what I expected, but overwhelming excitement wasn’t it. We’re pregnant. Holy shit. Vee is going to freak out when she finds out.
“Duvan…”
He pops open the shower door and furrows his brows in concern. The god of a man is all perfectly chiseled lines and grooves. A distinct ‘v’ on his lower abdomen paves the way straight down to his thick cock. Even flaccid, the man’s dick is beautiful. When my gaze rises back to his handsome face, he’s smirking at me.
