Snapshot, p.27
Snapshot, page 27
Ouch, but she’s not wrong.
“Yes, well, he’s going to have to get over it eventually, isn’t he?”
God, I love Mrs. Lewis.
The past few Thanksgivings have been spent alone, and it’s not really bothered me. This time, though, it fucking sucks. Mrs. Lewis texted me, inviting me to join them, but I politely declined. Winnie isn’t ready for that just yet, and I don’t want to ruin her holiday. I told her and Winnie I was thinking about heading to see my mom, but I’m definitely not going to be doing that. I haven’t spoken to my mom in months, and the last time was for her to tell me she needed her lawn mowed. Something I can’t do from three hours away, but she wasn’t asking me to do it. She was asking me to pay to have it done. Which I did.
I pull my stick back and bring it forward, sending the puck sailing right into the net.
Coach gave me a key to the rink after I became captain, and when I’m avoiding my problems, this is where I come to clear my head.
Slap shot after slap shot, but I swear time hardly ticks by. There’s so much going on in my life, but it feels like not enough. My girlfriend is pregnant, due in seven short months that I know will fly by, and we’ve not talked about anything that comes with that. Where we are going to live since I refuse to live apart. Winnie is going to need help, and I’ll be damned if I’m not that help. The baby is half mine. I’m going to do my part.
Ideally, I’d like to marry Winnie—not for the traditional aspect but because a lot comes with marriage. My life insurance, my savings, my last name. She’s not mentioned what name she plans on giving our daughter, but I really hope it’s mine—the name she will one day share. If she wants to hyphenate, that’s fine, I just want to be involved.
Winnie giggles every time I say daughter, and I don’t know how I know, but I just know that baby inside of her is my little girl. I can feel it.
What names does Winnie like? Honestly, I’ve not even thought about names, but that’s something I want to do with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, we never get the time to. I see her at practice, she comes over when she can, and we talk on the phone, but it’s not enough time to discuss everything.
Maybe it would be if every time I got her in my room I didn’t shove my dick into her immediately, but fuck if it’s not hard. She’s just starting to show now, and every time I see her swollen stomach, it cranks me, hard. Plus, I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy or what, but Winnie is nearly panting when practice ends. Last weekend I had to fuck her in an abandoned closet after the game because she looked ready to burst, and fuck if I’m not going to satisfy my girl when she needs it.
Then there’s the part I would never weigh Winnie down with, but my dad pops into my head every time I think of myself being a father. Winnie said I’ve proved that I’m nothing like him already, and she’s right, but it doesn’t make that fear of what I can become go away. When that guy knocked my girl over, everything besides making him bleed left my head. I’ve woken up in the middle of a nightmare a few times, where the refs didn’t pull me off and I killed him. As much as I would have liked to in that moment, what would that say about me? Nothing good. What kind of dad kills people?
My father, that’s who.
I pull my stick back, but instead of making another shot, I break it over my knee and chuck the pieces across the ice.
I hate who I share blood with, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
The thought of my kids growing up to hate me the way I hate my blood is crippling. This isn’t something I can share with Winnie, though, because she would simply assure me I’m nothing like him.
Winnie sees the best in me. I’m sure my mom saw the good in my dad at one point too.
I skate over to the bench and drop onto it, then lower my head to my hands.
“What a way to spend Thanksgiving.”
I jump at the voice, looking up at Winnie standing in the doorway. Relief floods through me like it does every time she’s around.
Winnie is my home. Safe, welcoming, and mine.
I open my arms, and she walks my way on shaky legs. She straddles me, and I bury my face into her warm neck.
“How did you know where to find me?”
“Sawyer.”
She pushes back and nods, and I follow and find Sawyer, Laney, Emma, and Schmidt leaning against the wall.
“What are they doing here?”
Winnie shrugs. “Sawyer and Emma’s parents are on some kind of vacation.” Like usual. “Schmidt snuck away from his family, and I don’t know about Laney, but they were all at the apartments when I went there.”
“You went looking for me?”
She blows out a shallow breath. “Yeah. I feel like the worst girlfriend ever, leaving you to celebrate on your own. I knew you were lying when you said you might go see your mom, and it ate at me all day.”
“You don’t need to apologize, Win. I know you’re in a tough spot.”
She shakes her head. “Not tough enough to have my boyfriend spend his favorite holiday alone.”
“You remember.” A grin tugs on my lips, and it’s funny how ten minutes ago, I didn’t feel like smiling at all, but two minutes around Winnie, and here we are.
“Of course I remember.” Winnie frowns. She sinks her fingers through my hair and tugs my lips to hers. “I remember everything about you, Reese Larson.”
I only get a small kiss, and then she pushes away, but I don’t think she wanted to.
“I’m going to tell Elijah soon.”
My eyebrows raise.
“But,” she adds, “I’m afraid he might kick me out. I’ve already talked to Laney and Emma, and they said I could stay with them.”
“No.” I shake my head. “You can come live with me.”
“I don’t play sports.”
“Neither does Schmidt.” Which I am still curious about how he ended up in my apartment, but whatever.
“Still, it wouldn’t be fair for your roommates.”
“Then we can start looking for our own place.” In fact, why hadn’t I thought about that sooner? We don’t have to live at the dorms after sophomore year, but there was no point in getting my own place and paying before. Things are different now, though.
“We can after the school year.”
“Winnie—”
She places a finger over my lips and giggles the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard. “Just listen. I’ll live with Emma and Laney, they will have a whole extra room here soon because their third roommate is transferring next semester. After finals, we will start looking, and I’m sure something will come up shortly because of people moving out.”
She’s forgotten one big detail. “You are due in June, Winnie.”
“I know. That’s why after the year, I’m going to move home with Mom.”
I open my mouth, but she is quick to cover it with both hands. “Only until we get a place. I told Mom today, and she’s so excited. She will love me and our daughter being there.”
“Daughter?” I mumble against her hands.
She smirks. “I decided to give in and listen to you.”
Finally.
She lowers her hands, and I suck in a breath.
“I love that you have thought everything through, but you forgot one thing.”
She tilts her head in the cutest way.
“How stubborn your boyfriend is. I refuse to live apart. The guys love you and will have no issues with you being around. If you want to live with Laney and Emma for a few months—until I get us a place and before school ends—fine, but I want your phone on you at all times and your location in case you need me so I can be there. Your mom can come stay the summer, hell she can move in with us, but Winnie, I swear to fuck, no one can keep me from being with you and our baby.”
Winnie sniffles, and before I know it, she bursts into tears. She throws her arms around me, and I squeeze her, but I’m not sure why she’s crying.
Eventually, she pulls away with red eyes and a quivering lip. “I’m sorry, I’m a mess.”
“You’re pregnant.”
“Yeah.” She sniffles again. “I spent all day trying to come up with the perfect plan that didn’t require your life to change much.”
Silly girl.
“I want my life to change, Winnie. Maybe other guys would feel differently, but I couldn’t be more excited to be a dad and play house with you.”
She groans and drops her forehead to my chest. “I can’t believe you remember that.”
“I remember everything.”
Winnie curls into my chest and places a chaste kiss on my throat just under my Adam’s apple. “I can’t wait to play house with you either, Reese.”
40
Reese
Flashback
“Where the fuck is my sister? We are going to be late.”
I shrug, not having the answer either. Winnie never takes a long time to get ready, but I guess tonight is a special occasion. I didn’t go to my freshman homecoming. Actually, this is the first time I’m going too. Elijah has gone the past two years, but he always brings a date, and I don’t feel like being uncomfortable in dress clothes and a third wheel all night. With Winnie not having a date, at least I’ll have someone to chill with.
Another ten minutes pass, and with each one, Elijah grows more impatient. In my opinion, the longer she takes, the less time we will have to be there.
“’Bout fucking time.”
I turn my attention to the front door, and my mouth drops. That’s Winnie? Looks like her, but doesn’t. Her long ginger hair is curled and pinned in various places. I’ve never seen her wear makeup before, but she is now. Holy fuck, she looks so… different.
“No fucking way my dad is letting her wear that.” Elijah throws his door open, and I do the same.
I hadn’t even looked at her dress, too distracted by the rest of her, but he’s right. What the hell is she wearing? The dark-green dress complements her hair, at least that’s what I heard her mom and aunt say. It’s short, hits midthigh, and small spaghetti straps hold up a top that shows an uncomfortable amount of cleavage. It’s not even a lot. Girls at school show more on the daily, but this is Winnie. It’s not that the dress is inappropriate, per se. But it shows way more of her than I’m used to seeing. When did she grow up? I swear just yesterday, Winnie looked like the same pip-squeak as always, all legs and arms. Awkward and boney, but now… well, she looks like a young woman. I don’t like it, and I definitely don’t like that other guys will be seeing her like this. We have most of the guys in school too scared to even look her way, but I worry this night may change that.
“She’s not wearing that!”
“Oh, stop it.” Mrs. Lewis chuckles while scolding her son. “Your sister looks beautiful.”
“Sure, but—”
“But nothing.” Mr. Lewis wraps a loving arm around his daughter and squeezes.
Elijah and I stop at the bottom of the steps. My mouth is dry, not having anything to say, but I can’t take my eyes off her. I can’t believe this is the same girl who spit on my face two days ago. She technically didn’t mean to, but still. She had spit hanging from her mouth, Elijah laughed and startled her, and it dropped on my forehead.
And now here she stands, looking nothing like that girl but so much like her at the same time. It’s confusing.
“I’ll be right back.” Elijah slaps my chest and wiggles his eyebrows. He mentioned maybe getting a quickie in before the dance since his date’s parents are gone all weekend.
“Yeah, sure.”
He laughs, and the door slams behind him. The radio croons one of Winnie’s favorite songs, and I turn it up and glance back at her. She’s been quiet since we got into the car after the photos her parents insisted on at her house.
“You’re not singing,” I comment. She flicks a blank look my way but goes back to looking out the window like the moody teenager she normally isn’t.
“Win.” I reach back and shake her knee. Something I’ve done a million times, but normally, she’s not in a short dress. Thank fuck I didn’t see anything. It’s already awkward enough, and the weirdest part is I don’t know why it’s awkward, but I don’t like it. “What’s wrong?”
She shrugs.
I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh. “Come on, Win. You know I hate the silent treatment.”
“Do you think I look weird?” The vulnerability in her voice is enough to make me feel like a pile of shit. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear her eyes are watery, too. Fuck.
“It’s not that you look weird. It’s just different, I guess. You know, we’re just not used to seeing you look like that.”
She scoffs and crosses her arms. “What? Like a girl?”
“Yeah,” I deadpan. “Exactly.”
“Well, I’m glad you and my brother finally see it because I am a girl, Reese.”
My eyebrows bunch, and I turn back to the front. I mean, I always knew Winnie was a girl, but she’s like a girl now. Whatever the fuck that means, because I don’t know. All I do know is it’s weird, and I don’t know if I like it.
“Maybe a guy will finally ask me out.”
My fists clench automatically at the thought. I know how high school guys are, and I don’t want that for Winnie. I want better for her.
“Yeah, maybe,” I grumble.
Thank fuck Elijah and his date come out not too long after. The air in the Bronco is thick with tension, and I’m gritting my teeth so hard they ache, still thinking about Winnie going out with some random guy. I was worried before she said anything, and then she mentioned wanting to get asked out. Why would she want that? I’ve been single my entire high school career, and it’s great. No drama, I’m free to do whatever I want on the weekends. I don’t know why she would want to have the worry about a boyfriend at her age. She’s still so young, despite how she looks tonight.
I could tell Elijah what she said, but I don’t think him biting her head off would fix anything. If anything, it would probably make things worse. It seems Winnie is pissed right now, and I think fighting with her would send her further down that path, and we don’t want that.
Elijah pulls the door behind me open, letting Calie climb in.
“Hey, guys!”
Calie is Elijah’s flavor of the week. Unlike his sister, Elijah dates a lot. This week it’s Calie Jones. Actually, he’s been dating her for a month now, I think, but I’m sure their course is almost up. She’s nice enough, I guess, but Elijah doesn’t like to stick to the same girl for long, so I don’t get too close.
“Hey, Calie.” I glance back but catch on Winnie instead. She eyes Calie with furrowed brows. Moving my eyes to Calie, I don’t understand what the look is for. She looks the same as she always does.
“Hey, Winnie. You look gorg!”
Winnie’s smile is the most forced I’ve ever seen from her. “Thanks, Calie. So do you. I love your dress.”
“Oh my gosh, thanks. They didn’t have my size, so it’s a tad small, but I made it work.”
“Yeah, she did.” Elijah pumps his eyebrows twice at me like his girlfriend isn’t currently giving his not even fifteen-year-old sister tips on how to make her tits look bigger.
I’m going to fucking stroke out by the end of the night.
High school dances are exactly what I thought they would be like. A bunch of girls trying to get guys’ attention, and guys doing their best to hide their boners as they grind against their date. I don’t know why I’m not like the other guys in my grade. It’s not like my dick is broken. I jack off like every other hormonal teenager, but the girls here don’t interest me.
Well, besides one. Fuck, no, I’m not into Winnie like that. Holy shit, but she does interest me in the way that she’s the only one I enjoy being around for more than a class period.
The only one I would choose to spend my time with. Maybe that’s why I’m not like the other guys; I spend too much time with Winnie and not enough trying to get to know my peers.
Speak of the devil.
Winnie drops into the chair next to me after returning from grabbing more punch. She plops her elbow on the table and her chin on her hand and sighs. We’ve hardly moved from these spots, other than to refill our punch. I can tell she’s itching to dance, she just doesn’t have anyone to dance with since her brother is too busy making out with Calie in the back of the cafeteria.
“This blows.”
“Yup.”
She falls back in her chair and sighs even louder this time. “I wish you drove, at least then we could do something fun.”
Actually, that’s not a bad idea. “I’ll be right back.” I push to my feet and glance around, making sure some guy isn’t waiting to pounce on Winnie the moment she’s alone. When the coast looks clear, I hurry across the room. Interrupting my best friend, who looks like he’s about to fuck in front of everyone, I tap on his shoulder.
“Dude.”
“Huh? What?” He pulls away, breathing hard and covered in red lipstick.
“That’s not your shade. But give me your keys.”
“Dick, and why?”
I nod over my shoulder toward his sister, and he follows my gaze and frowns. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, other than this is really fucking boring. I’m going to drive us around or some shit.”
He takes a step out of Calie’s arms and digs in his pocket before dropping his dad’s keys in my hand. I forgot we took the Bronco tonight; I’ll have to be extra careful. I know how much Mr. Lewis loves it.
“You break my dad’s SUV, and I’m throwing you under the bus, no hesitation.”
Calie tugs on Elijah’s tie, dragging his attention back to her.
I ignore her, hoping my best friend can stay focused for five more seconds. “When should I pick you up?”
Elijah shrugs. “We can catch a ride to the party. You’re coming to that, right?”
Shit, I totally forgot about the after-party. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Well if not, just drop the car at home and tell my parents where I am, would ya?”
“Yeah, later.” I take a few steps and turn back to find them making out again. “Don’t forget to wrap it!”
