Powerless trilogy 3 fear.., p.10
Powerless Trilogy 3: Fearless, page 10
part #3 of Powerless Trilogy Series
A bead of water falls from the dark sky, splattering my bare shoulder. He watches it roll down my skin before swiping it away with his thumb. His rough palm grazes my arm, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind.
I lift a hand, my fingers boldly skimming across his stomach. This seems to startle him enough to suck in a quick breath, and the sound has a satisfied smile curling my lips. The tips of my fingers trail higher, tracing every dip and groove of muscle. He seems to have stopped breathing.
My eyes lift to his, and whatever it is he sees within them has the Enforcer looking at me as though I’ve already become his queen. And some possessive part of myself aches to command him to never look away.
My touch travels lazily up his chest, fingers outlining the swirling tattoo etched above his pounding heart. The sky cries steadily above, speckling us with water. But Kai barely seems to notice, his attention fully on my hand now twining around his neck.
His sword clatters to the ground. Strong arms wrap suddenly around my waist before another drop of rain can fall from the sky. I’m being pulled closer, pressed flush against his solid body. With a tilt of my chin, he murmurs against my lips. “My pretty Pae. Tell me you missed me.”
Our lips brush, and I can taste his desperation for me. I smile.
My response is a swift hook of my foot behind his. With a firm tug, I accomplish something few have ever done.
I send the Enforcer sprawling into the dirt.
My voice drifts into the night like the cloud of dust between us. “I missed kicking your ass.”
“Oddly enough”—his smile is crooked—“so did I.”
He attempts to pull me down with him, but I dance away from his grasp with a laugh. “I have more Trials to train for. So no more distractions.”
“You started it, Gray.” He seems content to stare up at the starry sky, even as it cries steadily. “I was trying to keep my hands to myself.”
“Well, don’t,” I offer. “Fight me.”
My words have him sitting up solemnly, ignoring my request. “I hate that you’re being thrown back into this.” I feel his head shake. “You should have never agreed to these Trials.”
“Well, it was nice to have a choice this time.” I swallow my bitterness. “Besides, it was the only way. I mean, you saw how the court reacted—”
“Yes, because they want to watch you die.” He tears himself off the ground, standing swiftly to his feet.
“So I won’t,” I say, with much more confidence than I feel. “I need to do this. And if I die, then make me a martyr.”
“A martyr, Paedyn?” His laugh is void of humor. “Do you even hear yourself? Part of you has already given up before even starting.”
“I’m not giving up; I’m being realistic.” My words are clipped. I’m stunned by how suddenly this conversation escalated. “I could die—”
He closes the distance between us, pressing rough palms against my cheeks. “So damn the Trials. Pae, let me force every person in this kingdom to their knees for you.”
“This is so much bigger than me now.” I shake my head in his hold. “I have to do this.”
His hands slip from my face, wet with rain. “Just like you have to marry Kitt?”
The words hit me hard, as if we were fighting with our fists. It pains me, that look in his eyes. The one that pleads for a different, happier ending to our story. “Yes,” I whisper. “Just like I have to marry Kitt.”
He lets out a slow, steadying breath. I watch him regain his slipping composure. His next words are blunt, laced with defeat. “Fine. It seems you’ve already decided your fate. And I won’t be in it.”
“But I want you in it,” I force out. “We just need to be careful. Kitt can’t see us together. It… it will only make everything more complicated.”
“Right.” He stiffens slightly. “Pretend.”
“And if I want to survive this, I should train,” I add quickly.
Kai takes a step back, his head shaking. The movement is more terrifying than him swinging a sword at me. “If you want me to fight you, I won’t, Paedyn. I told you in that field of poppies how I would never do that again. That when I lay a hand on you, it would only ever be in a caress.” Raindrops drip from his lashes, but he doesn’t dare blink as he murmurs, “And I plan to keep that vow.”
A long moment passes between us, in which I attempt to fathom just how much he cares for me. And nothing has ever felt so right, vowing to never fight the Enforcer again. So I smile up at him, a bead of water sliding down my nose as I attempt to tease. “If you were sick of getting your ass kicked, just say that.”
The corner of his mouth lifts begrudgingly. “Oh, is that what you think?”
“Let’s just say I can sense it.” I lean in, whispering, “I’m kind of a Psychic.”
The last thing I see is a shake of his head before the world flips upside down. I squeal when he throws me over his shoulder, hair dangling and face angled toward the now-muddy ring.
“Did you sense that coming, Little Psychic?” he calls over the shoulder I’m currently slung over. I laugh despite myself, body swaying with each one of his steps.
“Where are you taking me?” I’m breathless and gripping the waist of his pants for dear life.
He’s quiet for several steps. “Somewhere even the future can’t find us.”
I smile sadly. “The willow tree?”
“The willow tree.”
CHAPTER 13 Paedyn
“So, how exactly did this happen, again?”
I look up from where I’m perched on the edge of the bed, struggling to slip my shoes on. She’s staring at the door currently occupying the floor before her, wine-red hair falling into her eyes. And when that skeptical, honey gaze flicks up to mine, thin brows quirk above it.
“There was…” I scramble to come up with a convincing string of words. “An emergency. Of sorts.”
“I see,” she muses, placing a hand on the belt of tools around her waist. “Well, the door should be back on its hinges before you get back from dinner.”
I smile, relieved. “Thank you, Andy.”
Ellie scurries about the room behind me, gathering the scattered clothing that litters the floor. It had taken us an unbearably long time to pick something out for my dinner with the king. In truth, the outrageous amount of nerves fluttering in my stomach had me stalling in the form of sudden pickiness over my appearance.
I stand at the thought, smoothing out the green fabric clinging to me. The dress is flowy and laced up the back in a way that makes it rather difficult to suck in a full breath. Attempting to avoid that concerning thought, I make my way over to where Andy now crouches beside the doorframe.
I watch her fiddle with the loose hinges, twisting various tools around the bolts. She lets me observe, fully knowing I should be halfway to the throne room by now to dine with her cousin. Instead, I ask, “Do you enjoy doing this? Being a Handy around the castle?”
She tucks a strand of wine-colored hair behind an ear. “I can’t imagine doing anything else. It’s… rewarding, in a way.” She flashes a smile over her shoulder. “Fixing something that was broken.”
I hum quietly, the sound unsure. The silver ring hugging her nose glints as she turns to give me a questioning look. “What? Does that surprise you?”
“No.” I shrug. “It’s just… you have so much power.” My eyes flick to her hair, remembering every burgundy creature I’ve witnessed her transform into. “And yet, you’re content with…”
“Being a lowly Handy?” she finishes with a laugh. “Most people are shocked. Then again, most people don’t realize there is more to life than power.”
My scoff is weak. “Is there?”
She tilts her head, the mannerism so like her dark-haired cousin. “I figured you of all people would understand that.”
I shake my head, smile sad. “For you, there is more to life than power. That is because you have it.” My eyes drift up the walls while her own remain pinned on me. “But for me… my life has always been about power. And trying to survive without it.”
When my gaze finds its way back to her, I catch the slight nod she offers. “Well, you sure had all of us fooled.” She offers a wry smile. “I’m impressed.”
“Don’t be.” A weak laugh falls from my scarlet-stained lips. “I was only trying to make it out of the Trials. And now I’m back in them.”
She stands, inspecting the other set of hinges. “You’ll be fine. Survive these Trials…” Her amber eyes meet mine, mischievous. “And you’ll get your power. You’ll be queen of Ilya.”
I study her, searching for any kind of distrust or bitterness lingering after those words. But I see nothing except factual indifference painting the sharp planes of her face. It’s relieving, looking at someone and not seeing hatred staring back.
I nod a thanks I can’t seem to voice before my feet find their way past her and into the hall. “It’s good to see you again, Andy.”
“You too.” She’s searching for another tool on her belt when I turn away. “Oh, Paedyn?” I whip around, dress swishing against my ankles. Her brows lower slightly over suddenly stern eyes. “Don’t hurt him. He can’t afford to break again.”
I swallow. Nod slowly. “I’m not planning on it.”
She seems satisfied with this answer, turning away with a small smile. I do the same and head down the hallway, my chest tight beneath the confines of this dress. I smooth a hand down the wavy hair curling around my ear, steps quick across the plush carpet.
A familiar head of red hair rounds the corner before easily stepping in time beside me. I barely glance at the masked Imperial. “Aren’t you supposed to be guarding a certain murderer?”
“Yeah,” he scoffs, “so you can’t murder her.”
My eyes find his. “Well, she’s alone right now.”
“But you’re not.”
I turn down another long hall. “What are you doing here, anyway?”
He presses a palm to his chest, putting on a show of offense. “Am I not allowed to visit you, Princess? I missed you dearly.” I give him a look that forces the truth from his mouth. “All right, so I had to take a piss. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have come and found you.”
I halfheartedly fight my smile. “Well, I’m on my way to dine with the king, so no need to worry about any murders from me tonight.”
“How reassuring,” he says dryly. “And don’t you mean dinner with your betrothed?”
“Right,” I mumble. “I forget what a happy couple we are.”
“Play nice, Princess,” he warns, leading me toward the towering doors of the throne room. “You’re not his queen yet.”
I smooth the skirt of my dress with hands that refuse to still. “And I may never be.” We slow beside the doors, and before he can convince me all will be fine, I pull him into a hug. He only hesitates for a moment, then folds his arms tightly around me. “I’ll see you after the Trial,” I whisper, if only to convince myself of that fact.
After several long seconds, I step out of his embrace. And at my nod to the awaiting guards, the doors swing open.
The throne rooms stretches out before me, outlined with the same white pillars I’ve been paraded between more than once. I lift my chin, walking alone toward the large table at the center of the room.
For once, I am here of my own free will, and there is power in choice.
The king takes a seat at the end of the sprawling table, blond hair tousled and green eyes smudged with fatigue. He offers a small smile as I approach. “Good evening, Paedyn.”
“Good evening,” I return, eyes drifting to the spread of parchment he shuffles into a pile beside his plate. “Am I pulling you away from your work?”
“No, it’s nothing pressing,” he answers dismissively. I watch him hand the stack of paper to a nearby servant who scurries away. “I came from a meeting with the Scholars.”
“Scholars?” I stop before the yawning table. “I’m sure they are aching to advise you on how this kingdom should be run.”
“They certainly are,” the king scoffs.
I can’t help but take a moment to admire his resilience in the face of those who mock it. Kitt has changed since I tore his life at the seams. Now, selfishly, I’m hoping he will allow me back into this carefully mended one.
My gaze falls to the food laid before us. The plate awaiting me sits at the opposite end of the table, shoving several feet of distance between us.
I must have let the confusion spill into my expression because Kitt sighs, “This is how royal meals are typically conducted.”
Nothing about his tone implies he wishes things to be any different. And that realization has my chest tightening. I don’t want our lives to be distant conversations and avoidant glances. If we are meant to rebuild the kingdom a tyrant king destroyed, I want us to do so together, not begrudgingly.
“This is ridiculous,” I say simply before picking up my chair and carrying it over to him. His expression shifts slightly, enough to portray a shade of unsurety.
I made us this way. I marred the relationship he meticulously cultivated. So it is I who will meekly extend an olive branch, raise a white flag between us.
When I’ve reached the space beside him, I let the wooden legs of my chair hit the marble floor with an echoing thump.
Kitt raises a brow. “What are you doing?”
“That”—I gesture to the opposite end of the table—“was how things used to be done. But we are changing things, yes?”
“We are.” Impressively, Kitt changes the subject with a gesture toward the piles of food before us. “Please, help me eat some of this.”
I blow out a breath.
He is not going to make this easy for me.
When the king reaches for a spoon partially buried within the bowl of green beans, a servant scurries from the wall to assist me. I hadn’t even noticed the several pairs of eyes lining the room until he politely waves her off.
Having left my plate and utensils on the other side of this absurdly long table, I stand to retrieve them before a servant beats me to it. She resets my spot without a word, offering a slight nod in response to my gratitude.
“Thank you, Mandy,” Kitt murmurs. “We will serve ourselves for the rest of the evening.”
The sound of her name rolling so easily from his tongue has my chest tightening. I had forgotten how well he knew the staff, how much he cared for every servant within the castle. Sitting beside him, I can almost see the friend I once knew. The one I betrayed.
I attempt a casual lightness that is now foreign to my voice. “This looks delicious.”
It seems I’m incapable of carrying on a conversation with substance.
Kitt scoops a generous portion of mashed potatoes onto his plate. “Gail knows this is my favorite food and has been making it for weeks.” He takes a bite that is quickly followed by a pleased nod of his head. “But I’m definitely not complaining.”
I pick at my own food, even while my eyes are stubbornly set on him. “She must have been so worried about you,” I say quietly. “I heard you were… not doing well.” When he meets my gaze, I hurry to add, “Which is completely understandable and most definitely my fault, but—”
His laugh cuts through my words.
He’s laughing.
It’s not quite a positive sound, but rather, one that is made at another’s expense. This is nothing like the laugh I witnessed between him and Kai. The sound quiets with a slight cough. “Take a breath, Paedyn. I’ve put it behind me.”
I still my fidgeting hands. “But you don’t forgive me.”
Silence swells between us.
His fork clatters against porcelain. I straighten at the sound, watching the king brace elbows atop the table that have him leaning closer. “I want this to work,” he finally murmurs, gaze pinned on the sparkling diamond. “This needs to work—for Ilya. For everyone. But that doesn’t mean we need to be anything more to one another than what we are now.”
My resolve hardens in the face of his disregard for this stagnant relationship. “No. No, I won’t accept that.” His brow quirks as I continue with a defiant, “I want to fix this. Us. We used to be… close. And I know it’s my fault we no longer are, but if we’re to spend the rest of our lives together, we might as well try to enjoy it.”
Kitt sits back in his chair, stretching the embarrassing silence further with a long swig from his glass. Finally, he deigns to mutter a chilling string of words. “You already have Kai. Why bother deepening our relationship?”
My heart thuds against a constricted chest. Silently cursing this damn dress, I manage a breathy, “Kai is not who I’m marrying.”
“But he wishes you were.”
I open my mouth. Close it. Try again. “Is that what this is about? Whatever… closeness you believe me to have with Kai?”
“I know him, Paedyn.” Kitt’s words are clipped. “Better than I have ever known anyone. Don’t think I haven’t noticed his smothered feelings for you. Even after everything.”
There is a bitterness in his voice that makes me pause. It’s the type that typically accompanies jealousy and quiet longing.
The king’s gaze travels over me, and my throat goes dry.
Thoughts swirl around my head, each one more absurd than the last. Kitt couldn’t still have feelings for me. Not after what I’ve done. But his words, his piercing look that strips me bare, say differently.
“Is that why you push me away?” I breathe. “For Kai?”
He almost laughs again. “Something like that.”
“You don’t want to hurt him by… being with me.” With a shake of my head, I scramble to gather the pieces of this dangerous game Kai and I pretend to play. “But there is no need to worry, Kitt. Whatever was between the Enforcer and me ended when he dragged me back here. On your orders.”
The king takes a breath at that, perhaps relieved by the reminder of an obeyed command. “Yes, I can’t say I wasn’t a little surprised when he brought you back to me.” His green gaze grows pointed. “He was yours, entirely.”
