Chapter Eight

  Kyle

  Nothing good ever came from the phrase ‘we need to talk’.

  My stomach raged war with the so recently devoured meal, pitching and churning and making the bathroom feel ten miles away. I followed robotically as Erik led me back to the sofa.

  Why had I opened my big mouth? I wanted to kick my own ass as I sat down next to him. Why the hell hadn’t I just taken this for what it was? A hot hook-up with my high school love who just so happened to be a successful actor. My brush with fame was a story I could tell my grandchildren someday—a watered-down, more G-rated version, naturally.

  Well, maybe my sister’s grandchildren, since I was fairly certain that this second encounter with Erik would ruin me for all men forever. The tender-hearted, immensely talented, soulful boy had not only managed to retain all of those qualities with his rising stardom, but also added this confident swagger that was beyond hot.

  Yeah, I’m done for.

  “If this was something that was going to be contained to a fantasy-fulfilling weekend, I could bank my…needs a bit.” He gave me a cheeky smile.. “Mostly. But, damn, baby, you are hot when you are obedient.”

  The late hour and three beers I’d consumed with dinner, mingled with the haze of lusty disbelief I had been wandering in all night, made my brain struggle to follow his thought process. “I-I’m not sure what you’re getting at here and I will admit I suck at playing it cool.” I stroked my thumb across the back of his hand and my gaze fell to where our joined ones laid on my thigh. “A-are you saying you don’t want a relationship? Or you do? I’m…confused.”

  “Look at me.”

  The sharp command immediately brought my gaze up to lock with his icy-blue one. He’d set his mouth in a firm line, his face an impassive mask. For a reason I couldn’t quite identify, my heart—and something a little farther south—seemed to like the change in his attitude.

  One by one he relaxed his muscles. “I want to, but I can’t have a normal relationship—for numerous reasons.” He sighed and squeezed my hand.

  Is it the distance? His career? My lack of knowledge when it comes to the finer side of life that he clearly thrives on? Was Marcus right that I just wasn’t enough for any man? Any one of those alone was a valid reason, but combined, they added up to a nearly insurmountable obstacle. Yeah, I hated the ‘we need to talk’ speech.

  Before I could assure him that I understood, he continued. “There’s the obvious stuff, like the fact we live over eleven hundred miles apart and the fact that dating me comes with a probable string of paparazzi. But there is something much more personal, something that is incredibly important to me, ingrained in the fiber of my being, really.”

  I couldn’t stop the nervous bubble of laughter from escaping my rapidly drying lips. “So far this conversation isn’t very comforting.”

  “Right.” He nodded, seemingly more to himself than me. “Let’s just rip this bandage off. After things started taking off in my career, I was floundering. Lost. I had relinquished every ounce of my autonomy to my agent and various directors and producers and…I fucking hated it.”

  There was nothing I could say because I couldn’t relate, not in the slightest. So I just continued to make circles on his soft skin with my thumb and waited.

  After a deep inhale, he finally got to the heart of the story. “The same friend who helped my little transformation suggested I could gain the control I desperately needed in my personal life. My relationships. All of that led to the discovery of BDSM and the revelation that…I am a Dominant.”

  Without any input from my brain, my jaw dropped and refused to close. Erik hooked a finger under my chin with a chuckle, lifting it for me.

  “Kyle, I’d love to try a relationship, to date you. We can make the distance work. I’ll fly up the first and third weekends and you can fly down on the ones in between. When I’m done with my current film, we’ll take a long vacation wherever you want. We can make it work. But, baby, I can’t change this. It’s who I am and it is probably the only part of me that I love.”

  His words distantly registered as I struggled to process everything he’d just shared. “So…you would want me to be…what? Your submissive? Let you tie me up and spank me?”

  Erik laughed as he released my hand and palmed my face. “Fuck, you’re adorable. Yes, there is a physical punishment side of BDSM and it’s both delicious and useful. But it is so much more. It is trust—you trusting me to make decisions, believing I will make the ones I feel are the best for you, to help you shine. A Dominant relishes nothing more than seeing their submissive gain the confidence and strength in their daily lives that comes from the limitless trust they’ve found in their relationship with their Dom.”

  Each sentence, and the passion with which he spoke, washed over me like a gentle wave. I moved a little closer to him. “I-I liked it when you told me what to do.”

  The truth behind the statement warmed my cheeks, but the brightening of Erik’s countenance dispelled my momentary embarrassment. His heated blue gaze blazed with excitement and…pride? He was proud…of me? Pleasure wrapped around my heart and soul like a fleecy, soft blanket.

  “This isn’t something you just jump into. You need to think about it, learn what it all means and what it would mean to you, but do you want to try it, baby?”

  Yes. The immediate and fully accurate answer was ‘yes’. I’d been intrigued by books I’d read with characters that were turned on by floggers and ropes. But what he talked about was so much more. His zealous and detailed description tickled at something my heart reminded me I’d always felt was missing. It spoke to the part of me begging to be healed.

  I clamped down on my bottom lip and peeled his hands from my face, holding them close to my chest encased between my own. “With you, I want to explore this, yes.”

  Despite what he’d said about emphasizing the trust more than the physical, I’d expected Erik to react immediately and have me on my knees while he turned my ass red. And I truly wouldn’t have minded. In fact, my dick rather liked the image.

  Instead, he led me to the bedroom, stripped both our clothes off and tucked me under the covers. He wrapped his body around mine, lining my spine up with his abdomen. Every curve seemed like we were made for each other. We fit together like a puzzle.

  I turned my head and looked at him over my shoulder. “I thought… I mean I-I expected we’d… Ya know.” I rolled my eyes. “The whole chains and paddles thing.”

  Erik laughed and kissed my temple. “Trust, baby. I told you this is about trust. You need to believe I’m making the right choices for you…and us. You’ve had to take in a lot and it’s after three in the morning. Neither of us is in the proper frame of mind to start down that path.”

  I laid my head back on the pillow and snuggled deeper into his embrace. Just as I shut my eyes, his hot breath hit my ear and sent a shiver down my spine. “But once the time is right, nothing will delight me more than finding a good reason to turn your ass purple with my paddle.”

  Chapter Nine

  Erik

  Short bursts of sleep were my norm. I was well used to late-night after-parties followed by photo shoots scheduled at dawn. So when the early morning rays slicing through the partially open curtains teased my eyes open after only three hours, my brain reacted by jumping to attention.

  Both brains. Because the southern one was nestled between a pair of juicy ass cheeks and it fucking knew it.

  I angled my elbow and propped my head up with my palm. The chance to gawk and ogle Kyle was one I was more than happy to exploit. I greedily devoured every inch from his dark, messy head to his broad shoulders to the rosy nipples peeking out above the stark white sheet that made his tan skin appear even more golden.

  Fuck… What I wouldn’t give to put clamps on them right now and open his world to the beauty I’d found in mine.

  My breath hitched as our conversation from just a few hours earlier replayed in my mind. He wanted to know more. He might not fully understand all of what that would entail, but he was interested, intrigued and clearly turned on by the concept, based on the lusty look in his eyes when we’d been talking.

  To be honest, even I wasn’t sure how this would play out. I’d been part of the BDSM lifestyle for years, but every encounter had been casual. I’d never found a partner willing to add this to our relationship.

  But now I had Kyle. There would be no fucking doubt I had him. He had been mine from the moment our lips had touched. I’d wanted him since high school and I was getting a priceless second chance with the added benefit of testing the waters of a full-time Dom/sub dynamic.

  More than that, even, he was someone I could picture spending twenty or thirty years with and never growing tired of. He calmed and centered me. I already sensed the stability in him that my chaotic world needed. That I needed.

  I pinched my cheek, certain this was a dream. If I didn’t already have an embarrassing number of zeroes rounding out my bank account, I’d play the lottery.

  I caved to the temptation pressed against me. I leaned forward and made a path down the column of his neck with my mouth, pausing for a moment to suck at the soft flesh leading to his shoulder. And bite. Because…mine.

  He tightened his grip on my hand that he held against his chest and let out a soft gasp. I grinned, disentangling my fingers from his and moving them slightly to pinch the little pebble that had been taunting me all morning.

  I licked my way back up to his ear, tracing the shell. “Good morning, baby.”

  He whimpered and I nearly fell to pieces at the beautiful sound. How this man knew to speak to every part of me when he didn’t fully understand my world yet was beyond me, but damn, he was good.

  The icy hand of doubt tinged with fear curled around my stomach, holding it in an iron grasp. With a final squeeze—because I really couldn’t resist—I relaxed my fingers and stroked them gently across his chest. “Do you remember everything we talked about last night? Is this something you’re still interested in? It’s always okay to say no. Anytime. I’ll never be mad at you for setting a boundary.”

  He nodded against the pillow and I cursed the fact that I couldn’t see his eyes. My ability to read subs under my control was a point of pride to me, but that was largely based on seeing their face, their expressions and listening carefully for any change in tone.

  I sank my teeth into the lobe of his ear. “Words, baby. I need your words.”

  Kyle arched his back and rubbed his ass against my painfully growing hard-on. “Yes, I remember and yes, I still…w-want to try. To learn. With you.”

  We needed to talk, build our foundation and set ground rules and guidelines.

  But first I needed him, because he was fucking mine.

  I dragged his grumbling and whining self into the bathroom, dug through my small toiletry case for the extra toothbrush my brilliant assistant always made sure to pack for me, and coated it with toothpaste. I shoved it into his hand and repeated the action with my own, attacking my pearly whites with vigor.

  A swish and spit later, I grinned at Kyle in the mirror before dropping to my knees. I was dying to see how obedient he could be.

  He stepped back from the sink, brush hanging out of his mouth, gaping down at me and inadvertently giving me enough room to slide in front of him. Smart boy.

  I wrapped one hand around his velvety shaft, already erect, and palmed his balls with the other. “Keep brushing. Every single one. And floss, for good measure.” I ran my tongue along the length of him, teasing the slit. “Oh…and, baby?”

  He tried valiantly to focus on his task, despite the obvious shaking of his hand. “Yeth?” His garbled response widened my smile. He was a very quick learner.

  “You can’t come until I have you on the bed.”

  Kyle frowned, but he obediently returned his attention to the mirror in front of him with minimal indecipherable, mumbled complaints.

  My dick responded just as immediately. His unquestioning acquiescence to my instruction was a heady sensation. There was no bigger turn-on for me than having a compliant man follow my every order with unwavering trust, but when that man was Kyle? I was embarrassingly close to coming, just from that simple act.

  His stuttering gasps in response to me gliding my lips up and down his dick made my own ache. He was dangerously delicious and I wouldn’t be able to torture him as long as I would like. I curled my tongue around his shaft before I moved farther up and sucked on the head.

  When he spit into the sink, gripped the edge of the counter and dropped his head toward his shoulders, I popped him free. I stood clumsily, hoping to hide some of the effect he held over me. Never before had a play partner tested my own resolve.

  “On the bed. On your back. Hold the headboard and don’t let go.”

  The stumble as he made his way into the next room brought the grin back to my face as I followed him. I stopped at my suitcase, open in the overstuffed chair along the opposite wall, and retrieved a condom and lube.

  When I turned back to face the bed, the smartass comment I had been prepared to voice died on my lips. Stretched across the rumpled crimson comforter and white cotton sheets lay my every desire. Kyle Lincke. Naked. Vulnerable. Willing and waiting.

  For me.

  The weeping that escaped the head of my cock could be easily explained. The man was physical perfection with finely sculpted lean muscles covered by flawless, tan skin.

  The band that wrapped around my chest, gradually tightening as I drank in the specimen laid out before me, was far more insidious—and something I was desperate to explore. Later.

  I crossed the Oriental-rug-covered floor and climbed on the bed with him. He gasped as I squirted some of the slick lube on his tightly puckered hole, teasing him with first one coated finger then two. When I inserted the third digit, he arched his neck and pushed his head deeper into the pillow.

  My own patience nearly expired, I sheathed my cock, covered it in a layer of the oily liquid and slid inside him in one smooth stroke. Our groans mingled in the thick, lust-filled air. I leaned forward, melding my lips to his.

  We finally broke apart, both of us breathing heavier with each thrust. “Do you want to come for me, baby?”

  He kept his arms exactly where I’d told him, despite the obvious tremor rolling through them. Perfect. “Y-yes. I fucking need to come. Y-your dick feels so fucking good.”

  I dangled on the precipice, the emotional and physical connection we’d managed to build in such a brief time sending me to a height I’d never reached before, threatening to plunge me into a deeper sea of pleasure than I’d known.

  “Come, baby.” I managed to gasp the words out before my own orgasm claimed me and I roared with the epic release, vaguely aware of his matching cries.

  I collapsed on the bed beside him, satiated and too exhausted to even care about removing the condom just yet. As my breathing slowly regulated, I rotated my head on the pillow. His dark lashes rested against his flushed cheeks. I opened my mouth to check in. We were barely dipping our toes in, but that didn’t negate the importance of aftercare.

  But before I could utter a word, he turned to meet my gaze and gave me a small smile that settled any lingering concern within me. “Can I let go of the headboard now…Sir?”

  Chapter Ten

  Kyle

  “Don’t you think it’s safe to take the hat off?”

  Before we’d left for our impromptu afternoon hike, Erik had given me a quick lesson on fame, which included the need to be somewhat disguised. He had said anything too obviously fake would draw unwanted attention and that side exits were a gift. But now, after a brief stop at my house for hiking-appropriate clothes for both of us, we were two and a half miles up the mountain, sitting beneath a towering red cedar. I selfishly loved staring at him, reminding myself this wasn’t just a dream.

  All too soon the real world would settle on our two very separate doorsteps. I allowed myself the pleasure of drinking in every part of him, from the black hair he ran his fingers through after removing the hat to the long, muscled legs stretched out on the ground in front of him, crossed at the ankles.

  “What happens next?” From my brain to my mouth the words tumbled without a filter. Nice one, dumbass, I winced with the self-deprecating epithet. I hadn’t deserved someone as bright and talented in high school, and if I kept this shit up, I sure as hell wouldn’t convince him to take a chance on me now.

  He offered me a sexy-as-hell smirk. “Pretty sure we gotta go back down the mountain, baby.”

  Each time he said the term of endearment, as generic as it may be, my heart squeezed in my chest. No one had given me a special name before. Hell, we’d managed to achieve a level that felt so much deeper than what I’d had with Marcus in a much shorter window of time. I wasn’t sure if things were easier between us simply because we were rekindling our unrequited adolescent feelings or because we had the unique and interesting facet of a Dom/sub dynamic that we were exploring. Together.

  I grabbed a stick from the ground and turned my attention to making random patterns in the dirt. We weren’t exploring together, not really. I was exploring. Learning. Discovering. He was an expert. I was desperate to find out how many he’d had before me this way, as well as to avoid the very notion.

  He gripped my chin in a firm, but not painful grasp and rotated my head to face him. “First, you are entitled to secrets. This isn’t about losing your autonomy. That said, you aren’t allowed to drown yourself in needless worry or self-conscious thoughts without addressing them to me. Understand?”

  It was impossible to pinpoint, but everything about the man had morphed from his mildly cocky boy into a confident, self-assured man who I couldn’t help but respond to immediately. I nodded as much as I could within the confines of his grasp.

  He arched a single brow. “Words, Kyle.”

 

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