Reckless, p.19
Reckless, page 19
I already told Kat about the night we spent in his truck and that there was plenty brewing between us, but I haven’t told her about the recent developments and the spider from hell that dropped down onto my unsuspecting naked ass.
So I fill her in on some of the juicy details. Nothing too graphic. Don’t want to upset her delicate sensibilities.
When I’m done, she smacks me in the shoulder. “How could you not call me immediately and give me the scoop?”
It crossed my mind, but I wasn’t ready to share it with anyone. “I guess I wanted to see how things went. If he really meant what he said about us being official.”
A teeny part of me was afraid he’d wake up the next day and regret it. Or that he’d want to backtrack. Reel things in before they got too serious.
Typical man reasons.
Not that he’s given me reasons to doubt him, but I worried the stress of his pending court date would affect how he’d view us. Like maybe he’d see me as another kind of pressure.
She nods knowingly and grabs my hand. “You’ve dated some huge jerks, but Ethan is the real deal. When he says something, he means it.” With a sniffle, she pulls me into a hug. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there that day.”
I laugh and hug her back. “That’s okay. I’m pretty sure I prefer Ethan saving me from that shower spider than you, no offense.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
Oh. She means the first time I had a run-in with spiders.
Lamely, I pat her shoulder. “Wasn’t your fault you couldn’t be there.”
“I hate that I missed out so much when you were little. I never thought much about it until recently, but it had to suck to not have Mom and Dad around like I did. And then Abuelita died, and I know she meant the world to you.”
At the mention of my grandmother, I tear up and decide we cannot continue talking about this. There’s no need to make her feel worse when she was a kid herself at the time. “Don’t beat yourself up, hermana. You’re already my hero.” Truly, she’s everything I want to be when I grow up some day.
Wanting to change the subject, I blurt out something that’s been on my mind before we both need therapy for our childhood.
“Can we get back to Ethan?” I can’t believe I haven’t asked her this before. “What was he like with his wife? Did you know Allison?”
She sits back and hums thoughtfully. “Not well. They came over a couple of times when we had our farmers’ fair, but she was always distant. Even with him. Definitely with the children. She never struck me as being particularly maternal. Not that someone can’t grow into the role of being a mom, but she always looked so irritated. Made me sad for Ethan and the kids. But when we’d invite them for dinner, he came by himself. And you could see he was trying to make her happy, but nothing seemed to please that woman.”
Twin vines of relief and jealousy sprout in me. Not that I wish Ethan or his children any pain, but it’s hard to think of him with his wife. Though it’s silly of me to want any of his firsts. He married her first. Had kids with her first. Lived his life with her first. Loved her first. My heart wallows in that thought.
If there’s any silver lining, it’s that they didn’t complement each other well. “So you weren’t surprised they were getting a divorce?”
“No way. I thought the writing was on the wall long before he told us she left him.”
Wait. What?
Hold up. Hold the fuck up.
She left him?
Why was I thinking he had filed for divorce? Especially after how she treated him?
“Are you sure? She left him?”
“Oh, yeah. He tried to get her to reconsider for months. Maybe that’s why it took so long to finalize the divorce.”
That shouldn’t change anything. Shouldn’t make me question what Ethan and I have developed, but my delicate heart doesn’t like this revelation one bit.
My sister must see the apprehension in my eyes because she shakes her head. “Do not freak out about Allison. She’s history, but since you asked, I wanted you to know that Ethan is the kind of guy who isn’t going to jerk you around. Look at how hard he tried to make his horrible marriage work.”
Okay, she makes a good point.
But something about the morning Allison found us in the truck niggles in the back of my mind.
For a woman who seemed apathetic during her marriage, she sure lost her shit to see her ex had moved on.
And that has me worried.
* * *
My sister conks out on the couch in a puddle of drool as soon as I’m done with her pedicure, but I don’t want to leave before she wakes up, so I cover her with a light blanket, do a load of her laundry, and fold a million adorable green and yellow infant outfits. She’s such a wench to make me wait to find out the sex of her baby!
I’m still folding clothes when two fuzzy arms wrap around my legs, and I whirl around with a muffled scream.
“Bandit, you scared the shit out of me!” I whisper-yell.
My sister’s pet raccoon holds up his little arms like a toddler even though he’s ancient in raccoon years.
“You are so spoiled.” I pick him up, settle in the rocking chair, and pat his fat butt while he snuggles against me. “Have you been a good boy? Hmm? I don’t think you’ll be allowed in the nursery once the baby arrives.”
Sighing, I mull over everything my sister told me this morning about Allison even though I know I should put it out of my mind. But how can I? I want to analyze it from every angle so I know what I’m getting myself into. Though it’s not like I can backpedal. I’m already in too deep, which is all the more reason to guard myself against that woman. How could Allison leave Ethan and those two precious children? I want to throttle her on their behalf.
Kat waddles into the doorway and smiles sleepily. “Sorry I passed out, manita.”
“No worries. You’re gestating. You need rest.”
“Want some lunch? I’m starving.”
I don’t point out that we ate not two hours ago. “No, I should probably get going soon, but I’ll be back tomorrow so we can shop for the nursery. Want me to make you a sandwich before I go?”
A huge smile lights her face. “You’re my favorite sister.”
“I’m your only sister,” I say, smiling at our familiar lines.
One second she’s laughing and then she’s hunched over in pain.
“What’s wrong?” I shoo Bandit off me and fly across the room.
“Just Braxton Hicks contractions. Nothing to worry about.”
I lead her over to the rocking chair and help her sit. “What can I get you? Some water? A heating pad? Should I call Brady?” Like a splash of cold water in my face, I feel like an idiot for not knowing more about her pregnancy. For not having researched all the potential problems or complications. She asked me to be close this summer for the baby, and all this time I’ve been obsessing over my own love life.
With a grimace, she waves me off. “No, no. Don’t bother him. He hasn’t seen his parents all week. Let them have their time.”
My sister is the most selfless person I know. If she could have this baby in her bathroom without putting anyone out, she would. I’ll text Brady just in case. He’d want me to. I also make a mental note to read up on the ins and outs of what my sister can expect during the last few weeks of her pregnancy.
I stay with her for a bit, rubbing her back to make sure she’s comfortable.
“Hey, speaking of parents, have you heard from ours?” I ask, because I haven’t in ages. I’d wanted to ask earlier today but since we got emotional, I figured I should table the topic.
“I swear they call me every other day. They’re so excited about this child.” She laughs and rubs her belly that undulates under her floral muumuu. “Oh! The baby is moving. Feel it.” Grabbing my hand, she places it on her tummy, and I smile even though I’m still bummed out about our parents.
Sure, at the beginning of the summer, I was reluctant to talk to them because I was afraid I’d get the usual lecture about not screwing up a new job, but when they never called, I can’t deny I was disappointed.
Deep down, I get this is all residual psychological bullshit from my childhood. My parents took Kat—not me—and left South Texas for months at a time while they did their best to get whatever migrant farm jobs they could. It may be irrational, but every now and again I feel like the kid they forgot about. Granted, they eventually found permanent jobs in Corpus, and we were able to settle down, but that doesn’t erase those early memories.
When Mila cries on my shoulder at night, telling me she misses her mom, I get it. I so get it.
“They never call me,” I tell my sister, feeling like an ass for bringing it up. I’m so bad at adulting. Sometimes life is like riding a bike with two shaky wheels that eventually fall off. It’s only a matter of when. Because if the past is any indication, my wheels always fall off.
“Seriously?” She frowns.
“Nope. Not since I moved to the ranch.”
“That’s weird. Are you sure?”
“Why would I lie?” I bite my nail, feeling like a petulant kid for not letting this go. “I think they’re still mad.”
“They’re not still mad.” She tilts her head like she’s reconsidering it. “Well, they can’t be that mad.”
I give her a look, the one that says, Come on. “It’s bad enough that they were so embarrassed by me growing up that they told everyone I had gotten a scholarship to St. Mary’s when we all know I could never swing those kind of grades.”
“You didn’t get a scholarship?” Her look of confusion is almost funny.
“You know I sucked at school. Do you really think I had the scores for a scholarship? It was need-based. Not for smarts. You got all those genes, brainiac.”
She scoffs, insisting I’m smart, but she has to say that. She’s a consoler. She wants to make me feel better. I finish biting my thumbnail.
When she’s done insisting I’m not a tontita, a stupid girl, I continue. “When I failed out of UT, Dad was livid, reminding me of all the sacrifices they made for me. How I was ungrateful. How all I did was get in trouble. How they should’ve sent you the little bit of money they had and not me.”
She gasps and covers her mouth. “They did not say that!”
“Swear to God they did. Ask them.”
“Oh, Tor.” Big tears well in her eyes. No, don’t cry. “They were just mad. I know they love you so much, and you mean the world to me.”
Those tears hurdle over her lids and careen down her cheeks, and I sniffle, feeling like I want to sob right along with her.
“Love you too, Kitty Kat.”
We hug, and she pats my head like she did when we were young and she’d pretend I was her life-sized doll.
“If it makes you feel any better, Tori, I’m proud of you. So proud of you. Of the way you regrouped after that jerk broke your heart last year. For the way you’ve worked your butt off on the ranch this summer. Babysitting kids is hard work, and not only do you do a great job taking care of them, those children adore you. And with the divorce, that’s even more important.”
Her baby kicks us both, and we jerk apart, laughing.
“I think that’s my hint that I should get going before we start crying again.” I motion toward the door. “But you’re going to let me plan your baby shower, right?” It’s getting late in the game, but my family is strangely superstitious and doesn’t want to jinx anything. I’m sure my mother has nearly burned down the church lighting candles for this child.
Kat fidgets, tugging on her top. “Um…”
“What do you mean, um? Didn’t I do a great job with your bachelorette party?” I rocked that shit like a badass.
She rolls her eyes. “I think my in-laws are still traumatized by those presents.”
Scoffing, I get up. “Pfft. You know that was an honest mistake. Anyway, who will ever forget that Christmas? Just think of all those special holiday memories!” It really was a mistake. Totally not my fault.
“Tor, I don’t think Nipple Nibblers sex cream screams ‘special holiday memories’.”
“You can use that as a lipgloss. Says right there on the package.” I give her my sweetest smile. “But you’re going to let me plan the baby shower, right?”
36
Ethan
A lone sliver of light cuts through the darkness at the bottom of the closet door. I’m so tired, I might fall asleep if the kids don’t find me soon, but I will my eyes to stay open.
“Ready or not, here we come!” my daughter belts from the other room.
Little feet go pounding down the hall, this way, then that, before Mila confers with her brother, who yells, “Daa-dee! We find Daa-dee!”
I smile. My kids are so stinkin’ cute.
A minute later, when the closet door swings open, I jump out with a roar, and my kids scream bloody murder and attack me with hugs and tickles.
With one child under each arm, I stomp into the living room, pretending to be a troll like that show they watch. “Who dares to cross my bridge?”
They giggle and squirm and screech until Logan and Joey run in from the other room and stab me with swords made out of old paper towel tubes and duct tape. Not sure when this game became ‘let’s hop on Ethan and beat the crap outta him,’ but we end up in a body pile on the floor with Cody wrapped around my head like an octopus, Logan giving me a wedgie from hell, and my daughter jamming her finger up my nose.
“I give up!” I’m laughing so hard, my gut hurts.
Suddenly, everyone stops and, like a family of meerkats, turns simultaneously toward the front door, where Tori stands staring at us with amusement.
“Tori!” My children release me and careen across the room, where they smash into her and take her down to the floor. Oh shit.
“Ohhhh, Toh-wee! Meees you,” Cody announces proudly as he sits on her. Aww, my little dude is telling her he missed her.
The woman left yesterday evening, but by their welcome, you’d think she’s been gone a week.
I trot over and help her up, so taken by her when our eyes connect, I almost forget we’re not doing any PDA in front of the kids. When did it become so hard to keep myself from kissing her?
“Guys, be gentle. Tori’s not your personal jungle gym.” She’s my personal jungle gym. Or maybe I’m hers. Doesn’t really matter how you break it down.
Once she’s standing and dusted off, I give her a wink. “How’s your sister?”
“Pregnant and emotional, which makes me not pregnant but emotional.” She leans back down to wipe something sticky off Cody’s face.
Funny how the thought of Tori being pregnant doesn’t shoot terror through my bones. Always thought after Mila and Cody, I wouldn’t want any more, but the idea of having babies with Tori makes me strangely open to the idea. If I can ever afford it, that is.
Tori would make a fantastic mother. She’s patient and kind. Loving and open-minded. Tender but passionate.
The idea of seeing her swollen with my child does something crazy to my heart.
Take it easy. You just started dating.
“Thanks for coming back to help us out. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”
My children bounce around us like a pack of wolves raised them, and she gives me that secret smile, the one that promises late-night touches and out-of-this-world sex.
Clearing my throat, I ask Joey and Logan to keep an eye on my tribe while I show Tori how the filing cabinet is organized in our office.
Logan snorts. “Sure, bro. ‘Show her around.’ Show her all the ins and outs back there.”
Joey smacks him in the gut and smiles sweetly at me and Tori. “We got it covered. Take your time.”
As soon as we’re in the office, I pin her up against the closed door. Her hands are in my hair. Mine are on her curvy ass. Our mouths connect, and somewhere in the distance, fireworks go off.
“Missed you.” I fist her hair and taste her neck. The curve of her shoulder. The sweet spot behind her ear. She smells like sunshine and flowers. Sweet and sexy and warm.
“Missed you too. So much.”
I pull back so I can see her expression, and she gives me that breathtaking smile that makes me feel like a goddamn king.
“If my kids weren’t awake in the other room…” I groan, hating that I need to stop.
“I know.” She heaves out a pained sigh as I put her down, but before I can drop my hands, she pushes up on her tiptoes and whispers against my lips, “But I’ll let you tuck me in bed tonight.”
“Promises, promises.” I smack her ass as I move past her. God, she’s fun. With her around, I almost don’t mind having to organize this pigsty.
* * *
“Do you want me to add this to your federal tax folder or do you have a separate place for your property tax bills?”
I look up from my desk and study Tori, who’s tied up her hair on top of her head with a number two pencil. She’s so sexy, I want to fuck her right now on my desk.
After a quick adjustment to my jeans, I motion for the bill.
“There should be a separate folder for this somewhere.” Rubbing my chin, I smile sheepishly. “Not sure where it is, though. Maybe check the second drawer?”
I’ve been feeling stretched so thin lately, the office was the first to fall into disarray. Because it’s not like I can ignore my children, or the horses, or my employees. But having Tori here to help me get this under control has made such a huge difference, I feel a weight lifting off my shoulders.
Logan strolls in, drops onto the couch, and covers his face with his forearm. “Your kids exhaust me.”
I ignore his whiny ass and continue paying bills. We’ve worked through the bulk of the mess. Tori rearranged the filing cabinet so it’s easy to find the business bills versus the house bills.
Eventually, the fatigue of working my butt off all damn week catches up to me, and I close my eyes, wishing I could sleep into next year, but as soon as the sun goes down, I need to get back out to the barn to finish up in there.
