Call it fate, p.8
Call it Fate, page 8
Upstairs, I pounded my fist into my rib cage in the hope it would force my heartbeat back to a regular rhythm.
When the boy had rushed into the room, I’d been amused at his enthusiasm. What kid didn’t love a snow day? But when he called Emalee “mom,” I felt like a python was constricting around my chest. Had she had another boyfriend at the same time she started seeing me? I wasn’t good at determining kids’ ages, but I figured him to be around six or seven. I quickly did the math and realized he must have been born within a year after Emalee and I had met. That was startling in and of itself. But when he turned to apologize, I’d needed to take a step backward due to the invisible force that sucker punched me.
His eyes—dark green irises that were a hallmark of the Abbots. Green, the color of pine needles until you looked more closely and saw what appeared to be a crown of gold subtly radiating out across the top of the pupil. I had them. My dad and grandfather had them. There was no mistaking his paternity.
I confirmed the truth by the look in her eyes, too, the unspoken answer to the question in mine.
That meant only one thing—I had a son.
Iain.
I had a son named Iain.
A compilation of emotions made my head spin: shock, confusion, anger, betrayal. Yet at the same time, a sense of joy and pride that didn’t even make sense to me. How could I feel something so strong for someone I didn’t even know?
Now, I found myself asking so many new questions that overshadowed all the old ones. How could she have not told me? What had she told Iain about me? Was there someone else who Iain thought of as his father? And now that I knew about him, what did it mean for any of us?
It was too soon to figure out what the future might look like, but for the first time, I wasn’t concerned about how many days I had to spend in this small town away from my actual job. One answer I knew for sure—I refused to be left out of his life from here on out.
Suddenly recalling why I was here in the first place, I glanced at my watch. Shit. There was no time to resolve anything with Emalee now. I had to get to the clinic soon. It was only a couple of blocks away; maybe a cold walk would cool my emotions.
I kept my focus straight ahead as I walked back downstairs. If Emalee was still there, I didn’t want to see her. I couldn’t, not without wanting to yell and shake the truth free from her. Better that I try to collect my thoughts and harness my temper.
I needed time to think, time to wrap my head around the idea I was a father—and had been for several years. That was one of the hardest things for me to reconcile—all this time, I was going about my business with no thought for any responsibility I had. I’d no idea I was missing out on important moments in a young boy’s life, moments I should have been a part of—would have been if only I’d known. I’d only seen the child for seconds and already I felt cheated out of so much; the sense of loss was staggering.
I only made it a block before all at once, it became too much. Every day since I left Charlotte had been one fucking revelation after another. Dizziness and nausea threatened to overtake me. I cleared some residual snow from a bench and sat, dropping my head into my hands and sucking in deep breaths.
“You okay, mister?”
I glanced up to see a guy in a thick, dark olive-green jacket and matching ball cap, both indicating he was part of the sheriff’s office. His head was tilted as he watched me with a frown.
“Yeah. I also got some heavy news this morning. I’m fine. Thanks, though.”
His eyes looked at me with sympathy. “Sorry to hear that. Just wanted to check.”
I shook my head to clear it and stood. “Yeah. Thanks. I appreciate it.”
“Here. You look like you could use this more than me.” He held out a cup of coffee. “It’s fresh. I just got it from Brew’s Clues.” He tipped his head toward a store across the street. “None better.”
My hand reached out automatically, amazed at the kindness of a stranger.
“Take care now.” He touched the brim of his hat and nodded before continuing down the sidewalk.
I wondered if all the residents were so welcoming. I glanced up and down the street, trying to see it from the eyes of raising a child here. It looked like quintessential small-town Americana. Trees and classic streetlamps with round, white globes lined the streets in front of a mixture of one and two-story storefronts. Large, colorful awnings sheltered doorways or large spaces, probably for outdoor dining in the warmer months.
In the summer, I could imagine the empty flowerpots would be full of brilliant blooms. None of the stores were vacant as they were in some small towns, and it surprised me to see over one choice for eating. This might be smaller than the larger city I was used to, but it appeared to be thriving.
But was it a town my son should be raised in? Not that there was anything wrong with it. Despite my initial reluctance to come here, already, I’d found a certain charm to it. But I could provide him with so many more opportunities—would have been doing so if only I’d known about him. Instead, he was basically living in a hotel, full of the comings and goings of total strangers.
Seven years ago, Emalee and I had never talked at length about where we came from. We knew enough that both of us were reluctant to carry out the dreams of our parents. Instead, we were naively planning out a different future, one spent together and not worrying about our backgrounds. I knew she didn’t have the luxury of wealth like I had, but whenever she spoke of her family, I heard the love in her voice. She said she stayed because of her sense of duty. If that was the case, where was her sense of duty when it came to my son; her duty to allow him to know his father?
It was all I could do not to call the clinic and tell them I wouldn’t be in today. But despite my desire to grab Emalee and lock her in a room until she told me everything, I still had a job to do, and not fulfilling it to the best of my abilities would get back to Doctor Anders in Charlotte. I couldn’t afford to mess up, not when a coveted surgical internship was at stake, an opportunity that finally made my dad look at me with a flicker of approval.
Fortunately, I’d had a lot of practice in my lifetime of compartmentalizing my true feelings and focusing on what needed to be done. Plastering a smile on my face as I continued my walk down the street, I half-heartedly returned the many greetings directed my way.
Whatever else, my son was growing up in a friendly community, and for that, I was grateful.
For now.
Somehow, I got through the workday with a smile on my face. On my way home, I decided to try Simply Ruth’s; some good old comfort food seemed in order after the startling day. Inside was a long bar with stools and booths lined the walls, including under the front windows. Small tables fit in between. Even though it was only late afternoon, the place was already half full. The smells coming from the kitchen made my stomach growl.
“Have a seat anywhere, darlin’,” a woman with a short, red apron wrapped around her jeans hollered.
I found a table near the back where I could watch as people came and went. Despite the snow and cold weather, there was no shortage of people who seemed to come for everything from an early dinner to a cup of coffee. And from where I sat, almost no one came into the diner who didn’t see someone to wave to, including me.
It reminded me of Emalee when I’d first met her—kind, soft-spoken, and genuine. I wasn’t so naïve as to believe nothing bad ever happened here or that there weren’t any rotten people, but I didn’t feel like I needed to double-check for my wallet in my back pocket.
I was eager to talk to Emalee and understood why she’d never contacted me when she thought I had cheated on her, a burr that was still stuck in my saddle, but I’d been here for three days, and she’d never told me about our son. When was she planning to tell me? I was still in shock over the revelation.
After I placed an order for some coffee and blueberry pie, I decided to call Clay, my best friend back in Charlotte. Hopefully, he would have a different perspective and could talk me through a plan to handle the surprises that had come my way since I’d arrived.
“Hey, man! What’s up? How’s small-town life?” Clay’s enthusiastic voice came through the line.
I barked out a short laugh. “Bigger in ways you can’t imagine.”
“Wherever you ended up, I’m jealous you got away. I’m not sure the last time I had a vacation.”
“Well, I definitely wouldn’t call this a vacation, and I guarantee, no matter where you went, it wouldn’t be as crazy as what’s happened here.”
“Let me guess. They’ve already talked you into a pie-eating contest. Wait, no, they entered you into a greased pig contest.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “No, nothing like that.” I told him about Tillie and Mayor Sterling. I’m not sure I ever heard him laugh so hard. “At least, everyone else seems very nice and has been very welcoming.” I leaned back in my chair and drummed my fingers on the scarred, wooden tabletop. “You’ll never believe who I ran into at the bed-and-breakfast where I’m staying.”
“Who?”
“Her.”
“Her? How the hell am I supposed to know who that is?” My hesitation in answering was the only clue he needed. “Oh, her! You mean the bitch that left you years ago?”
“Don’t call her that, but yes.” Despite everything, I felt compelled to defend her. Until I knew what happened, I was going to do my best to refrain from judgment. After all, our lives were now connected, forever.
“You’re kidding.”
“Wish I was.”
“She’s a guest there? Maybe you won’t run into her anymore. Or, maybe you should track her down and have it out, once and for all.”
“Oh, I’ll see her again. She lives there.”
“At the hotel?”
“She runs it.”
“You’re kidding! After all this time, you just stumbled across her. That’s just…wow. That’s crazy.”
“What did she say? Did she give you an explanation? Did she at least seem embarrassed? Did you ignore her? God, I wish I was there. I’d have—well, never mind. What did happen?”
A part of me wished Clay had been here. I heard the scorn in his tone. He knew how long it had taken me to move on from Emalee, and he definitely wasn’t her fan; more like, he was president of the “ditch the bitch” club, even though he’d never met her. And Clay, being an extremely loyal friend, was firmly in my corner. He’d have interrogated her until he had all the answers I longed for, and then, he would have thrown the proverbial book at her and described to her, in detail, just how bad she’d fucked up all those years ago. Clay might be laid back in his time off, but in his profession as a prosecutor? He was a Rottweiler with a bone.
“What did she say?”
I scrubbed a hand over my face and filled him in on how she seemed to think I’d ditched her.
“Well, shit.” There were several seconds of silence. “Fuck, dude. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe you can finally move on.”
His words grated. “I have moved on, asshole.”
“Yeah? So, why haven’t you dated anyone seriously?”
“I date. Besides, I’ve been busy building my career. You know how competitive those internships are. Once I get that, I’ll move on.”
Clay pretended to cough. “Bullshit. You know you’ll get the internship and residency. If not with Anders, then someone else will snap you up. You’re brilliant. But when that’s done, there will be something else, some research article to write, some animal rights cause to champion, or something else. When’s it going to be enough?”
I bit my tongue. I had called him for sympathy, not a lecture. “There’s more.”
“Fuck. Let me guess. She’s married with kids.”
“You got half of it right.”
“Dude, if she’s married, let her go. That ain’t right.”
I dropped my head onto the back of my chair and stared at the ceiling. “She’s not married.”
“Oh. Wait, so, she’s got a kid?” There were a few seconds of silence. “Hey, you don’t think she was pregnant when she met you, do you? It would explain so much. Maybe she hoped you’d be her kid’s daddy.”
“Nope, she definitely wasn’t pregnant before I met her.”
There was another lengthy pause. “You’re not saying she had your kid, are you?”
“Ding ding ding. Give the man a cookie.”
“Ooooh. Fuck. Give me another minute. This is deep, man.” I could envision him squeezing his eyes and rubbing his forehead like he did when he was trying to solve a problem. “Wow, dude. You’ve got a kid.”
“I have a son,” I breathed. “His name is Iain. I’ve only seen him for a few seconds, but he seems incredible.”
“Are you sure he’s yours?” Clay asked.
“He’s the right age, and he definitely has my eyes.”
“Shit. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I need to head back there soon. I walked out pretty angry this morning, but I plan to talk to her. Obviously, I want to get to know my son.”
“Hell, yeah, you do.” He hesitated, and I knew he was trying to choose his next words carefully. “Obviously, I don’t know exactly what this is like for you, but you need to talk to her without getting overly angry or emotional. She ran once. You don’t want her to run again.”
I heard his sigh through the phone. “Look, I know I haven’t been a fan of hers, but you’re connected now, regardless of the past. If she’s really the girl you believed her to once be, maybe there’s more to this story. Figure it out.” He paused. “How’d she seem to you?”
Beautiful. Captivating.
“Not too happy to see me.” I thought back to the shock on Emalee’s face. Her beautiful brown eyes were still as expressive as ever. I’d seen the shock, the anger, then fear flash through them.
“Think about it, man. For about six years she’s been raising a son all on her own, and suddenly, you pop back up? She’s probably scared you’re going to take him away from her. She’s going to be super protective of him, so don’t be a dick and spook her so she doesn’t let you see him without a fight.”
“I’m not a dick,” I said indignantly.
“You need to listen to her side of the story, that’s all I’m saying.”
“You’re right,” I admitted.
“Of course, I am.” He laughed, then grew serious. “Hey, let me know how it goes. If you need me, I can be there in a few hours. If she’s a bitch about it, I happen to know a pretty damn good lawyer who’ll always have your back.”
And that’s why Clay was my best friend. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”
Chapter 12
Emalee
* * *
“Wow! Who was that?” My best friend, Megan, gawked at Zach’s retreating backside. She twisted her body so she could keep her eyes glued to it. “I’d sure like to be the candy on his pillow tonight.” She dropped a box on my kitchen table where I was hiding, releasing a divine smell of chocolate.
She meant her words innocently enough, but they still caused a surge of jealousy to flow through my already rattled nerves.
Thank god, this morning was my chocolate delivery day. Megan worked at Bliss Confections, a candy store a block over that had been in her family for almost seventy years. For the past two, she’d taken over the management so her parents could have more free time to travel.
Megan made little chocolates with The Dogtrot Bed and Breakfast’s name and logo, which I put on the pillows each day when I cleaned the rooms. I got a professional and elegant, small touch for my guests, and she got the free advertising that came with the packaging. It was a win for everyone.
I carried the box to my desk and dropped it. “Perfect timing,” I said, grabbing Megan’s hand and pulling her to the kitchen, where I knew we’d be undisturbed for at least a few minutes.
“Emalee, what’s gotten into you?” Apprehension shadowed her gray eyes. “Did he hurt you? Do I need to run after him and mess up his pretty face?” She put up her fists and pretended to take a jab.
I appreciated her concern, but I couldn’t smile back at my beautiful and protective friend. “He did, but not recently.” I leaned closer, almost afraid to say the words out loud. “That was Zach.”
Her brow furrowed, then her mouth fell open. “No way!” she shouted. At my warning glare, she dropped her voice to a dramatic whisper. “Zach? The disappearing one-nighter?”
I nodded, not bothering to correct her that I’d known him for more than one night. I understood what she meant.
Her eyes blinked several times as she absorbed the information. She was one of the few who knew the entire story. “He showed up after all this time? How’d he find you?”
“He didn’t find me. He found The Dogtrot. He’s staying here and seemed just as surprised to see me as I was him.”
She scowled. “Forget the chocolate. I hope you short-sheeted his bed and charged him double.”
“He was a last-minute add. Shannon booked him Monday while I was out. Then I was so busy prepping for the storm, I never looked at the reservation before he checked in. He’s here filling in for Doc Claypool.”
“Does he know?” Her eyes widened as she realized the full implication of my ex’s arrival.
“He saw Iain this morning before I could tell him, right before you walked in. It only took him two seconds to see the resemblance and figure it out. You saw his reaction. Now, I don’t know what to say or do.”
She pulled me to the kitchen table and pointed to a chair. “Look,” she said, taking her own seat, “you don’t owe him a damn thing.” She jerked her thumb toward the front door. “That asshat owes you.”
“He was surprised, Meg. Obviously, his parents never told him I was pregnant. You should have seen his expression.” I thought of the emotions that flickered across Zach’s face. “He was stunned, and now he’s pissed. I think he blames me for everything.”
“His parents suck donkey balls.” Despite the seriousness of the moment, her expression got me to laugh.
