Snapshot, p.6
Snapshot, page 6
His coworkers are huddled together, staring at the catastrophe that just occurred. I can’t believe I just kissed him while he’s at work. I can’t believe I kissed him at all, but especially in front of a bunch of guys who will no doubt make fun of him for it. I’m sure they know he doesn’t have a girlfriend, and I probably look like some weirdo stalker now. That’s if they didn’t hear our conversation, which I’m guessing they did since it’s now dead silent outside, not a single lawn tool running anymore.
Embarrassed tears burn the back of my eyes. Reese takes a step toward me, but I turn and book it to my dad’s truck before he can say anything that’s going to make it worse between us. I hope I didn’t just ruin our entire relationship. Reese and Elijah might be best friends, but I’ve always considered Reese my best friend too—at least the closest thing I have to one.
I slam the door behind me, but Dad makes no moves to go, and I know he must have seen everything. This couldn’t be any worse.
“Can you drive, please?”
He throws the truck in drive, and I let out a small breath. The tears I was holding back streak down my cheeks as Dad’s stare burns into me.
He lays a heavy hand on my leg. “Oh, Win…”
“Please don’t tell Eli. He’s going to be so mad at me.”
Dad chuckles. “I’m not going to tell your brother about your first kiss, Pooh Bear.”
The truck falls into a heavy silence. My stomach is in knots, and I can’t find the humor anywhere in this situation. I drag my arm under my nose and across my stiff cheeks. “I can’t believe I did that,” I mumble.
“Sometimes we do things without thinking.” To say the least. “I’d much prefer if you didn’t do that anymore, though.”
I peek over his way. He’s scowling, but there’s amusement in his warm eyes. At least someone thinks this is funny, because Reese definitely did not, and I don’t think I could laugh right now even if I were at a comedy show.
“At least not until you’re older.”
“I don’t think you have to worry about that, Dad. Did you see the way he looked at me after?” I groan just thinking about it. I hope this is something I can laugh about in a few years—or forget about altogether. If I had my choice, it would be the latter.
I pull my feet onto the seat and drop my head between my knees. Dad moves his hand to my back, and it’s comforting, but it does little to get rid of the embarrassment burning a hole inside me.
“He probably hates me now.” My voice shakes with emotion. “I think I just lost my best friend, Dad.” It’s beyond pathetic that I consider my brother’s best friend my best friend when he probably doesn’t see me as anything but Elijah’s little sister, but that’s the cold hard truth.
“I don’t know about all that, Pooh.”
I lift my head just enough to rest on my knee. “Why? You couldn’t see his face. He looked mortified. Betrayed even, maybe. Whatever he was feeling definitely wasn’t good, Dad.”
“Why’d you kiss him?”
“What?”
He repeats the question, even though I heard him the first time. I just don’t know the answer.
“I don’t know. I thought…” My brows furrow as I look out the window. Houses pass slowly, and I realize Dad isn’t heading home. These houses are on the opposite side of town to ours. “Where are we going?”
“I thought you could use a little time before we go home.”
I scoot across the seat and buckle into the middle one, leaning my head on his shoulder and breathing in his comforting scent of pepper and those cigars he doesn’t think we know he smokes behind the garage.
“I just wanted to kiss him, so I did. No real reason, I guess. I obviously completely misread the situation and am never going to kiss anyone ever again.”
Dad’s body rumbles with a low chuckle. “As much as I wouldn’t mind that, I think you just need to give it time. You’re still so young, Pooh Bear.”
I don’t tell him that I think I’m the only one in my grade who hasn’t kissed someone, but it’s true. “Well, older, younger, all I know is the next time I kiss a boy, I’m letting him initiate.”
I can feel his smile when he kisses the top of my head. “Smart girl. But remember what I said, not for another ten years.”
“Daaad,” I groan, a hint of a smile ghosting my lips.
He grins down at me and pokes my nose. “Okay, five.”
Right now, I don’t care if I ever kiss anyone again, so five years doesn’t sound too bad. “Deal.”
“That’s my girl. I love you, Winnie.”
I really lucked out in the dad department. Most girls’ dads, at least according to movies and stuff, aren’t cool to talk to about kissing or boys in general. Maybe it’s because he and Mom are so in love. I hope one day I can find a love like my parents’—a love that grows each day. A part of me hopes it’s with Reese, but I’m not sure if he’s ever going to look my way now, let alone marry me eventually.
A girl can dream, though.
8
Winnie
Present Day
No one is better at the silent treatment than Elijah. Probably helps I’ve seen him go weeks without uttering a single word. I, on the other hand, struggle to go minutes. At least Mason isn’t ignoring me, but he’s usually at his girlfriend’s, and when they are here, they are locked away in his room doing God knows what.
I sigh for probably the thirtieth time in the last twenty minutes. Mason glares at me, then at my brother, and after the next time, he drops his spoon in his bowl with a clang.
“Dude. Fucking answer her.”
“What, Winnie?” Elijah snaps.
I smile at Mason, but he doesn’t return it. “I could really use my big brother’s help with hanging my photo wall.” Cupping my hands, I bring them under my chin and flutter my eyelashes, but Elijah rolls his eyes, not paying any attention.
He pushes from the table. “Let’s go. This better not take long. I got shit to do.”
I don’t know what he has to do at four p.m. on a Thursday, but whatever. Things haven’t been the best between us since that party. I think we’re avoiding talking about it, and that’s fine. But he won’t talk to me about anything else, either, and it’s killing me. I can only call Mom so many times during the day. The last time I called, she told me I needed to make up with Eli because I was interrupting her day too many times. My mother should always have time for me, but apparently, that’s not the case. I guess she is adjusting well since my first few weeks here when she was calling me constantly. She might even be doing more now than she has since Dad died.
Seems everyone has an exciting life besides me.
We walk into my room, and I immediately start with the directions on where I want everything. I have three different corkboards full of photos from over the years; some I took, others I didn’t, but they are all great memories for me. They are the same boards that hung on my walls at home. Elijah even smiles at a few of the photos, but then he sees one that involves Reese, and it swipes it away like Swiper from Dora. But instead of stealing items, he is stealing good moods.
Reese was involved in almost everything growing up, so yeah, he’s in a lot of the images. Photographs are my favorite keepsake. People might forget why other items are sentimental, but they’ll never forget the moment surrounding a photo.
Like the one Elijah is looking at now. It’s the three of us in bathing suits from the time Mom and Dad took us to a waterpark. I’m probably twelve, so they would be fifteen or so. Big smiles on all three of our faces. We look so happy, and I remember just after this photo was taken, we went down the largest slide there, and Eli and Reese had to hold my hand the entire way down because I was terrified.
He doesn’t say anything when he turns away, and neither do I.
I step back to eye the third board, and after some adjustments and lots of arguing from Elijah, we get it hung. I consider telling him it’s off-center but figure it’s probably for the best I don’t ruffle his already ruffled feathers.
“What else?” he asks as he heads for my bed, where I have a handful of photos laid out.
“Nothing, I can get those ones.”
“I’m already here. Just let me help.”
He’s not going to like what he sees. And I know the moment he finds the photo of Reese and me because his jaw locks. It’s one of the few photos we took after the kiss. His arm is tightly wrapped around my body. He’s smiling at the camera, but I’m looking at him with so much love in my eyes it makes me cringe.
“It was so obvious, and I was blind to it.”
I don’t think I was meant to hear that, so I ignore it and head his way.
He picks up another photo, this one of just Reese.
As much as I would love to say the photo isn’t great, which I wouldn’t like at all since I took it, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. It’s a beautiful picture of Reese, and it won me the trip to New York. No matter how I feel about him, this snapshot gave me one of my best life experiences.
It’s black and white, which I don’t really care for usually, but it works in this instance. The harsh contrast between light and dark brings out every pore, shadow, and highlight so beautifully. It’s perfectly imperfect. And his smile is huge. I caught him off guard, and it’s obvious it’s a real smile and not forced for the sake of the photo. I still remember the essay I wrote to go along with it. Something about how even when all the flaws are visible, it takes a special eye to see the perfection. I guess that’s how I used to feel about him.
If I were to write the essay today, it definitely wouldn’t be like that. But seventeen-year-old Reese was different from the man he is now. He was sweet and kind and—
“You’re basically drooling,” Elijah growls and drops the photo. “I’m leaving, so if you need me, don’t.”
“Eli.”
He pauses in my doorway but doesn’t turn.
“I’m sorry, you know? That’s not how you should have found out.”
He pauses for a long beat before saying, “There should have been nothing to find out, Win. Not after everything.” He takes a step and mumbles, “I love you,” then disappears without letting me reply.
Reese is… Reese. And Elijah has every right to be mad at him right now for the other night, even without me telling him what happened after he left, but we will never agree when it comes to his hatred. He blames Reese for everything when in reality, he was a casualty of a really bad circumstance. It’s not Reese’s fault he was born to the worst person I’ve ever known. I’ll never be able to hold that over his head, and I wouldn’t want to anyway. Maybe there is a part of me that is protecting him, even now, but there was also a time when Reese was like family. As weird as it is to say. I can’t just erase him from my memories when he’s damn near a part of them all.
Ross and Rachel were on a break, and I don’t know why this is even a debate. That’s not an excuse for him to be a sleaze bag, but it’s the facts. What the argument should be over is whether or not they should have ever gotten back together. I would love to say absolutely not, no. But I’m weak and love them together. It’s not like it’s real life, so I can say that, but I also love those few episodes with Rachel and Joey. Though I’m not sure if I would have liked them ending up together. I don’t know, but what I do know is my mom ships Rachel and Pablo, and that’s the worst duo in the entire series, so at least I’m not like my mom.
Elijah left hours ago, and not too long after, Mason headed to his girlfriend’s house. I’ve been sitting on the couch with a pint of ice cream and a bucket of popcorn watching Friends ever since. This is my life now. Maybe I’ll gain the freshman fifteen and finally grow some boobs. If only I could be so lucky.
I’m in the middle of shoveling a handful of popcorn into my mouth when the doorbell rings. Frowning, I pause the TV, move all my snacks, and head for the door. It’s a little late to be having visitors. At least that’s what I think until I glance at the clock and see 8:01 p.m. It’s official, I’m lame.
I really need to get out and make some friends. Class starts Monday, and I’m hopeful I’ll meet some in my classes. I mean, we are in the same class, so we have to have something in common.
I peek through the eyehole but come up short when the only thing I can see is a giant stuffed animal sitting in the middle of the floor. Rolling my eyes, I tug the door open and look around because I’m not a complete idiot. This is the fifth night something has shown up on my doorstep, and I don’t have to guess to know who the giant Eeyore is from. If he wasn’t so annoying, I might smile. He always hated that nickname, but if I was going to be Pooh Bear and Eli was Tigger, Reese had to be something. It’s funny because now he and Elijah could switch nicknames since their personalities seem to have flipped completely.
The stuffed animal is honestly a little creepy, and I have no idea where he found a life-size Eeyore. Sighing, I take a step forward and pray this thing isn’t as heavy as it looks. But then I swear the leg moves, and I freeze.
My heart slams against my chest at an accelerated speed, but I take another step because I know it’s just my mind freaking me out. At least that’s how I feel until his arm moves as I’m looking right at it.
A blood-curdling scream rips from my throat, and I look around for anything to hit it with. Coming up empty-handed in the hall, I sprint inside and grab the first thing I can reach, which happens to be Eli’s guitar from Guitar Hero. He’s going to be pissed, but I start swinging, ramming it into the doll over and over, not caring if the damn thing breaks over this weird, possessed Eeyore.
“Fuck, stop! Winnie, stop. It’s me!” The head is ripped off, and I scream again. Reese stares up at me with wild eyes.
I’m tempted to continue to wail on him but figure I don’t want to go to jail, so I drop the guitar to my side.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
He climbs to his feet, still wearing the stupid costume. “I thought you would drag me inside, and then you’d have no choice but to talk with me.”
“You thought I would be able to drag your two-hundred-pound body, not including the weight of the costume, into my apartment?” I deadpan, giving him a look like he’s an idiot—because he is. “Are you drunk?”
“You’re still wearing your pants, so no.”
I think he’s trying to make a joke, but I don’t laugh.
“Too soon? Okay.”
“Go home, Reese.”
I turn for the door, but he beats me to it, blocking the entire thing with his stupid Eeyore body. “Come on, Win. I just want to apologize.”
“Go on, then. You don’t need to come in for that.”
He drops his head and looks down his nose at me. I think he’s trying to do my puppy-dog face, but he’s failing miserably.
“Fine. As long as you never, ever make that face again. It’s creepy.”
He moves, and I push open the door, letting him go first. I grab the Eeyore head and the guitar from the ground before following him in. Somehow, he’s already ditched the costume on the floor and is nowhere to be seen. I don’t have to guess to know where he probably found himself.
Stopping in my doorway, I try not to focus on how natural it is seeing Reese wander around my bedroom again. Maybe it’s the hockey shirt and gym shorts he’s wearing, or the shagginess of his medium-brown hair poking out from under his backward cap that is confusing me because, from behind, he looks so much like he did in high school. From the front, he’s more angled and sharp. A dusting of facial hair.
I drop my head forward and close my eyes. But he’s not, Win. This isn’t my Reese. It’s just so hard to remember.
“Your room looks the same. Except you’re missing the yellow walls.”
My parents somehow convinced me that my favorite color is yellow. It worked, because it is, but they laid into the Winnie the Pooh theme hardcore, all because my dad’s name is Christopher.
He stops at my corkboards and takes his time looking at every photo. Making comments about a few of them and smiling at others.
When he gets to my bed, he pauses, and I cringe, knowing what he’s looking at.
“This one started it all,” he mutters, then flicks his gaze up at me.
“What do you mean?”
“Everything, Win. The moment this snapshot was taken, our fates were set. It led to you kissing me. Which led to a year of turmoil fighting the feelings it brought to the surface. Led to the night we finally took that step.”
My stomach fills with a thousand flutters, as if ten thousand moths were floating around in there. I can’t tell if it’s a good thing or not. No, it’s bad. Remember the other night? He pantsed you and threw that night he’s referring to in your brother’s face like it meant nothing at all, and wasn’t the most special night you remember it to be.
“A night that never should have happened.” I reach across the bed and try to snag the photo from his hand, but he pulls it away before I can.
“Awe, baby, don’t say that.”
“Stop calling me that.”
He has the audacity to look confused by my request.
I rip the photo from his hands and glare down at it, my emotions swirling behind my eyes, but I’m not going to cry. “This photo didn’t set our fate, it altered our timeline. Without it, I never would have kissed you, you never would have gotten confused, we would have never hooked up, and that’s how it should have been. We messed it up, Reese. I messed it up.”
Reese walks around the bed and stops behind me. He’s not touching me, but he might as well be for how his body heat is warming my backside. With each passing moment of awkward silence that stretches between us, my stomach tightens to an uncomfortable degree. He’s so happy in this photo, and as much as I love it, I also hate it. I wish I could go back and take back that kiss. “Don’t do this, Win. Don’t tell me you regret anything, because it’ll kill me.”
It’s not fair for him to guilt me. It’s not fair for him to be making me the bad guy right now.
And yet, all I want to do is cry, let him pull me into his body, and accept what he is calling our fate.
