West of wawa, p.18
West of Wawa, page 18
“Can she have her money back?” he asked the crop-haired girl, politely.
“No way, José,” the girl said. She was snapping gum and reading a book and she hardly looked at him. “She booked the bed, she’s got to pay for it.”
“But she isn’t going to use it and she didn’t know that,” Mickey persisted.
“Ah, it doesn’t matter,” Benny said. “She’s right and it’s only twenty dollars, it’s okay.”
“Twenty dollars is twenty dollars,” Mickey was stubborn. “Every cent counts.”
The girl ignored him and Benny pulled him away. “Come on,” she said, “I want to see where you live, I want to have fun with you. Forget the money.”
Mickey glared at the girl who ignored him and followed Benny out to the truck.
“This SUV is so cool,” Benny was impressed. “Whose is it?”
“Mine,” Mickey started the engine. “Well, from work anyways. Them guys there, they got it for me. That’s why Frank moved out. He got all pissed off ’cuz they promoted me and he said he wouldn’t work on my team, so they transferred him to another unit.”
“How childish of him,” Benny said. “I know I only met him once but I would have thought he’d be more mature than that.” Her words sounded stiff and formal to her ears. She felt self-conscious, and wished she could be more nonchalant.
Mickey shrugged and revved the engine. He grinned at her. “Hear that sound, eh? Power!” He pulled out into the street. “Gonna take you on a tour.”
He drove her around Winnipeg, showing her this sight and that. Benny smiled when she saw the Legislative Building and she told him about Jenna and the macramé hair shirt and he laughed.
“So what happened to Jenna?” she asked him. “Last time I saw her, she had her tongue three feet deep down Frank’s throat.”
Mickey shook his head, “No idea, could care less. I don’t even remember what she looked like. I only had eyes for you.” He broke into song and Benny laughed and moved closer to him.
“The only problem with this cab is that it’s too darn big,” she said, “I can’t sit right on top of you.”
He turned to look at her. “Oh, you’ll get your chance,” he said casually and it seemed to Benny that she stopped breathing.
“So, that’s Winny-the-peg,” he said. “And now, here we are.” He turned into a parking lot. “That’s mi casa up there. I rent from the guy who owns the Hakims under. There’s a pub there too. You can’t see it from the back here. Now, I’m tellin’ you, the apartment’s a mess, don’t think I don’t know that, but I been working so hard I didn’t have time to unpack my stuff. I been waitin’ for the winter slump to do that. Although them guys says there’s work if you want it, even through winter and I’m gonna take it for sure. Frank says he likes being a seasonal worker ’cuz he can sit and watch The Simpsons and get stoned but I want to work, I’m tryin’ to save up, build a life. Them guys, like Frank, only live for now, don’t have long-term dreams.”
He grinned at her and led her up a set of narrow, dark stairs. “Careful now,” he said, “let me go first okay. Owner should of put a light in. He’s such a loser though, I bet he’ll never do it.” He turned to her at the top of the stairs and dug in his pocket.
“I got you some keys made,” he said and grinned. “The key chain’s a flashlight, look, so you’ll be able to find the lock.” He turned the flashlight on, and was disappointed when it didn’t work. “Piece of shit,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m sorry. I’ll get you a new one tomorrow, okay?”
He pushed the door open to reveal a single small room with one window on the far side. An oval, old-fashioned basin was in the corner, with an open closet along the one wall and a tiny toilet and shower washroom adjoining to the left. The door to the washroom was broken, hanging drunkenly by a couple of nails. The room had a sloping ceiling and outside a large Molson sign flickered on and off. A kingsized air mattress lay in the middle of the floor, and was piled with rumpled sheets, a dirty flattened pillow, and a crocheted blanket that had seen better days. The remaining space was filled with over-flowing broken cardboard boxes and torn black plastic garbage bags, all spilling their contents.
Benny was dismayed. “Wow. Yeah, really needs some work. How on earth did you and Frank both fit in here? And does the door to that washroom not close?” She wished she hadn’t given up her room at the hostel and suddenly felt afraid.
“Sweetheart, I know what you’re thinkin’ and I don’t blame you for a minute.” Mickey put his arms around her and she buried her head in his chest, not wanting to look at the anarchy of the broken room. And yet strangely, she acknowledged, she was also excited by the squalor, excited by the homelessness of just the two of them being there, amid chaos and dereliction.
“Benny, sweetheart, I know it don’t look like much but I’ll fix it for you, this weekend. I haven’t had time till now but you’ll see. Give me this weekend, that’s all I’m askin’. I never had a reason, before you. I’ll put a door on the closet, build you a bookshelf along here, where you can put your stuff, an’ I’ll unpack my boxes, fix the door to the washroom and I’ll get you a blackout curtain so’s the light don’t bug you from that sign. Okay?”
“You can do all that in one weekend?” Benny asked, watching him navigate the mess of the room, pointing out all the things he’d do.
“Sweetheart, you ain’t seen nothin’.” He smiled that crooked smile. “Wait till you see me with a power drill. I’m quick-hand Luke, baby. And, let me show you something more. You’re gonna like this, I give you my word.” He led her over to the window and pushed up the sash. He climbed out on the ledge and held out his hand. Benny crawled out onto the asphalt rooftop and her breath caught as she looked around. They were way up high, with flashing car lights flying by below, music coming from the nearby pub, and cars honking their horns. Benny peered over the edge of the wall, turned to face Mickey and beamed.
He stood behind her, smiling his crooked smile, proud. “That’s why I got it,” he said, flicking a match against his boot and firing up a smoke. “Cool, eh? We’ll have ourselves picnics up here at night, lie on a blanket in a world all of our own.” He was excited, happy. “Sweetheart, I know the room’s not so great now but that’s why the landlord gives it to me cheap, an’ I said I’d fix it for him. And now you’re here, I got every reason.” He pulled her close. “You’re my dream come true,” he said and his voice broke with emotion. “You got no idea how long I been waitin’ for you.”
Benny hugged him. She was suddenly exhausted. The train ride had been a long one she had been filled with equal amounts of longing and fear. Would he still be there? Would he want to see her? Then the drive around Winnipeg, the arrival at the upside-down room – she was overcome with tiredness.
“Mickey,” she said, and yawned before she could stop herself, “I’m a bit shattered. Can we lie down? I don’t want to waste a minute of our time together but I’m knackered. The train and all that you know.”
“Don’t you worry,” Mickey was gentle. “C’mon. I should of thought of that. How could I not have thought of that?”
He led her back into the apartment and straightened out the sheets and the blanket and fluffed out the stained pillow.
“I only got the one pillow,” he said. “Here, you use it, I’ll roll up my winter jacket and on the weekend, we’ll go shopping and make this place a home, okay?”
Benny thought she should at least brush her teeth but she couldn’t summon the energy. She was too tired to even dig out her sleeping meds. She pulled off her trousers and climbed into bed in her panties and T-shirt. Mickey gently pulled the covers over her.
“I’m goin’ out for a smoke,” he said. “You just sleep now.”
The air mattress bed was surprisingly comfortable and Benny fell fast asleep, oblivious to the on-off of the Molson sign that lit up the room in blue and red.
WALKING ON SUNSHINE
When she woke in the morning, Mickey was gone. Benny sat up and looked around the room, wondering what she had let herself in for. The room was like a vagrant’s shelter, a temporary stop for a drifter.
But, Benny argued with herself, Mickey had explained all that. He had explained why it was such a mess, and he had good reason. She tried to imagine both Mickey and Frank in the room but failed. She got out of bed and padded the few steps to the tiny washroom with a dirty toilet and filthy shower. Benny thought it would take more than bleach and a steel brush to eradicate the squalor and, looking at the stains, she knew she had to leave.
She pulled on her clothes, planning on grabbing her backpack, heading for the bus station and not looking back. But at that moment a phone rang and Benny jumped, startled, trying to see where the ringing was coming from. There was a cell phone next to the bed. She hadn’t noticed it when she got up. She reached for it, wondering whether she should answer it. “Hello?” she said cautiously.
“Hey, baby, you’re awake! I wasn’t sure if I should phone before now or later. You were so wiped out, I couldn’t believe how you were sleepin’.”
Benny, listening to the wonderful sound of Mickey’s laugh, felt all the tension drain from her body. “Yeah,” she said. “I just woke up, I was going to take a shower but the washroom – ”
“Ah, now listen, babes, don’t you be upset about the place okay? I know it’s not so great but it’ll be our home okay? I promise you, I’ll fix it this weekend, you’ll see. Them guys here said I can borrow any tools I like and I am goin’ buy some lumber on the way home and you’ll see. You go and get a nice breakfast and have a nice day, okay? And I’ll bring stuff to clean the washroom. I’m sorry about that babe, I should of cleaned it. My bad, okay?”
Benny felt relieved. “Yes,” she said reassured. “I’ll go for a walk, do something, get something to eat.”
She hung up and brushed her teeth in the basin that she figured doubled as a kitchen sink. She went out, locking the door carefully behind her. She took stock of where she was and walked around, enjoying the sights and sounds. Mickey’s apartment was close to the hostel, right in the middle of downtown and she recognized a few familiar spots. She made note of the Internet café next to the Hakims, and she went back upstairs, wondering if there was any way she could brave the shower. She opened the door and the phone was ringing. She answered it.
“Where were you?” Mickey sounded annoyed. “I been phonin’ you for hours.”
“I went for a walk and forgot to take the phone, I’m not used to having a phone again, sorry.”
“No, babes,” he sounded abashed. “I just worried is all. What’re you going to do now?”
“Have a shower, although the washroom’s filthy. Don’t forget to bring home bleach, rubber gloves, and a steel brush.”
“I can do that. Listen I won’t be home late okay? What do you want for supper? Pizza?”
“That’s fine,” Benny said, thinking what the hell, pizza was the last of her worries. “As long as it’s vegetarian. Although where we’ll eat, I’ve got no idea.” She looked around.
“We’ll get a small table, or TV dinner trays,” Mickey said confidently. “Trust me, sweetheart, trust me. And listen, if you go out again, take the phone with you, will you please? For me?”
She told him she would. Then she braved the shower, thinking that a new shower curtain needed to be added to the shopping list. She decided to stop by the Internet café and tell Shay she’d made it back down okay, and she strapped on her money belt. She had buried her travel cash inside a pair of socks deep in the bottom of her backpack.
Despite her misgivings about the apartment, Benny was happier than she’d ever been, happier even, than she’d been with Eli. She hummed Walking on Sunshine as she entered the dark café that housed more rowdy game boys than hostel travelers.
She sat down next to a boy playing a very noisy war game. She logged on and found emails from Dad, Shay and Teenie.
Teenie said,
Hey chickie! Where are you now? There’s an opening for a senior web designer at a good agency I know – you interested?
Benny wrote back to Teenie first,
In Winnipeg, still en route to the great west, Thanks T, not ready to come back yet – still have to dip my toe in the Pacific. Also, I like print more than web but thanks for thinking of me!
Then she wrote to her family, nondescript messages saying everything was fine but she was tired, might stay in Winnipeg for a week or so and catch her breath. No mention of Mickey.
Then she logged off. It was only 3:00 p.m., and a long while before Mickey would be home. She wandered into a mall and bought a book, Body by Harry Crews, a bargain for $2.
Then she went back to the apartment, blew up her air pillows and had a nap. She woke to the fragrant smell of pizza and the feel of Mickey’s big warm body close to her.
“Hello,” she said, sleepily. “I’m much more tired than I realized.”
“Sweetheart, no wonder. We’ll get an early night. I can’t be late for work again, them guys is getting a bit pissed with me. I got you some beer too and I hope you don’t mind but I gotta get this doobie inside me before I do anything else.”
Benny helped herself to a slice of pizza. “Ooh, this is fantastic,” she said and Mickey laughed. He finished the joint and pushed the food aside.
“Eat later,” he said, his voice husky. “I gotta take care of my girl now. That all right with you?”
More than all right.
The next day Benny woke at noon. She stretched out, wondering what to do. She ate a leftover piece of pizza while she got dressed, then went for a walk and sat down to read Body in a small park nearby. She got lost in the book, checked the time, and was amazed to find it was close to 5:00 p.m. She got up, stretched, and ambled back to the apartment, finding to her surprise that the door was half open and there was the sound of hammering coming from inside. She pushed the door open and gave a cry of surprise. The room was transformed. Two big garbage bags stood in the middle of the floor; the mess had all been cleared. The closet sported brand new white doors and Mickey was putting the final nail into a new shelf that ran alongside the wall. The bed was made and decked out with a new pillow and two new pillow cases, and a thick black curtain hung over the window; it was tacked up and pulled to one side with a bulldog clip. There was a little trolley next to the sink with a dish rack, a set of wire grocery shelves on wheels and a kettle beside that. And the washroom door was properly attached.
Mickey looked up at her and grinned in triumph. “A bit better eh?” he said in his deep voice and he flipped the hammer around his finger – Wild West style.
Benny burst out laughing. “Yeah, you could say that,” she said.
He came over and hugged her tight; he was covered in sweat and dirt. “I explained to them guys that I needed to leave at lunch today, had to do this or my girl could leave me. I know there are still some things we need here but it’s a start, eh?”
“Ah, Mickey, it’s a brilliant start, brilliant.” Benny was happy. She entwined his dirty fingers in hers.
“Let me get all cleaned up,” he said, running his fingers through his hair, his eyes shining, and his grin triumphant. “You explore. You can unpack your things in the closet. Later tonight I’ll hook up my stereo, okay? But let me go and get cleaned up.”
Benny lay down on the bed and snuggled her face into the brand new pillow. She listened to Mickey showering, and wished she were in the hot soapy water with him. She fell asleep and next thing he was lying next to her, smelling of shampoo and some kind of spicy aftershave. She rolled sleepily toward him and he kissed her long and deep, his breath sweet. She ran her hands over his body, his incredibly firm and beautiful body.
“You take my breath away,” she murmured and he laughed.
“No, baby, that’s what you do to me,” he said and he lifted her T-shirt over her head.
The Molson sign flickered on and off and Benny felt like they were spinning across the universe in their own tiny spaceship, the room sailing through a galaxy of stars and light.
When she woke, he was gone and she sat up in fright. It was completely dark out, only the neon lighting up the room. She saw that the window was open and she leaned outside.
“Havin’ a smoke,” Mickey said easily, “Come on out and bring the comforter with you, I don’t want you to get cold out here. Wait, let me help you.”
He grabbed the comforter from her and helped her out the window.
“We should get some Muskoka chairs for up here,” he said. “Sit and watch our view.”
She laughed and settled down next to him, her back against the wall. Mickey was smoking a joint and he offered it to her. She took a drag and immediately felt the hit.
“Wow, that’s strong,” she said and he laughed.
“It’s who you know,” he said. He reached for her hand. “Are you happy?”
“Happier than I’ve ever been,” she said.
The answer satisfied him. “Come sit here, between my legs, lean up on me.” He pulled her closer to him.
“Benny,” he said, “I know I told you about my brother getting’ killed and that, and I’ll be the first one to tell you I ain’t always played it straight. I got into trouble more than once. Like that judge, he sent me for anger management but I didn’t finish the program. I know I should of, but I’m not so good at finishing crap. Then I ran up all my credit cards, couldn’t pay them, that’s why I left Nova Scotia. I’m tryin’ to save up enough money here to pay everything back ’cuz my family’s there and I miss them even though they’re not what you’d call the best support. My dad, he drinks more than he should, and so we never had money. Like I could of been NHL for sure. I skate backwards faster than forwards but we never had no money for skates or nothin’ and I always had secondhand crap that never worked. And then, when Jimmy died, you’d think my dad would clean it up, right? But he didn’t. He drank more. Alcoholism runs in our family. I remember tellin’ my granny my troubles and askin’ her why we’re the way we are. I told her, it’s not fair.”
