“Come on over, Magic Man!” she called. She pushed on Jimmy, who vacated his seat to sit next to our other friend Reginald across the booth.

  “Hey guys!” I said as I sat down. I gave Luna a quick kiss. At that moment, Tuzren appeared with my Red Dragon ale. He set it down and sat on my shoulder, holding his own mug.

  “Wow! You have a demon!” Reginald stared at Tuzren as he quaffed what appeared to be a smaller version of my ale. Reginald, our self-proclaimed magic expert, stared at the demon through his unruly black bangs, he was constantly pushing out of his face. He wore his typical wizard robes, rather than normal clothes.

  “Yeah, yeah, this is Tuz—oof!” I gasped as the demon elbowed me in the neck.

  “Tuz?” Reginald’s brows knitted together.

  “Yeah, just Tuz.” The demon glared at me for a moment.

  I took a deep breath. Ah yes, the whole demon name thing. If you know a demon’s name, you could summon it. I had forgotten that, mostly because I never planned on summoning a demon. “Yeah, Tuz is doing some work for me.”

  “You summon him?” Jimmy asked, scratching the dirty blond hair behind one of his ears. I hoped he hadn’t picked up fleas again. Last time he did, we all got fleas and I had to look up a flea control spell.

  “Nah, I found him,” I said.

  “You know, I’m here if you want to ask me questions,” Tuzren said, annoyance creeping into his voice.

  “So, why aren’t you bigger?” Reginald asked pointedly.

  “Demons come in all…” Tuzren began.

  “Oh, he can,” I interrupted him. “He just doesn’t like to scare the locals.”

  A slight smile flitted across Tuzren’s face.

  “I think he’s cute,” Luna announced. “He’s got a sweet face.”

  I glanced askance at Luna and then eyed Tuzren. Cute and sweet weren’t something I’d associate with his face, but whatever. Maybe it was the fangs protruding from the mouth filled with large, sharp teeth. Maybe it was the horns on the head, or the eyes that looked like they belonged on a goat rather than anything humanoid. Or maybe it was that gray-green skin that looked like warts had taken residence on it. But if Luna called him cute, I’d go with it.

  Jimmy laughed. “You think Goblins are cute.”

  I shrugged. “Some of them are.”

  “I like you,” Tuzren said to Luna. “You’re witty and smart.”

  Luna blushed through the fur. I could just make the reddened skin out in the dim light.

  “Hey, Tuz, don’t muscle in on my girlfriend.” I noticed that I was out of ale already and flagged down a waitress to order more. The others added their orders.

  “So, why are you off work and how did you get a demon?” Luna asked.

  I told them what happened. When I was done with my story, even Reginald looked grudgingly impressed. Grudgingly. Or sick. I couldn’t tell for sure. He looked a bit angry too.

  “You banished a troll? That’s amazing,” Jimmy said, taking a gulp from his beer. “They should’ve given an award for ingenuity, not put you on administrative leave.”

  “Yeah, and I got more bad news. They rejected me for Alchemist studies.” I told them the story amid more ales. Even Tuzren chimed in with his own account. At that point, I was getting a pretty good buzz.

  “Bummer, man,” Jimmy said.

  “Not really that surprising.” Reginald finally spoke after his long silence. He had as many or more beers as I had, which meant he was in typical asshole mode.

  “That’s awful, Reg, how can you say that?” Luna asked.

  “It’s Reginald. Reginald Mercer Treadnary III. I come from a long line of mages that are still on the Wizarding Council. Not like a washed up Ironspell who learns his spells from the backs of cereal boxes.” He straightened himself in the booth.

  “Listen, Reggie,” Tuz spoke up as he felt my shoulders tighten. “I’ve known some Treadnarys in my time and every Ironspell I’ve known could cast rings around them, including this one. I don’t hang out with lame posers like a Treadnary.”

  “You shithead!” Reginald tried to leap across the table to get at the demon.

  “Whoa!” Jimmy shouted and grabbed Reginald, pulling him back down on the seat. “Don’t forget where you are.”

  “What the hell are you doing, Reg?” Luna growled. The bar went suddenly silent as all eyes turned to our table.

  “You’re going to start a fight in a werewolf bar?” I stared at Reginald incredulously. “You want to get eaten?” While I doubted anyone would seriously consider eating the asshole, the bites that would ensue would turn him for sure. Then, the werewolves would deal with him in their own way. That usually ended up dead. Despite him being such a prick, I wasn’t willing to watch him get torn to pieces.

  Tuzren had a sly smile on his face as he landed on my shoulder. The demon was getting a little heavy, but I put up with him. I had to hand it to Tuzren—he stuck up for me in front of the asshole. That upped his cred in my book.

  “Everything all right?” Tom Ulfhednar, the manager of Trader Vic’s appeared at our booth. Even for a werewolf, Tom was huge. He stood at least seven feet tall and half that wide. But that was all muscle and no fat. He ran Trader Vic’s for Alaric and Cassidy Jones, and didn’t require security given that he could enforce anything, short of a serious mage attack. You didn’t want to be on Tom’s bad side. At that moment, I wondered if we’d all get thrown out. That would definitely put a cap on a crappy day.

  Luna glared at Reginald who lowered his gaze and chewed his lip. “Everything is fine, Tom,” she said. “Reg was just getting a little too drunk for his own good. Weren’t you, Reg?”

  “Yeah…yeah…” Reginald muttered. “Sorry to cause any problems.” He glared at me under his unruly bangs.

  Tom nodded after giving Reginald a gimlet eye for a few uncomfortable moments. “See that you don’t. I’m cutting you all off from alcohol early—have a pot of coffee—on the house.”

  “Great, thanks Reggie,” Jimmy said in disgust after Tom left.

  “Oh well, I should probably sober up before I go.” The recent Orc attack popped into my mind.

  “Oh come on, stay a while,” Luna said. “Reg will sober up a bit and apologize eventually. Anyway, why haven’t you contested the rejection?”

  “What good will it do me? I’m sure the Dean has made up his mind.”

  “Maybe if you show up, he’ll reconsider,” Jimmy replied. “You’re really good at magic—alchemy should be a no-brainer.”

  “He’s afraid that the Dean will tell him how worthless Ironspells are,” Reginald grumbled.

  “You want me to hold him while you punch him?” Jimmy asked. “Jesus, Reggie, why are you such an asshole?”

  “Probably because he’s a Treadnary,” Tuzren remarked.

  “At least I don’t have a tiny demon defending my ass.”

  “Second thought, I’ll punch him.” Jimmy turned and elbowed Reginald hard in the stomach.

  “Oof!” Reginald doubled over and began retching. Jimmy scooted out of the booth and pulled Reginald with him.

  “Make way!” Jimmy shouted above the din. “He’s had too much to drink!” He half-led, half-dragged Reginald toward the bathrooms to throw up. That left me, Luna, and Tuzren alone as a waitress brought over a carafe of steaming coffee. Tuzren flew over to the empty seat. The waitress poured each of us a hot cup of coffee and went to another table.

  “I like that werewolf,” Tuzren remarked. “He’s got class.”

  Luna beamed at the demon. “Yeah, he knows how to keep Reggie in check.”

  “Why do you guys even put up with him?” Tuzren asked. “He’s a total asshole.”

  I shrugged. “He does know magic; granted not a lot. And he’s okay when he’s sober. There’s been rumors he was a changeling, only the Elves sent him back for being an asshole.”

  We all laughed. Changelings were either humans that had been taken by Elves—usually the Dark Elves or Drow—or the actual Elven children left in their place. These kidnapped human children served the Elves either as slaves in the case of the Drow, or as their own children in the case of Light Elves. When Elves stole human children, they usually left a magical construct to fool the parents, rather than their own children, until the parents discovered it weeks or months later when the magic weakened. In the meantime, the child was raised as their own and eventually “died” or disappeared. When humans had actual changeling Elven children, the Elves usually took back their children months or years after the first kidnapping.

  “Reggie just sometimes gets all snooty when he’s drinking,” Luna added. “Everyone knows he doesn’t have a lot of magic, but he’s not a bad sort for a wannabe wizard. He didn’t lie—his dad’s on the Wizarding Council and rich, so he doesn’t have to work. But he didn’t inherit much in terms of magic, which bothers him to no end. Bob’s magic is a real thorn in his side.”

  The demon turned to me. “Bob? You go by ‘Bob?’”

  I looked at him. “Yeah, why?”

  “A wizard named ‘Bob?’ That doesn’t exactly strike fear in the hearts of men.”

  “Is it supposed to?”

  “I should have a chat with your parents. ‘Bob’ isn’t a wizard name.”

  I shook my head. “You’d have a tough time with dad, unless you’re good at séances. Mom would probably tell you to fuck off. Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with my name. As you noticed on my name tag earlier, my given name is Robert. Bob is just a nickname.”

  “Lose it,” the demon said. “Maybe add an ‘o,’ so you can be Roberto Ironspell-Cabas.”

  “Oooh, sounds foreign and mysterious.” Luna giggled.

  “Nah, I like Bob anyway,” I said. “Easy to get along.”

  Tuzren sighed. He took a sip of the coffee and cocked his head. “This tastes like some pretty primo stuff.”

  “It’s called Hair of the Dog,” Luna said. “Guaranteed to take the buzz away.”

  “It’s not like some of those fancy coffees that get preprocessed in the guts of animals, is it?” I asked. Some really expensive coffees get fed to elephants or civets and then pooped out. The predigested coffee goes for over $500 a pound. I was crazy about coffee—just not shit.

  “And if it were?” Luna replied.

  “We’d all be drinking dog shit.” The demon laughed.

  I smelled the coffee. It didn’t have the smell or—presumably—the taste of dog crap. So, I took another sip and relaxed.

  “Speaking of shit,” Luna said. “You know, that’s really crappy what the Alchemy school did to you.”

  “Yeah, well…” I started.

  “I don’t know why you don’t just march right up there and demand an explanation.”

  “It won’t get me anywhere. If anything, it’ll put me on their black list.” I took another sip of the coffee. If it was dog shit, it was damn good dog shit.

  “Like they haven’t already rejected you?” Tuzren remarked. “Sounds like an excuse.”

  “I’m not making excuses,” I said.

  “And yet you want me to figure out who this Carnaz fellow is,” the demon said pointedly. “Why don’t you go and ask him?”

  “Yeah, why don’t you?” Luna agreed. “I can’t believe you’d be afraid of a professor. Even a professor of magic.”

  I glared at Tuzren. I didn’t need the demon to put words in my girlfriend’s mouth. I looked at Luna, and at that moment I did wonder why I was avoiding simply talking to the dean, himself. Was I really that intimidated?

  “Okay, I’ll do it,” I heard myself say. “I’ll go walk into the dean’s office and demand why I wasn’t chosen this year.”

  “Promise me you’ll do that.” Luna met my gaze.

  “Okay, I promise you I’ll go to the school tomorrow and see if they’ll reconsider.” It seemed simple enough, even though my head started pounding from the beginnings of a hangover. I took a gulp of Hair of the Dog and hoped it would be true to its name and get rid of it.

  “Oh how awesome!” Luna bounced in her seat and clapped her hands. She smiled, and I thought how beautiful she was, even with her condition. She gave me a kiss and threw her arms around me.

  I somehow knew I was going to regret my promise in the morning.

  Chapter Eleven

  The next morning, I awoke with a headache, no doubt due to the ale I had last night. Despite its name, Hair of the Dog did nothing for a hangover, even if it was good coffee. I stared blearily at the clock on the nightstand. It was a little after eleven, which meant I should probably call work and see if I was still on administrative leave. Instead, I picked up my smartphone and used the DPDS app and looked at my hours. It was blocked off in red saying “ADMINISTRATIVE LEAVE” across the entire week and next week. I didn’t bother looking at the weeks after that. Ah well, at least I’d get paid.

  I took a quick shower, shaved, and threw on some clothes before heading downstairs to get something to eat. The house had already made a pot of coffee—one of my favorite blends—and something smelled good in the oven. A quick inspection showed bacon and waffles staying warm. It also had a bottle of Ibuprofen on the counter.

  Getting the hint, I took two and thanked the NSAID gods for their magic pills and grabbed a cup of coffee. I had just sat down at the kitchen table and stared into the hot elixir of caffeine when Tuzren flew into the kitchen.

  “Hey, sleepyhead! Ready to go to the University?” He spoke in an ultra-cheerful, loud voice to ensure that it rattled what few brain cells I had left.

  “Fuck off!” I said and threw the latest copy of Alchemist Today from the table at him.

  “Oooh, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.” Tuzren deftly avoided the magazine and got in my face.

  Take that back what I said about demons. They are from the pit of hell. At least this one was. “Go away.”

  Tuzren tsked and flew over to the coffee maker. He grabbed a cup out of the cupboard and poured some coffee. He took a gulp and grinned. “Hey, this is pretty good stuff.”

  “If you want to live to finish that cup, I suggest you shut the hell up,” I snarled.

  “You’re going to the University, aren’t you?” Tuzren looked at me pointedly.

  “Maybe.”

  “You promised your werewolf girlfriend.”

  “So, I did.” I groaned and put my head on the table and wrapped my arms over it to help block out the light.

  “You’re not going to renege on your promise, are you?” Tuzren lowered himself to meet my gaze. I could feel his hot stinking breath on my face.

  “Dude, do you ever brush your teeth? You are so in need of a breath mint.”

  “Sorry about that,” Tuzren said, backing off slightly. “But you can’t renege on your promise.”

  “I’m not a demon,” I said. “That doesn’t affect me.”

  “Then, I’ll just have to tell Luna what a coward you are. As well as a liar. That’ll go over big.”

  “Get out of my house!”

  “No can do, sweetheart. You’ve got me for a month, remember?”

  “Then, go and find out that information about Carnaz.” I wasn’t in the mood to deal with him. “I’ll go. Just leave.”

  “Okay.” The demon vanished and I was left alone to stare at my lukewarm coffee.

  After breakfast, I grabbed another cup of coffee and considered my options. I really didn’t want to go to the University and act like a prick by demanding to know why they didn’t accept me. But at the same time, I was curious to see this new dean. Was he really a Dwarf, or was he a Dark Elf? I had seen Dwarves before, but never knew one personally. As for a Dark Elf, it was incredibly unlikely. They were as rare as hen’s teeth.

  I glanced up as Fluffy walked in and peck at some meat in a large dog bowl. Okay, maybe rarer than hen’s teeth, I thought wryly.

  For a moment I considered the possibility that Carnaz might be a Dark Elf. The thought was intriguing, if unlikely. The last time anyone saw a Dark Elf was more than two centuries ago in the Norse countries. They were at war with the Light Elves (now, simply called the Elves) and the Light Elves had defeated them, and presumably killed all of them. If there were Dark Elves or Drow around, they were few and far between.

  I suspected that if he were a Drow, he wouldn’t be hanging around a University full of wizards. The chance of getting identified would be too great. Light Elves detested their dark brethren and would eradicate them, law or no law.

  I didn’t expect anyone at the University to tell me what the real reason was behind my application’s rejection, but maybe I’d find out why Carnaz became dean after Henrik died. Wizards lived about three times longer than normal humans, which made Henrik’s death puzzling. I recalled the old dean celebrated his 100th birthday a couple of years ago, making him not even middle aged for a wizard. Sure, heart attacks could happen to anyone, but wizards and mages were a tough group. You generally didn’t hear about one dying from something as mundane as a clogged artery.

  I unhooked the Toyota from the tiny house. I added more wards to the house this time and drove off toward the University. When I got there, I parked in one of the outer lots because the guest parking is always full, thanks to students too cheap to purchase a parking pass. I walked up to the newer brownstone that sat next to Mary Reed Hall where I knew the Wizardry and Alchemy Studies main offices were. As I entered, I felt the tingle of announcement wards activate to let the office administrator know someone had come in. A magical doorbell, as it were.

  The Wizardry and Alchemy Studies offices were located on the first floor, but I knew they had spilled into the basement where a number of musty old tomes moldered. Most grad students would have to make the trip down there a few times for research, but, for the most part, even the grad students would avoid the collection in favor of more modern books.

  I wasn’t most students.

  I walked down a large hall with cheap laminated flooring that was already scuffed and scraped up from students. I passed by closed doors that only had number designations, presumably classrooms. A couple of undergraduates, two kids who looked maybe fifteen at best, passed me by to go into one of the classrooms. The boy had blue, spikey hair, torn jeans, and at least five piercings on his ear and nostrils. He wore a distressed black leather jacket. The girl who was with him had similar piercings with bleached skin and tattoos of dragons and demons running up her bare arms to a sleeveless black shirt, skin tight leggings, and high heel boots. Her hair looked dyed black, and it was short and spiky like her companion’s. I blinked as they passed and I took a quick peek at their auras using my magic sight.

 

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