Ashes ashes the complete.., p.19
Ashes, Ashes: The Complete Series, page 19
“Come here, Lil,” I said, frowning at the radio she held clutched tightly in her hand like shiny plastic doll. I scooted over, making room for her beside me. “It’s okay—”
“No,” Amaranth interrupted. “I—I’d like her to come with me. Walking’s easier with a shoulder to lean on. If it’s okay,” she added.
“You want to, Lilly?”
She shrugged. “Sure.”
“I go, too,” Elise said in a small voice and the four of them followed Dr. Qadirah into the tent.
We each got a bowl of steaming broth. There wasn’t much else to it—no meat or vegetables—but it tasted so good that I didn’t care that it was little more than flavored hot water. Samir broke off a small piece of a square of flat bread that reminded me of the hardtack I’d read about in whaling novels, then handed the loaf to me. I snapped off a piece and passed it to Nate and the loaf made its way around the fire. Amy took her share, and, even though there wasn’t room, dropped into the place between me and Samir. From time to time, she gave our new friend a look I was pretty sure Rod wouldn’t have liked.
“There are many like your Richter out there,” Samir said. Looking at him now, up close and by the light of the fire, I guessed he was a few years older than me—maybe nineteen or twenty—with a headful of curly dark hair, a chin full of black stubble and big black eyes. “We’ve had run-ins with them but so far, we’ve had enough numbers to deter the worst. They see more of a chance when there’s only a few. Worse still if it’s just one or two—”
“Very true,” Hakim agreed from the other side of the fire. “Of course, some of them are forming large numbers too. Unfortunately like seeks like: people seek those with the same nature. This is true of bad people as well as good ones—”
“Do you know what happened?” Nester scrunched the glasses up his face and leaned toward the man. “I mean, I know about the bombs—but where’s the Army? Or the National Guard or whoever? Why haven’t we been able to get anyone on the radio? Why haven’t we seen any helicopters or any emergency personnel? Isn’t there any effort to—I don’t know—search for survivors or tell us where to go or what to do or anything?”
Hakim and Samir exchanged another glance, a sadder one.
“There will be no rescues, son,” Hakim said quietly. “That is all gone.”
“But I don’t understand,” Nate interjected picking up where his brother left off. “I mean, the bomb was bad. Washington is gone. But there’s more to the United States than just Washington—”
Samir shook his head. “They don’t know,” he said softly.
“Don’t know what?” Rod appeared from Qadirah’s tent and squeezed in next to Amy, forcing me to move. He had a real black eye patch over his damaged left eye now and his face appeared shiny with some kind of salve. Amy’s lips crimped downward just a little, like she wished he’d sat somewhere else.
Amaranth stood at the edge of our circle. She held a dry ice pack over the right side of her face with one hand, and leaned against Elise with the other. The silver package made her skin look paler and the dark shadows of dirt and exhaustion on her face deeper. But even then, with the light of the fire glinting off her red hair, she looked beautiful. I wished she would come and sit by me like Rod had done to Amy, but she didn’t. Samir stood up like royalty had just entered the little wooded clearing, gesturing toward his seat with a welcoming smile on his face. Amaranth frowned. She didn’t move toward him, instead she nodded Elise toward the spot and limped to a place beside Nate.
“Remember what they said on the news?” Amy swept her hair out of her face. “Before all we could get was dead air? About bombs going off in New York and Los Angeles and other places. About the government responding with other bombs against the places where they thought the terrorists were—”
“She is right,” Hakim said softly. “And those places responded with their own bombs—”
“So what are you saying? That everywhere is just wiped out?” Nate’s voice rose in panic.
“Most of the East Coast is gone. A good part of the center of this country is, too. And the military and nuclear centers in the West. Millions are dead. Millions more from the fallout. And this cloud?” He nodded at the grayness over our heads. “It may kill the rest of us if we can’t escape it—”
“Because everything alive on the planet needs sunlight,” Amy murmured softly. Rod dropped a hand around her shoulder like he was trying to comfort her, but Amy squirmed away.
“But we heard you say you were headed to Kentucky.” Nate said. “Is it better there?”
“We will pass through Kentucky, yes,” Hakim said. “But it is not the final destination. We need to get west of the Mississippi—and east and south of the missile bases in Montana and Nevada. Arkansas—” He pronounced it “AR-kansas” and Samir smiled at the error. “That is where we go.”
“But is it safe there?” Amy asked. “What if you get there and it it’s the same as it is here?”
The men were silent and I could tell by their grim expressions they had considered that possibility.
“Well, if God is willing and we have supplies enough, we will keep going. South and West into Mexico,” Samir said at last. “And beyond, if necessary. There has to be someplace left on earth where we can start again. Someplace where food will grow again and animals will thrive—”
“El Salvador,” Elise volunteered. “Where there is my Mama.”
“Yes, little one. Perhaps there,” Hakim laughed. “Is that where you children are going? Where have you fled from? How came you to travel so far together?”
“We’re going to Ohio.” Amaranth answered quickly before anyone else could reply. “My uncle is there.” She smiled and stretched her eyes in such a winning way that everyone could tell she was lying.
“I see.” Hakim nodded. “It’s wise not to reveal everything. Even to new friends. Trust must be earned, right, young lady? But regardless of where you are heading, I extend you an invitation.” He gestured around the camp like a beneficent leader. “Join us. It is true our supplies are meager, but what we have we will share—and we will ask you to do the same. Your experience with weapons is valuable and in return, we offer you the safety and protection of numbers.” He looked into each of our faces individually. “Against the Richters out there, fifty are better than eight.” He stood up suddenly, groaning a little. “The rain aches an old man’s bones,” he murmured. “This is a proposal you should discuss, I know. We will leave you.”
Samir locked eyes with Amaranth for just a second longer than was strictly necessary. Amy scooted a little further away from Rod like he was an unwanted accessory.
“Thank you,” she said.
”You are welcome. We plan to start out again soon.” Samir gave Amy a gallant smile, before his eyes strayed to Amaranth again. “I hope you’ll come with us.” Then he followed his father and we were alone.
We stared at each other, waiting for someone to be the first to put words to what we were all thinking.
“All right, since no one else is gonna step up, I’ll just say it, man,” Nester began at last. “I think we should go with them.”
“Cosign, bro,” Nate muttered. “That may be the first thing we’ve ever agreed on.”
“How do we know we can trust them?” Amaranth asked. “How do we know they aren’t taking us on so they can—oh, I don’t know— sell us to some roving gang of thugs? Or chop us into bits while we’re sleeping and eat us.”
“They don’t strike me as cannibals, Amaranth.” Amy offered. “In fact, they seem really cute—I mean, nice.”
Rod rolled his eyes.
“You can’t make a decision on such superficial criteria, Amy—”
“It’s not superficial! The truth is, we don’t have anything to go on other than what they’ve told us and what we think is best for us—”
“She’s right. It really just comes down to whether we think our chances of survival are better with them or on our own.” Nester shook his head. “And the whole ‘strength in numbers' thing makes a lot of sense to me, I’m not going to lie.”
“I know, but…” I sighed. “We’re so close. Just a few days walk—”
“If we make it. If there are no more bad guys on the way. We just barely got away last time. We might be pressing our luck.”
“Still,” I insisted. “If you we were this close to your parents, could you just…just walk away without even looking to see if they were alive?”
“I did,” Wasserman said softly. “Remember? Back on the bus?”
I didn’t know what to say to that. None of them could even look at me—not even Amaranth.
“Look, I understand if you guys want to go with them, I really do,” I said at last. “And I won’t be mad if this is where we go our separate ways. But I can’t go. Not now. I have to get to the Mountain Place. I have to take Lilly home. I promised my mother—and—and—” My voice started fraying and I decided to stop talking rather than becoming a big sloppy mess. Amy pressed a hand on my thigh, like she was trying to let me know it was okay, but I stood up.
“Where is Lilly anyway?” I asked.
“Qadirah,” Elise offered. “She made her to lie down on the sleeping bag. She said she did not like the bumps.”
“Bumps? What bumps?”
“On her mouth. Also her back. Also stomach—”
The sores. They’d been erupting all over Lilly for the last couple of days, but I guess they’d seemed small to me in the face of our other problems.
“I’ll go get her. You guys probably need to talk without either one of us around.”
My legs ached as I moved—and I couldn’t help wondering if I’d be able to stand up at all if I lived to be as old as Hakim. For a light-headed moment, I was in the kitchen of our house, headed up the stairs for a shower and clean clothes before dinner. The memory hit me hard enough to bring the sting of tears to my eyes, but I kept walking and the image faded.
As soon as I saw the angry red marks marching down her forearms, her stomach and her legs, I knew they weren’t cold sores. They reminded me of Amaranth’s bruises, except that were slightly raised, like blisters. Dr. Qadirah had settled Lilly onto a dirty black nylon sleeping bag and was dabbing some kind of lotion on the little marks, while Lilly drank something colorful from a bottle. Gatorade. The familiar logo was the most normal thing I’d seen in forever.
“Well, here’s your brother now,” Qadirah said cheerfully. “I was just coming to find you.” She studied me as if trying to determine if I needed her services. For some reason that made me stand up straighter, to prove I was all right.
“Is she okay? What’s wrong with her?”
“It’s a reaction. To what? I cannot say for sure, but I have seen it enough now to have my suspicions.” She gestured toward the sky. “My theory is it’s something still filtering over us from the clouds.”
“Radiation?” My voice came out a cracked whisper of shock. I glanced at Lilly but she seemed intoxicated by the Gatorade and oblivious to our conversation.
“Possibly, though we’re not picking up dangerous levels on our Geiger counter anymore. But those clouds are filled with the remains of our civilization, Liam,” she continued earnestly. “Metals and chemicals of all kinds. I’m surprised more of us aren’t walking around with rashes and lesions. Right now, it seems to have affected the most sensitive among us: the infants and the old. The sick and vulnerable. Like your sister. But until the sun returns, I worry for us all. That is why we head south…but there is no way of knowing what awaits us in any direction.”
I remembered what Mrs. Standish had said to me just before she and her family left Wilson’s Garage: It’s the radiation. It’s hardest on the young and the sick.
A million questions raced through my brain. Would Lilly be okay? Was there anything I could do—any medicine that could help—
Dr. Qadirah laid a gentle hand on my arm. “No,” she said, reading my mind. “There is nothing. I am not even sure I am correct. And even if I am, there is no way to isolate the agent or develop an antidote. All of that is gone.” Her scarf slid a little as she shook her head. Once it had been beautiful—a deep burgundy color threaded with shimmery bits of gold—but now it was torn and muddy and stained by hardship. “Medicine has been thrust back a hundred years—perhaps more. Thankfully, Lilly is tough,” she nodded briskly and patted Lilly’s ripped jeans-clad leg. “A strong girl. How else do we survive but by being strong?” When she looked at me again, I thought her eyes looked brighter, like in spite of her words, she was having her own moment of weakness and any second tears might run down her cheeks. “You two have things to talk about and soon we all must go. We must keep going, all of us. We have no other choice. Get up when you wish, Lilly.”
She bowed her head slightly and left the tent without another word.
“I like her,” Lilly said. “She’s soft and hard. Like Mom. But we won’t go with them, will we?”
I shook my head. “We’re going to find Dad, just like I promised.”
“But the others…they’ll go, won’t they?”
I nodded. “Elise will want to stay with us, but we need to make her go with them. She’ll be safer. It’s better for her. Especially if Amaranth is going with them.”
Lilly slipped her fingers in mine and squeezed them.
“Then let’s go. Say goodbye. Wish them luck.”
I found her backpack and slung it over my arm instead of handing it to her. I thought she’d protest—insist she wasn’t a baby—but she didn’t. She let me hold her hand as we left the tent, and didn’t let go until we reached the campfire.
All around us, the little settlement was making ready for departure. Tents were coming down, supplies were being re-packed and young and old were getting their gear together. I saw Samir handing out weapons as Hakim and Qadirah conferred with a group of other men and women over a large map. Qadirah gave us a small sad smile, but said nothing.
When we reached the others, the fire was out and they were standing with their gear ready. Our firearms had been returned; Amy handed me my Glock like she was giving me a pink slip.
“Well, this is it,” Rod said stepping toward us, as though he had been elected to speak for the group.
“Yeah. I guess so.”
For a moment we all just stared at each other. Nester had a determined look on his face, and all Nate needed was warrior paint to complete the fearsome seriousness of his expression. Amaranth held one of Elise’s hands and Amy held the other.
“Before we do this,” Rod continued. “There’s something we want to say to both of you.”
I really didn’t want to hear it. All kinds of feelings were churning around inside me. I knew it made sense for them to go with Hakim and his family, but I had hoped at least a few of them would protest: Amy because she knew her family was dead. Elise, since her mother was so very far away. Amaranth…because…because I wanted her to.
“I tell them, yes?” Elise’s eyes sparkled. “We will not go to the Arkansas. We stay with you,” she said, confidently. “After everything, we are family—”
“A seriously dysfunctional one—” Nester muttered.
“And we must stay together,” Elise continued. She took Lilly’s hand, and then shyly reached for mine, blushing like I’d discovered her secret crush.
“She’s right,” Nester said. “I just wish she wouldn’t pray so much—”
“Or learn to do it in Hebrew,” Wasserman wisecracked and everyone—even Elise—laughed.
“I’m glad,” Lilly beamed out over our odd fellowship. “Liam, aren’t you glad?”
They were skinny, starving, difficult and desperate…but I couldn’t imagine reaching the Mountain Place without them. I wanted to smile, but Dr. Qadirah’s words felt heavy in my heart. Even if we made it to the Place, the sky was against us. I squeezed Lilly’s hand tighter hoping I could protect her, hoping that I wasn’t leading her—and the others—further from safety.
“Yeah, Lil,” I said and I meant it. “I’m glad, too.”
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Beefaroni Nightmares
“It’s time to get out of the trees,” Amaranth said.
When we left Dr. Qadirah and her family, we had been unified and in relatively good spirits, but that mood evaporated as we struggled through the muddy woods, slipping and sliding as the hills grew steeper and the valleys plunged sharply off the peaks like the wickedest rollercoaster anyone could survive. Then Wasserman and Amy had some kind of argument, hissing together in low tones until finally, Amy flounced away from him.
“You know, Rod, you really can be a jerk sometimes,” she snapped, flinging the words over her shoulder at him as she joined Lilly and me near the end of the line. “Sometimes, I really hate you.”
“It was just a joke—”
“It wasn’t funny!”
“Oh shut up, both of you. We need to get on the tracks. Like now!” Amaranth interrupted.
“What’s your hurry all of the sudden?” Wasserman shot back. “It’s not your father we’re going to get.”
Amaranth speared him a stiletto-sharp glance and the good side of his face crumpled. “I didn’t mean that way it sounded,” he muttered. “I just meant—”
“I think it’s safe,” Amaranth said, cutting off his attempt at an apology before he could finish. “And the way the terrain sloping, if we don’t do it now, we’ll be on a cliff. We might lose the tracks if we get too high.”
“She’s right,” I agreed. We could barely see the tracks, but had been traveling along a tree-lined embankment parallel to them. For the last mile or so, the steady incline made it hard to keep our footing and the dense trees were definitely slowing our progress.
“But what about cover? Walking on the tracks, we’re gonna be in plain sight,” Nate sounded one part paramilitary expert and one part scared kid who remembered Lowellstown.
“We’ll have to be careful, but I’m hoping that we can compensate for the lack of cover by making better time—”
