Call it fate, p.18
Call it Fate, page 18
Her eyes glossed over with tears, and her chin trembled beneath my finger. She drew in a shuddering breath while I held mine, waiting for her answer. “I’m not sure I know how,” she finally said. “I know how everything feels when it’s great, but I also know how it feels when it doesn’t work out. I don’t want to go through that again.”
“I don’t, either. And we don’t have to, Em. Let’s take this next step.” I winked at her. “It doesn’t have to be just Iain who spends time with me or sleeps over.”
That drew a slight laugh from her before she grew serious. “I can’t just jump into anything. I need to go slow. There’s so much on the line, and it’s not just about me and you.”
“I know; you’re right. But I want this. Trust me. Trust me with yourself and with Iain.”
“Okay.” She held up a finger at my jubilant smile. “To spending time with you at your place, not me having a sleepover with you.”
Give me time, sweetheart. I’ll get you to change your mind.
I picked her up and spun her around the room, only stopping when she batted at my shoulders to put her down, but when I did, her smile reached all the way. I kept my arms wrapped around her while her fingers splayed across my chest. I didn’t bother shifting, so she could feel how hard I was for her, and I knew it had the effect I wanted when her mouth parted slightly and her eyes fell to my lips, then back to my eyes.
I tilted my head over hers, reveling in the flush that crept up her neck to her cheeks, but she didn’t look away. My heart pumped harder as I placed my hand on the side of her face, my thumb brushing across her lips. Her tongue darted out, and she leaned even closer into me.
I’d been denied from them for too long. I slowly let my head descend until I could press my lips to hers, holding them to her sweet softness for just a few seconds, then I allowed the energy of the moment to carry us away. I smiled and tugged on her bottom lip with my teeth, eliciting a small whimper as she gave in and pressed upward on her toes, sliding her arms around my neck and letting her fingers slide into the hair at the nape of my neck. Our tongues met and found an easy rhythm as if they’d never been separated by our shared pain. I poured every feeling into the kiss, trying to communicate the words she wasn’t ready to hear but that I needed her to feel.
We carried on for a few more minutes before a burst of laughter from the other side of the door jarred us back to reality. She jerked back just in time before the other door opened and Iain trudged in with his backpack and a frown. She pulled away, scooping up his lunchbox and handed it to him. While he was distracted trying to fit it into his pack, I discreetly adjusted my pants to fit a little better.
“Ready to go?”
“I guess,” he mumbled, making me laugh.
As the three of us headed to the foyer, I noticed Emalee made sure to keep Iain between us. I hit the buttons on my key fob that would remotely turn on my car to warm up and sent Iain ahead of me, who fortunately didn’t argue.
I turned back to his mom, who looked at me with some trepidation. “Don’t say that was a mistake,” I said.
“I wasn’t going to. But I need to find my footing here, Zach. I feel like the world has spun out from under me, and every time I find a new balance, it shifts again. And that kiss just rocked it even further.”
I didn’t bother hiding my little smile of male satisfaction at her comment. “You better believe I’m going to do that again because, sweetheart? Kissing you has caused my world to finally spin right.”
Chapter 25
Emalee
* * *
“Mom, can I give it to him?”
“Sure, honey.” I handed him the basket of carefully wrapped muffins and his favorite strawberry jam we had put together as a housewarming gift, along with some pictures Iain had drawn for his refrigerator.
Things were going so smoothly between Zach and Iain. They were for us, too. He’d been affectionate and kept finding ways to touch me, like letting our fingers brush if he handed something to me or putting his arm around me if we watched TV after Iain went to bed. He pitched in with meals, always choosing to stand close to my workspace. But other than a sweet peck on the forehead or cheek, he hadn’t tried to kiss me again.
If he was trying to drive me crazy, it was officially working.
Still, by coming here, I worried that Iain didn’t understand this wasn’t permanent. Zach had moved in a couple of weeks ago, but we’d never been to visit. I knew Zach had fixed up a space in one of the rooms so Iain would be comfortable. I’d helped him pick toys and bedding I knew Iain would like.
Still, Zach had seen how hard that had been and never pushed to have him stay until he called yesterday to invite us both over. There was no logical reason to say no, and it was an obvious next step, no matter how the future played out.
Already, Iain was so attached, calling him “Dad” any chance he had. I wasn’t sure who was more excited by that, Iain or Zach. I knew Zach would never dismiss Iain from his life, but how would Iain react if Zach and I got together only for it to not work out in the end?
I smoothed my hands down my jeans, trying to rid them of the moisture that gathered there as Iain rang the doorbell.
Zach opened the door with a huge grin. “Hey, buddy! How’s my boy?”
Iain thrust the basket into his dad’s hand, who paid an appropriate tribute. “Did you make these? They smell so good. And you remembered my favorite jelly, too.”
“Well, that’s easy,” Iain said matter-of-factly. “It’s my favorite, too.”
Zach winked at me. “Proof that you have good taste.”
I rolled my eyes at his pun, but his smile was so infectious that I had to grin back.
“Come on inside. I’ll show you around.” Zach held the door open, and we got our first look inside what would be his home for the next couple of months.
“Wow.” Iain ran inside, spinning around in a circle with wide eyes. “It’s so big!”
I was thinking the same. It almost seemed a little over the top for just one person.
Zach smiled, but his eyes were focused on me. “Come on,” he said softly, guiding me further into the house with a hand to my back.
I could tell by the lopsided grin and eagerness in his eyes that Zach was interested in my opinion. We hadn’t talked about Iain spending time here with his dad alone, but I knew that was on the near horizon. Of course, he wanted the extra time with his son. I appreciated that Zach at least cared enough about my approval of his place.
Iain took off, exploring the room that Zach had turned into his. I don’t know when he’d had the time, but it was decorated in shades of red with a racing theme; it was certainly more than what I’d helped him pick out. There were copies of Iain’s favorite books and a few of the games he loved. I knew it was going to be hard to pull Iain away from this house and all the extra space, and I felt a twinge, knowing that I couldn’t offer the same to him on my own.
“How did you get all this?”
“I might have gone a little overboard with one-clicking,” he answered, his face a little red. “I know you said not to, but I’ve missed a lot of birthdays and holidays. I thought it might help him feel at home here.”
He must have seen the dismay on my face. Not that Zach didn’t deserve that time, but what happened if Iain liked it here better than the home I’d created?
“Hey, I want him to be comfortable here. I’m his dad, not just some playmate. It’s going to take time, but we’ll all get there, Em.”
I sighed. “I’m being selfish.”
“No, you’re protective. You’re a great mom, Emalee. You’ve done an amazing job raising our son. I have so much to make up for, but I don’t mean to overshadow you. But I can help. I want to help. You’re not in this alone anymore.”
Iain had no hesitation in letting Zach know how much he liked it, especially when he hit the basement level and saw an air hockey table, an enormous television, and gaming controls.
I raised an eyebrow at Zach, who looked back a little sheepishly. “I like my toys, too.”
“Dad! Can we play?”
“Sure, buddy, if it’s okay with your mom.”
They both looked at me with the same expression, and I was powerless to say “no.”
I curled up in a chair while the two of them sat side by side, almost twin-like in their expressions, with their tongue stuck out between the corner of their lips while they concentrated on whatever game they were playing. They made it look so easy to be together. I wasn’t sure why I still struggled to accept Zach was now a part of our lives. Unlike Iain, I knew the challenges of trying to make this work. What would happen when it was time for Zach to leave? There were at least six hours between us; weekends would be challenging with that much road time, especially during the school year.
A burst of laughter pulled me from my thoughts. Zach was high-fiving Iain. “Good game, bud. Why don’t you play solo for a bit and let me talk to your mom.”
“Okay.” He was lost in the game again, his body already poised forward and twisting as he navigated the characters on the screen. It wasn’t hard to imagine that he’d love spending time here, and the thought made me feel lonely at the idea of our small space suddenly feeling large without his presence.
“Em?”
“Hmm?” I looked up to see Zach holding his hand out for me.
“Let’s go upstairs.”
I hesitated for a second, but I slid my hand into his. But instead of releasing it when I stood, he held on to it the entire way up the stairs and back into the kitchen. It felt too good—too right—to take it back, so I allowed myself to enjoy it for the moment.
“Can I get you anything?” he asked. “I’ve got some muffins that I happen to know are the best around.” He winked at me.
Damn it! It was like being the young girl back in the park when I’d first met him. I’d been powerless to say “no” to him then, and apparently, I still was. “Sure. I don’t suppose you have any coffee to go with it?”
While he got everything together, refusing my offer to help, I moved to the wall of windows in the living room. There was a large yard out back, and he had a gorgeous view of the mountains, with a glimpse of the valley below us.
“The real estate office in town sent a few choices over to pick from. That view sold me on this one,” Zach called from the kitchen.
I felt his warmth as he stood behind me. I turned to face him, not expecting him to be so close. His hands settled on my hips as our bodies brushed each other. I was caught in the snare of his darkening gaze. My breath caught as his eyes moved to my lips, which parted slightly of their own accord. My heart beat faster, and I wanted nothing more than for him to kiss me again. I didn’t have it in me to push him away.
“Sunshine,” he breathed as his fingers tightened their grasp.
I tilted my head up. Or was he moving toward me? His lips were just a whisper away as mine parted in anticipation. It must have been the encouragement he needed because suddenly, there was no more space between us, and his lips were pressed to mine. His hands left my hips only to encircle my waist and pull me closer. His tongue played a little game of seek and retreat, teasing until, with a moan, my hands slid upward along his shoulders and into his hair, holding his head close to mine.
I could feel his hardness between my legs, and I raised up on my toes to match it to the core part of me that needed him. His hands ran up and down my back before one tangled in my hair and the other slid across my backside and down my thigh, urging my leg up and around his hip. His leg pressed between mine, expelling a whimper from me as I shamelessly ground against his thigh without further encouragement.
“Fuck, Em. You’re so beautiful.” He growled low and deep in his throat while his fingers twisted almost painfully in my hair as his mouth left mine to trail a line of kisses down the column of my neck.
My movement seemed to ignite a spark because his teasing became commanding. He nipped at my lower lip, then soothed it with his tongue before it slid inside to tangle with mine, no more tasting but full-on consuming.
A shriek of victory came from downstairs, breaking the spell, and I jerked my head away. Zach’s grip lessened, and I let my leg fall, but he didn’t let go. He took a shuddering breath as I hid my face against his chest, sucking in short, quick breaths of air as I tried to regain a sense of control.
His chest rumbled against my ear. “I guess I better get used to not being alone for moments like this.”
I immediately stiffened. I hadn’t considered that Zach might have another woman in his life. I tried to pull away, but his arms were bands across my back. A finger tried to lift my chin, but I stubbornly refused to look at him.
“Em. Look at me. Please.”
I slowly dragged my eyes up to his handsome face. Why wouldn’t he have other women interested in him? He was gorgeous. Any woman would want him.
“Don’t pull away from me, sunshine. I’m not sure what’s got you all spun up all of a sudden. But I was talking about moments with you, just in case you had any other thoughts in mind.”
Oh. “I, uh, wasn’t sure. I mean, I’m here now, but someday, you’ll be back at your home, and maybe you’ll have a girlfriend—”
He stopped my words with a finger to my mouth. “Stop. I know you feel this between us. It’s stronger than ever despite the time we’ve been apart. I’m not sure how you feel, but let me be clear on my part for you. I don’t know why we’ve been given this second chance. Call it fate. Call it chance. Call it whatever the fuck you want, but I’ve found you, and God help me, I’m not sure I can let go again. So please, Em. Don’t we owe it to ourselves to see where this leads?”
“But how, Zach? Your life, your real life, isn’t here. Aren’t we just setting ourselves up for more pain?”
“We aren’t the young kids we were then. We know what we’re getting into this time. There are no more secrets. You and Iain are the most important things to me right now. Yes, it’s complicated. But if we’re as strong as I think we are, we’ll find a way. Do we really have to have all the answers right now? Let’s see where this goes. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering ‘what if’ just because we don’t have all the answers up front.”
I stared at him, struck by the sincerity I heard in his voice and feeling more than a little guilty about the secret I was keeping. But that was still for the best. “You give a compelling argument, Doc Abbott.”
“Then let’s see where our present lies before we worry about our future. I think we also owe it to Iain to work through our shit and not give up on each other.”
But that was part of the problem, too, wasn’t it? “Can I have some time to think about it?” At his crestfallen look, I quickly added, “I’m not saying no. But I’m not ready to say yes, either. There’s Iain to consider. He’s young, but he’s not stupid. If he sees us together all the time and we don’t work out, then he’ll be hurt. I don’t want him to feel like he has to choose between us.”
His jaw twisted. “Okay. We’ll be discreet, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to want to kiss you.” His head bent toward mine again, but this kiss was gentler, a promise to punctuate his argument.
“Maybe you should have been a lawyer. I can’t argue with your logic.”
“Good.”
Footsteps stomped up the stairs, and I pulled myself away just before Iain came into the room. “Is there something to eat? I’m hungry.”
“You’re always hungry.” I laughed, mostly because as Zach headed into the kitchen, I saw him adjust himself. We had a lot to learn about trying to be a couple with a child.
After lunch and some time spent exploring outside, Zach and Iain were back in the game room, involved in a very spirited round of a cartoonish car race. I sat sideways in a chair, my legs swinging over the arm as I watched. The doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it,” I called above their shouts of laughter, but I’m not sure either of them paid me any attention.
I headed up the stairs and passed through the living room, wondering who would be here. Probably another delivery to spoil Iain. I laughed out loud a little. I knew I had told him not to make everything up to Iain all at one time, but it was obvious he was having a hard time holding back.
I opened the door, expecting someone with a box to greet me. Instead, I had only a second to hear a “woof” before I was met by a blur of fur that caused me to stumble backward. I tossed my face side to side to avoid the long tongue that seemed determined to lick my face off.
“Milo! Heel.”
With a whine, the dog dropped back to his haunches, his body still wriggling in excitement.
“Milo! Hi, boy.” I sat up on my knees in front of the wriggling body and looked to see who had accompanied Milo. The first thing I saw as I sat up was a pair of brown leather shoes stepping beside me. My eyes traveled up expensive suit pants covering long legs, then a starched white shirt covering broad shoulders until I found a pair of narrowed dark brown eyes assessing me. After a moment, he held out his hand.
His unsmiling face made me hesitate a moment, but I didn’t want to appear ungrateful, so I accepted his help. “Hi. I’m Emalee.”
“I figured out who you are. I’m Clay, Zach’s attorney.”
His attorney? My heart leapt to my throat. Was there something I was missing? Was Zach planning to sue for custody after all? Suddenly, I felt the lump I’d swallowed earlier rise back into my throat.
“He’s my best friend, who happens to be an attorney but not for me. He was watching Milo for me. I didn’t know he was coming.” I hadn’t heard Zach come up the stairs, but he shot Clay a warning glare just before Milo bolted for him, dancing around his feet as Zach tried to pet him.
