Edge of ready, p.8
Edge of Ready, page 8
“Ted,” she giggled. “He said he was listening to his mom and wants to get to know Benny. He thought maybe we could talk about it over dinner.”
“Then take Benny!” I was not happy.
Mom looked at me almost like she was getting upset. “What? You don’t want me to work things out with Benny’s father?”
I lifted my arms. “ Oh, no. Don’t you make this something I have to fix.” Suddenly I got it. This was what Keon was talking about. I was always fixing Mom’s problems. I was bending and almost breaking to make life work for her. I started laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Mom was confused.
I took a breath and looked at her. For the first time in my life I felt sorry for Mom. “Look, Mom. You figure this one out. I’m going to work tonight.”
“But …” I heard Mom’s voice trail off as I closed my door.
CHAPTER 48
Next
I found out later Mom did take Benny. It was a good thing. Mom could tell it would be a long time before Ted would be comfortable with Benny. She came home less excited. Reality hit her. He was never going to be her prince. But maybe he could be Benny’s father. Time would tell.
I, on the other hand, decided to move out. Mom wasn’t happy, but I was ready for the change. I told her I would help with Benny some, but she’d have to figure out the days I couldn’t. I wasn’t going to leave her totally hanging. But I also knew Grandma Grady would help out as much as she could.
I thought it would be easy to find a place to live. Wrong again. I soon found out I couldn’t afford to live on my own. Ruth was back at her place with her mother, who suddenly found more time to be home. There was no way I wanted to move in with them. Grandma Grady offered to give me a room. But I wasn’t ready for an all-white neighborhood. Then there was Eva. She had found a place on the other side of town with relatives. It would be faster for her to get downtown to her new job. I would miss her, but she said she’d keep in touch. I didn’t have any other friends I could move in with except Keon.
Something stirred inside of me. I missed him. I told myself that I didn’t want to move in with him. I told myself that I could live without him. I told myself that he was just a friend. But then I stopped. I smiled. I knew better.
CHAPTER 49
First Kiss
I stood in front of the meat section at the Market Place. “Hi.”
Keon looked up from putting turkey into the display case. He looked surprised. But in a good way. “Hi, Dani. What’s up?”
I looked around like I was looking for some meat. I was really looking for what to say next. “Not much,” I lied. I was bursting to tell him how right he was, but I was standing in front of other customers wanting their ham.
“So, you need some meat?” Keon asked, not knowing what to say.
I looked at him and smiled, “Do you have a special on, Keon?” I felt stupid after I said it, but it made him laugh.
He looked at the clock and said, “If you wait fifteen minutes, I’ll be out for my lunch.”
I nodded and headed to the benches at the front of the store. I sat next to a little old man waiting for his wife to finish shopping. He held a single rose in his hand. He’d spent the extra money in the flower section. Soon a little old lady with a freshly stacked beehive hairdo came up. The man smiled at her as he handed her the rose and took the groceries out of her hands. She smiled at him and kissed him gently. I watched them leave and whispered, “How sweet.”
“Sure is.” Keon’s voice surprised me. “Don’t see love like that often.”
We walked out the door and found a spot outside. The bench was nasty with gum stuck in the corners. But we sat anyways. It was hot, but I didn’t blame Keon for wanting a few minutes outside. We watched the old couple slowly walk to their car. I smiled at him. “I got a job at the Super Store.”
He gently shoved my arm. “That’s great.”
There was a long pause before I finally said it. “You were right.”
Keon played dumb. “About what?”
I gave him a fake mean stare. “You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?”
“Yep.” He crossed his arms and stuck his nose in the air. He was going to rub it in.
“You were right about my life,” I started. “I was stuck. I was living my mom’s life and not mine.”
I looked at him and smiled. “So I’m ready to move. You still need a roommate?”
Keon’s smug look changed. He was suddenly serious. “Are you sure?”
I shook my head and told the truth. “No,” I said. “But I’ve got to start somewhere.”
We sat in silence. Keon’s shoulders dropped. I could tell Keon wanted to ask me the question that hung between us. He just couldn’t find the words. Finally he said, “I’m just a start?”
I hadn’t chosen my words well. Keon wasn’t a start for me. I shook my head at the poor choice of words, “Oh no, Keon. I didn’t mean that.”
He stood up to stretch. I could see that he was trying to play it cool. I didn’t want this to be a replay of last month. He looked at me and sighed, “Then what do you mean?”
I stood up in front of him. Something about him always made me feel safe. “You are not my start. I really would like you to be my end.” I pointed to the old couple that was just now pulling out of the parking lot. “Like them.”
His look changed. I wouldn’t say love, because I always saw that. He had never hidden his feelings of love for me. This was one of hope. “Are you sure?”
I touched his face gently. “I am.” A tear fell down my cheek. “I’m just afraid.” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. “Don’t be.” He smiled. “We’ll take our sweet time.”
That’s when it happened. I had my first kiss. That first real one. The one that counts. The one that makes you feel like you are the most beautiful woman in the world. The one you hope will never stop. The one that makes you thankful you were born. The one that makes you believe nothing else can ever go wrong.
I wanted that moment to go on forever. I didn’t want to face the fears that were still ahead. But I felt different. I knew now that I was stronger. I knew now that if … I knew now that when I had to face anything else … I could.
L.B. Tillit, Edge of Ready
