Wind river rancher, p.8
Wind River Rancher, page 8
Instantly, Reese’s gut clenched. “No,” he growled. “What happened to Shay?”
“I managed to drag it out of her over the past six months,” Garret groused. “Man, she’s tighter than Fort Knox when it comes to giving up personal intel on herself. I pride myself on being black ops, but she puts me to shame. I’d ask her a question and she’d dance around it. I’d time it such that I wasn’t pressuring her, and she began to trust me enough to tell me a few things.”
“Like what?” Reese closed his hand over the ledger, staring at the scowling vet.
Garret lifted his head. “She’s been abused. That much I know. I guess her mother, Wanda, was verbally abused by Ray until she died of breast cancer. When Shay was about eight, her father started picking on her when the mother was too ill to protect her any longer.” He sighed and shook his head. “The bastard.”
“What kind of abuse?” Reese asked in a low tone.
“Shay wasn’t specific. Said Ray was always putting her down. Telling her because she was a girl, she was nothing. He told her he wished she was a boy. He wanted a son, not a daughter.”
Clenching his teeth, Reese stared at Garret.
“I asked her once if he’d ever hit her, and she grew real quiet but wouldn’t say anything. When you looked in her eyes, you could tell. I can’t prove it because she didn’t admit to it,” Garret said. “One time, when she opened up a little to me, she was in a philosophical mood. Shay said she’d left one war zone for another.”
“What did she mean by that?”
Garret shrugged. “That maybe Ray made living under his roof a war zone for her and her mother? And she joined the Marine Corps at eighteen and got sent off to the Middle East, to another war or two.” And then he gave a shake of his head. “My old man’s an alcoholic, too. Not something I’m proud of, but when I told Shay that, she started being even more open,” he muttered. “My old man beat the shit out of me. He’d go after my mother and I’d wave him off, get him to come after me instead.”
Reese heard the pain in Garret’s deep voice, saw the shame in his eyes. “He still alive?”
“Yeah. So’s my mom. You don’t know how many times I begged her to leave him. She wouldn’t. Blows my mind.”
“So when the Army discharged you, did you go home?”
Sneering, Garret said, “Only long enough to hug my mother, pick up my clothes and my gear. My mom is a shadow of herself. There’s nothing I could do. So, I left. It’s a lousy situation. I don’t understand women. I don’t understand my parents’ marriage, if you could call it that.”
Reese gave him a sour grin. “You have a lot of company.”
Grunting, Garret muttered, “Well, Shay, in my opinion, has been abused physically and verbally. That’s my two cents’ worth, based upon my own experience.” He flexed his thick-knuckled hand. “I’d like to punch Ray Crawford out, but he’s sick and he’s not gonna get better. The worst of it is that Shay visits him three times a week. Today was one of those days. You saw how she was when she got back. The old man takes her apart with his mouth and his uncontrollable rages. He blames her for everything that’s happened to him and this broken-down excuse of a ranch.” He sighed heavily and stared across the desk at Reese. “She does so much for us. She gives us the shirt off her back to make ends meet and to give us a safe place to heal up.”
“But she isn’t safe,” Reese said quietly. “If she has to see that father of hers, it’s like someone opening a wound three times a week. Why hasn’t someone gone with her? Protected her?”
“Believe me, the three of us, once we realized what was going on, wanted to. Harper really got into it with Shay. He accused her of enabling her father by letting him continue to verbally abuse her. Told her she should walk away from him and not see him again. Man, she got furious with him. I’ve never seen her so angry.”
“But Harper was right,” Reese said darkly.
“Yeah, damn straight. In my book, Harper was dead-on.” Garret tilted his head. “You got a decent set of folks, Lockhart?”
“Yes, I do.”
“If I coulda been discharged to return to a good home, I’d sure have liked to. As it was, I became a bum walking the railroads, hitching rides on boxcars, living off the land and going deeper and deeper into quicksand by the year.” He looked around the small office. “Until Shay found me down-and-out.”
“Shay picks up us strays,” Reese agreed, his voice low with feeling.
“Why didn’t you stay home, Bro?”
“I tried. But all I did was make it hard on my folks.”
“What? Nightmares? Flashbacks? PTSD?”
“All of those things. I was causing them to lose sleep. My mom worried a lot about me. My father wanted to fix what was wrong with me.” Reese smiled halfheartedly, remembering those emotional conversations with his caring parents. “I couldn’t put it all into words. I couldn’t tell them what I’d seen, what I’d survived when others didn’t . . . You know how it goes.”
“Yeah, I do. Ten years in black ops fried my soul.” He ran his hands down the arms of the chair. “I was so far down when Shay found me, I didn’t think I was going to make it back up to the surface. I’d given up. I wasn’t doing drugs or drinking like my old man. I—didn’t know where to go. I’d just given up.”
Reese heard his pain. “I was heading there myself.”
Garret smiled a little mischievously. “Too bad Shay isn’t here to hear us talking about this shit. In our Friday-night gabfests, we’re supposed to open up and talk, but you know how vets close down. We can’t talk about it.”
Reese chuckled a little. “Yeah. Been there, done that. She told me about it, but I don’t know . . . I couldn’t even talk to my parents.”
Nodding, Garret stood. “Listen, I’m going to hang my ass out on a long limb that could break off on me, but I think you need a heads-up, Lockhart.”
Reese looked up at him, puzzled. “What?” He saw the seriousness in the vet’s face, his hazel eyes somber.
“Shay likes you. Do you realize that?”
Stunned, Reese blinked. “What the hell are you talking about?” His heart started to pound in his chest.
“I’m black ops. I’m trained to see little things everyone else misses,” Garret said in a low tone. “Shay behaves differently around you.”
“I just got here. I’m a stranger to her.”
Rubbing his jaw, Garret said, “Doesn’t matter. She’s not in a relationship, Lockhart. She’s alone. The three of us try to be her friends, but she needs something more than what we can supply.”
Reese looked away. “I’m a bad bet. You know that.”
A grumbling laugh filled Garret’s massive chest. “Oh, we’re all losers, no question. There ain’t a woman who’s gonna give us a second look.” He waved his hand toward the door. “But there’s something in Shay’s eyes when she’s looking at you. She’s interested in you, Bro.”
“Christ,” Reese said, shaking his head. “I don’t need this . . .”
“Hey, she’s a damn fine-looking woman. You have to agree with that. And she could do a helluva lot worse than falling for you. If you ask me, she’s better off with a vet. At least we’ll protect her and stop this shit that’s happening to her because of her father. Plus, she deserves a good man.” Garret’s eyes gleamed. “And you’d make a good partner for her in my estimation.”
Chapter Six
Shay couldn’t sleep. Tossing and turning was something she was too familiar with, so she got up. Max followed her and took his place near the couch in the living room, watching over her. Out in the kitchen, she put on the kettle to make herself some tea. The clock on the stove read 2:00 A.M.
Rubbing her burning eyes, she kept on the stove light only, and tried to be quiet so she wouldn’t disturb Reese. Her faded fuzzy red slippers, which were nearly five years old, shushed across the cedar floor as she put a napkin and spoon on the table. The quiet felt good, embracing her. Max came and lay on his dog bed in the corner, curling up, watching her with large brown-gold eyes.
“Shay?”
Shay jerked around, gasping, her hand flying to her throat. “Oh, God! You scared me!”
Reese gave her a sheepish look, standing uncertainly in the entrance.
Her heart banged away in her throat as she stared at him with wide eyes. He was dressed in a pair of dark blue pajama bottoms, a tan T-shirt covering the expanse of his broad chest. Shay couldn’t help but think he looked like a sleepy-eyed young boy in that moment, his hair mussed, eyes puffy from sleep. “I-I must have woke you. I’m sorry, I tried to be quiet.”
He shrugged. “I’m a light sleeper by nature,” he murmured, wiping his eyes with the heels of his hands. “Are you okay?”
Her heart warmed in her chest. “Yes . . . fine.” She gestured toward the stove where the kettle was beginning to whistle. “I get nights like this. Do you want to share a cup of tea with me? Or would you rather go back to bed?” She saw his well-shaped mouth curve faintly as he studied the teakettle.
“Not much of a tea drinker, but I’ll give it a try. If I drink coffee now, I’ll be up the rest of the night.”
“Go on over to the table. I’ll fix two cups.” Shay was glad he was here with her. Reese took her mind off her worries. She covertly watched him stroll to the table on his large bare feet and sit down, taking the chair he used all the time. Smiling a little, she took down a second mug, placing it on the counter, hearing the scrape of the chair against the floor.
“Do you get nights like this often?” Reese asked, folding his arms on the table. The light from the stove silhouetted Shay’s figure, hidden in a fleecy yellow nightgown that fell to her slender ankles. It might be shapeless, but he knew she wasn’t. The scruffy-looking red slippers on her feet made Reese smile a little. It was an endearing picture of her and he tucked it away in his heart. Her hair was tangled around her shoulders, but on her, it looked inviting. Sexy.
“Some nights I can’t sleep,” she murmured. Turning, Shay brought the tea over, placing one mug in front of Reese and sitting down at the head of the table. She felt her anxiety dissolving. It always did when Reese was nearby. “I’m sorry I woke you.”
“Any sound out of the normal ones,” he told her wryly, dipping the tea bag into the steaming water, “and I snap awake. Too many years in the Corps and the threat level high and constant.”
“Our military sixth sense going online,” she muttered, frowning. “I wish I could make it go away. Or reduce it somehow.”
“I don’t think it ever goes away,” Reese murmured. He put the used tea bag on a saucer she’d provided between them. Reaching for the sugar, he poured a spoonful into the mug.
“I try all sorts of things to get to sleep,” she groused. “None of them work. Taylor Douglas is the only doctor in Wind River. She’s a physician’s assistant and says it’s my PTSD. I guess I could cave in and take sleeping pills on those nights, but I hate taking anything like that. I know it’s necessary sometimes, but I don’t want to become dependent upon them. Taylor is doing research on PTSD right now and is studying under a Dr. Sam Cooper, from Jackson Hole. He’s teaching a six-month course on how to cure some of the PTSD symptoms, and she’s learning a lot. I told Taylor the moment she graduates, I’m going to be on her doorstep for the treatment. She said it is alternative medicine and does not involve taking prescription meds.”
Reese gave her an admiring look. “Yeah, I steer away from any kind of drug use, too. Keep me informed on this training she’s getting. I’d like to know more about it.”
“Oh, don’t worry. Once I try it out, and if it works, I’m going to be shouting at the top of my lungs. I’ll get the guys to go and get treated by Taylor. I live sleep-deprived, and I’m at my wit’s end trying to stop it.” Shay gave him a softened glance. “I’m sure you have some sleepless nights, too.”
“Yes,” he said with a nod. “The very survival mechanisms that saved us from getting killed over in Iraq or Afghanistan now work against us in peacetime.”
Wryly, she nodded. “That’s true. My whole system has become wired for survival. Everything over there was a threat. I felt raw at times, but I knew I had to stay alert, stay on guard, or I could be the next person to step on an improvised explosive device.”
“I know,” Reese agreed fervently, sipping his tea. His brow wrinkled. “What is this brew?”
“Chamomile,” Shay said. “It helps calm the nervous system.” She lifted her cup and sipped from it. “It’s about the only thing that helps me eventually go to sleep.”
“Did you have a nightmare?”
“No. I used to get them almost every night, but since being home”—Shay looked around the quiet kitchen—“and with my attention elsewhere, they’ve slowly been going away. For that, I’m grateful.”
Nodding, Reese held the spoon in his hand, moving it between his fingers. “You want us to share our military experiences, but have you ever shared yours?”
“No, not too much.”
“Why not?”
“Because this isn’t about me, Reese. It’s about all of you. Getting you on a more stable, day-to-day routine so you can start healing.” Shay pushed strands away from her cheek. “A daily rhythm in a person’s life is essential. And I know you haven’t been here long, but you’re intelligent and you can see how Garret, Noah, and Harper are blooming.”
“What kind of shape were they in when they arrived here?”
“A lot worse shape than you’re presently in. Just as underweight, and they had malnutrition issues. They all had horrible nightmares and flashbacks. Now”—she sighed, giving him a satisfied look—“not so much. I mean, they still get them, but not as often.”
“That’s a godsend in itself,” Reese agreed.
“They’re rebuilding their self-esteem, their confidence and belief in themselves,” Shay said quietly, moving her fingers up and down on the warm ceramic mug.
Reese sipped his tea. “They seem pretty solid to me. I’ve met vets on the street who are in a lot worse shape.”
“They’ve come a long way,” Shay said, emotion in her tone. “I’m so proud of them. Noah is building a good horse training business. Harper has skills with electrical and plumbing that bring us in really good money. Right now, he’s putting a lot of what he earns by working toward his paramedic degree from the local college. He was a Navy combat corpsman in Afghanistan. He’s wanting to get the two-year degree so he can hopefully be hired by the Wind River Fire Department afterward. That would give him a steady income. Garret knows construction and running heavy equipment. He rents himself out to do small jobs around the valley for us.”
“And their work contributes financially to the ranch?”
“Yes.”
“Garret’s one hell of a cook. Maybe he missed his calling.”
Shay smiled a little. “He loves to cook, but he’d never want to be hired as one. A restaurant kitchen would be way too enclosed and stressful on him. He can’t handle small, confined spaces. But he does well here at the ranch and we’re the lucky recipients of his skills.”
His mouth crooked. “That enclosed spaces thing. We all have it, more or less.”
“To a person,” Shay agreed.
“And are you figuring that once you get that indoor arena up, that Noah can start taking on a lot of new clients for horse training?”
“Yep. That arena will serve us in so many different ways.” She sighed. “I worry about getting it up before winter comes, though. Around here, that’s early, mid-September. It’s been known to snow in August, which I hope doesn’t happen this year.”
Moving the spoon slowly between his fingers, he asked, “Have you thought about a barn-raising?” He saw her brows move up a bit. “You know? In the old days when a rancher or farmer needed a barn built, the surrounding community would all come together for several days. They’d all work together, bring food and family, camp out, and get the job done.”
“No,” Shay admitted, “I hadn’t thought in that direction.”
“Might be worth a shot?”
Sitting back, Shay raised her eyes to the ceiling, thinking. “I have an appointment with Maud Whitcomb tomorrow at noon. We’re going to have lunch at Kassie’s Café and I’m going to ask her about getting some of her buffalo meat at a wholesale price.” Shifting her gaze to him, she said, “Garret said we need more protein-rich food in our diet, and I don’t disagree. You guys need that kind of nutrition, but I just don’t have enough money to buy beef, which is ungodly expensive. Maud donates her buffalo meat to several local charities, so I’m hoping she’ll sell me some. At least I could pay her something, and not ask for a handout.”
“You don’t like asking her for help?”
Shay sighed. “It’s hard for me, Reese, but all I have to do is think about these guys, what they’ve gone through, how they suffered, and I can easily go ask for help. Maud will give me buffalo meat at a low price, I’m sure. She hires military vets over at her ranch, too, and she’s got a heart of gold. She’s the maven here in the valley, well liked, respected, and has the richest spread around. Maud is super active in charities and helping other ranchers here in Lincoln County. Her husband, Steve, is a world renowned architect. She runs the ranch. He creates amazing buildings in many different countries.”
“I don’t know if I could do what you do,” Reese confided gently. “I was never any good at asking for help.” He shrugged. “Pride, I guess . . .”
Shay reached out, briefly touching his lower arm. “You don’t have to ask for anything. That’s my job, Reese. And I don’t mind doing it. I’m not asking for myself, but I’m asking for all of you, so it’s a lot easier for me to do it. I’m great at fighting on behalf of underdogs.”
“Still,” Reese murmured, “it’s stressful.”
“Life is full of stress. So what’s new?” Shay gave him a sad smile.
“You mentioned last night your father had a savings account with his retirement in it.”
