Running on empty highlan.., p.26
Running on Empty (Highland Falls), page 26
Leaning in, she opened her mouth for a deep kiss that had me going from slightly interested to ragingly hard within seconds.
Shifting from side to side, her eyes crinkled with clear amusement. “Why, Logan Traub, does old BA want to come out to play?”
I pulled back and looked at her with confusion. “BA?”
With a wicked smile, she slid her hand down along my cock. “I thought Levi told me this guy was a traitor at times—Benedict Arnold, was it?—that he knew long before you that I was the one for you?” She gave me a devious smile as she lightly squeezed my length.
“That’s it,” I said, tossing her over my shoulder with a slap to her ass. “Lunch will have to wait.”
From her spot upside down on her shoulder, I could feel her stomach tensing with her laughter, and she slapped my ass as I moved us to our bedroom. “BA can’t wait, babe?”
“No, Ally, he sure can’t.” And wouldn’t have to, ever again.
Epilogue
Four Years Later
Logan
It was a warm day in late May that made the long, coolish Illinois spring days that came before worth it. Summer was in the air after weeks of it feeling like it would never come. Charlie was trotting down the trail ahead of us while Allyson was behind, singing “Old McDonald Had a Farm” and just in general loving life. We all were.
The past four years had been magical and, no other word for it, healing. Allyson hadn’t wanted a long engagement, so we’d headed to the courthouse on a sunny day in June, just a month after the marathon, and got married. My parents, Levi, and Maeve had been there. Maeve had their parents on FaceTime. They didn’t seem too broken up about not being there, which I worked to let go of my anger about. Allyson wasn’t upset; she’d been full of sunshine, enough for us all.
We’d celebrated at the Sanctuary that afternoon with our friends—Allyson and Andy had a crew scheduled. We’d devoured anything they had whipped up plus the beer and apps the guys had brought over from the Homestead. It was low-key and full of joy, exactly what we’d wanted.
One year later, William Traub had been born, and I felt like I understood the character of the Grinch, my heart had grown that day, far beyond what I thought I was capable of. Mom said God knew what he was doing, and Will was going to be a handful, just like Levi and myself. I’d say Ally didn’t deserve that, but she loved him to pieces and didn’t care one iota if he was trouble personified; he was ours.
And then God gave with both hands again this year because this little girl in the sling on my chest came along just three months ago. We were sleep-deprived and blissfully happy.
Behind me I heard three-year-old Will shouting about animals, then joining Ally in singing the noises that animal made. As we came around the curve in the trail, he called out, “We’re almost there, Daddy.”
That we were.
Our bench was just up ahead, my favorite spot in the park, and by it, our sycamore that Allyson had planted.
I got there first, placing my hand on the trunk as I always did, feeling the warmth of the bark and the energy that I felt each time flow through me.
“Down, down,” Will cried from his spot in the pack on Allyson’s back.
I quickly moved to them, pulling him out and down. Charlie quickly came to his side, ready to play or, hopefully, find a snack that Will dropped.
“We might need to switch on the way back,” Allyson said, stretching a bit.
“Absolutely.” I had a feeling that wouldn’t happen. Allyson loved talking to Will as they hiked, making up stories and singing songs. But I’d gladly take a turn if it worked out.
The caw of a bird came from above, and we all looked up into the brilliant blue sky as Will cawed in response.
“It’s a beautiful day,” Allyson said as she spread a blanket out for Will to play on here by our bench, our tree, our spot.
“Sure is.” I marveled at the sense of peace that was in me now, that had been there for a little over four years. I knew a large part of it was this woman in front of me, but I wasn’t selling myself short; it had taken a lot of work on my own to get here, and I’d done it and was damn proud of myself for it.
“Charlie,” Will said, looking at me with pleading eyes.
“Only one,” I said as Will happily handed Charlie the first of what I knew would be several dog treats. The two were best friends, and Charlie had found a champion in his campaign for more snacks.
“Lewi?” Will asked, looking behind us for his uncle.
“Not today, bud, next time.” For this little one’s first visit to our spot, we’d left Levi and Max at the mansion with Max’s dogs. They were getting coffee while they waited for us. They knew we’d wanted today to just be about our little family but wanted to be here for us when we were done.
Will nodded, then grabbed a car that Allyson handed him and drove it around his blanket, Charlie settling in beside him.
My wife’s shrewd gaze scanned me. “You good?”
I nodded. “Better than good.”
She watched me for a few beats, then dipped her head before stretching out near Will and our pup. “We’ll be right here.”
God, I loved her.
Taking a few steps over to the tree Allyson had planted, I toed off some debris that had blown over the plaque on the ground in the past week. My hand rubbed over the bundle against my chest who hadn’t made so much as a peep since we started our short hike. The fresh air did that to her every time. Allyson liked to joke that I’d passed it down to her in my genes. A love and peace to be found in the outdoors. I could get behind that.
Stepping up to the tree, I put my hand back and centered myself, one hand on my little girl, another remembering my first wife. For all the things I loved Allyson for, the fact that she included Nola in so much of our life was somewhere at the top. Pictures of her were all over our house. Her parents knew our children; they had an open invitation to visit. Allyson had taught me that moving on was not forgetting or leaving Nola behind. I did the work—I knew I did—but she had healed my soul.
Taking a deep breath, I thought about Nola. I was grateful this was where we’d scattered her ashes; so were her parents. They visited us, and this place, often. So while there was no headstone, we didn’t need one. I felt Nola here. Heck, Allyson said anytime she wanted to strangle me, she came out here to ask Nola for advice and patience. Somehow, I could vividly picture Nola, wherever we end up, being absolutely thrilled with that.
Finally, I was ready. I said the words I’d been ready to share with her for three months but hadn’t wanted to say until we were here, though I knew she already knew.
“Nola, I wanted to introduce you to your namesake, Fionnuala. She’s only three months, but she’s just as beautiful as you were. And before you ask, it was Allyson’s idea. Heck, she probably came out to tell you about it. We’re not going with the nickname of Nola, though, because that’s yours. Instead, meet Fiona, or Fi. I know you will be looking out for her and Will. Showering them with your love. Please know we are sending some out into the world for you too.”
A warm breeze washed through at that moment, making the leaves dance and flutter as a group of starlings rose out of the trees and flew together just above our heads. And I felt her, I felt the love, and knew that I was no longer empty but filled with absolutely peace.
I tapped the trunk three times, then moved to sit down next to Allyson, who leaned over to pull Fi out of the sling and nurse. I pressed a kiss to her head, the baby’s, and grabbed a car to play with Will.
“Love you,” I said to Allyson.
“Love you, babe,” she said, reclining against the bench.
The starlings continued their formations and the sun beamed down. All was as it should be.
Acknowledgments
Good gracious, I thought book five, Starting Over, was difficult to write. The universe decided that was highly entertaining and set me back a step or two.
Before beginning this one I had a Zoom call with my editor, Sue, and remember telling her that the book was about Logan’s wife who had passed away, but he had already coped with the grief and was ready to move on.
Fast forward many months and Sue sent me a note after reading the book - what happened to low-grief storyline for Logan?
Life, friends, life happened.
I’d written about twenty thousand words of this book when my mother-in-law had two major life-impacting events. All of December and January of 2022 and 2023, this book sat in the computer, no words being added, as my husband and I learned about strokes and the recovery process. My mother-in-law moved from a month in the hospital to a nursing home, relying on their expert care when just weeks ago she’d been living independently: driving from place to place while moving through life like normal.
I remember telling my therapist it was strange to grieve for someone who was still with us, but also wasn’t.
What preceded and followed were some of the hardest and loneliest weeks and months, of our lives.
As of the typing of this acknowledgments, she’s doing great and has moved to an assisted living facility in town. I dedicated this book to her because I am in awe of how hard she’s worked to get where she is. Also, Logan’s story is forever shaped by hers. It changed this book because though my life is not in the books, the shadow of my life impacts my writing, always.
Thanks to the usual suspects for the ongoing support that surrounds me like a worn and comfortable blanket. Friends that listen to my concerns, writing colleagues that answer my odd emails, family that allows for my sporadic writing schedule - knowing when I decide to finally sit down, everything else falls to the wayside.
And thanks to readers. It’s weird to write and no longer be in my own bubble, but have people send messages of support, post beautiful reviews, or contact in some way. Writing is isolating. Thanks for making it less so.
All my love,
Kat
About the Author
Kat Ryan is a middle school teacher by day and a budding romance author in the free time she steals for herself. She loves to write about small towns, found families, strong women, and cinnamon roll heroes that love them. She’s a sucker for a HEA and more than a bit of steam in the stories she writes.
Kat lives in the Midwest with her husband and her two sons where she consumes a steady diet of coffee, chocolate, and romance books. And while her students and sons plan to never read the books she writes, her husband has and continues to cheer her on.
Want more from Logan and Allyson? Subscribe to Kat’s newsletter on her website, https://katryanwrites.com. All “extras” for each of Kat’s book are linked in the newsletter that comes out every month.
Also by Kat Ryan
Coming Home - Max and Emma
Finding Beauty - Sully and Maggie
Loving Ivy - Jake and Ivy
Follow Your Dreams - Nate and Elle
Starting Over - Drew and Kate
Kat Ryan, Running on Empty (Highland Falls)
