Weekends, p.9
Weekends, page 9
Candi met me at the door. “Where did you go?”
“I just ran the loop. I was going to jump in the lake but no way, it is cold. I do need a nice shower though. Are you up for the day? You didn’t have to get up yet Babe.”
“Well there was a nose poking me in the face and I didn’t think it was you. When I noticed you were gone I looked to make sure your car was still here. I figure you had gone for a walk or run. How about you take a shower then we go back to bed?”
“How about you go back to bed. I want to take a shower and have some coffee.”
She scowled. “What’s going on with you? Tell me please. You don’t want to make love with me, why?”
“Oh Babe, that’s not true. I do want to be with you. I just don’t want that to be the only thing we have. If all you want is a friend with benefits then I will consider that and let you know. I thought we both wanted more. Maybe that would be the best for us. No demands, no expectations, just occasional sex. Let me take my shower and I’ll think about it.”
“Wait a damn minute here. That isn’t what I meant. Dana, don’t walk away from me.”
I was already in the bedroom and taking my clothes off. I headed to the bathroom for a shower. Once I got the water right, I stepped into it. It felt nice. I quickly washed up and shampooed my hair. I was feeling better when I stepped out. After I dried off I put on clean sweats and tee shirt. It wasn’t cold but it was cool. Had I been at home I would definitely have my fireplace going. Finally, I came out from the bedroom.
Candice was sitting on the couch. She had a plate with cinnamon rolls and the pot of coffee on a hot pad. She also had a bowl of mixed fruit there. She had her cup of coffee in her hands. “Please sit down.”
“Yum this all looks great. Thank you. You didn’t have to do all this.” I grabbed a coffee then put some fruit in a small bowl. When I sat back and faced Candi, I had a roll in one hand and my coffee in the other. “Ok, talk to me Candice.”
“I don’t want just sex with you Dana. Please don’t think that. I love you Sweetheart and I want to make love to you, but that’s not all I want.”
“Tell me what you do want. Tell me where you see this going if anywhere. I’m not looking for you to say the right thing. I’m looking for you to say the truth about how you feel. There is no right or wrong here, just the truth about how you feel.”
Candice drank some more coffee. She grabbed another roll then sat back facing me. “You are difficult.” She smiled at me. “I mean it, you are. I love you. I want to make love to you. I want to spend my life with you. I want to live with you. Right now, I don’t see that as being able to happen. I am willing to take it slow and work this out bit by bit. We need to spend more time together, not just in bed. We need to get to know each other intimately. We aren’t there yet for the happily ever after. We have to work on us and we have to work on where we would live. That’s going to be the hard one. You love where you live and what you do. I love where I live and what I do. The commute for either of us is unreasonable on a daily basis. So, I think our future is going to be somewhere else entirely. We will need to find a place that has both a border for my work and a job that you will like, and a place to live that we both like. Where are you at with us?”
I finished my roll and drank down my coffee. Pouring another one, I started. “First, I don’t think I’m difficult. I think you are.” Sitting back, I smiled. “I don’t think we have much of a chance to make it work. I know that isn’t what you want to hear but it is how I feel. With that said, I would love to get to know you better. I would love to spend more time with you. I would love to make love with you, often. Being friends with benefits would be less complicated for us both.” I shrugged but I wasn’t smiling.
We both sat quietly. We ate breakfast and finished our coffee. “So, what would you like to do today?”
“I just thought we would relax together here. We could sit on the dock if it’s nice or stay inside if it’s too cool. Was there something you wanted to do?”
“I could take you on a tour of the area or I could show you where I work. Do either of those sound good to you?”
“I lived here for seventeen years, so I don’t need a tour. I don’t really want a tour of where you work.”
“How about visiting with any of your old friends from when you lived here?”
I shook my head.
“So, you just want to stay here.”
“Yes, I just came here to visit with you. You are the only reason I am here.”
“Ready for a nap yet?”
“Maybe”
Candi picked up the dishes from breakfast and I grabbed the coffee pot. We brought them into the kitchen and washed them quickly stowing the leftovers. Candi reached over and locked the door. She came back and took my hand, leading me back to the bedroom. She started undressing me and I did the same with her. Finally, we climbed back in bed to love each other. The kissing commenced.
**
As much as I tried to relax and enjoy the love being given to me, I just couldn’t. My mind was a jumble of thoughts and worries. When her mouth touched my breast, I whimpered. Candi could feel the stress in my body. She tried her best but just couldn’t relax me. Finally, she came back up to lie beside me.
“Talk to me Dana. Tell me what the hell is going on with you? Is there someone else? Have you met someone and just don’t want to tell me?”
“No of course not. I shouldn’t have come here this weekend, it was a bad idea.”
“Is this about me or about this town?”
“Both I guess. It’s about you and you live in this town.”
“Let’s get out of here for a while. Do you like canoeing? I have a canoe.”
“Yes, I love that. Ok, let’s go for a paddle.”
We got out to bed, both feeling like that was a disaster. I pulled on my sweats and tee again and dressed my feet. Candice did the same. She slipped my hand into hers before we left the bedroom.
“It will be alright Dana. We will be alright. We just have to concentrate on the present not the future yet. The future will come and we will get through it.”
“OK”
We made the way down to the dock and Candi grabbed the canoe then flipped it into the water. She held the end of it for me to get in and step to the front. We had both pulled our sweatpants up to our knees to keep them dry. Once I was seated, I grabbed a paddle to help steady the canoe as Candi pushed it out and climbed in back.
“We need to stay to the right until we get past that post. There are a lot of rocks that are just under the surface.”
“Oh, good thing I didn’t just run and jump in this morning after my run then.”
“Oh god, Baby no; don’t ever do that here, you’d be dead. After that post we are clear. We can glide around all day. We should have packed a lunch.”
“I was just thinking the same thing but I didn’t think of it earlier.”
Once we got out a ways Candi wanted to talk.
“Why don’t you set your paddle back inside and gently turn around so we can talk face to face, please.”
She held the canoe as steady as possible while I gingerly twisted around. Once I was situated again, I smiled at her. “Are you going to chauffeur me around? I don’t think I can paddle backwards.”
“I will take you anywhere you want to go. Now, when we are in bed together I only want you thinking about the desire I feel for you. I only want you to feel said desire and close your mind to any other thoughts. We will work through this Dana, I promise we will.”
“How Candi, how do you think we can work through this?”
“I don’t know yet but I am thinking about it. I have a few thoughts but nothing solid yet. Do you want me to tell you my thoughts?”
“Yes please.”
“Ok well, there are borders all across the country so we can move together to a new location. I just have to see what locations are hiring.”
“Ok but that doesn’t help me.”
“Well I’m sure there are charities everywhere that would love to have someone who knows the corporate world like you do. The other option might be for me to transfer my abilities to the Sheriff’s department or the local PD down there.”
“No, I don’t want you to be a cop, that’s dangerous.”
“Honey, what I do now can be dangerous as well.”
“Don’t tell me that. I don’t like that. I hate that your uniform includes a gun. I’m really sorry I’ve ruined your weekend Candi. I can leave and go home whenever you want me too.”
“I don’t want you to go home at all. It felt wonderful sleeping with you next to me last night as it will tonight and tomorrow night. I’d be extremely happy if you were living here with me. Would you consider it Sweetheart?”
“No, I don’t want to live here.”
“That leaves two choices, I move down there and change departments or we both move to a new location together. The point that I’m desperately trying to get across to you Dana, is that I want to be with you. I want to make this work, no matter what we have to do. I love you Dana.”
I tried to smile at her. “I do love you as well. We have a lot to think about, don’t we?”
“I’ll make a deal with you. When you are down there and I am up here, we can think about what we are willing to do to get back to each other. That will give us the answer. If you figure out that you don’t want me to come to you or you to me, then you let me know and we will call it a day. But as for me, I love you and I want to come to you when I can and I want you to come to me when you can. I’m not ready to call it a day and I don’t think I ever will be.”
She paddled me around the lake for a couple hours then we were getting hungry. We headed back to shore. “How about I cook on the grill for us today? We can sit on the porch and enjoy the afternoon.”
“I thought you didn’t want to be at home today.”
“You know what; I want to do whatever you want to do. You drove all the way to see me and I just want to be with you.”
We spent the Saturday trying to be ok with it all. We enjoyed our lunch on the porch. Back inside, we played cribbage and I found out she was very competitive, but I kicked butt.
“So, I was planning on taking you out to dinner, but if you don’t want to go, we can stay here?”
“Where did you want to go?”
“I thought the pub for pizza and a pitcher of beer. What do you think?”
I shrugged, “Sure let’s go.”
“Wow, well don’t get all excited about it Dana.” She shook her head and grabbed the keys.
We sat in the corner and ordered a BBQ chicken pizza. Candice poured out our beers and we sat quietly.
When she reached over and slid her hand over mine, I jumped. “Penny for your thoughts?”
I smiled. “Sorry, I guess I was lost there for a minute. You work tomorrow morning, right?”
“Yes, I work seven am to three pm. What are you planning while I’m gone?”
“I guess I’ll just read on the dock or the porch.”
“Don’t you want to visit with anyone?”
“No, I really don’t.”
Just then Sonja walked in with her daughter. They were getting pizza to go.
“Hey, it’s nice to see you up here again. Are you going to be moving back?”
“No Sonja, I will not be.”
“Oh, that’s too bad.” She turned her attention to Candice. “So, you will be moving away then. That’s too bad as well. You’ve made a lot of friends since moving here. We hate to lose you.”
“Nobody said Candice was moving either Sonja. Don’t start that shit. People can be friends without living together you know, or maybe you don’t know that.” I did not like her, even in high school she was a big gossip.
Candice looked at me shocked. Sonja just turned away and headed up to the counter. Once she was out of earshot Candice responded.
“What the hell Dana? What was that all about?”
“She will never change. She will never grow up. She just wants something to gossip about.”
“Yeah well I happen to live here Dana. Are you going to insult everyone that stops by to say hello?”
“She wasn’t saying hello, she was looking for any bit of dirt she could find to spread around.”
“Enough Dana.”
The waitress came with the pizza and plates. I grabbed a plate and a piece then sat quietly to eat. Candice was still staring at me.
“What?” I looked up at her.
“Nothing I guess.”
The dinner was quiet. We each ate two pieces and boxed up the rest. When we finished our mugs of beer we headed out. We hadn’t said ten words to each other. It was a quiet ride back to the camp.
“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you in the pub. I know Sonja from way back and trust me she is a gossip to no end. Who do you think brought your post into the light and my attention? She emailed Rick with the juicy tidbit and he called me that night to verify.”
“I live here and I work here and I need to play nice with these people. I need to keep a pleasant level of interaction with them because I am part of a government office.”
“I read you loud and clear Officer McCain. It won’t happen again, I assure you.” I stepped over to the sink and put water in the kettle to heat. I took down a cup and headed to my bag to grab a tea bag.
“So, you’re too tired for me tonight as well? We’re not going to make love? You’ll drink your tea and go to sleep like last night?”
I didn’t answer. I stood at the counter dunking my teabag in the water.
“I don’t get it Dana. You are so different this trip from when I went down to visit you. Why? Please talk to me Dana.”
Bringing my tea with me to the couch, I sat down. “I said I was sorry Candice. I don’t know what else you want from me. I think this was a bad idea. I’m going to leave tomorrow, when you go to work, I’ll head out. We had a wonderful weekend together before, but it should have stayed as just one weekend. I’m sorry if I’m hurting your feeling here Candi, I really do like you so very much. I can sleep out here on the couch tonight. You need to be able to sleep since you have to work tomorrow.”
“Tell me something. If I had the weekend off and had come down to visit you instead, would it have ended the same way?”
“I don’t know that answer.” I closed my eyes and sipped my tea.
“You hate it here that much?”
“Yes”
“Ok, I guess it would be better for you to head back home tomorrow. I don’t want you to force yourself to stay here and be unhappy. But please don’t sleep on the couch. I do want you in my arms. I don’t want us to end. I like you very much as well.”
**
We snuggled in together but it remained quiet. Candice started caressing me and I closed my eyes and enjoyed her touch. “If you want me to stop, you need to tell me.”
“It feels nice Candi. I’m so sorry that I’ve ruined it. In a different place we would probably be living blissfully together by now. I don’t want you to move for me. You like your life here, I can see that. This is where you should be.”
“Will you please stop talking now so I can make love to you?” Her lips covered mine.
We spent the next two hours loving each other. We didn’t talk, but we felt and we enjoyed our time. Snuggled up after, catching our breath, tears ran from both our eyes. Neither of us wanted this to end but it just wasn’t meant to be. Finally, we fell asleep in each other’s arms.
In the morning Candice got up and went to shower before work. She came out and I was still in bed with my eyes closed. She hoped I would change my mind about leaving early. She stood at the closet and dressed. Her final accessory, she took from a locked safe in the closet. She belted her weapon on and made her way out to the kitchen.
I had been watching and seeing that weapon on her hip alarmed me. I wasn’t scared of her, but rather for her. I didn’t like that she had to wear a weapon at all. Slowly I got up and pulled on my clothes. I tossed my things in my bag and brought it out to the kitchen with me. Once I set it on a stool I grabbed my brush and pulled my hair back into a ponytail.
Candice smiled at me. “I love to pull on your ponytail. It was what drew me to you. Please don’t go Babe. I don’t want you to go. Stay, relax, read, whatever you want to do but please don’t go.”
“Whether today or tomorrow, I still have to go, what difference does it make Candice? This just won’t work for us.”
Candice took a few steps toward me. I automatically took a few steps away. I shook my head at her.
“I can’t even hug you good-bye? I need to leave for work now.” She was noticeably upset.
I stepped over to her but leaned on only on the side without the weapon. “Please stay safe, I love you.”
“I love you too Dana. Will you be here when I get home?”
“No”
“Good-bye”
“Bye Candi.” I turned away with tears running from my eyes as she walked out the door.
I quickly made a cup of coffee for my travel mug. Shutting off the coffee maker and checking one last time that I wasn’t forgetting anything, I went out the door and made sure it was locked.
It was a long drive home.
NINE
Things got back to normal for me. I realized it just wasn’t meant to be. I worked and I went home, just as I had been doing. I checked my emails every couple of days but I got nothing from Candice. She was moving on as well it seemed.
I decided that I didn’t want to go to the boy’s inn on a big party weekend, so I set up my weekend for Columbus weekend. It would be cool and quiet and I could just relax and enjoy the beautiful beach and inn. I called and set it up.
“So, will Candice be joining you for the long weekend Sweetie?”
“No, it didn’t work out. Too many miles for us to make it work.”
“Really, I would have told everyone that I thought you two belonged together.”
